Z-Drug Support Group (Lunesta, Imovane, Zimovane, Ambien, Sonata, Zopiclone)

[[Li...]]

Deanna! Congratulations  from Holland.    very good!

[[Tw...]]

 

Happy Anniversary Deanna 

One night at time when its difficult, easy, and  everything in between.

[[De...]]

Thank you all (and good to hear from you Jerry!) for your good wishes on my 1-year milestone off the drug.  I've said before it is both the longest and shortest year of my life.  I am ready to tackle year 2 but I must say I feel battle weary.  My dedication to a healthy lifestyle is as strong as ever, and I think I am more calm and accepting of my situation (thanks to daily meditation practice), but I am tired.  Not tired like daily fatigue tired.  I am mentally worn out, like when you hammer away at something for a really long time and don't see much progress.

 

Of course I realize that I HAVE made progress.  Indeed I can shop and cook for myself, I can even garden from time to time, but I also have that fear, fear of when I might overdo things and put me into a wave.  The waves are tough even though they are not as tough as acute.  I'm not as physically strong as before.  I feel like I'm aging very quickly, and my inability to exercise consistently really makes recovery seem out of my grasp.

 

But of course I will trudge on.  I know I will recover some day, but it will not be tomorrow I know.  And the number of ppl still suffering on this site after 4 and 5 years is very depressing. 

 

Time for some gratitude:  My good friend is arriving today. She will make me laugh and I will feel better I know.

 

Smooches to All!!!!  One foot in front of the other, there is no other option.

[[Li...]]

Ha zz - people, I am still on hold with my zopiclone taper. I first have to change my brand of other medicatiion I use. Seperately I am very sensitive for these brand changes. We have a mild summer here, temperatures around the 20 degrees. I am very glad for that. My mornings are really tough, but after I went de to the swimming pool, I mentally improve. I watch a lot of the Olympic Games these days. huggs Jerry

[[Ka...]]

Hi Jerry, nice to hear your update! Glad you can go to the pool and sorry for your struggles.

 

Nice to see you here too, Shay.

 

Deanna sorry for yours too ... and LadyD.

 

I'm not sure I grasp if I have windows and waves but I've been struggling also and don't have anything too definite to pinpoint. But Feeling very down after 2 bad nights and using Benadryl. Last night I was so upset that I didn't feel sleepy after 2 very short nights and LOTS of strenuous walking all I could think is I want my pill to put me to sleep. Today I feel depressed, really in a funk...over negative things, over stress, over world situations and the human condition. Maybe this is a wave for me and the window is when I feel hopeful and positive. I'm off ambien, that is true, but not feeling the joy. Sorry to be negative.

 

Twbd1ila, you have the idea, through it all, good, bad and ugly and pretty ... or whatever!

 

Does the world feel like a crazy and intense place now more than ever? I would like a peaceful escape.

[[Tw...]]

Team Z

 

trudging the road to happy destiny keeps going through my mind.  The word trudging fits me well today at least. Progress seems so slow in the moment although I can see the big changes when I look back to February when I was doing 10 to 25 mg a night. My journey began after I wrecked my truck pulling into my driveway. I had been out driving and got food from a minute market. The next morning, I did not remember driving until I saw the right side of my truck bent with mirror broken and all. I was divested  . When I think back to that moment in February 2021, I'm feel GREAT. I remember my nights now, I'm enjoying watching tv with my partner again. We are connecting more since I'm actually present and conscious.

 

Some days, I want someone to give me a big prize for tapering. Its such a big deal to me. I'm feeling a little uneasy about who I'm going to be with out ambien. It was such a huge part of my night. I'm kind of rambling now, but feeling the ambiguity of life.

I'm charting each night the number of hours and the taper amount of ambien each night. Ever so gradually, the number of hours I sleep has actually grown ever so slightly as I've tapered. That has been a pleasant surprise, I hope it continues. I take my normal sleep time herbs as I did with ambien each night.

 

The most impressive thing I've noticed since tapering to 2.5 mg is the lack of pain (interdose withdrawals).  Seriously this was almost crippling when I was on the 10 to 20 mg each night. I thought it was nerve degeneration due to aging. But it was the fucking ambien. My anxiety is about 75 percent better now on 2.5 mg per night. I hope I remember all the pain, anxiety, and trapped feeling I had taking ambien so I can think the drug through. I may enjoy that 15 to 30 minute window after taking ambien, but the cost and pain are to great to validate  an ever decreasing efficacy of the drug which got harder and harder to chase. I also dont have to work three different prescriptions, different doctors, different pharmacies. Wow, what a lot work I went through to have that stupid drug.. 

 

Moving on, i needed to vent a little because the drug still calls to me, but I want to remember the pain, anxiety, and cost to my health as a reminder that i'm on the right path. 

I choose today over my life a few months back.

 

I'm proud of all of us no matter what stage we are at. We are all courageous and we dont have to do this alone !!!

 

[[Be...]]

Where are you LadyDen?  Hope you're alright.

[[Jo...]]

That was beautifully said Twbd1ila. Thank you!

[[Ka...]]

Yes! Excellent write up there Twbd1ila! Me too, cannot believe the pain ... I'm so happy you are doing this and doing so well and love hearing your shares! Thank you. Going from 2.5 down is a different ball game ... it was, obviously, VERY liberating to finally get off ... but then tip toe-ing through such small pieces of pill is odd!

 

I was able to rest a lot yesterday and got a good night sleep so my head is back on correctly today thankfully. That was the only time I really felt an I wish I could just count on sleep and take that pill. There are NONE in the house. But there's nothing like sleep, so restorative and helpful when one must face life each day!!! hahaha, duh!

 

Becks, I heard from LadyDen last night, she's hanging in!

[[He...]]

Hi. I'm new to this group. I wasn't on Ambien but high doses of both Lunesta and Sonata for about 16 or 17 years.  Xanax was part of it but I got off of that several years ago.  I'm two months off of everything now after a very long and slow taper (in other words, I did that part right). At 2 months off, I"m having horrendous head pain and very tight chest.  Has anyone else experienced this?  I am basically not functional 3 or 4 days a week due to this. it's like the most bizarre feelings in my whole head and face and the pain is severe.  The tight chest seems to accompany it. I'd be grateful for any insights or suggestions. I already meditate and eat clean.  Thank you.

[[Ka...]]

Hello HelenHMB,

 

Welcome to our group and congratulations on your slow successful taper. Sorry you're having residual symptoms that are interfering with daily living and causing pain. I hope you'll find answers and support here!

 

I do not have much insight to what you're experiencing---other than asking if you notice any pattern of what might be triggering the worst days, such as less sleep or more stress or more activity??? I don't have many symptoms but do get dizzy the day after I don't sleep well and sometimes get weird creepy crawly sensations that seem related to eating sugar. So, both have cause and effect.

 

Tell us more about what you go through.

 

Kachina

 

 

[[He...]]

KachinaBirdsong, thank you for your kind response.  I get those creepy Crawlies too! I haven't been able to link this with much of anything. My sleep is never great but not usually terrible and it stays mostly consistent. I try to avoid sugar and have a pretty clean diet. Although I do occasionally indulge in a little ice cream! I think shifts in the weather are sometimes a trigger but it's hard to say. It will start out of the blue with sharp head pain, intensify into migraine and the tight chest kicks in. Then my normally low blood pressure spikes up and my arms start tingling and my ears ring louder than usual. This can go on for a few days at a time. It's extremely uncomfortable. I want to think it will stop at some point and am hopeful that at 2 months out maybe it will happen down the road?  Thank you for listening. 

[[De...]]

Hi HelenHMB - As I read your description of your pain pattern it is most certainly different than mine, but in some ways similar.  My pain starts in my left buttocks/hip, then spreads to my leg and will either stay persistent and uncomfortable, or escalate and become nearly unbearable.  It has been a near constant companion in my one year recovery off the drug, but sometimes it disappears for days at a time.  Sometimes I get pain elsewhere (upper back, neck) for several days, but over this entire time this one left sided pain pattern is very ingrained in my nervous system.  I can say that over the year it has morphed a bit and most recently has become more "achy" in nature.  I hope this means it will eventually fade fade away.

 

I think deep down I am fearful of this pain and it is a vicious cycle.  The fear feeds the pain cycle.

[[He...]]

Deanna,

 

Thank you for responding. I'm sorry about your pain.  I get what you are saying about the fear feeding the pain cycle.  For me, it's like this entire phenemonen. I can feel good for a day or so and then bam! A switch flips and my entire nervous system seizes up.  If I didn't know better, I'd think the chest tightness was angina but the cardiologist feels my heart is just fine.  Sigh....hoping both your pain and mine let up as time goes by. Being a year off, it sounds like it is maybe slowly, fading a smidgen.  I was feeling better a month ago and can't figure out why things have gotten so much worse again. I appreciate hearing from you. 

 

Take care.

[[De...]]

Deanna,

 

Thank you for responding. I'm sorry about your pain.  I get what you are saying about the fear feeding the pain cycle.  For me, it's like this entire phenemonen. I can feel good for a day or so and then bam! A switch flips and my entire nervous system seizes up.  If I didn't know better, I'd think the chest tightness was angina but the cardiologist feels my heart is just fine.  Sigh....hoping both your pain and mine let up as time goes by. Being a year off, it sounds like it is maybe slowly, fading a smidgen.  I was feeling better a month ago and can't figure out why things have gotten so much worse again. I appreciate hearing from you. 

 

Take care.

 

Helen - yes I def have stretches where I'm worse again after feeling better...I usually can trace this back to a stress of some sort whether it be physical or emotional.  My nervous system is in charge, not me.

[[He...]]

Deanna, yes, it seems like our nervous systems are leading us around by the nose.  I hope you continue to heal and that nervous system learns to obey YOU. Thanks for chatting.

 

[[La...]]

Hi. I'm new to this group. I wasn't on Ambien but high doses of both Lunesta and Sonata for about 16 or 17 years.  Xanax was part of it but I got off of that several years ago.  I'm two months off of everything now after a very long and slow taper (in other words, I did that part right). At 2 months off, I"m having horrendous head pain and very tight chest.  Has anyone else experienced this?  I am basically not functional 3 or 4 days a week due to this. it's like the most bizarre feelings in my whole head and face and the pain is severe.  The tight chest seems to accompany it. I'd be grateful for any insights or suggestions. I already meditate and eat clean.  Thank you.

Warm welcome to this thread! Welcome to Team Z Deary! What you’re experiencing is normal acute symptoms. Good news is that phase doesn’t last long. A good heating pad or warm water bottle will help with chest tightness. Hope you feel better soon.

TWD thanks for that post. And don’t worry about venting. We ALL do it. This is the place to be free to say hey I feel like crap or I feel better etc. I’m glad you’ve recognized that many of your issues is the Ambien. I had the same thing happened to me as I tapered especially on the low dosages. All those tests and money spent for nothing LOL keep tapering and try not to updose. I’m proud of you!

Becks that’s awfully sweet of you to be concerned about me. You’re such a compassionate BB friend. I’m doing ok. Just working on riding in the car, having a walking schedule, riding waves in between and self care. I have to rebuild my endurance and conditioning. So far riding in the driveway is successful.

Kachina I’m glad to hear that you got some rest. It’s amazing how just a little sleep goes a long way. Thanks for letting Becks know that I’m ok. You’re an example on this thread to others. You tackled your very long Ambien use with such strength. That’s why I admonished you once you finish your taper to do a throw away ceremony. Lol because when it gets rough it’s tempting to go back. If it’s not in your house then you can’t get it. I’m admonishing everyone to do this! Don’t waste all your tapering. Please! Look at those pills as the devil coz that’s what they are! Yes when you’re having better times or breaks in your insomnia those are windows. Trust them because they tell the truth of how you’ll be like new.

Good to hear from you Shay and Jerry! We love y’all! Please don’t be strangers coz we miss you.

Deanna you’ve done great. There’s no reason why we should fear dealing with this. When it’s hard waves we all tend to think it’s permanent or going to be many more years. Why? Because it feels that way. Then comes the window and AAAHH… worried for nothing it seems.

Anyone else who I may have missed please know it’s not on purpose. Those who are just observing this thread. Keep your head up. Keep tapering. You can do this!!!

 

[[He...]]

Lady Den thank you for the welcome! And thanks for confirmation that my symptoms match up with Z Drug acute withdrawal.  Naively I had hoped by 2 months out, I'd be a little better than this but regardless, I'm THRILLED to be off the sleeping pills! Absolutely thrilled.  Hoping the feel good part shows its itself soon. Thanks again. 

[[De...]]

Yes it is a great feeling to know we are not poisoning ourselves anymore. 

 

Had a really rough night with the new symptom of gastric distress (I won't go into detail) which escalated in the middle of the night just like my pain usually does.  All I can think of that I did differently was eat 1/2 hot dog whereas I usually eat pretty clean.  No more of that now.

 

It's a new day, it's raining, and I'm one more day (and night) closer to being healed.

[[He...]]

Deanna, sorry about your tummy woes in the night. That's the worst! I bet it was that half a hot dog.  But I don't know.  I had terrible belly pain for about two weeks in my first month after jumping and I wasn't eating anything that should have messed me up. You're much further out than I am though so who knows? Anyhow, I hope it was a fluke for you and not a trend. 

[[La...]]

Yes it is a great feeling to know we are not poisoning ourselves anymore. 

 

Had a really rough night with the new symptom of gastric distress (I won't go into detail) which escalated in the middle of the night just like my pain usually does.  All I can think of that I did differently was eat 1/2 hot dog whereas I usually eat pretty clean.  No more of that now.

 

It's a new day, it's raining, and I'm one more day (and night) closer to being healed.

Yes this happened to me with a hot dog as well. I looked at the ingredients and it was full of preservatives. Lesson learned. I found Oscar Meyer ones with no preservatives and I didn’t have a problem. As we heal we become more sensitive. Setback prone as well. Be careful

[[La...]]

Lady Den thank you for the welcome! And thanks for confirmation that my symptoms match up with Z Drug acute withdrawal.  Naively I had hoped by 2 months out, I'd be a little better than this but regardless, I'm THRILLED to be off the sleeping pills! Absolutely thrilled.  Hoping the feel good part shows its itself soon. Thanks again.

Yes Helen a wonderful feeling to be rid of that crap. Amazing how entrapped it makes people but it does it very secretly. TWD mentioned getting an award for tapering. We should because it’s not too easy. I’m looking forward to seeing you improve each month. Don’t underestimate the symptoms you may experience. Accept them. Expect them. Distract them. But whatever you do…. Don’t get back on them. You might hit a rough patch that seems it won’t end. You’ll think you’re permanently going to be that way. Don’t believe it!!!! It’s that Ambien calling you back to Ambien hell jail LOL Challenge it head on! Tell it that it’s a lie because it IS! Deanna Kachina myself and others will tell you how you get these times in the journey. Keep a journal of your symptoms, feelings and what you eat/drink. This can be useful in letting you see patterns of things that helps or hurt as well as seeing your progress that may look like it’s not occurring. Have a coping/self comfort plan. It’s not a straightforward healing. Most take a 3 steps forward and one or two back BUT you gained a step. 👍🏼New symptoms will pop in and out. Some will go away quick some might take awhile. I’m telling you this because this recovery can wear you down if you don’t keep in mind that it isn’t linear. It’s like a rollercoaster. Twists turns curves goes straight for a short time then loops more turns then it goes straight coming to a smooth stop. That’s healed!!!! You’re just starting on yours. But keep that end of your roller coaster in sight. Don’t hesitate to come here for support. Your family and friends will NOT understand this because it’s not being experienced in their body. Outside you look fine so that’s what they see. The best they can do is have a general idea from what you tell them. The ones that are reliable let them support you. Last and important keep the stress to a minimum as much as possible! Pick your battles. They cause more waves or make the ones you have worse and setbacks.

[[De...]]

Yes it is a great feeling to know we are not poisoning ourselves anymore. 

 

Had a really rough night with the new symptom of gastric distress (I won't go into detail) which escalated in the middle of the night just like my pain usually does.  All I can think of that I did differently was eat 1/2 hot dog whereas I usually eat pretty clean.  No more of that now.

 

It's a new day, it's raining, and I'm one more day (and night) closer to being healed.

Yes this happened to me with a hot dog as well. I looked at the ingredients and it was full of preservatives. Lesson learned. I found Oscar Meyer ones with no preservatives and I didn’t have a problem. As we heal we become more sensitive. Setback prone as well. Be careful

 

Oh wow LD that's really interesting.  I wouldn't have eaten it except my husband specifically found grass fed beef hot dogs with what looked like limited ingredients.  They all looked ok to me....but lesson learned nonetheless.

 

Yes I feel that I am in a setback since that chest cold 

[[He...]]

Lady Den thank you for the welcome! And thanks for confirmation that my symptoms match up with Z Drug acute withdrawal.  Naively I had hoped by 2 months out, I'd be a little better than this but regardless, I'm THRILLED to be off the sleeping pills! Absolutely thrilled.  Hoping the feel good part shows its itself soon. Thanks again.

Yes Helen a wonderful feeling to be rid of that crap. Amazing how entrapped it makes people but it does it very secretly. TWD mentioned getting an award for tapering. We should because it’s not too easy. I’m looking forward to seeing you improve each month. Don’t underestimate the symptoms you may experience. Accept them. Expect them. Distract them. But whatever you do…. Don’t get back on them. You might hit a rough patch that seems it won’t end. You’ll think you’re permanently going to be that way. Don’t believe it!!!! It’s that Ambien calling you back to Ambien hell jail LOL Challenge it head on! Tell it that it’s a lie because it IS! Deanna Kachina myself and others will tell you how you get these times in the journey. Keep a journal of your symptoms, feelings and what you eat/drink. This can be useful in letting you see patterns of things that helps or hurt as well as seeing your progress that may look like it’s not occurring. Have a coping/self comfort plan. It’s not a straightforward healing. Most take a 3 steps forward and one or two back BUT you gained a step. 👍🏼New symptoms will pop in and out. Some will go away quick some might take awhile. I’m telling you this because this recovery can wear you down if you don’t keep in mind that it isn’t linear. It’s like a rollercoaster. Twists turns curves goes straight for a short time then loops more turns then it goes straight coming to a smooth stop. That’s healed!!!! You’re just starting on yours. But keep that end of your roller coaster in sight. Don’t hesitate to come here for support. Your family and friends will NOT understand this because it’s not being experienced in their body. Outside you look fine so that’s what they see. The best they can do is have a general idea from what you tell them. The ones that are reliable let them support you. Last and important keep the stress to a minimum as much as possible! Pick your battles. They cause more waves or make the ones you have worse and setbacks.

 

Lady Den, thank you so much for understanding, caring and sharing your advice.  I read your message three times to let it all sink in!  I was on Lunesta and Sonata, not Ambient but Z drugs all the same.  I do keep a journal so check on that one and I do have some pretty good coping skills.  I think I was so ill with this nonsense for about 13 years even while on the poison meds that I have learned a few tricks along the way.  And boy, did I make a ton of mistakes that I won't be making again (like drinking wine to soothe symptoms, trying over stimulating supplements and other dumb ideas). I have a clean diet now, learning to minimize stress as much as possible, lots of meditation and a strong awareness of where I have been and not ever wanting to go back.  I so appreciate your responses and will hang around here with you good people who get it.  Hope you are having a good day.

[[La...]]

Yep Deanna I made that same mistake ( grass fed beef ones) wow! So I tried the Osker Meyer ones with no preservatives and no problem at all. Now you’re making me want a hot dog Lol 😂

Hope you feel better soon sweetie.

Helen you’re welcome. I’m glad you’re doing what you need to do to help yourself as much as you can. It’s wonderful to have you onboard with us. I’m doing ok today. I’m distracting, light exercise and working on being in the car. I’m grateful for some progress finally.

To the rest of Team Z! I hope you’re absent because you’re out enjoying the rest of the summer or having some fun.