Eastcoast's Trip

[[sp...]]

East!

 

How great to read this...and how shocking to have your complete story.

 

You came through Hell, and whether you know it or not, some of us you pulled along with you. I can never thank you enough for the many posts you made here that gave me hope.

 

I miss you every day...but I'm glad you're living elsewhere.

 

You are a star.

 

Be happy,

 

Love, spartacus

[[Ai...]]

Thank you for posting your tough experience.  So happy to know you are so much better!

[[In...]]

Eastcoast Annie!

 

This is one of the best things I've read here on BB in months. You were one of the first people to welcome me here and help me during my acute w/d phase and beyond. So many message threads to pass the time, reassure and distract distract distract. Looks like you are just shy of 2 years, so this give me wonderful hope that my stubborn DR and other stuff will fall melt away in the coming months.

 

Enjoy your cats, new life and all the wonderful things around you. Thanks for coming back and sharing such great news 

[[ov...]]

East Coast:  Thanks so much for your story and your success.  It definitely gives me hope!

xo OC 

[[pr...]]

Eastcoast (((((Annie)))))

 

i had thought i had seen a few posts from you just recently. so good to see you back here and what a story you have! thank you for coming back to write your success story! i think we both have a similiar time but i still feel acute sometimes. i am still mostly bed ridden although i do feel i am healing albeit painfully slow. i have finally had a little shift in symptoms in the last 2 weeks.

 

i can't believe all that you have endured and really hope the insommia symptom leaves you alone very soon. i wanted to say that i feel the same way about ants and when i had lived in this house there were ants everywhere and all my mother would say to me "don't worry, ants are the cleanest and smartest insects on the Planet"

 

i also wanted to tell you that i rememeber very distinctly the thread you started on the "looping music" and i still have the looping music going on that does change sometimes. i notice that when i am in a wave the looping music doesn't appear until the wave breaks. have you ever noticed that?

 

so i hope you an Oreo and Miss Peggy all have a wonderful life filled with freedom! and tell those two to start getting along because they're gonna spend a long time together and with you!

 

Love, Pretty

[[ea...]]

Pretty,  never had waves or windows. For me it was all one very slow, gradual process. But Im SO tired of that stupid music in my mind! Its downright weird. I suspect its some sort of obsessive thing (I have a very obsessive-compulsive type personality) (and an addictive one. I think they go together!)

Ants may be clean but that doesn't make them welcome in my place! I even get "creepy" when I see them outside.

 

 

 

Symptoms:

Forgot a couple. Eye floaters. Which have gotten somewhat better now. My sense of smell was off. Things smelled disgusting, even things which normally smell good to me. My hearing was extremely acute for months. In fact, ALL my senses were super-acute for a long, long time.

 

I had inner vibrations, though this didn't happen often.

 

Cramps of fingers and toes, painful ones. Though I did find out this can result from anemia. I wasn't THAT anemic, however, so I suspect they were withdrawal.

 

More later.

east

[[ec...]]

Hi Eastcoast,I have been periodically coming here hoping to read your success story.I remember your struggle,and I'm happy for you,we have been through an ordeal that only US who have been though it will ever fully understand.Take very good care of yourself.

[[pr...]]

east,

 

i had read somewhere on here that the looping music was a neurological injury type of thing. another buddies said something like that which makes sense. so don't think it's only because of obsessive personality. i have three eye floaters in my left eye that are getting better but still there floating around. annoying!

 

oh and i wanted to tell you that when i would go for my walks i would visit with the hummingbirds and they would parade and zip all around me and perform their show in this fountain with running water. it was so unbelievably adorable when they would bathe themselves. especially when they would wash their little cheeks. they would dip their head down and turn their cheek and put it on the stone that was wet and wash their little cheeks. they must be seasonal because i don't see them lately

 

pretty

[[Ga...]]

hi Annie!

 

congratulations and glad youre enjoying things now. i feed squirrels and birds, too. ive got a real life animal sanctuary here lol

 

ive got once a yr tiny ants here now. i thought of you. 

 

i hope you keep on improving.

[[li...]]

Hello there East coast  Annie!  So happy to see your success story! I know it was a long time coming!

I want to thank you for being the first to welcome me to this site, you helped me a lot, and of course we have a friendship as well. I am soooo happy for you that you can finally put this behind you and continue on with the rest of your life! You have your cats and your outside " pets", and a new zest for life! I can " hear" your excitement ! And your deserve it!

 

I wish you nothing but the very very best my dear friend ! Keep healthy, keep healing!

Glad to see you are back here to offer this much needed support!

 

I love you !  Congrats on your success !!  little m

[[ea...]]

Gard, you made me laugh! The freaking ants!!!!! I have them here, too, but not as many as I did in my old house. And now, the landlord pays an exterminator (not that they do any good!)

 

Pretty, I AM an obsessive/compulsive type personality. Not the handwashing type...but I tend to do many things in a compulsive fashion. Including bad habits, like smoking, drinking, eating, doing pills. So, in my case, the looping music COULD be from this. I don't know. I did some basic research into this symptom months ago and yes, it can be a neurological thing. But it can also NOT be. I no longer blame every symptom on benzos. Im not young. Im 64, and have some serious health issues......several of which could be causing certain symptoms. I have burning mouth, itching gums....and that could be from anemia. No way to tell. Its uncomfortable, I do know that!

 

HI MARE! Pretty lady!!!! As I write, Oreo is lying on the floor, like a small black and white piece of modern art. Peggy is on the sofa, grooming herself as usual. She's one clean little kitty. Oreo is a slob!

Annie

[[ca...]]

Hey EC,

 

I listened to a radio program on NPR a while back about "looping music".

A man had it for a long time..they did not know why.

It does go away.

In your case I strongly believe that the looping music was caused by Benzo's and will eventually go away. It was on Radio Lab...http://www.radiolab.org/story/91630-earworms/

 

The burning tongue and itching gums are from Benzo's too..I never had it before, I am not in bad shape physically, well I wasn't when this first started...I am not in good shape now, but as soon as I am no longer having anymore symptoms, I plan on getting into the best physical shape I have ever been in before as an adult.

 

People that have gone before us have said they got better, wrote a success story and then they got even better.

They usually come back and add to their success stories that they got even better.

I hope that happens to you too...I think at 2 years you will come back and write that you are even better.

 

Love and healing to you all,

Causing

 

[[...]]

What a courageous battle you fought...and you made it!  Congratulations to you on your new life. 

[[pr...]]

Pretty, I AM an obsessive/compulsive type personality. Not the handwashing type...but I tend to do many things in a compulsive fashion. Including bad habits, like smoking, drinking, eating, doing pills. So, in my case, the looping music COULD be from this. I don't know. I did some basic research into this symptom months ago and yes, it can be a neurological thing. But it can also NOT be. I no longer blame every symptom on benzos. Im not young. Im 64, and have some serious health issues......several of which could be causing certain symptoms. I have burning mouth, itching gums....and that could be from anemia. No way to tell. Its uncomfortable, I do know that!

 

you may be right that the looping music may not be from benzo entirely. i am a musician and i think i've had the looping music go on all the time. but i don't think it was from things like sitcom jingles and other jingles. i think that will go away at some point, at least i hope it will and just put the songs i am either working on myself or other good stuff to loop on if you know what i mean.

[[Bi...]]

Dear East,

Thank you for sharing your struggle and for posting a success story.  Your posts have helped us a lot and we have grown to feel a bond with you.  Age86 really feels sorry for you because you really have suffered.  Please continue to come back and update us.

-Age86 and his caregiver

[[ea...]]

Causing, itching, burning gums can also be caused by anemia. Which I have! We cannot blame everything on the benzos. Im waiting to hear if my anemia labs were bad.

 

Looping music.....yes, Im familiar with it being a neurological symptom. Have you read Oliver Sacks books? Good stuff! Makes us seem downright normal!

 

Symptoms:

 

Forgot a big one; Nightsweats. Oh my, I had this one so bad, for several months. Id wake up (IF I even slept-) drenched, dripping. Changed my nightie 3-4 times a night. Gross and uncomfortable. That finally went away. I would doze briefly, become alert and be all wet.

 

Another symptom: these were not auditory hallucinations....did some research on it. Its called "Hearing Distortions," and it is neurological in nature. I would turn on my fan and hear, as if in the next room, a radio or TV playing. Like a talk show or news commentator, not a sitcom. Other sounds were distorted. The lawnmowers sounded very loud and somehow ominous. I could hear a conversation going on in the street and hear most words (something I couldn't do before w/d).

 

But by far, that weird and total Terror was my worst symptom. When I say I was afraid of everything, believe it. My dished and cups scared me. My hair scared me. I was afraid to touch anything, Anything. For months I was afraid to use the hairdryer because I was sure ants were gonna crawl on the cord. The sound of my air conditionerwas terrifying, also the fridge. I was afraid of VEGATABLES!!!! NO lie!!

 

When I looked around my house, everything looked drab and dingy...unreal. I guess that was DP/DR.

 

I felt weak, tired and downright crazy for months and months.

 

The only symptom I did not have a problem with was pain. Oh, I had abdominal pain for a few weeks. But nothing I couldn't handle. I know some people have serious pain during w/d. How awful.

[[ea...]]

I need to let off steam about something, so here goes.

My neighbor is a nice woman, but she is always groggy from her many pain pills. (She has a legit pain problem.) She also takes Xanax, although she says rarely. Also Soma. And who knows what else.

She forgets what she's told me, even from that morning . I hear the same stories over and over. She lives with her son, a 23 year old man, Basically, he supports her, altho she does get a SSD check.

She doesn't listen to what Im talking about, and wouldn't remember even if she did. She interrupts me to carry on whatever thing she is thinking about.

Her apartment is filthy and filled to the brim with crap she cannot part with.....things like ancient photographs, old paperwork. Her dad was a painter and she has maybe 15 of his large paintings but most aren't on the walls. She complains because her mother was a hoarder!

She bitched that her dogs were eating the peanut shells (I give the squirrels peanuts every day.) So now I shell the damn things. She yells at her dog, his dog, and her two cats. That bothers me a great deal....saying "Goodamn it" to an animal is so stupid! No wonder her animals are poorly behaved.

But right now Im pissed over something else. I went to some trouble to allow them to "borrow" my WIFI. In fact, a lot of trouble. They were supposed to pay me $20 today, and they haven't. When I see them, I will say something. But I have a bad feeling that EVERY month Ill have to remind them several times. NOT fair!

Okay, I got myself into this, with my need to please people. I know that. But still....a debt is a debt. She always bitches that her son doesn't pay bill on time. Well, this is a bill.

I resent having to shell the peanuts. But I also agree that it was makng a mess of the yard in back. And by shelling them, I have more to give the little guys.

Last week, her son hadn't paid the electric bill in several months. She was griping about it and stated that she'd do without electricity and water, because she was tired of nagging him. Come on! This is Florida! Its hot as hell, and ya need water to survive. Trying flushing your toilet without it, please.

Okay Im done griping. Bitch bitch bitch, Miss Ann.

Made me feel a bit better, but I don't like to do it.

[[Bi...]]

Easty, I remember how bad you were way back then.  You thought there was no hope back then.  Now you have hope.  Beautiful

 

Hugs Birdie :smitten:

[[Ga...]]

I need to let off steam about something, so here goes.

My neighbor is a nice woman, but she is always groggy from her many pain pills. (She has a legit pain problem.) She also takes Xanax, although she says rarely. Also Soma. And who knows what else.

She forgets what she's told me, even from that morning . I hear the same stories over and over. She lives with her son, a 23 year old man, Basically, he supports her, altho she does get a SSD check.

She doesn't listen to what Im talking about, and wouldn't remember even if she did. She interrupts me to carry on whatever thing she is thinking about.

Her apartment is filthy and filled to the brim with crap she cannot part with.....things like ancient photographs, old paperwork. Her dad was a painter and she has maybe 15 of his large paintings but most aren't on the walls. She complains because her mother was a hoarder!

She bitched that her dogs were eating the peanut shells (I give the squirrels peanuts every day.) So now I shell the damn things. She yells at her dog, his dog, and her two cats. That bothers me a great deal....saying "Goodamn it" to an animal is so stupid! No wonder her animals are poorly behaved.

But right now Im pissed over something else. I went to some trouble to allow them to "borrow" my WIFI. In fact, a lot of trouble. They were supposed to pay me $20 today, and they haven't. When I see them, I will say something. But I have a bad feeling that EVERY month Ill have to remind them several times. NOT fair!

Okay, I got myself into this, with my need to please people. I know that. But still....a debt is a debt. She always bitches that her son doesn't pay bill on time. Well, this is a bill.

I resent having to shell the peanuts. But I also agree that it was makng a mess of the yard in back. And by shelling them, I have more to give the little guys.

Last week, her son hadn't paid the electric bill in several months. She was griping about it and stated that she'd do without electricity and water, because she was tired of nagging him. Come on! This is Florida! Its hot as hell, and ya need water to survive. Trying flushing your toilet without it, please.

Okay Im done griping. Bitch bitch bitch, Miss Ann.

Made me feel a bit better, but I don't like to do it.

 

you have a right to bitch.

 

sounds like she's taking advantage.

you might have to kep reminding her til she pays up.

 

i have a frind with a beautiful 2 story house. she's a hoarder. over the yrs its gotten worse.

the house is stuffed

[[be...]]

Aww man this really made my day. I was on here along with you when I was going through my benzo hell and to see you heal makes my day.  I deserve it we all been through a lot and I tell u no one will ever understand unless they go through this. We are the strongest individuals in the world if we can go through this they have no idea.

[[pr...]]

wow annie! your neighbor sounds like a deusy

 

i don't like anyone yelling at animals. i think that's abuse.

[[be...]]

Thank you for all that you have shared.

 

SO GLAD to hear that you can read again !! You might enjoy "The Abandoned" by Paul Gallico it is a "cat themed" story.

 

You have been through so much and now you are a HUGE encouragement !!

[[fl...]]

Thank you very much for your post Eastcoast 62

You are giving me hope

flavio

[[ea...]]

Flavio, there is always hope. Never give up. Don't let the benzos beat you.

 

 

Have been quite ill with bronchitis. Cant sleep lying flat, but cant sleep anyway so.....Finally gave in and saw a PA at a walk in clinic. He started me on steroids, antibiotic and an inhaler. I am starting to feel better but still also feel like crap. Grouchy and constantly coughing, blowing my nose.

 

Had to change my apt with a neuro doc until August due to lack of money. And that's because of spending about $200 on this bronchitis. God, I hate being poor.

 

I want to sit here and bitch and moan about things, but I think I'll resist. Doing that can really demoralize ya!

Annie

[[Co...]]

^  How you doin' today, east?  Feeling any better yet?

 

Luke