Z-Drug Support Group (Lunesta, Imovane, Zimovane, Ambien, Sonata, Zopiclone)

[[Jo...]]

Thanks Lady Den. I believe you and that would be preferable. I took vacation time to sort this out. My current state, while creeping up for awhile, seems to have hit me like an onslaught. There is no way I can work in this condition. I could tough it out if I could take a year off. Dealing with WDs is a full time job. That’s why I am looking for a solution to get me through the day. Either divide the dose, which I haven’t tried yet, or make the switch to Valium, something I don’t want to do but may have to. Wish I wasn’t in this predicament. Congrats on your jump. How are you feeling? As you see from my signature, I was completely off last year for two months before I got back on. The no sleep when faced with challenging work was something I couldn’t handle. All that hard work down the drain and I’m worse off now than I was. Please don’t make the same mistake I did.

[[Ka...]]

Hello Team,

 

So glad you're here. I am having bad nights!!! It eats away at my attitude a bit. I can only lay in bed awake so long, wide awake.

 

How is it that I took that tiny crumb and slept most nights, well actually had about 2 bad nights a week most recently at my lowest doses. I am not sleeping since I jumped on Friday and I have been taking Benadryl every night after about 4 hours, because I'm on the spot for a big event Thursday. So a couple of hours and then one night I did sleep.

 

Yesterday I did a big hike and also had some strong emotional stress ... and then some pain. Maybe that added to factors keeping me awake.

 

I need to make a plan ... no sense laying in bed straight for hours awake. Maybe go to bed later, I prefer to sleep 10pm to 5 or 6am.

 

Any input appreciated. I do not want to go back to the med so I am willing to wait this out. It WILL. be okay!!!

[[La...]]

Thanks Lady Den. I believe you and that would be preferable. I took vacation time to sort this out. My current state, while creeping up for awhile, seems to have hit me like an onslaught. There is no way I can work in this condition. I could tough it out if I could take a year off. Dealing with WDs is a full time job. That’s why I am looking for a solution to get me through the day. Either divide the dose, which I haven’t tried yet, or make the switch to Valium, something I don’t want to do but may have to. Wish I wasn’t in this predicament. Congrats on your jump. How are you feeling? As you see from my signature, I was completely off last year for two months before I got back on. The no sleep when faced with challenging work was something I couldn’t handle. All that hard work down the drain and I’m worse off now than I was. Please don’t make the same mistake I did.

Ok thanks for the explaining of your predicament. I think you would be way better off if you divided your dose. Keep in mind that this may have a reaction until your brain gets used to it. My suggestion is to NOT reduce for atleast one week after you divide your dose. This will give your body time to adjust before you shock it again with a reduction. I agree with the divide instead of Valium. Valium would be another med you would be introducing to your already injured brain. Then it has a long very precise tapering off. So you would have Valium affects/WD and zolpidem WD. Do you get why I don't advise this? But it's YOUR choice. I simply wanted to make sure you understood the consequences. I believe that you will do much better with a dry zolpidem taper.

I jumped last year on Father's Day. This is my 1 year Zolpidem free milestone. I'm feeling ok. I was doing better last month. It seems it's pretty common around this milestone to go backwards a bit. I'm rapid cycling through symptoms. I'm told this is a great sign of much healing taking place in the brain. Although it's unpleasant if my reward is I'm healed then it's worth it.

Have you read Parker's thread on What's happening in the brain? If you haven't please go to post withdrawal thread and read it.

[[La...]]

Hello Team,

 

So glad you're here. I am having bad nights!!! It eats away at my attitude a bit. I can only lay in bed awake so long, wide awake.

 

How is it that I took that tiny crumb and slept most nights, well actually had about 2 bad nights a week most recently at my lowest doses. I am not sleeping since I jumped on Friday and I have been taking Benadryl every night after about 4 hours, because I'm on the spot for a big event Thursday. So a couple of hours and then one night I did sleep.

 

Yesterday I did a big hike and also had some strong emotional stress ... and then some pain. Maybe that added to factors keeping me awake.

 

I need to make a plan ... no sense laying in bed straight for hours awake. Maybe go to bed later, I prefer to sleep 10pm to 5 or 6am.

 

Any input appreciated. I do not want to go back to the med so I am willing to wait this out. It WILL. be okay!!!

Wow Sweetie. You're having a rough time. Ok let's start with where you are. Like a map at the mall...YOU ARE HERE. Where you are is beginning of acute. This is the worst phase but doable. Going back on that crumb will not do you any good. Right now your brain is reacting to the tiny crumb crutch being gone. Think of it as taking a pacifier from a toddler. For a little while he/she will desire it, cry for it and be distressed. It's temporary. Your brain is trying to convince you that you can't sleep. In other words, it's mad at you. Don't listen to it. This is normal response because you took away its pacifier. You won't die. This is a very good thing you did for your health. I know it's feeling overwhelming. Time to pull out your distract kit and use it 24/7 when you're not sleeping. There's nothing wrong with you taking Benadryl but it tends to not work as well if used consecutively. If your going to use it then skip a day in between. Don't focus on how many hours you are sleeping or not sleeping. This will make it worse. Adopt the attitude that if you do then fine, if you don't then fine. Accept that you will be tired. You worked hard and well to get off the Ambien. Is that crumb worth starting over? I believe your emotional stress and pain disrupted your ability to sleep. I agree with you. But tonight you can implement your sleep routine, get very relaxed and try to fall asleep. If it's 3 hours then that's ok. The point is that you slept without that crumb.

I think a plan is a great idea. Make a "I'm awake" basket of things to do. Coloring book, book to read,etc push your bedtime to later is a good idea too. I go to bed at 10:30. Most nights I'm not asleep until 11:30 or midnight. But I sleep about 6-8 hours. If I'm in a wave it might be 1-2am before I can sleep. And I tell myself that is OK. I don't entertain the fear of not sleeping thoughts. I find myself talking out loud to them. Because they're lies anyway.

Are you sticking to your bedtime routine? Are you stressed at bedtime? Are you comfortable? Are thoughts racing?

I hope this helps you. Big hugs. It will get better and be ok.

[[De...]]

Hey Kachina - I'm sorry you are feeling this way.  LadyDen is so right - you have to really not care if you sleep or not.  You've mentioned an event on Thursday that you feel you need to be rested for.  This is the definition of STRESS.  you are placing pressure on yourself to be rested for a particular situation.  Your mind knows how much you want to sleep, but sleep doesn't come bc we want it.  I have found that sleep is like a paradox.  We need it.  We know we need it.  We think about it and then we actually make it more difficult to happen.  We think about THAT, and so on and so on....

 

My guess is you will feel more relaxed after Thursday's event.  And once it's over you'll get back into a better groove.

 

Thinking about you and wishing you peace 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[Jo...]]

Thank you LadyDen. Your advice is sound and helps. Kachina, don’t make the same mistake I did. I was two months clear of all meds and reinstated Zolpidem so I could sleep for work. Stupid. Had I stayed off I would be approaching a year off. Now I’m suffering more than before. Please stay the course.

[[Tw...]]

Kachina,

Heart and healing energy toward you.

 

Glad you are sharing where you are; your sharing is powerful stuff especially in the middle of a difficult time. 

 

Keep walking, this too will past.

 

    keep on moving through.  I would think this is the most difficult week.

[[Ka...]]

Thank you Friends, it really helps a lot to read your replies and have your support.

Okay, LadyD i will come up with a cannot sleep basket of things. Got to get a yellow reading light like a miner's lamp as Shay mentioned because reading in bed will be a go to I think, not sure. Maybe I should get up to read. Ugh!

Deanna, YES, that's it, too much stress and pressure on myself. It will get better after tomorrow.

John, thank you for your presence reminding me that I NEVER want to go back. I do not.

Twbd1ila, really appreciate your words. Yes, perhaps the hardest week and pretty darned reasonable that it's a hard week, as LadyDen said---a toddler with a pacifier!

Onward!

 

So, John, let us know your plan of attack when you decide what it is. Hope you can make a plan that will relieve pressure now as well as when you return to your job--- any flexibility at work to reduce hours for buit in recovery?

 

Webd1ila, how's your taper going?

 

[[Jo...]]

Thanks Kachina! I wish I had a job like that. Maybe I’ll have to take a leave of absence if this keeps up. I’ll keep you posted…

[[Ka...]]

John, I hope you'll find a way to get better, to have the time and support you'll need---I'm the same age as you and left work for 2 years but am now ready to go back. Had other things going on, which was intolerable pain and oversensitivity to stimulation, anxiety and depression, mainly that I now think may have been due to the Ambien, but I never knew that before. I believe the first year of rest set me up to finally be ready to face the challenge of getting off meds. I could not, ever, back then, imagine going to work without sleep. A never ending cycle for so many years. I did borrow some from my 401K! My life is SO much better. I feel hopeful about the rest of my life whereas living with all those symptoms really made me not want to live. I wish there would be a study or survey of all the people taking these meds and the symptoms they suffer. Would really like to see one about ambien. The secret lie.

 

Team Z: You were in my thoughts a lot during the middle of the night! Very comforting for me to think of you, your words, your experience, your journey you've shared here. So it's now been SEVEN NIGHTS off Ambien. I took Benadryl every night until last night. Then last night after 5 hours of "rest" I DID fall asleep for almost 4 hours---and feel normal today!

 

I don't want to take Benadryl anymore so am just keeping an open mind to being awake a lot until my body decides it wants to fall asleep sooner. I am taking rotating sleep herbs for now, valerian and hops. But goal is to not use those either. I would use Benadryl again here and there if feel the need.

 

My life is now set up such that I have a lot of down time and control of my schedule and commitments so I can make restorative healing my focus as I see if there are other W/D symptoms to face.

 

I'm so grateful.

 

Thinking of getting a weighted blanket, not sure how that would go over in the warm weather---anyone else use one in Summer?

[[La...]]

Hey Kachina! Very sweet of you to think of us. I often do the same. I picture you guys here on team z doing great things you enjoy. And I include myself too. Because as bad as we feel and as bad as this journey has been we have much life to live after we're healed. I'm here today in a wave but I know my brain is hard at work to fix me. We are going to heal. We will do great things. We will be strong after this because it didn't kill us! Please remember the symptoms don't tell the whole story. The other half is after we heal. Our brains make us scared, anxious and worried that we won't get better. This is false! All we have to do is take a look at where we've come from. Now that my pulling/boatiness is back its triggering me to have dizziness anxiety. Kachina you gave me a great tool to use to help me battle this. Being mindful of it. Challenge it. Assure myself that it will pass. Some of our symptoms can be made worse because of anxiety that comes with it. Some are simply what will occur no matter what we do because our brain is working on that area. So either way we must do what we can to self soothe ourselves so we remain calm to not make what we feel worse. To do this yes I've used a weighted blanket even in the summertime. If you don't have a weighted blanket you can double two of them. If you get too hot keep a fan on yourself. As a matter of fact, do you guys remember it being winter with a chill in the house especially at night? Think of how comforting it was to cozy under those heavy covers. I remember that it felt so good that I didn't want to get out of bed to even go to the bathroom. LOL For some reason when the body is cold and it's covered it makes us sleep well. Weighted blankets are a great way to help with anxiety too. Kachina it feels like an angel holding you. At least it does to me. Lol I'm so glad to hear that you slept 5 hours. That's great! Just be careful with valerian. It's on Dr Ashton's no-no list while recovering. Kachina if you don't mind me saying this...it seems you are taking something every night since you jumped. Congrats on your 1 week marker. Part of your recovery is to get away from being dependent on taking something to sleep. I know you've been on the Ambien for a very long time so your brain is used to the act of taking something. But the point of your tapering off is to feel better and sleep on your own. You've gotta start not taking anything at some point and address that habit. You'll be surprised at how well you do when you don't take anything. I know I sure was surprised!

[[Ka...]]

Thank you my friend LadyDen!

 

Yes, scared to take nothing, it's true! Scared to lay awake all night. But, time will tell how I do and I want to be honest here about what I am doing. Valerian and hops feel okay to me today. I will be surprised as I AM surprised now!!

 

Our thoughts about our symptoms and our pain create neural pathways and there's lots to learn about that. I'm glad I could encourage you! And am sorry you're in waves. You have a GREAT attitude and I so admire what you've shared about learning to sooth yourself--and all the self care you do. You have very lousy w/d symptoms to deal with but I'm so glad you have faith and keep moving forward.

 

 

[[Jo...]]

Thanks Kachina. I may have to do something. Wish I was wealthy enough to retire and take the time I need. Good luck in your continue recovery.

[[La...]]

You're awesome too Kachina. You've given me some good tips too. That's what this is all about.  I know you'll tackle that need to take something monster very soon. I got your back.

John, what's your taper plan and method? I've been waiting to hear what you decided. How are you feeling?

I woke with a nasty headache and head pressure this morning. It's still going. I haven't had this headache since acute. My brain is hard at work. It doesn't feel good but necessary. It would be nice if this was the last of my misery. I'm sooooooooo ready to be healed. As Kachina said, I've been through an extremely difficult recovery. It amazes me that there's people on here who has taken more than one benzo and ADs but are driving, exercising and not bedridden. Then there's some that took one benzo for a short time but they're catching hell. The ONLY thing I ever took was Ambien. It hurt my vestibular system sooooooo bad as if I was on a cocktail of drugs. Isn't that funny? It shows that each person processes medications uniquely. So they heal according to how it hit the brain. To me this explains why some have severe insomnia, dizziness, boatiness, tremors, pain, restlessness, etc and some have other symptoms as their worse. And 2 people can take the same medication for the same amount of time but one might have a totally different set of symptoms than the other. Wow!

[[Ka...]]

Hey John, well, at our age our health IS our wealth ... In a desperate place with severe symptoms I let my career go but 2 years later am coming around to a way better opportunity that found me and is better than anything I could have imagined! I too am curious about your process/plan---you're under the pressure of the ticking clock--hope you're finding some good steps toward restoration.

 

LadyDen, I KNOW you'll get a good window, a good long, real and true window and you will leap through it!

[[Jo...]]

Very happy for you Kachina. Are you strong enough to work now? Wish you the best?

[[Ka...]]

John, I am finally there and a few months ago at the 2 year mark I didn't think I could work but 10 hours or less a week. But the end of my taper has made such a difference that I now believe I can work up to 20 hours...and that's the beauty of the new career that found me! But it's working as an independent contractor from home. I wouldn't go do the office 8 to 5 M - F job now or probably not again this lifetime. 4 decades was enough. There is more to life than that!! ha ha but I worked with severe symptoms, thus taking ambien at night so I could make it through the day but now here on BB seeing that maybe the cause of my symptoms was the ambien. So crazy.

 

And another thing, maybe I got more in touch with thinking reasonably as I got better--but I did a reality check on my IRA and projected growth potential from best to worst-case scenario and found out that I am in much better shape financially for retirement than I thought. There's so much fear around that topic, but in my spare time I got educated and the reality check was much better than I thought...and I didn't save a lot. Less fear more peace.

 

I feel GREAT, not so much on days with just 3 to 4 hours of sleep but then I get a good night and it holds me over. I do things to support my mental health ... physical health. I got out from under the poison and the symptoms it caused. That topic is hard as there is so much denial about how debilitating these drugs can be.

[[Jo...]]

Good for you Kachina. Keep making progress. I believe Ambien ruined my life. I was fine on a different sleep aid until I ran out. I switched and from day one all hell broke loose. I guess nothing to do but deal with it. Praying for you.

[[Ka...]]

John, Thank you and yes, well glad you know what is going on ... I did not for so long! What are your side effects? How is your time off going? Are you sleeping? Have you made any structure in your self-care for this time? I am praying for you and we're all here for you!

[[Be...]]

I remember a long time ago that Charlie Sheen said that Ambien was the devil's aspirin.  I guess he had problems with it too at one time.

[[De...]]

Hi Everyone!  I've been busy with house guests and all the increased social activity is testing my recovery.  Pain and anxiety are coming back but not so terrible.  I echo LadyDen in that I am SO READY to be healed! 

 

John, Ambien ruined my life too.  Just told my daughter how it has stolen 3-4 years of a very precious time of life.  But I am making the best of this phase of recovery.  I hope when I get back to baseline I am even better, bc that's what these miniwaves seem to lead to, a better baseline.  John, I am wishing you the best in your taper :-)

 

LadyDen - how is you current wave?  Keep us updated on your travels!!

 

June 30th already - Time is flying really.

 

 

[[Jo...]]

Thanks Deanna! Hang in there…

[[La...]]

Hi Team Z. Sending better days wishes your way.

Deanna yesterday unfortunately I woke up feeling weird in my head. Normal this signals a wave coming. But this was somewhat different because of how I was feeling. Sure enough a HUGE wave hit me with symptoms I've had before ( they were more intense) and symptoms I've never had or had very mildly in early acute. My brain felt like I had a stroke or seizure. Scared me sooooo bad! I almost called an ambulance. I thought any minute im going to blackout and that's the end of me. I'm very shocked that this far out, this occurred. Since then I've been not tolerating sitting up or standing/walking. When I do, it feels like I'm going to have another one of those big ones. Of course it's caused my anxiety to be high. I'm vibrating, shaking, muscle fascilating,weird head pressure, nausea, mild loose stools,strong episodes of sleepiness and no appetite.

Funny you asked about me going to my new place. When this happened was when I was supposed to go. And just to be clear..no this wasn't a panic attack. For days prior I felt something brewing in my brain. I feel slightly better than yesterday. All I can do is rest.

I'm sorry you're in pain and anxiety again. I hope it goes away soon. How are you today and how are all of you Team Z-ers doing?

[[Ka...]]

Lady, so glad to hear you're feeling a little better. Your experience sounds so unsettling, I hate that you're hit with such intense waves. I'm hoping you'll be at your new address soon. The brain is a miracle and you were doing so awesome most recently!!!!

 

Becks, how are you?!

 

Twbd1ila??

 

Deanna, good to hear from you~you remind me of what I experience too, stress increases symptoms and thanks to your curable suggestion I have learned to tell my brain we're okay and it's been working with some big milestones for me.

 

John, very glad you knew what it was that hit you ... it's nice to have another A user on the team!

 

Team Z: my update, I'm hanging in there! I can't see my ticker from here but I think yesterday it told me I haven't taken Ambien for 10 days. OH MY GOODNESS, wow, ooohhhh oh oh, this IS my life. My new life, off ambien. A tiny teeny step away, sssshhhhhh, don't let it hear me it might grab me. Oh!!! I guess I should throw it away! Wow that's another big step. I will update you. Want to come to a kill the ambien party!?!?

 

So my mantra is I may or may not fall asleep soon, but I'll rest and be okay ... Transitions are big and they keep one awake sometimes anyway. I do have a few symptoms that I've had over the months that come and go but they still don't compare to whatever it was I was in during those days taking 10mg ambien---interdose withdrawal or something like that. I can't get in my hot tub when it's sooo hot outside, mainly because our bedroom does not have AC so I'm too heated up and I really miss that for calming down. I need some exercise today to help with the sleep tonight, haven't gone yet.

 

[[La...]]

Kachina sign me up and put me in the VIP section of your kill Ambien party. As devastatingly brutal it has done to me, I want front row seats! I honestly hope my healing comes very soon. You're so right that this is a cruel trick to be feeling 85% healed to the point that I started living life again then have a huge wave crash down setting me back. I'm doing my best to hang on. Glad you're doing decent. Wow 10 days already!!! Good riddance Ambien. 

Btw when I threw away my remaining Ambien, I turned it into a mini party playing the Ray Charles song " Hit the road Jack". It was so fun. I was feeling terrible that day being bedridden as well. It lifted my spirits to do that.