Cancer Support Group

[[Bl...]]

Hi Karen! Good to hear from you….but sorry to hear about your cancer. Your current situation will be over before you know it.....our bodies have amazing built-in recovery mechanisms.

 

I personally chose not to have any further checkups once my original treatment plan ended in August 2015. I am not sure how well I would hold up, if they suggested I needed further treatment(s) given everything I’ve already been through….mainly from what benzos/z-drugs have done to my health.

 

I recently had my gallbladder removed...it just had had enough....and so had I!! I kept hoping for recovery from whatever had happened to it(GB), but the pain was gradually causing other issues that could have, in themselves, become serious secondary issues. That surgery was in July 2017....still recovering from that entire GB ordeal.

 

I had a neighbor who had cancer of the liver, and over the course of several years he has had 1-2-3? surgeries. He’s probably age 65 and smokes…not in the best of health. I no longer live by him so I’m not sure how he’s currently doing(I did speak with one of my used-to-be neighbors who said this person is still there ). Last time I saw him was a year and a half ago, just before I moved out of that complex. He has always been pretty active…has even driven himself to his appointments some 50 miles from the town we live in….in thick traffic.

 

Sorry to hear you are now dealing with w/d issues again/still. I understand how stressful going through a cancer treatment plan is….and on top of that still be recovering from benzos. If I recall…….you still were not fully recovered from benzo w/d at the time of your cancer diagnosis? I basically sleep-walked through chemo /then surgery(lumpectomy&/3 lymphnode removals)/then radiation/and then finally 12 months of herceptin infusions came to its end (due to being HER2 receptor positive needed herceptin).

 

What I learned from my experience is that the field of cancer treatments is rapidly moving forward. As much as I dislike the whole medical monopoly on our lives….I do have a measure of trust in the system. But I also have a healthy fear of it.

 

Again...glad to hear from you

[[Ka...]]

So wonderful to hear from you as well BlueRose 

 

Yes, the treatments seem to go on and on until we just say no more! I just spoke to the radiologist who is doing my ablation, he is one of the few doctors that speak positively and he really seems to think he can get rid of what is in the liver now. It all sounds dreadful to me but as you were saying, after so many treatments and surgeries, I think that my tolerance is very low for the poking and prodding. I don't want to give up but I do feel so exhausted and now cannot sleep. Didn't sleep hardly at all last night, was full of anxiety and strange thoughts all night. Damn benzos!

 

Most of the time, I just try to do things that make me feel somewhat "normal" and dive into music and movies and pretend that I am not battling for my life. I am pretty good at distracting myself until it just gets to be too much!!!

 

I wish that I did not have such a dysfunctional brain but I guess no one really deals with this well. I don't think.

 

You really have been through a lot too. I still have a port and the oncology office keeps wanting to drag me into the office for visits. I could do like you and say adios! Would love to get this port taken out, but not sure there would be any value to that. I really did not plan to keep it forever.

 

Oh well, I could go on and on. Take care and feel free to IM me anytime! 

[[Tr...]]

Hi everyone, cancer fighters and all.

 

I've been away from this site a long, long time. Got diagnosed with colorectal cancer September 2016. Since then I've had a major surgery to remove a large tumor. Later went through 28 days of radiation...ouch and then chemo. Yuck. Not for the faint of heart. I never got cleared by scans, in fact things took a negative turn a few months back. Found out I have metastatic cancer to the liver, several small tumors. I haven't had chemo since Nov last year.

 

Now the plan is to have several fairly serious procedures to get rid of (hopefully), the tumors in the liver. A microwave ablation scheduled for March 12 and then possibly radioactive beads injected in my liver that slowly release radiation over 2 weeks which can make you very sick, temps, nausea and pain. At the moment I am planning to do the ablation but nothing definite after that. That would be 3 procedures plus more scans.

 

Anyhow, through all this, I let them talk me into taking Ativan for the intense nausea during chemo. It worked of course but then turned on me in a hurry. I started crying uncontrollably at the doctors office last visit and was just totally miserable. So decided to stop taking any, I was not taking it every day and it was in very small amounts. 0.5 mg. For the good it did, I have been paying dearly. I cannot believe that I am having to go through a mini withdrawal again but the stuff is definitely poison to me. I am not counting the few times I took it as part of my soon to be five years off klonopin. For whatever that is worth now.

 

My Dr was very negative right before Christmas and said maybe 4-6 months of time left. Then a radiologist that is doing the ablation said 1 year to 2 with the radiation treatment. Who knows, I know they don't know for sure but it is sure scary. All I know to do is keep fighting while I can until it gets to be too much. I've been through a lot but the nightmare is that with the stupid benzo issue, I still cannot sleep or get the rest my body needs. Still have severe, worse anxiety now and loud tinnitus. At least you would think I could get some relief from that problem at this time. There is absolutely nothing I can take to do to help this. My doctor of course is pushing Lexapro on me, like that would help. He is very smart but is clueless about the benzo problems I have. Still no one recognizes the problem. No one!

 

I am feeling better now after staying off the Ativan now. That problem is a bad as the cancer it seems but it's just not fatal at least in my case.

 

Just wanted to pop in and give an update, sad as it is. I am doing fairly well considering everything. I do miss having people to chat with here. Emotional support is much needed!

 

Take care all. 

 

Hi,

 

I just checked in to see how everyone was and am bummed out to read that you’ve been suffering.  I found Ativan to be a nightmare which I discovered about 2 months after I started taking it at around round 4.  Sometimes it calmed me down and other times it literally caused anxiety attacks.  My switch from Klonopin to Ativan while undergoing chemo back in 2015 was not fun.  I’m happy to hear you are off the Ativan.  I’ve been off for almost a year and a half now and although I’m not totally healed I am so much better than while on it.

 

I hope whichever recovery road you take works for you.  I hope all the cancer gets taken out.  Good luck and fight as best you can!

[[ga...]]

bump

 

[[Tr...]]

Just checking in.  It looks like everyone has been ok or just doesn’t feel like writing.  I’m over 2 years free of benzos and have also been in remission for almost 3 years.  I’m holding my on and am always trying to live the best that I can. 

 

Whatever your challenges are know that you’re not alone.  Just do the best you can.  That’s really all we can do on any given day.

 

Best to you

[[mo...]]

Trying, I have yet to make the garden with the sign for you three... but I am recovering and cured. ❤️

 

I imagine there is more catching up to do, whether silently and in spirit or in typing. It will happen, for now this is all I can stomach— it isn’t you or other fighters and survivors, it’s the compartment in my brain that the thread fits in and related frozen trauma.

[[Ho...]]

Just checking in.  It looks like everyone has been ok or just doesn’t feel like writing.  I’m over 2 years free of benzos and have also been in remission for almost 3 years.  I’m holding my on and am always trying to live the best that I can. 

 

Whatever your challenges are know that you’re not alone.  Just do the best you can.  That’s really all we can do on any given day.

 

Best to you

 

Good to see you TTBP! Congrats on the benzos and cancer free! I’m still working on my taper, I’m down to 1.3 mg. I’m doing OK all things considered, just been busy and haven’t felt like writing much!

[[mo...]]

I’m sick with worry because I’ve been putting a colposcopy that I need to get off for a while now. Hopefully I can become brave enough to call Planned Parenthood and schedule an appointment I will likely need to wait a very long time for. Hopefully I am alright, would really suck to have that be something devastating.

 

Guess all I can do is face it. I’ll call tonight or tomorrow to make an appointment. Was supposed to be on a list but they never called, too. Oh well.

[[Ho...]]

I’m sick with worry because I’ve been putting a colposcopy that I need to get off for a while now. Hopefully I can become brave enough to call Planned Parenthood and schedule an appointment I will likely need to wait a very long time for. Hopefully I am alright, would really suck to have that be something devastating.

 

Guess all I can do is face it. I’ll call tonight or tomorrow to make an appointment. Was supposed to be on a list but they never called, too. Oh well.

 

Just call and get it over with! Let’s hope for good results and peace of mind.

[[mo...]]

Thanks Hope76, I called yesterday. I’ll call again tomorrow, couldn’t get an appt. yet.

 

[[mo...]]

I’m sick with worry because I’ve been putting a colposcopy that I need to get off for a while now. Hopefully I can become brave enough to call Planned Parenthood and schedule an appointment I will likely need to wait a very long time for. Hopefully I am alright, would really suck to have that be something devastating.

 

Guess all I can do is face it. I’ll call tonight or tomorrow to make an appointment. Was supposed to be on a list but they never called, too. Oh well.

 

 

 

Just call and get it over with! Let’s hope for good results and peace of mind.

 

I got one, January 29th.

[[Ho...]]

Do a lot of people get cancer from the stress of benzo withdrawal? I've been in terrible WD for nearly 2 years. I'm asking myself how could I not get cancer from all the stress my body has been under.

[[mo...]]

No results until not this Tuesday but next. They took a samples of the outer part of the cervix because some areas of  displaysia were found under the microscope. They take a samples from the inside anyway, because it’s hard to see.

 

No one asked me in my personal life, so this is the only place I have for support right now.

[[mo...]]

I got a message on my phone saying I need to get the LEEP procedure. I have to drive some hours away for this. In the message she said that this doesn’t mean I have cancer but that this is to prevent these changes from becoming cancerous.

 

I’m not too excited about this, but thankful obviously that it’s not yet cancer.

 

Not entirely sure what’s going on though, not certain really. Ugh  :'(

[[Ho...]]

I got a message on my phone saying I need to get the LEEP procedure. I have to drive some hours away for this. In the message she said that this doesn’t mean I have cancer but that this is to prevent these changes from becoming cancerous.

 

I’m not too excited about this, but thankful obviously that it’s not yet cancer.

 

Not entirely sure what’s going on though, not certain really. Ugh  :'(

 

I’m glad you went for your test! I’m sure the procedure will be a bit  of a hassle but thankfully it’s not obviously cancer? Good luck and please update us after!

[[mo...]]

Thank you Hope. I’ll let you guys know what happens. I’ll call and schedule tomorrow. I tried calling today but was about to start crying on the phone.

[[Ho...]]

I got a message on my phone saying I need to get the LEEP procedure. I have to drive some hours away for this. In the message she said that this doesn’t mean I have cancer but that this is to prevent these changes from becoming cancerous.

 

I’m not too excited about this, but thankful obviously that it’s not yet cancer.

 

Not entirely sure what’s going on though, not certain really. Ugh  :'(

 

mon pilote is the LEEP for your cervix or your colon? I want to add that it's nothing to worry about. They found "pre-cancerous" cells and want to get rid of them before they turn cancerous. Even though they may never turn cancerous. I've had the same thing in my rectum. It was totally painless.

 

I had cancer 3 years ago, lymphoma. It was so fast growing it almost killed me. I lost 30 pounds in the 9 months before I was diagnosed, then another 20 pounds during my first round of chemo. Which actually means that I lost 50 pounds in the 9 months before my diagnosis, and gained 20 pounds in tumors. Luckily the type of cancer I had responds really well to chemo, as long as the cancer is found in time. I am now 3 years in remission. And with the type of cancer I had, after 2 years clear it's considered gone.

 

Everyone says I was a trooper during the whole mess, and that I was generally cheery. But you know, you're pretty much on autopilot the whole time. You go to the doctor, you go to the hospital (my chemo was as an inpatient), you just do as you're told. After I was all done with chemo and the scans 2 months post-chemo, all of a sudden I was like, oh my god, what just happened to me! That's when I went on xanax.

 

After 2 years on xanax, 1 mg a day, I decided I didn't need the xanax anymore. I knew that they would be hard to stop, and that I would cross that bridge when I got to it. I quit cigarettes, methamphetamine, and opioids, all cold turkey. How would xanax be different? Well, different they are! I've been tapering for 6 months, and I think (I hope!) I'm almost done. Less than 50 days to go, if all goes right.

[[mo...]]

I got a message on my phone saying I need to get the LEEP procedure. I have to drive some hours away for this. In the message she said that this doesn’t mean I have cancer but that this is to prevent these changes from becoming cancerous.

 

I’m not too excited about this, but thankful obviously that it’s not yet cancer.

 

Not entirely sure what’s going on though, not certain really. Ugh  :'(

 

mon pilote is the LEEP for your cervix or your colon? I want to add that it's nothing to worry about. They found "pre-cancerous" cells and want to get rid of them before they turn cancerous. Even though they may never turn cancerous. I've had the same thing in my rectum. It was totally painless.

 

I had cancer 3 years ago, lymphoma. It was so fast growing it almost killed me. I lost 30 pounds in the 9 months before I was diagnosed, then another 20 pounds during my first round of chemo. Which actually means that I lost 50 pounds in the 9 months before my diagnosis, and gained 20 pounds in tumors. Luckily the type of cancer I had responds really well to chemo, as long as the cancer is found in time. I am now 3 years in remission. And with the type of cancer I had, after 2 years clear it's considered gone.

 

Everyone says I was a trooper during the whole mess, and that I was generally cheery. But you know, you're pretty much on autopilot the whole time. You go to the doctor, you go to the hospital (my chemo was as an inpatient), you just do as you're told. After I was all done with chemo and the scans 2 months post-chemo, all of a sudden I was like, oh my god, what just happened to me! That's when I went on xanax.

 

After 2 years on xanax, 1 mg a day, I decided I didn't need the xanax anymore. I knew that they would be hard to stop, and that I would cross that bridge when I got to it. I quit cigarettes, methamphetamine, and opioids, all cold turkey. How would xanax be different? Well, different they are! I've been tapering for 6 months, and I think (I hope!) I'm almost done. Less than 50 days to go, if all goes right.

 

Hey me too... Hodgkin’s Lymphoma right after taper. 6 mo.’s chemo and I know nearly every word of what you wrote... thank you so much. Cervix, scheduled for this week—I’ll come back after and say “hi,” providing I’m alive and able 🌿

[[2t...]]

I got a message on my phone saying I need to get the LEEP procedure. I have to drive some hours away for this. In the message she said that this doesn’t mean I have cancer but that this is to prevent these changes from becoming cancerous.

 

I’m not too excited about this, but thankful obviously that it’s not yet cancer.

 

Not entirely sure what’s going on though, not certain really. Ugh  :'(

 

mon pilote is the LEEP for your cervix or your colon? I want to add that it's nothing to worry about. They found "pre-cancerous" cells and want to get rid of them before they turn cancerous. Even though they may never turn cancerous. I've had the same thing in my rectum. It was totally painless.

 

I had cancer 3 years ago, lymphoma. It was so fast growing it almost killed me. I lost 30 pounds in the 9 months before I was diagnosed, then another 20 pounds during my first round of chemo. Which actually means that I lost 50 pounds in the 9 months before my diagnosis, and gained 20 pounds in tumors. Luckily the type of cancer I had responds really well to chemo, as long as the cancer is found in time. I am now 3 years in remission. And with the type of cancer I had, after 2 years clear it's considered gone.

 

Everyone says I was a trooper during the whole mess, and that I was generally cheery. But you know, you're pretty much on autopilot the whole time. You go to the doctor, you go to the hospital (my chemo was as an inpatient), you just do as you're told. After I was all done with chemo and the scans 2 months post-chemo, all of a sudden I was like, oh my god, what just happened to me! That's when I went on xanax.

 

After 2 years on xanax, 1 mg a day, I decided I didn't need the xanax anymore. I knew that they would be hard to stop, and that I would cross that bridge when I got to it. I quit cigarettes, methamphetamine, and opioids, all cold turkey. How would xanax be different? Well, different they are! I've been tapering for 6 months, and I think (I hope!) I'm almost done. Less than 50 days to go, if all goes right.

 

Hey me too... Hodgkin’s Lymphoma right after taper. 6 mo.’s chemo and I know nearly every word of what you wrote... thank you so much. Cervix, scheduled for this week—I’ll come back after and say “hi,” providing I’m alive and able 🌿

[/quote

 

 

Not that its a club I really want to be in but I was put on Klonopin just after my treatment for Non Hodgkin's lymphoma, everything was as you say on auto pilot during the treatments but when they finished and I was waiting to see if they worked I got a bit freaked out, It was in my stomach so I need to go for an upper GI with a  biopsy to check every 6 months, as it happens I was no where near as freaked as I was trying to stop benzos.

Anyway next month I go for a check up that with a bit of luck will be 3 + years cancer free and 2 years since I jumped from klonopin

 

Wishing everyone on here a good future.

 

2trusting

[[mo...]]

I made it through, but I am exhausted. Not as bad as I had thought it could be. Still have a week or so for results.

 

I have my 6mo. scans next month also, 2trusting.

 

I posted all over to distract myself and now can’t “keep up.” Lol. It’ll be ok... :/ Tired and feels like am fighting off a cold.

 

Peace and healing to you three and all here—and thanks so much. Gotta rest for a time.

[[mo...]]

Well I’m just bleeding and bleeding. Usually my monthly is four days, and light. I have bled 11 days in the last 30 and it’s not as light.

 

Feeling really drained and out of sorts. No one mentioned LEEP causing unusual cycles. I’m pretty sure it’s ok but I don’t feel ok.

 

The results were exactly as they thought, no cancer and only moderate changes. Hopefully the LEEP procedure removes everything and there’s no necessity for any further anything but routine check-ups.

 

If I’m still this drained I’m not going to do my scans this month.

 

Hoping you aren’t feeling too stressed about scans or any of it in your lives, 2trusting and HopetoDoThis.

[[es...]]

I am an 11 year survivor of 100% pure tubular BC, stage 1a. EP+ less than 0.5cm well differentiated. I had a double mastectomy due to being terrified for years by mammogram callbacks and breast density. No malignet cells found in tissue, nodes, lypmph, or blood. Small spot of atypical at biopsy site. I thought this was behind me and maybe it is. My type usually does not recur until 10-15 years later. I did not have rads or tamoxifen as risk outweighed benefit. My taper has been terrible and I am concerned what the stress is doing to my immune system. I discovered a very tiny mole near the mastectomy scar. It does not conform to cancer photos but amhaving it checked. It occurred to me that the withdrawal which I know changes cortisol levels might be too risky for me. I really want to go forward, but not at the risk of turning on dormant cells. I know some of you are medical professionals. How do you feel about this? There, most likely has been no research, but perhaps you may have read something you can share. I am 68 now and do not want to spend years tapering, if it means another cancer fight. I am very distressed now I would so appreciate any thoughts. Thank you, Esperanza

[[mo...]]

I don’t know, but I can try just to be here. I don’t know, esperanza, sorry.

[[Ho...]]

So when your oncologist comes asking for you to pay his $250,000 bill, how do you deal with the anxiety?

[[mo...]]

So when your oncologist comes asking for you to pay his $250,000 bill, how do you deal with the anxiety?

 

HopeToDoThis,

 

I’m sure I clicked and wasn’t well or didn’t see this. How are you managing now?

 

...

 

I came over to say thanks again and also that I got a follow up exam (pap) and everything is normal. Phew, what a relief. Thank God.