XANAX Support Blog: If you're tapering Xanax/alprazolam, join in the discussion!

[[Be...]]

ps. I never could take any of the anti-depressants either, until I tried Paxil, it worked perfect for me, I was on it 10 year... I dont recommend taking it that long, it was as hard to taper as the Xanax, but you really should ask your therapist about something, I think you probably could use some help like that if you can find one that you can tolerate... have you ever tried the Paxil?

[[Fl...]]

Benzy,

 

At this point, it is really hard for me to believe that this drug is so easily prescribed when it has such catastrophic affects on every part of your body.

 

Some of the things you wrote are exactly how I'm feeling. It' as if I'm just existing.  I won't socialize because I'm worried about how I may act or look.  I have this feeling that others can tell that there is something wrong with me.

 

I pray once I start my taper I will be successful.

 

Nothing I have posted was meant to scare anyone.  It is simply what I am going through, and I needed the help and advice pertaining to my situation.

 

Benzy, Thank you for sharing your personal experiences with me.  I am so proud of you because I know this has not been easy, and one more cut and you will be F R E E.  What a feeling that will be.

 

Heart felt thanks for your words of encouragement.

 

Warm Holiday Hugs,

FluterByee

[[Fl...]]

ps. I never could take any of the anti-depressants either, until I tried Paxil, it worked perfect for me, I was on it 10 year... I dont recommend taking it that long, it was as hard to taper as the Xanax, but you really should ask your therapist about something, I think you probably could use some help like that if you can find one that you can tolerate... have you ever tried the Paxil?

 

I tried it back in 97.  I have 10mg Celexa, and my doc said I could break it in half.  I have a phobia of med's due to my sensitivity.  My brother always gets mad at me.  He doesn't understand...no one does unless they have experienced problems w*medication's.  Not everyone can take them with no problems at all.  I would be thrilled if I could.  I have had the Celexa for about 2 months now, but have been afraid to try it.

FB

[[Fl...]]

I'm going to try and sleep.  Last night I kept having terrible dreams.

 

I kept dreaming my teeth were breaking off.  Creepy.

 

Google it, and it is exactly how I feel in my life right now.  It gave me chills.

 

Nitey Nite,

Nora

[[Be...]]

ok nite,, I sent you a PM

[[Be...]]

Ive had that dream all my life!, that, and I get my weeny hung in a paper shredder...

I dont know what either is suppose to mean...

[[Bl...]]

FB

This may sound too simplistic, but it is possible that punching your arm is to distract yourself from your depression and anxiety. Please stop it now before it becomes a way of coping with feelings that are hard to deal with.  From what I have read, self harm can be as  addicting as any prescription drug.

 

Please be kind to yourself. I know it is hard to do when you are upset. But think of it as a challenge.

 

Baby steps FB with the gentle, loving self talk. Do not worry that you can not do it perfectly....none of us can. 30-40% of the time is good enough. Heck, some days only 1% of the time is good enough.

 

Blue  

[[Pe...]]

I always just start with a pinch, like I was at .0125 last time, that's a half of a .25, so when I started cutting this last time, I just broke off a little bitty corner of the half tablet, the next night I pinch off a little more, and so on, until about the 4 or 5th night I finally just broke the half .25 in two and left out the full .0625 cut... makes it a little easier to ease into a full cut that way..

 

Makes perfect sense to 'ease' into the full .0625 cut, rather than just cutting the 1/4 of the .25 tablet out and hoping for the best...I think I'm going to use that "pinch' method exclusively with each cut, it'll take a bit longer, but with doing it that way it wont be such a 'shock' to my brain and body. I need to be around and somewhat stable to take care of my wife and have some sort of life. Maybe I'll just use a titration method to get a more even, smaller cut.

 

Now this might sound crazy, but I have a regular file that I bought and used once. Its the kind that's about 1" wide tapered at the end, the 'files blades' themselves are about 1/32 apart. What If I was to hold a tablet with the cut line in line with the file and zip through the edge of the tablet once, shaving off just a tad. Do the one swipe method for a week Wait a week or so and shave off two swipes with the file, then three swipes and so forth?  Just an idea..... PepsiMoon

 

 

[[Be...]]

sure that would work, can you salvage the pieces you file off though? to use at a later/lower date/dose?.... that would be the only drawback, but as far as tapering that works, anything works as long as its slow/low enough and a long enough time....

 

the gradual cut has worked great for me, and Ive seen others say the same...

[[My...]]

hi all

 

I really want some tips from ppl who are successfully out of xanax ... i hv been on a .25 mg dose for 12 months and another .125mg for 7 months ..and now 40 days completely out of xanax .. though i am happy the intake of the drug has stopped for last 40 days ... but my life has become meaningless .. i cant comprehend ppl and respond to them and in turn i hv become a person whose dumb and unproductive at work ...

 

Ok some days are really bad and i am living in a different world unaware of whats happening around me .. i'll not talk much about whats happening to me because most of you know what i must be going through and also talking about it makes me feel even worse ..

 

I hve been on a low dose for 18months

 

Now when will i have a window if you ask me i hv experienced only one in last 40 days ... and there is not trend/pattern of me improving ..all of a sudden one day is very bad ... some days are comparitively Ok..

 

ppl who are out of this what all suggestions you have for me ... Please make my withdrawal easier ...i have a lots to do i cant just waste my life i hv already wasted 18months in this process..

 

Thanks a lot

[[Fl...]]

FB

This may sound too simplistic, but it is possible that punching your arm is to distract yourself from your depression and anxiety. Please stop it now before it becomes a way of coping with feelings that are hard to deal with.  From what I have read, self harm can be as  addicting as any prescription drug.

 

Please be kind to yourself. I know it is hard to do when you are upset. But think of it as a challenge.

 

Baby steps FB with the gentle, loving self talk. Do not worry that you can not do it perfectly....none of us can. 30-40% of the time is good enough. Heck, some days only 1% of the time is good enough.

 

Blue

 

Blue,

That is exactly what I am doing.  It is a form of distraction, and for whatever the reason it has a calming affect.  I don't understand it myself.

 

At this phase in my life I am so full of anger, resentment, self loathing, venom...I'm just a toxic individual.  I have become someone I don't even recognize.  I have never felt like this in my life!!!

 

Blue, thank you for taking the time to reply.  I do apologize if my posts have been upsetting in anyway to all who are going through there own hell. 

 

Please don't give up on me.  I am truly trying to fight my way back.

 

Much love to all who care about me and what I am going through.

 

Blessings,

FluterByee

 

 

[[ho...]]

Hi FB,

 

I hope you just received my PM. I thought it might be helpful to reply here so that others can comment or read if helpful.

 

Again, I know what you are going through is just awful. This is probably the one place that you can come that others can say that and truly mean it! You will get through this. The fact that you are here, seeking help, is a testament to that. Yes, it is shocking what this drug can do. I still find myself dumbfounded daily. It is unfathomable. Everything you are describing either sounds like something I have read others in w/d experiencing or I have experienced myself.

 

Prior to going into w/d, I never experienced depression. Yes, of course, I had times when I was down or sad or in a low mood but nothing I would consider true depression. However, during my taper I experienced awful depression, depression that I never knew existed. I felt like it would never end and at times I truly felt hopeless. I had intrusive thoughts about dying and suicide for about a month long period in there as well. It scared me really badly. I obviously wanted to live! I was going through all of this so that I could be free and live more fully. I had learned though from reading here that it would go away. I learned that it wasn't me, it was the drug. I just pictured my brain trying to find a new equilibrium and get itself straight and in the process firing off all kinds of crazy messages. I tried to remind myself that this would pass and that this was healing! I told someone when I felt like this. I came here. I was homebound for a while but I knew that would pass. For months I sat on my porch so that I could get out of the house and I just imagined the sun and the wind healing my body. I just tried to wait. I am still waiting. This is an awfully slow process to say the least. Did I accept it with grace?...no! I fought and cried and was terrified and had horrific bouts of anxiety and felt desperate and prayed for mercy and bounced along. I always pictured myself careening down the side of a rocky mountain on a sled...however, there was no snow...so I was just bouncing along all crazy and out of control and hanging on for dear life. I think the depression is normal for benzo w/d the drug highjacks our receptors, our brains, and temporarily our lives. BUT the key word is TEMPORARILY! You really are in control. You are choosing to learn and so you will choose to begin your taper. You might experience more symptoms while tapering but they might be less-there is no way to know. The one thing you can know though is that either way, the drug won't kill you and symptoms or not the only way out of this mess is through! So it is full steam ahead to the other side! There are tons of us who have already gone down the path you are on and have lived to tell about it. If you are like me, then this is the hardest thing I have ever done and I hope the hardest thing I ever have to do. But it can be done.

 

In regards to the anger and self harm. I did experience rage a few times like I had never experienced before. I did not ever self harm but I have read of others who have here on BB. I agree with Blue. You have to stop this before it becomes a coping mechanism that you can't stop. I don't say that to lecture you, I say because I care.

 

What other coping techniques can you use? One night I got a dozen eggs and threw them one by one into the shower while I yelled and cried. I pounded the pillow on the bed and yelled and screamed. I even broke a stack of old dishes. That felt really good but was a mess to clean up!  I also used a technique that I learned in counseling when I was dealing with growing up in a crazy family...I put a chair in the room with me and called in whoever I had anger over. I took a huge piece of butcher paper and I yelled at the "person" as I tore off a piece of paper and crumpled it up into a ball and then threw the ball at the chair. For example, I called in the doctor who initially prescribed me Xanax. "Dr. Sanford, get in here. I have something to say to you. I am sick and I am hurting and I hold you partly responsible. I give you back the shame, regret, anger, and pain that I feel. I hold you accountable for your recklessness. I trusted you and you hurt me!" Then I'd throw the ball at the chair. I called in Xanax itself and told it I was through with it and all the side effects it caused. It may seem a bit wacky but it works.

 

Find what works for you, my friend, and make sure it is loving to you! Celebrate your bravery and courage and mourn what you have lost. Cherish yourself and your body and honor it for carrying you through this.

 

I know this is a long post but I hope it helps! You are a treasure. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Remember that!

 

Love,

 

Hopeful Girl 

[[Fl...]]

Hopeful,

 

Thank you for caring enough about me (someone you don't even know) to write such beautiful, powerful words.

 

I can not name everyone, but I hope you all know that the support and compassion you are all so willing to give does help, and I will be eternally grateful!

 

With Warmth, Love, and Hugs,

FluterByee

[[No...]]

Hopeful,

 

Thank you for caring enough about me (someone you don't even know) to write such beautiful, powerful words.

 

I can not name everyone, but I hope you all know that the support and compassion you are all so willing to give does help, and I will be eternally grateful!

 

With Warmth, Love, and Hugs,

FluterByee

    FluterByee,

 

            Be KIND to yourself. RAGE in Benzo Withdrawal is very common. Just do not direct at yourself or anyone

    else. Suggestion: Walking at a brisk pace. Talk with a friend, come on BB and VENT. I have had rage off and on

    through out my taper, more towards the end. Now that I am off.... I experience MORE feelings.

 

            Its also very very common, with Xanax to have: Rebound Anxiety, Xanax quits working. Some call this tolerance

    Per my Benzo Doc, that is not correct. Tolerance is when the same amount of Drug you are taking, does not work and 

    you must take MORE. You are then tolerant to the original dose and must updose to get relief. Its a vicious cycle.

    That's why Benzos are to be used for short term only.

 

            Crying jags, depression, ideations that are not normal, headaches, pain in joints, nightmares, odd sounds

    Tinnitus (ringing in ears) fearful of many things, very common. I even got agoraphobia from Xanax, I thought I had 

    fell into a sever depression.

      I do take an AD, which helps a lot with withdrawal depression, it also helps with other thing(s). 

    . Antidepressants are a very sensitive subject, and each person has to decide the benefit(s).

 

    Knowing I have to taper and AD is okay with me. It helped me out. I had the normal range of side affects. My body

    did resolve those, with time. My B Doc does NOT over prescribe. In fact, I had to start slow with the lowest amount.

 

    Bottom line: Its your body, your life, your taper. Do what is BEST for you. BB is a great resource!

          Thank the Good Lord for BB.

 

      Wishing you a successful taper! 

          NFM

[[Be...]]

there was a girl in the looney bin when I was in there one time that was a cutter, basically what I learned is that the process releases something like "endorphins"?, I dont know if thats the right word or not,, but it releases what it normally would when a painful injury occurs.... it makes the depressed person feel somewhat better for a variety of reasons, one being they think they deserve it, but more because the release of this substance causes feelings that are above the depressed persons current depressed state, so they actually feel a bit better regardless of the source,,, kinda like a shot of adrenaline....if you get the picture..

its not a good habit to get started, no...

[[Be...]]

she showed me her arms, she looked like she had full sleeve of white tattoos all over her arms, she said her whole body looked like that,, it was awful, poor soul...makes ya wonder if she was on benzos, Im sure she was... that was 20 years ago.....dont know what happened toher...

[[Fl...]]

she showed me her arms, she looked like she had full sleeve of white tattoos all over her arms, she said her whole body looked like that,, it was awful, poor soul...makes ya wonder if she was on benzos, Im sure she was... that was 20 years ago.....dont know what happened toher...

 

That is VERY sad.  How awful to get to that point and not have help.  Where was someone...anyone back when she made the first few cuts.  I suppose it's a secret you want to keep because of what others will think.  I however do not want my hitting to progress!!!!!  And that is a promise.  It's not easy to divulge something like that about yourself!

 

FB

[[Fl...]]

Some of you know that my mom has been in a Nursing Facility for almost a year.  Well, she came home to stay on Monday.

 

She is getting established with a Home Health Agency who sent a new Doctor to see her.  Can you believe there are Doc's who now make house calls.

 

Well, he came over for the first time today.  Really liked him. He seems nice...took his time and offered up some information that I would like to share w*everyone.

 

My mom has a rare form of Neuropathy.  It affects her  entire body.  While he was gathering all the info about mom he started telling me about this study relating to 100% pure coconut oil.

 

It is an Evidence Based Study that was used on individuals with Alzheimer's and it works on the CNS and Brain.

 

Some of you may know about it.  If you don't, this is what he told me.  You can buy Lantana 100% pure coconut oil from Wal-Mart.  It's in the oil section.  It is odorless & tasteless.

 

Start by taking 2 tbsp. per day.  It is a short chained oil so it gets inside the cells very fast and helps restore cell health and energy.

 

His wife also cooks with only this oil.

 

He said it has helped his Neruopathy tremendously.  Those are his words.

 

It's worth a try....

 

FluterByee

[[ba...]]

Hi FB,

 

I hope you just received my PM. I thought it might be helpful to reply here so that others can comment or read if helpful.

 

Again, I know what you are going through is just awful. This is probably the one place that you can come that others can say that and truly mean it! You will get through this. The fact that you are here, seeking help, is a testament to that. Yes, it is shocking what this drug can do. I still find myself dumbfounded daily. It is unfathomable. Everything you are describing either sounds like something I have read others in w/d experiencing or I have experienced myself.

 

Prior to going into w/d, I never experienced depression. Yes, of course, I had times when I was down or sad or in a low mood but nothing I would consider true depression. However, during my taper I experienced awful depression, depression that I never knew existed. I felt like it would never end and at times I truly felt hopeless. I had intrusive thoughts about dying and suicide for about a month long period in there as well. It scared me really badly. I obviously wanted to live! I was going through all of this so that I could be free and live more fully. I had learned though from reading here that it would go away. I learned that it wasn't me, it was the drug. I just pictured my brain trying to find a new equilibrium and get itself straight and in the process firing off all kinds of crazy messages. I tried to remind myself that this would pass and that this was healing! I told someone when I felt like this. I came here. I was homebound for a while but I knew that would pass. For months I sat on my porch so that I could get out of the house and I just imagined the sun and the wind healing my body. I just tried to wait. I am still waiting. This is an awfully slow process to say the least. Did I accept it with grace?...no! I fought and cried and was terrified and had horrific bouts of anxiety and felt desperate and prayed for mercy and bounced along. I always pictured myself careening down the side of a rocky mountain on a sled...however, there was no snow...so I was just bouncing along all crazy and out of control and hanging on for dear life. I think the depression is normal for benzo w/d the drug highjacks our receptors, our brains, and temporarily our lives. BUT the key word is TEMPORARILY! You really are in control. You are choosing to learn and so you will choose to begin your taper. You might experience more symptoms while tapering but they might be less-there is no way to know. The one thing you can know though is that either way, the drug won't kill you and symptoms or not the only way out of this mess is through! So it is full steam ahead to the other side! There are tons of us who have already gone down the path you are on and have lived to tell about it. If you are like me, then this is the hardest thing I have ever done and I hope the hardest thing I ever have to do. But it can be done.

 

In regards to the anger and self harm. I did experience rage a few times like I had never experienced before. I did not ever self harm but I have read of others who have here on BB. I agree with Blue. You have to stop this before it becomes a coping mechanism that you can't stop. I don't say that to lecture you, I say because I care.

 

What other coping techniques can you use? One night I got a dozen eggs and threw them one by one into the shower while I yelled and cried. I pounded the pillow on the bed and yelled and screamed. I even broke a stack of old dishes. That felt really good but was a mess to clean up!  I also used a technique that I learned in counseling when I was dealing with growing up in a crazy family...I put a chair in the room with me and called in whoever I had anger over. I took a huge piece of butcher paper and I yelled at the "person" as I tore off a piece of paper and crumpled it up into a ball and then threw the ball at the chair. For example, I called in the doctor who initially prescribed me Xanax. "Dr. Sanford, get in here. I have something to say to you. I am sick and I am hurting and I hold you partly responsible. I give you back the shame, regret, anger, and pain that I feel. I hold you accountable for your recklessness. I trusted you and you hurt me!" Then I'd throw the ball at the chair. I called in Xanax itself and told it I was through with it and all the side effects it caused. It may seem a bit wacky but it works.

 

Find what works for you, my friend, and make sure it is loving to you! Celebrate your bravery and courage and mourn what you have lost. Cherish yourself and your body and honor it for carrying you through this.

 

I know this is a long post but I hope it helps! You are a treasure. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Remember that!

 

Love,

 

Hopeful Girl 

 

Very good advice HG

 

[[Fl...]]

And it's by LoAna not Lantana.

 

I think I would want to use a pure organic coconut oil.

 

FB

[[ho...]]

Hi FB,

Thanks for sharing this! My doc had me start on coconut oil and it is what I use now to cook just about everything. I buy a brand called Spectrum that is organic. It is good stuff and I think it really helps! It is also great for you skin by the way  I make homemade sugar scrub with it and everyone loves it! I melt it down and mix it with organic sugar...I just get it where it is the consistency I like and then I add cinnamon or vanilla...then I add a bit of melted shea butter and some vitamin E oil. Mix it up and put it in a jar and into the shower it goes. Yummy stuff!

 

Glad my words helped. Please keep sharing. I know it is hard to reveal personal information even here. It requires being really vulnerable!

 

Enjoy that coconut oil! It also makes great popcorn 

 

HG

[[Pe...]]

I thought I would put out this request for all of the members here that have cut their Xanax using the water titration method. I have a 100ML Graduation tube, mortar and pestle. I am ordering a box of 100- 1 mg syringes w/o/needles from amazon today. I'm going to be using 1 mg tablets. I just need to know exactly how I go about

the titration, mainly converting mg to ml. I have to admit that math isn't my forte' so all of this .075865 or .0015 stuff wont help me a bit. What I need to know is when I crush my 1 mg X, put it in 100 ml of water and mix.

 

1)  How much do I draw out of the 100 ml tube using a 1 ml syringe to equal a .625 cut?

2)  Should I split the remainder into like 3 doses per day to ease the w/d symptoms?

 

I appreciate all of the input I've received so far. I have to admit I'm shaking in my boots a bit starting this Xanax w/d journey. I am very apprehensive and yea' scared,

but determined to do it, weird huh?

 

Any and all help in the titration method would be greatly appreciated.              Thanks, PepsiMoon

 

[[ho...]]

I thought I would put out this request for all of the members here that have cut their Xanax using the water titration method. I have a 100ML Graduation tube, mortar and pestle. I am ordering a box of 100- 1 mg syringes w/o/needles from amazon today. I'm going to be using 1 mg tablets. I just need to know exactly how I go about

the titration, mainly converting mg to ml. I have to admit that math isn't my forte' so all of this .075865 or .0015 stuff wont help me a bit. What I need to know is when I crush my 1 mg X, put it in 100 ml of water and mix.

 

1)  How much do I draw out of the 100 ml tube using a 1 ml syringe to equal a .625 cut?

2)  Should I split the remainder into like 3 doses per day to ease the w/d symptoms?

 

I appreciate all of the input I've received so far. I have to admit I'm shaking in my boots a bit starting this Xanax w/d journey. I am very apprehensive and yea' scared,

but determined to do it, weird huh?

 

Any and all help in the titration method would be greatly appreciated.              Thanks, PepsiMoon

 

HI PepsiMoon,

 

I am happy to give you some suggestions. I am working right now without much time but will get back as soon as I can. I think it is more helpful to have the 10ml syringes. You can get them for free at any pharmacy :-)

 

Hopeful Girl

[[Pe...]]

HI PepsiMoon,

 

I am happy to give you some suggestions. I am working right now without much time but will get back as soon as I can. I think it is more helpful to have the 10ml syringes. You can get them for free at any pharmacy :-)

 

Hopeful Girl

 

Hey Hopeful! Any and all suggestions are deeply appreciated.. I'll get some 10 ml syringes asap. The 1 ml's are already ordered. I figure I could use those when I get to a very low dosage, then when I start to taper the clonazepam later down the road. I have a start date of Jan. 1st 2014 for the Xanax.  Hope to hear from you soon!

                                                                                                Thanks again, PepsiMoon

[[Be...]]

suddenly I feel lika sh##tah.... metallic taste in mouth, yuk...#uk