Total and complete 100% success after 22 months

[[Ru...]]

Hello lostdog!  CONGRATULATIONS! I am so happy for you.  I am also so very miserable and it's so good to read your story. I am 20 months out with very little relief (maybe 3 window days). In fact, things are worse this second year than in the first year. That's to be expected though as I read so many other posts. I hope soon that some healing is evident soon. This is torture. I, like you, have diffuse symptoms and hope I don't have another year at this intensity.  Thanks again, for posting your experience. It's encouraging! Ruthie B

[[Sk...]]

You said ...  "Basically everything got worse and worse for about the first three months then leveled off at six months and I didn’t really start making progress until about a year to 18 months."

 

This about the same time frame I experienced too.  It was a long road but I figured that eventually my brain and body had to adjust to being benzo free and it did. I started to see improvement around the one year mark but there were still many months of recovery ahead. It was a very gradual process. There were many times along the way that I thought I was better or back to normal but looking back I wasn't. However, symptoms had greatly improved so I'm not trying to be negative. I found the recovery process so slow that I'm not exactly sure when the recovery was complete.

 

I'm glad you got through it. : )

 

The human brain and body are very adaptable. It just takes time.

 

Steve

[[Wo...]]

You said ...  "Basically everything got worse and worse for about the first three months then leveled off at six months and I didn’t really start making progress until about a year to 18 months."

 

This about the same time frame I experienced too.  It was a long road but I figured that eventually my brain and body had to adjust to being benzo free and it did. I started to see improvement around the one year mark but there were still many months of recovery ahead. It was a very gradual process. There were many times along the way that I thought I was better or back to normal but looking back I wasn't. However, symptoms had greatly improved so I'm not trying to be negative. I found the recovery process so slow that I'm not exactly sure when the recovery was complete.

 

I'm glad you got through it. : )

 

The human brain and body are very adaptable. It just takes time.

 

Steve

 

I'm right in that place where I think I'm getting better for a few days, then WHAM! I'm really struggling with thinking this is how I am forever. To hear yet another person say what you just said literally brings tears to my eyes. This means a lot Steve. Thanks. I hope you're enjoying your freedom.

[[Te...]]

I keep coming back to this success story to give me hope!

[[Sk...]]

 

 

I'm right in that place where I think I'm getting better for a few days, then WHAM! I'm really struggling with thinking this is how I am forever. To hear yet another person say what you just said literally brings tears to my eyes. This means a lot Steve. Thanks. I hope you're enjoying your freedom.

 

Around the 10 or 11 month mark is where I first notice some improvement. It was very slight but one morning i was going to work and I realized I was just "going about my business" and I caught myself not thinking about how bad I felt. There was still a long road ahead and very slowly it eventually got better.  I often though that I was permanently damaged but I wasn't. It was just a unwelcome round trip to hell. The following months were full of improvement. Your gaba receptors need to build back up. It takes time.

[[Mo...]]

Bumping time...

[[ra...]]

Almost crying reading this! @Morreweg thanks for bumping. And Lostdog thank you so much for telling your story. I'm feeling so hopeless at 9 months out, and I keep trying new doctors, and they keep telling me that I can't still be having benzo withdrawal symptoms and trying to switch me to different antidepressants. It's really hard to tell myself that I can still expect healing. But your story really gives me hope. I like your advice of concentrating on what has gotten better, 'cause I've definitely gotten better from three months ago. Progress is slow but it's such a relief to see that it happened for you. Thank you again and best wishes for continued happiness.

[[Mo...]]

Almost crying reading this! @Morreweg thanks for bumping. And Lostdog thank you so much for telling your story. I'm feeling so hopeless at 9 months out, and I keep trying new doctors, and they keep telling me that I can't still be having benzo withdrawal symptoms and trying to switch me to different antidepressants. It's really hard to tell myself that I can still expect healing. But your story really gives me hope. I like your advice of concentrating on what has gotten better, 'cause I've definitely gotten better from three months ago. Progress is slow but it's such a relief to see that it happened for you. Thank you again and best wishes for continued happiness.

 

Stay strong please rapunzel, you've come so far ,but unfortunately

9 months out is not all that long for a Benzo recovery process....

 

Sadly to say majority of Doctors are clueless , they think more drugs

are the solution......

 

I would urge you to watch this video by Robert Whitaker....

will be an eye opener , hopefully give you some peace of mind too.

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=135774.msg1817534#msg1817534

 

 

[[he...]]

 

Stay strong please rapunzel, you've come so far ,but unfortunately

9 months out is not all that long for a Benzo recovery process....

 

Sadly to say majority of Doctors are clueless , they think more drugs

are the solution......

 

I would urge you to watch this video by Robert Whitaker....

will be an eye opener , hopefully give you some peace of mind too.

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=135774.msg1817534#msg1817534

 

Truth. Just today I stupidly went back to my GI doc for a follow up to the colonoscopy a few months ago that revealed nothing. He's nice, gave me a hug, said "we'll figure out what's going on." ...and suggested I go back on antidepressants because my anxiety and mental health issues must be causing my pain. Sigh... 

 

This success story is so inspiring. It's moments when I read stuff like this that I say to myself, "Ok, you're only 5 months and 12 days since your cold turkey; you reinstated for a week in March. This is going to take time." I just wish I had a few more windows to get me along. The ones I've had have been so tantalizingly beautiful.

 

Hang in everyone.

 

Be well,

HT

[[Lo...]]

Did you have the feeling as if you couldn't control where you looked? Just as I can't make decisions [well, I can, it's just hard and does involve random selection] aside from logical decisions, I feel as if I can't control where I'm looking, unless it's a "check-look", an "anxious-scan", or a "wondurance-scan)

[[Ge...]]

Thank you.

[[ml...]]

Thank you so much for such a well written and detailed account of your sojourn to freedom from this crazy experience we all go thru...LORD!

 

I teared up when I read it all, as I can so relate. So excited for YOU!

I am so hopeful with every passing month. Feels so good to be past the white-knuckle thru it, am I gonna live thru this! OMG, It was SO INTENSE!!

 

Now its diving into deeper healing and your story assures me and us all, we CAN and will get there!

 

God bless and thank you,

magic 

[[lo...]]

Hii buddy....

Thanks a lot from my heart...

I am in 15 month.... but so worried that i would ever feel better again...

Ur story has given an hope to live and struggle more to get the 18 to 24 months mark...

Thanks very much....☺☺☺

 

[[ml...]]

Almost crying reading this! @Morreweg thanks for bumping. And Lostdog thank you so much for telling your story. I'm feeling so hopeless at 9 months out, and I keep trying new doctors, and they keep telling me that I can't still be having benzo withdrawal symptoms and trying to switch me to different antidepressants. It's really hard to tell myself that I can still expect healing. But your story really gives me hope. I like your advice of concentrating on what has gotten better, 'cause I've definitely gotten better from three months ago. Progress is slow but it's such a relief to see that it happened for you. Thank you again and best wishes for continued happiness.

 

Stay strong please rapunzel, you've come so far ,but unfortunately

9 months out is not all that long for a Benzo recovery process....

 

Sadly to say majority of Doctors are clueless , they think more drugs

are the solution......

 

I would urge you to watch this video by Robert Whitaker....

will be an eye opener , hopefully give you some peace of mind too.

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=135774.msg1817534#msg1817534

 

 

Thank you morreweg...I watched this video and I have believed this all my life, especially watching my mother in and out of mental hospitals with bipolar, panic and depression all my life. She is now so medicated at 77 and she STILL thinks more meds, or a different med are the answer. Its absolutely heartbreaking.

 

I am so grateful I had my wake-up call now and I am so done with ALL psychiatric drugs.

I am hopeful for my complete healing and I know it takes time. I will continue to focus on how far I have come at 5 months off, instead of how far I have yet  to go. 

[[wh...]]

I'm so glad to be on this thread. I just went back and read Lostdog's success story again, and glad I did. I appreciate his take on why the 12-18 month time frame is (can be) so much harder, as that has been the case for me. Thank you again for giving so many of us here who are just holding on some hope.

[[Mo...]]

bump. 

[[Su...]]

Your post was incredible, read it over and over, could almost feel your hand reaching down to pull me up to the surface again. Thank you for writing this, I am so grateful I found your post. Be well.

[[To...]]

Hope you're still watching your relies. How long did it take for your bladder and urination issues to clear up?

Mine started at the end of month 4. Really annoying. Have to void about every three hours. Hard to sleep that way.

 

[[Mo...]]

Hope you're still watching your relies. How long did it take for your bladder and urination issues to clear up?

Mine started at the end of month 4. Really annoying. Have to void about every three hours. Hard to sleep that way.

 

Terrible, isn't it ? it will be gone the further out you get and then again it

might come back for a little while....

 

If I got a buck for every time I peed during recovery I would be

rich by now.

 

don't worry, its part of the game....I just replied cause lostdog might not

be back....take care.

[[Mo...]]

Almost crying reading this! @Morreweg thanks for bumping. And Lostdog thank you so much for telling your story. I'm feeling so hopeless at 9 months out, and I keep trying new doctors, and they keep telling me that I can't still be having benzo withdrawal symptoms and trying to switch me to different antidepressants. It's really hard to tell myself that I can still expect healing. But your story really gives me hope. I like your advice of concentrating on what has gotten better, 'cause I've definitely gotten better from three months ago. Progress is slow but it's such a relief to see that it happened for you. Thank you again and best wishes for continued happiness.

 

Stay strong please rapunzel, you've come so far ,but unfortunately

9 months out is not all that long for a Benzo recovery process....

 

Sadly to say majority of Doctors are clueless , they think more drugs

are the solution......

 

I would urge you to watch this video by Robert Whitaker....

will be an eye opener , hopefully give you some peace of mind too.

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=135774.msg1817534#msg1817534

 

 

Thank you morreweg...I watched this video and I have believed this all my life, especially watching my mother in and out of mental hospitals with bipolar, panic and depression all my life. She is now so medicated at 77 and she STILL thinks more meds, or a different med are the answer. Its absolutely heartbreaking.

 

I am so grateful I had my wake-up call now and I am so done with ALL psychiatric drugs.

I am hopeful for my complete healing and I know it takes time. I will continue to focus on how far I have come at 5 months off, instead of how far I have yet  to go. 

 

Sorry magic, I've missed your post. my Mum always thought meds were

the right answer to any kind of health issues, which is totally wrong in

my opinion now....learned it the hard way.

 

its amazing how naive all of us have been, sometimes I wonder

how this is continueing to happen....unbelievable....

 

way to go love...you are on your way...please.stay strong, right ?

[[se...]]

Lostdog: What I find so miraculous and so empowering (when I let empowerment in, unfortunately, I don't always) is finding a stranger in some far off state, (perhaps)...Someone I will mostly likely never meet, yet this stranger on Benzo Buddies gives me hope where I had next to none. Of course, someone who has had (or is continuing to have) very many similar symptoms as I experience will be somewhat more relatable to me, so this is a great resource for all of us; as one assuredly will find someone to relate here among hundreds of 'fellow travelers.' My symptoms are so similar to yours that I (gratefully) laughed out loud when you said some of your (emissions) resembled aquarium sand, HAHHAHAHA! OMG I know exactly where you are coming from! (So to speak  Dude! You can turn one beautiful phrase! I particularly liked the metaphor you used in saying that your memories would come about like a shuffling deck of cards in the wind? I forgot it exactly, but so, so beautifully put! These memories crop up (some I haven't pondered in years) out of nowhere and go back whence they came just as quickly and mysteriously as they manifested. I treasure them coming at all and I can't wait for me to be able to access my mind again, the mind I used to have. While I was on those wretched pills it wasn't really there, though I guess I was to numbed-out to care. I'm approaching my 7th month off since I jumped from .5 (or more) of the dreaded Klonopin, with about a much-too-quickly 3-month taper before that. And I do have a much beloved dying dog...(I dearly hope yours is still with you, and if not, that you have made some peace with his passing) but that isn't my most wrenching issue, my dear mother appears to be in her last days on earth and this is just taking me under....Also, a dear friend and neighbor is being stricken with dementia and I have to arrange for her to go to a home, as she has no one else. Needless to say, all these dire issues would have me down under the best of circumstances, but as life will have it? They are plaguing me now while I am enduring this terrible, far too prolonged withdrawal. Life doesn't always pay attention to what our circumstances are, unfortunately. On top of it all, I do have a hard time trying to parse out what my symptoms are from the WD? And what I could be experiencing due to a cancer treatment and bone-marrow transplant I experienced 3 years ago now. I had chronic fatigue (perhaps a hormonal problem) even before the cancer, so I'm all over the place in terms of even trying to determine what is due to what.

 

Of course, my greatest hope is that I will have something approaching normal energy once this awful experience is over, though I try my best to go into a kind of acceptance, as shaking my fist at the universe and complaining to it never really has yielded me many results ;-) When you spoke about exhaustion being one of the last symptoms to go, it gave me hope that this utter fatigue I experience will, at least somewhat, abate as well. Please know that last night was a real challenge for me, and you made this woman living in LA so much more hopeful in stating your experiences here...I think you so much for them. Continued good health and happiness to you, and anyone else who might be reading this. On with our lives in peace and health!!!!

[[ca...]]

Bump it up.

[[ja...]]

I have probably read this 100 times. Congrats lost dog , and thanks for giving the rest of us hope.

[[Gr...]]

Lostdog, your story is such an inspiration to ones of us who still go through the healing process.  Thank you so much for sharing.  I joined this site two days ago but searched it for support for many years.  I still have withdrawal symptoms, but as you stated, pay attention to symptoms that are better and not the ones that are still wrong.  I began to compare my symptoms one year ago and six months ago to now, and I can really see a difference.  I think that one reason I decided to join this site officially is to share small successes, and know that one day I can, like you, share a success story of total healing.  I'm so glad you are better. 

[[Mo...]]

Bump.