Daily Micro-Tapering Support Group

[[We...]]

MT Friends,

Well, I've resumed my taper, reducing X by 1.8%  putting me at 0.63 mg total. For now, I am forced to continue with compounded capsules. 

 

Thanks for the support!

Marija

 

 

Marija,

 

I'm so happy you are starting your taper up again. Hang in there, I know the sx's are tough but you won't always feel like this. we're all here for you.

 

hugs

shan

Marija,

 

Glad to hear you have resumed your taper.

 

I hope that you are feeling better.

 

Anne

 

Gardener & Anne,

Thank you!

Although symptomatic, I feel emotionally positive knowing I'm moving forward again. Albeit at a 🐌 pace, but forward non the less. 👍

 

Marija

[[We...]]

 

 

Howdy Gardener. You're a sweetheart. I'm still trying to find a way to get scripts. Saw a psych. today at the medical school who really degraded me, put me down, said I was on way too high a dose of K, and that I could taper off 2-3mg of the stuff in less than two months. Next thing I knew, we were face-to-face while I told him NEVER to talk to me or ANY patient like that ever again. He kept trying to interrupt me with his German accent and condescending tone. He was definitely the biggest jerk I've ever met in my life. I told him that it was HIS wonderful industry that put me on "too much K" to begin with, and thank you very much. His wonderful industry was fast to put me on the stuff, but was useless when it came to actually caring about people and helping me/them get off the poison that he/they prescribed. I also told him to say "hello" to Hitler when he dies.

 

Sorry, but I was ticked. Uh, I didn't get a script.

 

Next!!

 

Jeff,

 

I am sorry to hear that it didn't work out today.  There is someone out there that will write the prescriptions. The only option is to keep looking.  Again, you might have to go outside of your insurance network.  I wish I could offer some helpful suggestions here, but I really can't think of anything else. Sydney gave some good suggestions in an earlier post.  I hope you get this resolved soon.

 

Jeff,

I feel the same way. I wish had more suggestions for you. Good for you for standing up for yourself with the doctor. Please keep trying. and please let us know how things are going.

 

take care , brother,

SHannon

[[Sh...]]

Hi MT team,

 

After 17 days at  full dose liquid .5mg x2, and mildly symptomatic, I tried one day of pills and still felt some symptoms.  Mostly jaw tension, teeth are sensitive and some head pressure. Mild anxiety too.  So...it looks like a liquid taper will be the way I go unless it is too rough.  I start the new job on Aug 3. I need to stabilize and see how the job goes before I try to taper.  Do these  mild symptoms mean I will most likely have a rough taper?  I just fear getting slammed once I start.  The plan was to reduce by .25ml each day. I could use help with a spreadsheet to track doses and ensure I am below the 10% per month reduction.  I am not sure of the math as the doses get smaller.  I can try to put a tentative schedule together tomorrow.  Too tired tonight.

 

Thanks for your continued support. 

 

You all are awesome. 

 

Shabbat Shalom my friends,

Shaani

[[do...]]

Hello Buddies,

 

Just wanted to let you all know that I was not tolerating the liquid too well, so I went back on my pills.

 

Too many withdrawal symptoms without even cutting.  I felt like I had brain damage.  I was forgetting things, felt like my self confidence took a  major dive and one of the worst things was my vision; I could not tolerate brightness and not just from the sun but the brightness from my laptop, the fluorescent lights in a store or the library.  I was forever squinting.

 

I am considering a daily dry taper or trying the liquid again minus the alcohol.

 

I read your posts daily and continue to wish you all the best.

 

Take care,

doodle dog

 

[[...]]

Hello Buddies,

 

Just wanted to let you all know that I was not tolerating the liquid too well, so I went back on my pills.

 

Too many withdrawal symptoms without even cutting.  I felt like I had brain damage.  I was forgetting things, felt like my self confidence took a  major dive and one of the worst things was my vision; I could not tolerate brightness and not just from the sun but the brightness from my laptop, the fluorescent lights in a store or the library.  I was forever squinting.

 

I am considering a daily dry taper or trying the liquid again minus the alcohol.

 

I read your posts daily and continue to wish you all the best.

 

Take care,

doodle dog

 

doodle dog,

    Please hang in there. Are you still just dosing twice a day? As your doses get smaller you might feel more W/D symptoms. I would seriously consider dosing three times a day, I'm sure it would help alleviate the horrible hypersensitivity of your nervous system. Your gaba receptors are trying to figure out what to do. Have you tried partial liquid, partial pills? If you divided your 2 doses into 3 you could very slowly switch over. I can't use alcohol so I'm using propylene glycol US Food grade kosher to dissolve my benzo then adding water and it is working good, but some days I will hold for a day. I do know for a fact that when I was just using very small amounts of milk to mix it I was having a horrible time trying to get accurate doses and I could really feel it. When you are dosing small amounts you have to be extremely accurate or you will feel the slightest miscalculation. I see that Sharkey and Builder and others were very correct about the fact that larger amounts of liquid should be used. Will pray for you, and things will get better once you stabilize.

[[...]]

Well, pray for drugs! As a lot of you know, I've been feverishly trying to get scripts for my clonazepam so I can continue my MT. My newest primary doc won't write scripts for controlled substances, and I've tried everything known to man to find ANYONE in my insurance network who'd work with me. I went to see my D.O. today about my trashed thyroid (thanks, benzo) and she said she'd send a couple of referral forms to people she knows of in my network. They may not be taking new patients, but maybe they'll make an exception if I follow up and remind them what my doc did.

 

Fingers crossed!!!!

 

Geaux LSU.

 

Jeff

 

Hey Jeff,

 

Sending positive thoughts your way.

 

doodle dog

 

Jeff you an LSU fan?  I graduated from LSU 

 

What!!!!!!  You graduated from LSU??!!  I was born and raised in New Orleans and then graduated from LSU before moving to Los Angeles. Mike the Tiger, jambalaya, Golden Girls, Who Dat (Geaux Saints), Tiger Stadium, Dale Brown, the quadrangle....great stuff, huh? Man, I bet we could get together and tell some stories. I'm a Delta Tau Delta dude.

 

I love you man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Jeff

 

So, other than loving Sharkey, how are you doing, Jeff?? Been wondering about you!!

 

Howdy Gardener. You're a sweetheart. I'm still trying to find a way to get scripts. Saw a psych. today at the medical school who really degraded me, put me down, said I was on way too high a dose of K, and that I could taper off 2-3mg of the stuff in less than two months. Next thing I knew, we were face-to-face while I told him NEVER to talk to me or ANY patient like that ever again. He kept trying to interrupt me with his German accent and condescending tone. He was definitely the biggest jerk I've ever met in my life. I told him that it was HIS wonderful industry that put me on "too much K" to begin with, and thank you very much. His wonderful industry was fast to put me on the stuff, but was useless when it came to actually caring about people and helping me/them get off the poison that he/they prescribed. I also told him to say "hello" to Hitler when he dies.

 

Sorry, but I was ticked. Uh, I didn't get a script.

 

Next!!

 

Jeff,

  Sorry you had to deal with someone who has such a poor bedside manner so to speak. I would write a complaint to whoever is in charge of the residency program, if he is a resident, even if he's not. Extremely unprofessional. Keep searching and something is bound to come through for you.

[[Sy...]]

Well, pray for drugs! As a lot of you know, I've been feverishly trying to get scripts for my clonazepam so I can continue my MT. My newest primary doc won't write scripts for controlled substances, and I've tried everything known to man to find ANYONE in my insurance network who'd work with me. I went to see my D.O. today about my trashed thyroid (thanks, benzo) and she said she'd send a couple of referral forms to people she knows of in my network. They may not be taking new patients, but maybe they'll make an exception if I follow up and remind them what my doc did.

 

Fingers crossed!!!!

 

Geaux LSU.

 

Jeff

 

Hey Jeff,

 

Sending positive thoughts your way.

 

doodle dog

 

Jeff you an LSU fan?  I graduated from LSU 

 

What!!!!!!  You graduated from LSU??!!  I was born and raised in New Orleans and then graduated from LSU before moving to Los Angeles. Mike the Tiger, jambalaya, Golden Girls, Who Dat (Geaux Saints), Tiger Stadium, Dale Brown, the quadrangle....great stuff, huh? Man, I bet we could get together and tell some stories. I'm a Delta Tau Delta dude.

 

I love you man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Jeff

 

So, other than loving Sharkey, how are you doing, Jeff?? Been wondering about you!!

 

Howdy Gardener. You're a sweetheart. I'm still trying to find a way to get scripts. Saw a psych. today at the medical school who really degraded me, put me down, said I was on way too high a dose of K, and that I could taper off 2-3mg of the stuff in less than two months. Next thing I knew, we were face-to-face while I told him NEVER to talk to me or ANY patient like that ever again. He kept trying to interrupt me with his German accent and condescending tone. He was definitely the biggest jerk I've ever met in my life. I told him that it was HIS wonderful industry that put me on "too much K" to begin with, and thank you very much. His wonderful industry was fast to put me on the stuff, but was useless when it came to actually caring about people and helping me/them get off the poison that he/they prescribed. I also told him to say "hello" to Hitler when he dies.

 

Sorry, but I was ticked. Uh, I didn't get a script.

 

Next!!

 

Oh, Jeff, I am so sorry. I was so hoping for better news. I can understand your feeling angry and frustrated. I would have been face to fact with him too! You can absolutely file a complaint with a supervisory staff person or even if he is credentialed, with his credentialing board. When I saw the "ass" who was so degrading and discouraging to me, I used it as a motivator to say, I WILL get off this stuff, and then send him a card when I'm done!! If all else fails maybe try to contact Stuart Shipko via his website/email and see if there is someone local to you he knows of. Otherwise, keep on truckin', on to the next, and think of how good you will feel when you are free of all of this crap!

Still watching, and still sending good vibes,

Sydney

[[jr...]]

Hi MT team,

 

After 17 days at  full dose liquid .5mg x2, and mildly symptomatic, I tried one day of pills and still felt some symptoms.  Mostly jaw tension, teeth are sensitive and some head pressure. Mild anxiety too.  So...it looks like a liquid taper will be the way I go unless it is too rough.  I start the new job on Aug 3. I need to stabilize and see how the job goes before I try to taper.  Do these  mild symptoms mean I will most likely have a rough taper?  I just fear getting slammed once I start.  The plan was to reduce by .25ml each day. I could use help with a spreadsheet to track doses and ensure I am below the 10% per month reduction.  I am not sure of the math as the doses get smaller.  I can try to put a tentative schedule together tomorrow.  Too tired tonight.

 

Thanks for your continued support. 

 

 

http://www.benzosupport.org/Get%20schedule.htm

You all are awesome. 

 

Shabbat Shalom my friends,

Shaani

[[Hi...]]

Hi guys think my last post got lost on here in the midst of all the action

 

So I cut to 5.5mg ativan for 6 days and was doing ok until day 4 now it's Rocky really bad I'm having psychotic breakdown again but it happens every wave and at least like yesterday I was in and out instead of all in

 

But I accidentally cut all my pills and the remaining ones daily dosing add up to 5.4mg is cutting .1mg at a time too fast I definitely feel it and I don't know if it's too fast because my waves are so severe and unpredictable even when holding or before tapering. Because of kindling and ct I'm just screwed

 

So is .1mg cuts too big. I've cut .5mg in one month. I'm so sick and twisted but I was having some good day so and now I have to drop again after only 5 days cuz a stupid mistake I made

 

Second question

 

Because I am so kindled and I mean KINDLED probably worse than anyone on here not bragging or anything. I'm is there any chance that a slow taper will help restore my brain and nervous system? Or is it too late for that because of kindling. I am not stable in any way and never have been except for the first month I was reinstated. Now I'm just in severe tolerance withdrawal. Or waves from my cold turkey detoxes. I feel hopeless

 

I don't know how much or how fast to cut. I want to do the daily micro tapering but I'm detecting using a scale that is not very accurate I think noodle was helping me with this before.

 

.1 mg cuts too much? Will my brain and nervous system heal? Or am I just preventing more kindling by slow taper? I get absolutely no therapeutic value from benzodiazepines anymore. Just pure withdrawal unless I'm completely stress free sometimes I have semi Windows for s few days

 

Still gotta come off methadone and gabapentin after this and I always have this fear that I'm in tolerance withdrawal from gabapentin also or something Idk. I'm just so sick and overwhelmed and twisted up

[Guest [Ma...]]

Hello Buddies,

 

Just wanted to let you all know that I was not tolerating the liquid too well, so I went back on my pills.

 

Too many withdrawal symptoms without even cutting.  I felt like I had brain damage.  I was forgetting things, felt like my self confidence took a  major dive and one of the worst things was my vision; I could not tolerate brightness and not just from the sun but the brightness from my laptop, the fluorescent lights in a store or the library.  I was forever squinting.

 

I am considering a daily dry taper or trying the liquid again minus the alcohol.

 

I read your posts daily and continue to wish you all the best.

 

Take care,

doodle dog

 

Hi Doodle,

I'm in agreement with Rdb regarding increasing the number of times you dose in a day. Perhaps triangulating your dose will provide better coverage, reducing the drug's peaks and troughs? For me, with X's short 1/2 life, I was unable to dose just 3 or even 4 times a day even. Especially at the lower dosages.

 

Hang in there!!

Marija

[[an...]]

Hello Buddies,

 

Just wanted to let you all know that I was not tolerating the liquid too well, so I went back on my pills.

 

Too many withdrawal symptoms without even cutting.  I felt like I had brain damage.  I was forgetting things, felt like my self confidence took a  major dive and one of the worst things was my vision; I could not tolerate brightness and not just from the sun but the brightness from my laptop, the fluorescent lights in a store or the library.  I was forever squinting.

 

I am considering a daily dry taper or trying the liquid again minus the alcohol.

 

I read your posts daily and continue to wish you all the best.

 

Take care,

doodle dog

 

Hi Doodle,

 

I am sorry that you had such a rough time with the liquid.  Are you feeling better now that you are back on the pill form?  I hope that you are able to stabilize soon. Some people are not able to tolerate the liquid.  There are many that are very sensitive to the slightest change in dose.  There are other ways to taper though.  Dry cutting and as you said you could try using water without the alcohol.  First I think it is important to stabilize as much as possible before tapering.

[[an...]]

Hello Buddies,

 

Just wanted to let you all know that I was not tolerating the liquid too well, so I went back on my pills.

 

Too many withdrawal symptoms without even cutting.  I felt like I had brain damage.  I was forgetting things, felt like my self confidence took a  major dive and one of the worst things was my vision; I could not tolerate brightness and not just from the sun but the brightness from my laptop, the fluorescent lights in a store or the library.  I was forever squinting.

 

I am considering a daily dry taper or trying the liquid again minus the alcohol.

 

I read your posts daily and continue to wish you all the best.

 

Take care,

doodle dog

 

Hi Doodle,

I'm in agreement with Rdb regarding increasing the number of times you dose in a day. Perhaps triangulating your dose will provide better coverage, reducing the drug's peaks and troughs? For me, with X's short 1/2 life, I was unable to dose just 3 or even 4 times a day even. Especially at the lower dosages.

 

Hang in there!!

Marija

 

I am also in agreement with Rdb and Marija about possibly dividing your two daily doses into three doses/day.  At first, this might feel like you have cut because you are dividing the same dose into three equal doses.  It could take a couple of days to get used to the three doses. 

[[ga...]]

Hi MT team,

 

After 17 days at  full dose liquid .5mg x2, and mildly symptomatic, I tried one day of pills and still felt some symptoms.  Mostly jaw tension, teeth are sensitive and some head pressure. Mild anxiety too.  So...it looks like a liquid taper will be the way I go unless it is too rough.  I start the new job on Aug 3. I need to stabilize and see how the job goes before I try to taper.  Do these  mild symptoms mean I will most likely have a rough taper?  I just fear getting slammed once I start.  The plan was to reduce by .25ml each day. I could use help with a spreadsheet to track doses and ensure I am below the 10% per month reduction.  I am not sure of the math as the doses get smaller.  I can try to put a tentative schedule together tomorrow.  Too tired tonight.

 

Thanks for your continued support. 

 

You all are awesome. 

 

Shabbat Shalom my friends,

Shaani

 

Hope you are feeling better today, Shaani. Sorry that I cannot help with math and schedules. Crossing to L has slowed me down, and I was never a math person to start with! I think if you post a schedule, one of the math people will look at it for you!

[[ga...]]

Hello Buddies,

 

Just wanted to let you all know that I was not tolerating the liquid too well, so I went back on my pills.

 

Too many withdrawal symptoms without even cutting.  I felt like I had brain damage.  I was forgetting things, felt like my self confidence took a  major dive and one of the worst things was my vision; I could not tolerate brightness and not just from the sun but the brightness from my laptop, the fluorescent lights in a store or the library.  I was forever squinting.

 

I am considering a daily dry taper or trying the liquid again minus the alcohol.

 

I read your posts daily and continue to wish you all the best.

 

Take care,

doodle dog

 

doodle dog,

    Please hang in there. Are you still just dosing twice a day? As your doses get smaller you might feel more W/D symptoms. I would seriously consider dosing three times a day, I'm sure it would help alleviate the horrible hypersensitivity of your nervous system. Your gaba receptors are trying to figure out what to do. Have you tried partial liquid, partial pills? If you divided your 2 doses into 3 you could very slowly switch over. I can't use alcohol so I'm using propylene glycol US Food grade kosher to dissolve my benzo then adding water and it is working good, but some days I will hold for a day. I do know for a fact that when I was just using very small amounts of milk to mix it I was having a horrible time trying to get accurate doses and I could really feel it. When you are dosing small amounts you have to be extremely accurate or you will feel the slightest miscalculation. I see that Sharkey and Builder and others were very correct about the fact that larger amounts of liquid should be used. Will pray for you, and things will get better once you stabilize.

 

I agree with this suggestion. As I got lower, I dosed more often (same amount, smaller doses) and it did help.

[[We...]]

Hi guys think my last post got lost on here in the midst of all the action

 

So I cut to 5.5mg ativan for 6 days and was doing ok until day 4 now it's Rocky really bad I'm having psychotic breakdown again but it happens every wave and at least like yesterday I was in and out instead of all in

 

But I accidentally cut all my pills and the remaining ones daily dosing add up to 5.4mg is cutting .1mg at a time too fast I definitely feel it and I don't know if it's too fast because my waves are so severe and unpredictable even when holding or before tapering. Because of kindling and ct I'm just screwed

 

So is .1mg cuts too big. I've cut .5mg in one month. I'm so sick and twisted but I was having some good day so and now I have to drop again after only 5 days cuz a stupid mistake I made

 

Second question

 

Because I am so kindled and I mean KINDLED probably worse than anyone on here not bragging or anything. I'm is there any chance that a slow taper will help restore my brain and nervous system? Or is it too late for that because of kindling. I am not stable in any way and never have been except for the first month I was reinstated. Now I'm just in severe tolerance withdrawal. Or waves from my cold turkey detoxes. I feel hopeless

 

I don't know how much or how fast to cut. I want to do the daily micro tapering but I'm detecting using a scale that is not very accurate I think noodle was helping me with this before.

 

.1 mg cuts too much? Will my brain and nervous system heal? Or am I just preventing more kindling by slow taper? I get absolutely no therapeutic value from benzodiazepines anymore. Just pure withdrawal unless I'm completely stress free sometimes I have semi Windows for s few days

 

Still gotta come off methadone and gabapentin after this and I always have this fear that I'm in tolerance withdrawal from gabapentin also or something Idk. I'm just so sick and overwhelmed and twisted up

 

Hi Hiphop,

 

I would say your cuts were 'too big' since you are having such bad symptoms. Many people here only cut .0025mg a day. Why don't you try smaller cuts. It may take you longer, but it will help you actually make it through the taper with less 'hell'.

 

and yes, you still can heal, even though you have kindled. The body has an amazing ability to repair itself once we take out the harmful things, and give it what it needs.

 

take care

shan

[[We...]]

Hello Buddies,

 

Just wanted to let you all know that I was not tolerating the liquid too well, so I went back on my pills.

 

Too many withdrawal symptoms without even cutting.  I felt like I had brain damage.  I was forgetting things, felt like my self confidence took a  major dive and one of the worst things was my vision; I could not tolerate brightness and not just from the sun but the brightness from my laptop, the fluorescent lights in a store or the library.  I was forever squinting.

 

I am considering a daily dry taper or trying the liquid again minus the alcohol.

 

I read your posts daily and continue to wish you all the best.

 

Take care,

doodle dog

 

Hi Doodle,

 

I am sorry that you had such a rough time with the liquid.  Are you feeling better now that you are back on the pill form?  I hope that you are able to stabilize soon. Some people are not able to tolerate the liquid.  There are many that are very sensitive to the slightest change in dose.  There are other ways to taper though.  Dry cutting and as you said you could try using water without the alcohol.  First I think it is important to stabilize as much as possible before tapering.

 

Hi Doodle,

 

Sorry you were having such a hard time with the liquid. It's ok though. There are still other ways. Many people are able to use the scales and they do fine. I really do believe that some people are too sensitive to handle liquid, and their bodies don't adjust.

 

I'm really looking into a dry taper too. Don't give up, hope. You will find a way that works for you,

 

and we are all here to walk you through it.

 

love, shan

[[We...]]

Hi MT team,

 

After 17 days at  full dose liquid .5mg x2, and mildly symptomatic, I tried one day of pills and still felt some symptoms.  Mostly jaw tension, teeth are sensitive and some head pressure. Mild anxiety too.  So...it looks like a liquid taper will be the way I go unless it is too rough.  I start the new job on Aug 3. I need to stabilize and see how the job goes before I try to taper.  Do these  mild symptoms mean I will most likely have a rough taper?  I just fear getting slammed once I start.  The plan was to reduce by .25ml each day. I could use help with a spreadsheet to track doses and ensure I am below the 10% per month reduction.  I am not sure of the math as the doses get smaller.  I can try to put a tentative schedule together tomorrow.  Too tired tonight.

 

Thanks for your continued support. 

 

You all are awesome. 

 

Shabbat Shalom my friends,

Shaani

 

Hope you are feeling better today, Shaani. Sorry that I cannot help with math and schedules. Crossing to L has slowed me down, and I was never a math person to start with! I think if you post a schedule, one of the math people will look at it for you!

 

Hi Shaani,

 

thanks for updated on how you are doing. I'm sorry you are still having the symptoms from the switch to liquid. Just remember you are STRONG, and no matter what happens with your taper, YOU WILL be able to deal with it, even while starting this new job.

keep us posted my friend,

this wont last forever,

shan

[[Be...]]

Hi guys think my last post got lost on here in the midst of all the action

 

So I cut to 5.5mg ativan for 6 days and was doing ok until day 4 now it's Rocky really bad I'm having psychotic breakdown again but it happens every wave and at least like yesterday I was in and out instead of all in

 

But I accidentally cut all my pills and the remaining ones daily dosing add up to 5.4mg is cutting .1mg at a time too fast I definitely feel it and I don't know if it's too fast because my waves are so severe and unpredictable even when holding or before tapering. Because of kindling and ct I'm just screwed

 

So is .1mg cuts too big. I've cut .5mg in one month. I'm so sick and twisted but I was having some good day so and now I have to drop again after only 5 days cuz a stupid mistake I made

 

Second question

 

Because I am so kindled and I mean KINDLED probably worse than anyone on here not bragging or anything. I'm is there any chance that a slow taper will help restore my brain and nervous system? Or is it too late for that because of kindling. I am not stable in any way and never have been except for the first month I was reinstated. Now I'm just in severe tolerance withdrawal. Or waves from my cold turkey detoxes. I feel hopeless

 

I don't know how much or how fast to cut. I want to do the daily micro tapering but I'm detecting using a scale that is not very accurate I think noodle was helping me with this before.

 

.1 mg cuts too much? Will my brain and nervous system heal? Or am I just preventing more kindling by slow taper? I get absolutely no therapeutic value from benzodiazepines anymore. Just pure withdrawal unless I'm completely stress free sometimes I have semi Windows for s few days

 

Still gotta come off methadone and gabapentin after this and I always have this fear that I'm in tolerance withdrawal from gabapentin also or something Idk. I'm just so sick and overwhelmed and twisted up

 

Hi Hiphop,

 

Whoa, you do have a lot going on and I'm sorry for all of it.  Your cut from 5.5 to 5.4 is just under 2%. Typically, that wouldn't cause big symptoms, but you've likely kindled so any cut feels really bad. If your flare in symptoms comes with cuts, then dry cut micro tapering may be worth a shot. I think you are wise to consider this. What is the average pill weight in grams (avg of 10 pills), and the pill increment you take? I know you've already cut your pills, but I'm hoping you save the bits in a sealed container as you never know when you'll need these.

 

Hoping you get some semi-window days.

Bennie

[Guest [Ma...]]

Hi guys think my last post got lost on here in the midst of all the action

 

So I cut to 5.5mg ativan for 6 days and was doing ok until day 4 now it's Rocky really bad I'm having psychotic breakdown again but it happens every wave and at least like yesterday I was in and out instead of all in

 

But I accidentally cut all my pills and the remaining ones daily dosing add up to 5.4mg is cutting .1mg at a time too fast I definitely feel it and I don't know if it's too fast because my waves are so severe and unpredictable even when holding or before tapering. Because of kindling and ct I'm just screwed

 

So is .1mg cuts too big. I've cut .5mg in one month. I'm so sick and twisted but I was having some good day so and now I have to drop again after only 5 days cuz a stupid mistake I made

 

Second question

 

Because I am so kindled and I mean KINDLED probably worse than anyone on here not bragging or anything. I'm is there any chance that a slow taper will help restore my brain and nervous system? Or is it too late for that because of kindling. I am not stable in any way and never have been except for the first month I was reinstated. Now I'm just in severe tolerance withdrawal. Or waves from my cold turkey detoxes. I feel hopeless

 

I don't know how much or how fast to cut. I want to do the daily micro tapering but I'm detecting using a scale that is not very accurate I think noodle was helping me with this before.

 

.1 mg cuts too much? Will my brain and nervous system heal? Or am I just preventing more kindling by slow taper? I get absolutely no therapeutic value from benzodiazepines anymore. Just pure withdrawal unless I'm completely stress free sometimes I have semi Windows for s few days

 

Still gotta come off methadone and gabapentin after this and I always have this fear that I'm in tolerance withdrawal from gabapentin also or something Idk. I'm just so sick and overwhelmed and twisted up

 

Hi Hiphop,

 

Whoa, you do have a lot going on and I'm sorry for all of it.  Your cut from 5.5 to 5.4 is just under 2%. Typically, that wouldn't cause big symptoms, but you've likely kindled so any cut feels really bad. If your flare in symptoms comes with cuts, then dry cut micro tapering may be worth a shot. I think you are wise to consider this. What is the average pill weight in grams (avg of 10 pills), and the pill increment you take? I know you've already cut your pills, but I'm hoping you save the bits in a sealed container as you never know when you'll need these.

 

Hoping you get some semi-window days.

Bennie

 

Hiphop,

Is there anyway you are able to hold your Ativan for a while to let your body adjust to the 1 time, 20 mg V dose from tooth extraction? Perhaps a week or 2?

Letting that run it's course first may help you get back on track with your Ativan cuts.

Like Bennie mentioned, 2% is not a lot but that's 2% on top of the V withdrawal and several C/t. Your CNS is demanding small and gentle adjustments.

 

Marija

[[Ul...]]

Well, pray for drugs! As a lot of you know, I've been feverishly trying to get scripts for my clonazepam so I can continue my MT. My newest primary doc won't write scripts for controlled substances, and I've tried everything known to man to find ANYONE in my insurance network who'd work with me. I went to see my D.O. today about my trashed thyroid (thanks, benzo) and she said she'd send a couple of referral forms to people she knows of in my network. They may not be taking new patients, but maybe they'll make an exception if I follow up and remind them what my doc did.

 

Fingers crossed!!!!

 

Geaux LSU.

 

Jeff

 

Hey Jeff,

 

Sending positive thoughts your way.

 

doodle dog

 

Jeff you an LSU fan?  I graduated from LSU 

 

What!!!!!!  You graduated from LSU??!!  I was born and raised in New Orleans and then graduated from LSU before moving to Los Angeles. Mike the Tiger, jambalaya, Golden Girls, Who Dat (Geaux Saints), Tiger Stadium, Dale Brown, the quadrangle....great stuff, huh? Man, I bet we could get together and tell some stories. I'm a Delta Tau Delta dude.

 

I love you man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Jeff

 

So, other than loving Sharkey, how are you doing, Jeff?? Been wondering about you!!

 

Howdy Gardener. You're a sweetheart. I'm still trying to find a way to get scripts. Saw a psych. today at the medical school who really degraded me, put me down, said I was on way too high a dose of K, and that I could taper off 2-3mg of the stuff in less than two months. Next thing I knew, we were face-to-face while I told him NEVER to talk to me or ANY patient like that ever again. He kept trying to interrupt me with his German accent and condescending tone. He was definitely the biggest jerk I've ever met in my life. I told him that it was HIS wonderful industry that put me on "too much K" to begin with, and thank you very much. His wonderful industry was fast to put me on the stuff, but was useless when it came to actually caring about people and helping me/them get off the poison that he/they prescribed. I also told him to say "hello" to Hitler when he dies.

 

Sorry, but I was ticked. Uh, I didn't get a script.

 

Next!!

 

Oh dear! That didn't go as planned!    :'(

 

Jeff, so sorry.

Absolutely appalling.

Hope you are able to find a provider soon.

 

Thanks, Marija!  Yep, it's a huge bummer, but we all have huge bummers.  Next!

[[Ul...]]

Well, pray for drugs! As a lot of you know, I've been feverishly trying to get scripts for my clonazepam so I can continue my MT. My newest primary doc won't write scripts for controlled substances, and I've tried everything known to man to find ANYONE in my insurance network who'd work with me. I went to see my D.O. today about my trashed thyroid (thanks, benzo) and she said she'd send a couple of referral forms to people she knows of in my network. They may not be taking new patients, but maybe they'll make an exception if I follow up and remind them what my doc did.

 

Fingers crossed!!!!

 

Geaux LSU.

 

Jeff

 

Hey Jeff,

 

Sending positive thoughts your way.

 

doodle dog

 

Jeff you an LSU fan?  I graduated from LSU 

 

What!!!!!!  You graduated from LSU??!!  I was born and raised in New Orleans and then graduated from LSU before moving to Los Angeles. Mike the Tiger, jambalaya, Golden Girls, Who Dat (Geaux Saints), Tiger Stadium, Dale Brown, the quadrangle....great stuff, huh? Man, I bet we could get together and tell some stories. I'm a Delta Tau Delta dude.

 

I love you man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Jeff

 

So, other than loving Sharkey, how are you doing, Jeff?? Been wondering about you!!

 

Howdy Gardener. You're a sweetheart. I'm still trying to find a way to get scripts. Saw a psych. today at the medical school who really degraded me, put me down, said I was on way too high a dose of K, and that I could taper off 2-3mg of the stuff in less than two months. Next thing I knew, we were face-to-face while I told him NEVER to talk to me or ANY patient like that ever again. He kept trying to interrupt me with his German accent and condescending tone. He was definitely the biggest jerk I've ever met in my life. I told him that it was HIS wonderful industry that put me on "too much K" to begin with, and thank you very much. His wonderful industry was fast to put me on the stuff, but was useless when it came to actually caring about people and helping me/them get off the poison that he/they prescribed. I also told him to say "hello" to Hitler when he dies.

 

Sorry, but I was ticked. Uh, I didn't get a script.

 

Next!!

 

Hey Jeff,

 

So glad that you gave him a piece of your mind.  Why are some doctors so condescending and arrogant.  We are trying to get this yucky stuff out of our systems and just need a doctor who will be understanding and patient to see us through to the end.

 

Take care,

doodle dog

 

Doodle, like everybody else here, it blows my mind. We seek help from the poison, and they run. They're quick to start us on the stuff, but say they don't want to deal with the liability of helping us when it comes time to quit. I'm clueless.

 

Bless ya!

 

Jeff

[[Ul...]]

Well, pray for drugs! As a lot of you know, I've been feverishly trying to get scripts for my clonazepam so I can continue my MT. My newest primary doc won't write scripts for controlled substances, and I've tried everything known to man to find ANYONE in my insurance network who'd work with me. I went to see my D.O. today about my trashed thyroid (thanks, benzo) and she said she'd send a couple of referral forms to people she knows of in my network. They may not be taking new patients, but maybe they'll make an exception if I follow up and remind them what my doc did.

 

Fingers crossed!!!!

 

Geaux LSU.

 

Jeff

 

Hey Jeff,

 

Sending positive thoughts your way.

 

doodle dog

 

Jeff you an LSU fan?  I graduated from LSU 

 

What!!!!!!  You graduated from LSU??!!  I was born and raised in New Orleans and then graduated from LSU before moving to Los Angeles. Mike the Tiger, jambalaya, Golden Girls, Who Dat (Geaux Saints), Tiger Stadium, Dale Brown, the quadrangle....great stuff, huh? Man, I bet we could get together and tell some stories. I'm a Delta Tau Delta dude.

 

I love you man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Jeff

 

So, other than loving Sharkey, how are you doing, Jeff?? Been wondering about you!!

 

Howdy Gardener. You're a sweetheart. I'm still trying to find a way to get scripts. Saw a psych. today at the medical school who really degraded me, put me down, said I was on way too high a dose of K, and that I could taper off 2-3mg of the stuff in less than two months. Next thing I knew, we were face-to-face while I told him NEVER to talk to me or ANY patient like that ever again. He kept trying to interrupt me with his German accent and condescending tone. He was definitely the biggest jerk I've ever met in my life. I told him that it was HIS wonderful industry that put me on "too much K" to begin with, and thank you very much. His wonderful industry was fast to put me on the stuff, but was useless when it came to actually caring about people and helping me/them get off the poison that he/they prescribed. I also told him to say "hello" to Hitler when he dies.

 

Sorry, but I was ticked. Uh, I didn't get a script.

 

Next!!

 

Hey Jeff

 

Good on you for telling him straight up he deserved it, I remember the dr that I had who originally put me on A telling me that it was easy to get off, then when I told her my difficulty she wanted to palm me off to the psyche ward needless to say I found another dr who was much more sympathetic and is letting me do it my way.

 

Luv n hugs

 

Gypsy

 

Good for you, Gypsy! I'm glad you found someone to work with you. Maybe your doc is in MY network. I'm beyond desperate at this point, but it may be worth the drive (wherever you are) 

[[Ul...]]

 

 

Howdy Gardener. You're a sweetheart. I'm still trying to find a way to get scripts. Saw a psych. today at the medical school who really degraded me, put me down, said I was on way too high a dose of K, and that I could taper off 2-3mg of the stuff in less than two months. Next thing I knew, we were face-to-face while I told him NEVER to talk to me or ANY patient like that ever again. He kept trying to interrupt me with his German accent and condescending tone. He was definitely the biggest jerk I've ever met in my life. I told him that it was HIS wonderful industry that put me on "too much K" to begin with, and thank you very much. His wonderful industry was fast to put me on the stuff, but was useless when it came to actually caring about people and helping me/them get off the poison that he/they prescribed. I also told him to say "hello" to Hitler when he dies.

 

Sorry, but I was ticked. Uh, I didn't get a script.

 

Next!!

 

Jeff,

 

I am sorry to hear that it didn't work out today.  There is someone out there that will write the prescriptions. The only option is to keep looking.  Again, you might have to go outside of your insurance network.  I wish I could offer some helpful suggestions here, but I really can't think of anything else. Sydney gave some good suggestions in an earlier post.  I hope you get this resolved soon.

 

Thanks, Anne. Out of my network would be tough because the financial situation is dismal, at best. Just have to keep the faith and keep looking. There's not a whole lot of road left to travel, but I'll definitely keep looking.

 

Thanks again!

 

Jeff

[[Ul...]]

Hello Buddies,

 

Just wanted to let you all know that I was not tolerating the liquid too well, so I went back on my pills.

 

Too many withdrawal symptoms without even cutting.  I felt like I had brain damage.  I was forgetting things, felt like my self confidence took a  major dive and one of the worst things was my vision; I could not tolerate brightness and not just from the sun but the brightness from my laptop, the fluorescent lights in a store or the library.  I was forever squinting.

 

I am considering a daily dry taper or trying the liquid again minus the alcohol.

 

I read your posts daily and continue to wish you all the best.

 

Take care,

doodle dog

 

Follow your heart, Doodle. Ya can't go wrong with that!!

 

Prayers for ya.

 

Jeff

[[Ul...]]

Well, pray for drugs! As a lot of you know, I've been feverishly trying to get scripts for my clonazepam so I can continue my MT. My newest primary doc won't write scripts for controlled substances, and I've tried everything known to man to find ANYONE in my insurance network who'd work with me. I went to see my D.O. today about my trashed thyroid (thanks, benzo) and she said she'd send a couple of referral forms to people she knows of in my network. They may not be taking new patients, but maybe they'll make an exception if I follow up and remind them what my doc did.

 

Fingers crossed!!!!

 

Geaux LSU.

 

Jeff

 

Hey Jeff,

 

Sending positive thoughts your way.

 

doodle dog

 

Jeff you an LSU fan?  I graduated from LSU 

 

What!!!!!!  You graduated from LSU??!!  I was born and raised in New Orleans and then graduated from LSU before moving to Los Angeles. Mike the Tiger, jambalaya, Golden Girls, Who Dat (Geaux Saints), Tiger Stadium, Dale Brown, the quadrangle....great stuff, huh? Man, I bet we could get together and tell some stories. I'm a Delta Tau Delta dude.

 

I love you man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Jeff

 

So, other than loving Sharkey, how are you doing, Jeff?? Been wondering about you!!

 

Howdy Gardener. You're a sweetheart. I'm still trying to find a way to get scripts. Saw a psych. today at the medical school who really degraded me, put me down, said I was on way too high a dose of K, and that I could taper off 2-3mg of the stuff in less than two months. Next thing I knew, we were face-to-face while I told him NEVER to talk to me or ANY patient like that ever again. He kept trying to interrupt me with his German accent and condescending tone. He was definitely the biggest jerk I've ever met in my life. I told him that it was HIS wonderful industry that put me on "too much K" to begin with, and thank you very much. His wonderful industry was fast to put me on the stuff, but was useless when it came to actually caring about people and helping me/them get off the poison that he/they prescribed. I also told him to say "hello" to Hitler when he dies.

 

Sorry, but I was ticked. Uh, I didn't get a script.

 

Next!!

 

Oh, Jeff, I am so sorry. I was so hoping for better news. I can understand your feeling angry and frustrated. I would have been face to fact with him too! You can absolutely file a complaint with a supervisory staff person or even if he is credentialed, with his credentialing board. When I saw the "ass" who was so degrading and discouraging to me, I used it as a motivator to say, I WILL get off this stuff, and then send him a card when I'm done!! If all else fails maybe try to contact Stuart Shipko via his website/email and see if there is someone local to you he knows of. Otherwise, keep on truckin', on to the next, and think of how good you will feel when you are free of all of this crap!

Still watching, and still sending good vibes,

Sydney

 

Yes, I'm doing that, Sydney (contacting him about someone in my area). Something has to shake loose soon!

 

Thanks a ton for your encouragement.

 

Have a super and blessed day!

 

Jeff