Had colonoscopy on Monday & Versed (benzo) was used... strange experience

[[La...]]

Thanks for the help everyone.  It's greatly appreciated.  I'm having a rough patch and tend not to post when I'm not doing too well.  Just wanted to say hi and that you all are always in my thougts and prayers.  I think I need to start a blog. 

 

Love,

Lyd

[[Pa...]]

Hi Lyd,

 

I've got just the place for you to go to start your blog, just give it a name and go!  http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?board=88.0  Tell us what's going on, we're good listeners.   

 

We're here and we want to help you; after all that's what we're here for. 

 

Pam

[[ad...]]

Hi layla,

 

I'm so sorry about your rough patch.  I'm often thinking of you, and wondering how you're doing.  And worry! 

 

I waited a long time before starting a blog, figuring I should feel better.  Then one day I decided to write when I felt really bad, and it kinda helped.  So I try to keep that in mind these days. 

 

I'll look forward to reading your blog!!!! 

 

adelia

[[La...]]

Hi Adelia,

 

Thanks so much for always being there.  I really appreciate all the suggestions you gave me about scheduling things every day.  I know this would help me as it's helped you.  To be honest with you, I lack motivation.  I didn't used to be like this but I know during the times when I'm having a good window and I keep busy I feel so much better mentally.  My thoughts really get me in trouble.  For a good while there, I was not allowing myself to think negative thoughts and was replacing them with positive ones.  Then I crashed and the negative thinking (mostly scarey things about what "could happen" in the future) took over.  I guess my Gaba receptors are still healing and sometimes they just GO BANG.  It's really something how these benzos screw with your thinking.  I'm feeling better the past couple of days and I definately feel A LOT better that I did a while back.  I'm just not going to let myself get totally devastated by these setbacks as this will only hinder the healing process.  Do you think lack of motivation is benzo related?  I sure hope so because I don't want to be a lazy person.

 

Lyd

 

 

[[Pa...]]

It seems like when we let our guard down for just a second the bad stuff rages in.  I'm glad you've recognized it for what it is, withdrawals.  Your motivation has absolutely been stolen by benzo's, as you said you have it when you have a window.

 

Will you start a blog, or maybe we could go back to your old thread.  It feels weird visiting you in a colonoscopy thread, it makes my butt pucker. 

[[La...]]

Hi Pam,  I'll start a blog.  Enough of this colon blow-thread.

 

Love,

Lyd

[[Pa...]]

Hi Pam,  I'll start a blog.  Enough of this colon blow-thread.

 

Love,

Lyd

 

:yippee: :

[[ad...]]

hey Lyd, can't wait to read your blog.  But I've enjoyed this "gutty" thread....

 

adelia

[[ad...]]

Hi Adelia,

 

Thanks so much for always being there.  I really appreciate all the suggestions you gave me about scheduling things every day.  I know this would help me as it's helped you.  To be honest with you, I lack motivation.  I didn't used to be like this but I know during the times when I'm having a good window and I keep busy I feel so much better mentally.  My thoughts really get me in trouble.  For a good while there, I was not allowing myself to think negative thoughts and was replacing them with positive ones.  Then I crashed and the negative thinking (mostly scarey things about what "could happen" in the future) took over.  I guess my Gaba receptors are still healing and sometimes they just GO BANG.  It's really something how these benzos screw with your thinking.  I'm feeling better the past couple of days and I definately feel A LOT better that I did a while back.  I'm just not going to let myself get totally devastated by these setbacks as this will only hinder the healing process.  Do you think lack of motivation is benzo related?  I sure hope so because I don't want to be a lazy person.

 

Lyd

 

 

[/quot

 

Yes, I definitely think lack of motivation is benzo-related.  Mostly because the body is healing.  And sometimes, it's doing LOTS of healing.  So how can we be motivated to do much else when our bodies are so darn busy just trying to get all the chemicals and systems back in balance....somehow?  I think for us to expect us to be productive somehow is not only unrealistic, but kind of crazy making.  I do it though, and then I suffer for it.  For thinking I somehow must be DOING something great, somehow. 

 

I think that's why the advice to "baby ourselves" is good.  To be honest Lyd, I only "schedulize" myself because I live alone....I need to.  That's just a physical way for me to keep my thoughts positive, as you say.  If I just let myself drift around, all day long (though sometimes I do, and certainly for some parts of everyday I do), then my thoughts would start to follow.  And conveniently, the benzo symptoms don't really allow me to rest, wallow, or drift.  There's too much hyperness going on.  Have to keep moving to distract myself. 

 

So, shall we agree to be lazy and unmotivated?  If you will, I will!!!!! 

adelia

 

Sorry about the weird quote here...