Exercise support group

[[MT...]]

I'm at a conference until Sunday afternoon and missing exercising. I'm in workshops all day and I'm so exhausted. Just sitting in the workshops feels like running a marathon. No significant sleep for the last 2 nights. Ahhhhhhhhh!

 

It can be so difficult to know how hard to push ourselves during this recovery. I hear most of you struggling with that as well. There's this part of me that feels bad that I'm not dragging myself to exercise while here but I think it's unrealistic.

[Guest [va...]]

Jim, some wise person told me on this forum that even when we feel our worst we are healing. It's so true because you are here and you are taking steps forward even though it may not feel that way. Remember Benzo healing is not linear and this will pass.

 

AF it's nice to hear from you! Hope you have a wonderful weekend too!

 

MT, you get a pass from me not to exercise  .

 

Hugs 

VG

[[no...]]

Hi all  Well its an official personal observation that  in my case,  any exercise is out of the question as my already over excited CNS is getting more damaged than helped at this stage by trying any exertion, even typing is agony  . 

 

And  although exercise  will help the brain, its also known at this stage to be unhelpful and adding to an already damaged over worked CNS and one days short slow walk takes a way more day's of incapacitated agony, rendering any benefits the walk may have to zero and spending even more time unable to move or function. 

 

Its no good trying to piss in to the wind when you know exactly which way the winds blowing, and I'm a trained athlete and used to going through the pain barrier, but I also know which boundaries are dangerous to push just the same. 

 

There is pushing on but there is also punishing and harming  your body by not listening to it properly and being still is just as imperative as moving, after all its two sides of the same coin where healing and your  health and welfare is involved

 

And at the end of the day it takes what is takes and I'm proceeding in which ever direction is applicable at the time. And Its healing in all its shapes and facets after all, feeling bad is a part of getting better as much as feeling good is. 

 

Nova xxxx  :smitten:

[[Sa...]]

Nova, was just getting ready to post, I've been awol for a few days, listen, we all understand. This is a very frustrating and tedious journey. We do the best we can, when we can. Don't get discouraged, ok  oops, have to get ready for work...one day at a time everyone 

[[La...]]

Hello my friends. Hope you're having a better day VG and thank you for the encouraging words. It was a little late for me to get to bed, being it was almost 1:00. I didn't wake up until 5:30 though and that's nice. I did wake up with mild anxiety, which I still have. I am spacey right now and didn't notice it until I began typing. I don't feel all the panic I have had, only a mild amount that's tolerable. My body temp is up and I do feel warm, almost hot. Am trying not to think, so I'll remain more clam.

[[Al...]]

Good morning everyone. I want to post a POSITIVE success story from a cancer survivor. Everyone heals in time. Stay positive and please believe in this.

This week has been 6 months since jumping off klonopin. It is 4 months since I ct off my other 3 Rx's (Vicodin, Gabapentin, Welbutrin). I want to celebrate and try to give encouragement to those who read this. I will tell you what symptoms I've had and how they are better.

 

I feel like I am 40% healed. This has been the most brutal, horrendous journey I've ever had to go through!!!! It has been sheer torture, especially the long nights with severe insomnia. You all know this yourselves!!! I have had a lot of symptoms - like most of you.

 

But, I can see light at the end of the tunnel. I see more & more improvements beginning to happen.

 

I posted my 5 month Celebration Story and here is the link which explains a lot of my history & symptoms initially and things I have done which have helped me survive!

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=123362.0

 

Now, I am at 6 months and I feel like healing has progressed. I see improvements in my symptoms from even 1 month ago. Sleep is my most improved area!

 

I hope this post helps some of you. I read the Success Stories and Celebrations from others and I hang on every word, hoping that all this will go away soon. Hope is so important. Hang onto hope. Pray, meditate, visualize a healthy you, dream, believe, keep hoping that you will heal and have a better life. Keep reading the Success Stories of others. Post your own celebration as you see improvement. It is easy to lament, but BUT EVERYONE - PLEASE take time to post on the celebration forum when you see some success or improvement - we need to read more celebrations & success stories. The other forum for the Success Stories is when you are completely healed and these are wonderful stories, but then we usually don't hear from these people again. It is so important to keep coming back and posting how you have improved or completely healed. It helps all of  us. So remember to post often. Let's keep encouraging each other!!!

 

These have been my symptoms:

- Severe Insomnia for 7 months!! This week I have begun to sleep much deeper and longer. I still wake up every hour or so (at the end of a sleep cycle), but now I'm able to go back to sleep. I still have 1-2 hours of wake time around 3am or 4am, but eventually go back to sleep until 7:30am. This is so much better than the 1-3 hours of sleep/dozing that I did the previous months. I am learning to meditate at night and not worry about anything. Someone posted about saying to yourself: "Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better!" I am a person of faith, so I always add: "Thank you, Lord." I believe this has helped me with racing, obsessive & worry thoughts in the middle of the night. This has been a discipline that I have had to learn, instead of taking a pill in order to sleep. 

 

- Depression:  Mostly gone now! This was the darkest, surreal, Dali like depression. I never have had such awful depression. At times, I felt like I was in a Dali painting!!! I went through a depression years ago after I had breast cancer and have felt blue at times. But nothing can compare to this depression!!!  Remember my fellow BB's - this is NOT REAL! It is your brain trying to heal. It will get better. I still have bouts of a blue feeling now - but nothing like the deep, dark depression I felt during the first few months after going cold turkey off all my other Rx's. Basically, this was so bad during the first 4 months. Read my Signature, as I was poly drugged and I'm dealing with multiple withdrawals. It was bad during the holidays also. (But, my uncle died, my adult children weren't home for the first time ever, I've been in this benzo/drug hell that I thought would never get better. So, the holidays were very rough!!).

 

- Light/Dark Sensitivity: This is my worst symptom remaining. Bright lights, the sun, the fluorescent lights in my house & in stores + dark, rainy days - all seriously bother me. I can't spend much time on the computer, as the computer screen causes such a neuromuscular reaction around my eyes. My facial muscles tense up and cause a muscular tension ache around my eyes & back of my neck. ALSO, when it is dark and rainy, or early morning. This really affects me. However, the dark sensitivity is getting better. It feels like my eyes & perception are severely altered! I don't know how to explain it. I wear yellow clip-ons over my glasses now to do computer work and watch TV. The blue lights really affect me!  This is so debilitating!!!

 

Anyone else have this light/dark sensitivity problem?

 

- Stunned Brain Feeling: I think this is DP/DR?? I don't feel like I'm myself. This is still a problem for me - but slightly better. I have more and more days where this seems to clear up in the afternoon and evening. I walk/jog/exercise every afternoon for 40 minutes to 1.5 hours and I ALWAYS feel better after exercise. Now, I'm going to the gym & exercise with some of the equipment - up to an hour & half. i actually will feel "normal" for a while after this. Maybe it's the endorphins.

 

- Loss of Emotion. I feel nothing now. I cried a lot in Acute. But now, I really don't feel God or my love for others nearly as much. I've read posts by others that this will come back.

This post helped me a lot my RiverWolf:  http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=112420.0

 

- Cog/Fog/Memory Problems:  Better than 1 month ago even! I've had trouble with focusing. I can't read. I've barely been able to get the bare minimum done in home management, like paying bills. I've made some costly mistakes! This is getting better also. I still need improvement, but I'm seem to be able to do a few more  things with paying bills and home management type activities without making big mistakes like I did in the first 4 months

 

- Internal Vibration, jerks, pins & needle sensations, burning in my extremities: This is mostly gone now. It went away just in the past few weeks. Initially, I would just doze off to sleep and then I would jerk awake! When I did go to sleep, I would wake every hour at the end of a sleep cycle and it was this internal vibration (like a motor) in the trunk of my body that would wake me!! Torture!! I also have had the pins & needles & burning sensation that wake me! The internal vibration has subsided somewhat. I don't jerk when I fall asleep now - praise God in Heaven! I sometimes still have pins & needles sensation, but not often and it is not really bothersome any longer. I don't have the burning sensation in my extremities any longer either.

 

- Restless Leg Syndrome & the need to move! GONE!! This was so awful in the first 3 months. It began to subside in November. I had to walk 3 times a day!!!  I also learned relaxation yoga. I  streamed a Beginner's Yoga from Amazon Prime and would do this  in the middle of the night when I couldn't move and I HAD TO MOVE!!! Such torture. I  would fall asleep on my yoga mat! This is all better. I don't have that urge to move any longer, but I still MUST walk/jog for 30 to 40 minutes every day as I have learned this helps me feel better.

 

- Lethargy/No desire to do anything: This is getting better. I feel much stronger, as I was forced to walk 3 times a day in the beginning because of restless leg syndrome and extreme need to move in the first 3 months as I was going through withdrawal. I am much stronger now because of exercise. I've never been the type to exercise, but walking/jogging & yoga are new healthy habits! I do the Yoga in the morning when I first wake, as this helps with stiffness. When I was in acute, I couldn't drive or get out to do anything. I didn't fear going out - I just didn't want to. It was weird. This is getting better & I'm getting out more &  more. Initially, I had to force myself. Now, I'm beginning to feel a little desire to do a few things.

 

- Tinnitus: This started about 2 months ago. It's not bad compared to my other symptoms. I guess I can live with this.

 

- Weight Loss: I lost 12 pounds and was so skinny. Then, I became so hungry and started eating every few hours. I actually craved all the good foods. I learned to eat "brain foods" like walnuts & almonds, lots of vegetables & fruits. Protein for the brain, like eggs! I've gained most of my weight back now.

 

I think that TIME is the biggest healer. Also, keep telling yourself that what you are feeling and thinking is NOT real!!! Our perceptions are distorted. I kept thinking this is permanent & worried so much in the beginning. I keep saying: "Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better." Speak truth to your brain. Tell your brain to quit worrying & stressing about all this benzo withdrawal. Thinking positively and not entertaining negative thoughts slowly helped me. This is a new discipline for me!!

 

I feel like my faith and prayers have given me hope & have helped me to find the things that have helped my brain to heal more quickly. I have read & printed Success Stories from this website every day. I read & reread some of Success Stories each night before bed. I then read scripture, pray, & meditate. I've gone to prayer services. (I have always been a private person, but I've been so desperate for help, that I went for prayer at a Healing Service!) I was so amazed when the worst of the depression lifted after I was prayed for. Truly amazing!! Thank you, God, and BB's for HOPE!!!

 

THIS IS A CHEMICAL BRAIN INJURY. I've read a few books on brain health. Our brains need oxygen. I think exercise, good nutrition, yoga, deep breathing, & pushing in daily activities, have all helped me. I never use to exercise or do yoga. Now, I do. I am a new & different person with good, healthy habits now. There were times in ACUTE that I could hardly move! Believe me, I know how hard it is!! I had some kind of restless leg syndrome which FORCED me to walk 3 times a day. Plus, a dog that needed to be walked. But SLOWLY, I've increased my walking to a little jogging. Then, I  started going to the gym and added weights & other exercise equipment. I felt better as I slowly began to accomplish one thing each day.

This is a post by Parker who is a Speech Pathologist & she explains a lot about what is Happening to your Brain:

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=66397.0

 

I started streaming yoga from Amazon Prime in the  middle of the night when I couldn't sleep & paced the floor & had  to move - this horrible, incessant need to move!!! Torture!!! All gone now. I still  do Yoga when I first  wake up instead of drinking coffee.

 

I eat so much healthier now. Good nutrition & supplements - lots of veggies & fruit & protein for the brain. I have cut back on carbs and NO  SUGAR!!  I don't even crave sugar!! It's amazing how we instinctively KNOW not  to  eat foods that jack our CNS system up!!! So weird! I have learned to be VERY CAREFUL with supplements. I believe supplements are helpful, but I can't take B supplements - it will aggravate my symptoms & wire me. I take half of a multi vitamin, Omega 3 for the brain. (Our brains need the good fats to protect & heal.) Vit. D to help with depression. 5HTP at night - this is an amino acid that is the precursor to serotonin, which helps depression & calms. Tart cherry at night, which helps sleep. It is a precursor to melatonin. Phosphatidyl Serine which makes me sleepy. It helps brain health. Rhodiola Rosea which helps with mood.

 

I've gone to a chiropractor/holistic Dr. three times a week for 3 months now. The philosophy is that if our spines are straight & adjusted well, then our brain & central nervous system will heal, as the nerves supply every organ in our body.

 

I will say, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in the year 2000 and this is why I was put on these Rx's in the  first place!!! I have hurt all through the years. Muscle aches, joint aches, back aches, fatigue, interstitial cystitis (a painful bladder condition). NOW, I don't hurt from my neck down!!! I think the Rx's were CAUSING my pain & symptoms!!

 

I saw a neurologist this week. He confirmed what I've already learned. Our GABA receptors and other receptors he said, need to regrow. He said it takes a long time - 18 months on average. He said this is like a brain injury. He talked about eating the good type of fats and taking Omega 3 supplements.

 

I hope this encourages everyone.

Hang in there.

Have Hope, Dream & BELIEVE that you will heal.

 

[[Al...]]

This is a great article about Serotonin, sleep, depression and exercise. We need Serotonin in order for our Gaba to heal.

 

Stay positive:)

Fran

 

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2077351/

[Guest [va...]]

Hi all  Well its an official personal observation that  in my case,  any exercise is out of the question as my already over excited CNS is getting more damaged than helped at this stage by trying any exertion, even typing is agony  . 

 

And  although exercise  will help the brain, its also known at this stage to be unhelpful and adding to an already damaged over worked CNS and one days short slow walk takes a way more day's of incapacitated agony, rendering any benefits the walk may have to zero and spending even more time unable to move or function. 

 

Its no good trying to piss in to the wind when you know exactly which way the winds blowing, and I'm a trained athlete and used to going through the pain barrier, but I also know which boundaries are dangerous to push just the same. 

 

There is pushing on but there is also punishing and harming  your body by not listening to it properly and being still is just as imperative as moving, after all its two sides of the same coin where healing and your  health and welfare is involved

 

And at the end of the day it takes what is takes and I'm proceeding in which ever direction is applicable at the time. And Its healing in all its shapes and facets after all, feeling bad is a part of getting better as much as feeling good is. 

 

Nova xxxx  :smitten:

 

 

Nova, I'm so on the same page as you! I was never a pro athlete but I rode and trained with them so I too have pushed through the pain barrier.. I too am having negative effects from working out, walking and even typing. Im happy you are taking care of yourself and not feeling pressured. I read exercise in some cases can do more harm then good for some. Heal up my friend and one day you will kick ass again 

[[MT...]]

Thanks for sharing the story, Fran. Very positive.

 

I appreciate that this thread is a safe place to share our victories as well as vent about the difficult spots. I like that we are supporting each other in both exercise and listening to our bodies when they can't. This is respect and we all need and deserve it! I'm glad again to be a part of this.

[Guest [va...]]

This is a great article about Serotonin, sleep, depression and exercise. We need Serotonin in order for our Gaba to heal.

 

Stay positive:)

Fran

 

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2077351/

 

Thank you Frans for sharing your story. You have been through a lot. Right now exercise is out of the question. I'm having a racing heart, sever fatigue, and a whole tossed salad of sxs's that just get worse with exercise. You are one in a million to be such a success in such a short time. Keep up the good work sweet lady  .

VG

[[MT...]]

VG, I'm sorry to hear about your current misery. I hope you find relief very soon. Be gentle with yourself.

 

Katie

[Guest [va...]]

VG, I'm sorry to hear about your current misery. I hope you find relief very soon. Be gentle with yourself.

 

Katie

 

Thank you MT. This too shall pass  .

VG

[[Al...]]

Valley Girl-I'm sending you a BIG hug and I know that you are going to get better real soon.

 

One day at a time.

XO Fran

 

 

[[Ki...]]

Just got back from a moderately paced walk, 15 minutes. On Monday I start 20 min walks. I'm kind of a big deal 

[[Wo...]]

Almost forgot to check in! Got my surf in today at good ole' "3 Mile." It was sunny and beautiful. Forgot about WD for a little while. Still wavy though. Palps are bad and not sleeping well. The usual.

 

Take care everybody, and keep up the good work!

[[La...]]

Went out surfing yesterday, not at the usual spots, as the live cams were showing some severely pounding surf. Decided to head over to a new spot in Laguna Beach which worked out perfect. After surfing with my oldest daughter, came home and took the younger one out swimming/diving at the pool. By the end of the day, I was so tired, I fell asleep right after dinenr on the couch and ending up sleeping close to 11 hours. Thats unprecedented for me in this land of benzo recovery.

 

[[Ju...]]

From your experience, does exercise (Pilates, in particular) improve the weak muscles from benzo withdrawal?

[[ni...]]

I hate you guys that are close enough to a beach to surf  I will not set one foot in the Oregon coast waters, to many

Great Whites.  I am spoiled with Hawaii waters 

 

I went mountain biking 8 miles with my wife yesterday just on the streets.  We might hit some trails today 

 

Ninj 

[[Al...]]

Juliana2014-Lifting weights and using machines are the best for weak muscles.

[[dr...]]

Well fellow buddies...I got laid up w the migraine on Friday and felt wonky the past two days but I did manage a brisk two mile walk just now.  Beautiful sunny 70 degrees. 

 

I'm not posting much since I'm trying to lay off being obsessed w my symptoms.  The threads here keep me focused on what's wrong with me a lot of the time.  Just trying to have total acceptance of my situation and the faith I will heal.  Just know I'm supporting you all as best I can. 

[[Wo...]]

Ninja-I've heard Oregon has some of the best surf on our whole coast! I think Seaside is the place I've heard about, but it's supposedly very localized so I would get heckled out of the water, being from CA

 

 

[[MT...]]

Drew, I'm sorry to hear about your migraine. They really suck so I hope you feel much better soon.

 

I'd like to celebrate making it through my 4 day conference with a 5 hour drive both ways. While I couldn't formally exercise I took the stairs a lot and had to be on the go every day which was a stretch and a confidence builder.

 

Even though I felt tired when I got home I walked for 80 minutes in the beautiful spring weather and that felt like a huge accomplishment. I'm feeling like I'm going to make it. That it won't be easy but if I could do the conference and my week in Seattle a couple of weeks ago in wd, I can do just about anything...just like all of you. Wd resets the bar!

[[Ki...]]

Wow MT! That's a great accomplishment.

 

I just finished my 15 minute walk. My pace is really picking up and I've been having zero uptick in sx. That's great news for me as the last time I started to try and exercise I would get really revved up and dizzy/floaty boaty. Tomorrow I increase the time to 20 minutes 

[[MT...]]

Hooray for you Kiddo. You're doing great!

[[Al...]]

MTFAN you are going to make it!! I'm so proud of you. Please keep telling yourself two things:

 

1. Once you stop swallowing a benzo you are officially healing.

2. Once you get through a benzo recovery you can do anything and you can conquer the world!!

 

Stay positive!! Positivity helps the healing process.

Fran