The Xanax Club, Let Us Know How You Are Feeling Today

[[Di...]]

Mary so very excited for you!  You are going to do great!

 

[[Wo...]]

Hello Club!

 

SS,

  You're enthusiasm is infectious! You are right! It is our ethical obligation to share our experiences with those who are suffering love after we are healed. I love your spirit. My sleep was a little better last night, again, and I am always grateful for that.

 

WW (Mary),

  Mary was my late mother's name. It's a beautiful name. I can't believe you're at the jump gate! I don't blame you for being afraid to open it. Who knows what's on the other side.

 

All you other Club Members,

 

Have an amazing day and keep your chin up! we are right behind Mary and our jump day will come too! Sooner than we think.

 

Take Care,

HM

 

Awwwww…….Thanks HM, you are incredibly sweet. You are right, the unknown scares me because there’s no going back. It’s a catch 22 but I’m sick of living in fear from this crap anymore. We shall see how it goes.

 

Love and hugs,

Mary 

[[Di...]]

HM thankful your sleep was better that always helps so much!

 

[[Wo...]]

Mary so very excited for you!  You are going to do great!

 

Thank you Debbie!! That means so much to me! You are right behind me! Not long for many of us now! It’s exciting and nerve racking at the same time! Fingers crossed!

 

:smitten:

Mary

[[to...]]

I have that same sleep pattern so I think it is probably normal at these lower doses. 

 

I agree.  Yesterday evening I ended up taking a 3 hour nap and when went to bed I did go to sleep and slept for 9 hours.  I will probably end up not sleeping tonight since I got so much sleep last night!  I will take it as it comes. 

 

Hope you are having a good day!

 

Love,

Julia

[[to...]]

Hello my Xanax buddies! How is everyone doing today? I’m hoping you are all hanging in there and doing ok. I started reducing again today. 28% left. 0.07mg left. A measly amount it seems. Some days I feel as if my body is jumping off of this stuff or if there’s so little going in my system anymore. I still dose four times a day six hours apart. I dose at 3am, 9am, 3pm, and 9pm. Sometimes I forget and take it much after the scheduled time. Sometimes I must be sleeping so hard I shut my 3am alarm off and then take it when I happen to wake at different times after that. I try not to do that but it happens from time to time. I’m wondering what’s the recommended jump dose for Xanax? Should I be getting rid of that 3am dose and then try to just sleep through the night (if possible) and dose them all during the awake hours? I can’t possible see a four a day dosing when the milliliters get so low. So many questions! Ugh! I see my doctor Friday for a tapering checkup and she lets me lead my taper so she probably won’t have a solid answer to these questions. I know she did say I should probably start getting ready to get rid of one of my daily doses. I’m just so afraid, but ready to be done, done, done with this medication!!!!  Thinking of you all and sending big hugs to you all! Any advice you have is so welcomed!

 

Love,

Mary 

 

Hi Mary,

Congratulations on only 28% left!  That is great!!

 

This is just my opinion - If it were me, I would cut out the 3am dose and just take doses during the day.  If you are sleeping well and sometimes do not hear your alarm, it sounds like you are doing good!

 

You are at such a low dose (WOW that is awesome) if it were me, if I was not having any issues that I would jump at .0625 - I do not know how you figure that with the liquid. 

 

If you feel good and your cuts are not giving you a lot of WD, you may be ready to jump!  I know you are scared but you will know when you are ready!  If you feel like you need to go lower, then that is what you should do, if you feel you can jump at a higher dose, then I would.  It really depends on how you are doing with WD.  You have been doing so good and you are functioning great!

 

I know it is a hard decision but you will do great no matter what you decide!

 

I am going to wait and see but I am hoping to jump at .0625 or .0312 - it just depends on WD and how I am doing.  The lower we go in dose, the less we are getting of the med in our system.  Sometimes I wonder what the lowest dose we can take and still get any result -

 

Good luck on whatever you decide and we are all here for you.

 

Love,

Julia 

[[to...]]

Hey guys,

I haven't thought about what dose to jump at yet but I sure wish it was time to jump!

 

I have had the worst day I've had in several months.  I got really tired yesterday and last night kids and grands were here for Father's Day.  It was great but I think maybe I'm paying for it today.  I hate it so bad makes me sad and upset that I can't enjoy having them all here like I always did before.  Think if I could cry that would help.

Sorry for the pity party.  Praying I feel better tomorrow.

 

Hope everyone's day was better today.

 

Love and hugs ❤

 

Hi Debbie,

My heart goes out to you!  I hope that today is a much better day for you!!

 

Sometimes too much stimulation will bring on issues.  Right now I stay away from people for the most part.  I feel isolated sometimes but when I am done with this, I will get back to the way I was before.

 

Sending you love and hugs and prayers!

 

Julia 

[[to...]]

I live this group!  Marybeth, Debbie, Mary, HM, Julia, BD…we are all going to succeed.  We are going to be stronger, more humble and sympathetic moving forward.  Marybeth I know you went to grad school, but maybe the life lesson will be your most valuable accomplishment!  You will use this experience throughout your career to help others.

 

I am a believer that all things happen for a reason, there is no such thing as coincidence.  I am forever grateful to have this support through one of the most difficult times in my life.  You ladies are all very strong and supportive.

 

Our celebration is just around the corner!  Today we are one day closer!

 

Hi Laurie,  I agree with you so much!!  I also love this group!  Without all the love and compassion and encouragement and support, this would be so much harder to go through.  I do not think I would have made it this far without BB.

I feel the same way you do - all things happen for a reason and that there are not any coincidences.  We may not understand why this happened to us but it has and we are all stronger and braver than ever before! 

 

I am really for us all to be at the point to celebrate and live life!

 

Love,

Julia

[[to...]]

I live this group!  Marybeth, Debbie, Mary, HM, Julia, BD…we are all going to succeed.  We are going to be stronger, more humble and sympathetic moving forward.  Marybeth I know you went to grad school, but maybe the life lesson will be your most valuable accomplishment!  You will use this experience throughout your career to help others.

 

I am a believer that all things happen for a reason, there is no such thing as coincidence.  I am forever grateful to have this support through one of the most difficult times in my life.  You ladies are all very strong and supportive.

 

Our celebration is just around the corner!  Today we are one day closer!

 

Thank you Laurie! I love this! 

 

Last night I slept right through my 3am dose again and didn’t take it until 6 something this morning. I think it’s time to eliminate that dose. I see my doctor on Friday and I’m betting she’s going to campaign for a jump off. I’ll be at 0.0625 on Friday. I am pretty sure very little medicine is in my system at this point. It’s going to be the mental game now. Convincing myself all is good and I no longer need to take the medication is another thing. We’ll see what she thinks. She’s been a great doctor through this and has let me lead this whole taper while researching everything about the process herself. She has a way of making me feel confident and strong after I see her. Wish me luck. My hubby says he thinks it’s time to jump too but says he agrees with me going lower if I feel that’s best. A huge part of me just wants to be done and over with it. Sometimes I think the little medication I do take makes me feel worse than not having it. Decisions decisions……

 

I hope you are all doing good today and I’m sending love and hugs to you all. Today is my hair appointment day, chiropractor appointment (which my brother in law is who I see or my son) and gunna get some more paint samples for my house. Benjamin Moore and sherwin Williams probably loves me for how many paint cans I buy! Lol 😂

 

Love you ladies! I hope for each of you to have a day that’s as beautiful as each of you are!

 

Mary 

 

Hi Mary - I am so happy for you!!  You are doing so great!  I think you are right that your doctor will want you to jump - but you will know what to do.  It seems like you are doing so well that it may be your time to jump and continue your healing!  No matter what you decide, we are here for you!  I agree that it is the mental part that will be the hard thing to deal with .  After all this time of being on the meds and all the tapering and ups and downs of WD and tapering - it will be quite the adjustment!  But - thousands have done this before us and are now healed and happy and living normal lives again!  It is a blessing to be where you are! 

 

Do what you feel is best for you!

 

Love you lots my friend!

 

Love,

Julia  :hug:

[[Wo...]]

I live this group!  Marybeth, Debbie, Mary, HM, Julia, BD…we are all going to succeed.  We are going to be stronger, more humble and sympathetic moving forward.  Marybeth I know you went to grad school, but maybe the life lesson will be your most valuable accomplishment!  You will use this experience throughout your career to help others.

 

I am a believer that all things happen for a reason, there is no such thing as coincidence.  I am forever grateful to have this support through one of the most difficult times in my life.  You ladies are all very strong and supportive.

 

Our celebration is just around the corner!  Today we are one day closer!

 

Thank you Laurie! I love this! 

 

Last night I slept right through my 3am dose again and didn’t take it until 6 something this morning. I think it’s time to eliminate that dose. I see my doctor on Friday and I’m betting she’s going to campaign for a jump off. I’ll be at 0.0625 on Friday. I am pretty sure very little medicine is in my system at this point. It’s going to be the mental game now. Convincing myself all is good and I no longer need to take the medication is another thing. We’ll see what she thinks. She’s been a great doctor through this and has let me lead this whole taper while researching everything about the process herself. She has a way of making me feel confident and strong after I see her. Wish me luck. My hubby says he thinks it’s time to jump too but says he agrees with me going lower if I feel that’s best. A huge part of me just wants to be done and over with it. Sometimes I think the little medication I do take makes me feel worse than not having it. Decisions decisions……

 

I hope you are all doing good today and I’m sending love and hugs to you all. Today is my hair appointment day, chiropractor appointment (which my brother in law is who I see or my son) and gunna get some more paint samples for my house. Benjamin Moore and sherwin Williams probably loves me for how many paint cans I buy! Lol 😂

 

Love you ladies! I hope for each of you to have a day that’s as beautiful as each of you are!

 

Mary 

 

Hi Mary - I am so happy for you!!  You are doing so great!  I think you are right that your doctor will want you to jump - but you will know what to do.  It seems like you are doing so well that it may be your time to jump and continue your healing!  No matter what you decide, we are here for you!  I agree that it is the mental part that will be the hard thing to deal with .  After all this time of being on the meds and all the tapering and ups and downs of WD and tapering - it will be quite the adjustment!  But - thousands have done this before us and are now healed and happy and living normal lives again!  It is a blessing to be where you are! 

 

Do what you feel is best for you!

 

Love you lots my friend!

 

Love,

Julia  :hug:

 

Awwww thank you so much Julia! You always make me feel better about any situation! You are so special to me and I hold you so close to my heart! Won’t be long and you will be there too! You are knocking on my back door! It’s exciting and nerve racking at the same time, but we got this! Hope you’re having a good day and doing ok with your cut!

 

Love you!

Mary  :smitten:

[[to...]]

Hi Mary,

Thank you!!  You are very special to me as well!  It is exciting and I am SO HAPPY for you!!! 

 

Today has not been the greatest but tolerable.  Earlier I just felt bad all of a sudden and so I laid down for a little bit and could not go to sleep so got on the computer to distract.  I will be ok.....  Got a headache and was off balance.  A little better now. 

 

I hope you are having a good day!

 

Love to you,

Julia 

[[se...]]

Julia, hope you are feeling ok.  Your feeling all your progress.. hugs

 

 

[[to...]]

Julia, hope you are feeling ok.  Your feeling all your progress.. hugs

 

Thanks Laurie! I am doing ok.  I am a little better than I was earlier. 

 

Hope you are doing good on your cut!

 

Love,

Julia 

 

[[se...]]

Mary,

 

Tomorrow is the big day, jump or not to jump??  What did you decide?

[[ba...]]

Hey gang

 

Good to see everyone fighting on.  I am still struggling with my cut, not a surprise. Still waiting for it to stabilize. My last and third dose is just atrocious. It is my lowest dose, and it is horrid. I am waiting for that one to stop giving me so much pain before I start cutting down the other 2 doses. If it's still just as bad in a few weeks, I may  cut a bit, not a lot, from another dose.

 

Everyone be well, keep hanging on, we will all get there.

[[se...]]

BD,

 

So sorry to hear you are struggling with the last cut, I am as well.  This week I have right side abdominal pain and nausea in the early mornings around 2:00 am.  The dizziness has also returned, but I refuse to let it get me down, I am taking it as healing!

 

Just keep moving forward..

[[to...]]

Hi everyone -

 

BD - I too am sorry you are having such a hard time!  I am praying things get better for you!  You deserve healing and I believe it will come.  Hang in there.

 

Laurie - I am sorry your cut has been rough for you this week too.  I hope it all gets better.  I like your positive attitude.  I am having some issues with my cut I made last Sunday but they are not terrible.  Having some interdose WD right before my 3rd dose of the day.  Once I take that dose, I start feeling better.  This will get better!!

 

HM - I hope you are feeling better too! 

 

 

I hope everyone has a better day!

 

Love and hugs and lots of prayers!

Julia 

[[He...]]

Hello everyone,

 

BD, I am sorry to hear you're struggling with your cut. I hope you stabilize soon as I know you plan to cut again in a couple/few weeks even if it's tough.

 

Mary, I am curious to see at what dose you decide to jump. I am still thinking (in a few months) I'll jump at .01 mg. I hope it isn't too high.

 

I had another rough night but I take Shayna78's advice (who also suffers from severe insomnia) to just live my life anyway. I do my best.

 

I hope you all have the best Friday you can have,

 

HM

[[Wo...]]

Hello everyone,

 

BD, I am sorry to hear you're struggling with your cut. I hope you stabilize soon as I know you plan to cut again in a couple/few weeks even if it's tough.

 

Mary, I am curious to see at what dose you decide to jump. I am still thinking (in a few months) I'll jump at .01 mg. I hope it isn't too high.

 

I had another rough night but I take Shayna78's advice (who also suffers from severe insomnia) to just live my life anyway. I do my best.

 

I hope you all have the best Friday you can have,

 

HM

 

Hi HM! I saw my doctor today and we have decided to take it down quite a bit further. I have 50ml left and I decided I’d go down at least another 30ml. That’s the plan anyway. That would be when I have 10% of my original dose left and be at 0.025mg. I could go sooner perhaps but I’m trying to gently jump off if that’s possible. We shall see how it goes. And yes, Shayna is amazing and strong and inspirational. She’s a good one to take advice from. She definitely will have good tools and advice to give. Hope everyone hangs in there and has a decent day.

 

Mary

[[se...]]

HM,

 

I know what it is like not to sleep..UGH. I have been averaging four hours the last few nights.  Hang in there!!

 

Mary, I like your plan!!

[[En...]]

My symptoms are all physical, today I have a headache, dizziness and also I feel the area around the eyes so tired.. is that common?

[[ba...]]

Enzo-

 

Yes. Very common.

 

Here is a partial list of the more common symptoms. Not that you will get them all, and some you may get are not on here. Also, they change. I had very bad vision problems known as floating, when nothing is level for a long time. Gone now. I have new ones in it's place. It's your brain working to repair itself, nothing to be afraid of.

 

http://www.beatingbenzos.com/365527994

[[En...]]

Thanks for your reply! But how is that possible I feel the area around my eyes so tired? Like when you don’t sleep for a lot of hours and you feel sooooo tired

[[ba...]]

These drugs poisoned us and deeply affected our brains. Much of our body relies on a balance of gaba and glutamine to function effectively. When benzo's take that from you, your brain is in distress, and will do any and all kinds of strange things trying to work.

 

Rather than analyze "why this symptom," accept it. It is a manifestation of withdrawal. It's not really worth investigating, because you can't do anything about it. Other weird and even scary symptoms will come. Accept. It is the brain trying to work effectively when it is under attack, and has been as long as we have been on a benzo.

 

It is easy to attach to much importance to a symptom. It is natural, we crave a solution and a remedy.

 

However, the only remedy is to accept, not focus on the why or how to get it rid of it, but see it as your brain working out it's injury. Acceptance is saying x is happening today. I don't understand it. I hate it. But I can't change it, so why waste time dwelling on it. Find a distraction, an activity, anything to put your thinking on other things.

 

It's bad enough that the symptoms dominate us physically, but we can fight back at the continual mental focus through practice.  I do not want to waste any more time than I can bear thinking about symptoms. I do not want to be focused on benzo's and withdraw most of the time, even though I am suffering most of the time.

 

It takes work. There are resources to help you get there. Claire Weeks is good (her entire book is on YouTube)

 

Remind yourself that you are choosing permanent recovery over temporary relief. And it comes with a price. But, it is doable.

 

You need more in your coping tool box to get through. None of us ever has enough aids, like meditation or exercise, so the search for coping skills needs to take precedence over the search for why you feel a certain way.

[[En...]]

Very beautiful post. Thanks