Any pre-benzo chronic anxiety sufferers now completely med free?? If so, how?

[[an...]]

Leigh,

Thank you. It's probably human nature to seek as fast a relief as possible.

[[ma...]]

Like some of you already mentioned, I spent 15, what I consider, wasted years on various medications to help with anxiety.  The SSRI's ended up making matters worse.  I quit taking Paxil back in 2002 without tapering because I was so tired of the sexual side effects, not knowing you should never just stop like that.  I ended up having to quit my job because the w/d from that was every bit as bad as benzos only for a shorter period of time.  That totally messed me up.  After that I became extremely sensitive to SSRIs.  A psychiatrist even diagnosed me as bipolar as a result--wrong!  I've since learned I have GAD, panic/agoraphobia, and Avoidant Personality Disorder, which is a more severe form of social anxiety.

 

I've been plagued with anxiety since I was about 18 years old.  That's when I first experienced panic attacks and agoraphobia.  I wish I would have known back then what was wrong with me.  I just thought I was crazy, so I suffered in silence for a very long time, too ashamed to tell anyone what was going on with me.  No one talked about this stuff back in the 1980's.  It wasn't until the 90's that I first started seeing books on social anxiety.  They still didn't seem to know what to do about it though.

 

I've been doing CBT for the past 6 months or so and it's helping more than any traditional psychotherapy ever did, but I still have a long way to go.  The plus side to therapy is no side effects, the down side is that it takes a really long time to work.  I don't know if I'll ever be able to drive or work full-time again.  I'm severely limited in the type of work I'm able to do.  I worked as a proofreader for most of my adult life because I didn't have to be around people, but now there are no jobs in this field anymore plus I'm bored out of my mind doing it.  I want to challenge myself more, but am too afraid to try something else even though I have a bachelor's degree.  Hope this changes with time.

 

My therapist suggested this book to me, "Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life."  It uses mindfulness and acceptance concepts.  I just requested it from my local library, so I'm waiting to get it--will let you know how it is when I do. 

 

I'm really interested in doing meditation.  I think I  just need to find the right approach for me.  I know I need guided meditation.  If I'm just left to sit in absolute silence my anxiety actually gets worse because my mind won't shut off.  Anyone have any suggestions on what kind of meditation worked for them?  I'd love to know. 

 

Skatty, I wish I had more suggestions for you, but I guess CBT is the best I can come up with.  I also walk for an hour every morning and try to do yoga as often as possible.  Both are pretty helpful.  There are some things I have to avoid like the plague now like alcohol, caffeine, and sugar.  Even too much fruit can send my blood sugar through the roof along with my anxiety.  I always make sure I have nuts with me for snacks because if I go too long without eating my anxiety can act up.  Really wish I weren't so sensitive, but I guess this is me and I have to accept it.

 

Mal

[[sl...]]

I'm kind of wondering the same question too. The only medication I have left to try is lithium and beta blockers. I've tried over 35 psych meds. Klonopin was the last hope effort after having tried every antidepressant and anti-seizure med on the market. I look back at what my anxiety was like pre-klonopin though and wonder why I even stayed on the klonopin. I think that my increased anxiety came same time as stressors so I didn't notice the klonopin having no effect/increasing it.

[[mp...]]

Leigh, you sure have an amazing spirit!  Looks like all you've ever wanted from anybody is a straight answer. You always knew that once you had that right answer, you would do Whatever it took to see yourself through.

 

You are brave and courageous, I admire your tenacity and ability to keep honing it on what's real and what's not. It's not easy, right?

 

M.

[[ma...]]

Leigh,

 

I'm curious as to how long it took for the CBT to start working and are you doing it for a specific type of anxiety?  Like I mentioned earlier I started CBT for social anxiety about 5 months ago and I feel like I'm making some progress, but not enough where I'm ready to go out and interview for a job, go to a party, etc.  I have this weird thing too where I have trouble writing in front of people--a kind of performance anxiety.  Really strange; I'm embarrassed to admit it.

 

I know the 7 years I spent on benzos made my overall anxiety much worse.  I feel like one big raw nerve since jumping off last July 4th.  It's gotten a lot better since then, but I still have a long ways to go.  I hope the CBT starts working soon.

 

Mal

[[an...]]

Malcontent, hang in there. You are still healing. Slow growth is good growth 

 

~stasia

[[ma...]]

Thanks Stasia, I'll try to keep that in mind.  My patience is growing quite thin, and unfortunately so is my wallet.

 

Mal

[[ic...]]

I suffered from GAD and panic attacks beginning in my early 20's (I'm 42). I tried AD's on and off and they helped a little, but Lorazepam in the beginning was like a life saver. After 6 years I tapered and no longer take any meds for anxiety.

 

Wish I had an easy answer, but it took work. A lot of self analyzing. A lot of learning to "live in the moment". Breaking down things into small manageable bites. I never worked so hard and honestly on myself, ever. I needed to retrain my brain essentially. No more negativity, no more "what ifs?". It takes awhile to undo all that harmful fear based thinking, but I beleive it is attainable though, without drugs.

 

As I made it through the taper, I pushed myself to do things and with that came confidence. Confidence brings on the calm inner peace we for some reason we were jipped out of along the way.

 

Being on Lorazepam, being trapped by anxiety and fear is like a prison, and I was just happy to be free and awake and grateful to have been given a second chance at life. Things kind of fell into place once I made the decision to make changes. Instead of avoiding things, facing my fears and taking the bull by the horns as they say was the best "therapy". Once step at a time, and sometimes I had to push myself pretty hard. But nothing compares to that feeling of "Holy crap, I just did that!"

 

Hope this helps, even a little.

[[ma...]]

icandothis,

 

Thanks so much for your post. 

 

I don't know if you read my previous post, but I've lived with GAD and social anxiety all my life. I've also lived a very limited life because of it, but at 53 years old I think I'm finally getting the kind of treatment I should have had back in my 20s.  I just hope it's not too late for me.  I guess that's part of my problem is that I honestly do feel pretty hopeless about my situation, so the motivation is hard to muster.

 

I've been doing CBT for social anxiety and I know I should be challenging and pushing myself more.  The fear is just so incredible that some things seem impossible.  Learning to live in the moment is crucial, and occasionally I can get there, but I've got a long way to go. 

 

Thanks for reminding me that the only way I'm going to overcome my issues is if I work really hard at it and stop avoiding the things that frighten me most. 

 

Mal

[[ti...]]

Malcontent, I so relate to your story...I just wanted to recommend a book to you, "in stillness find peace" by pauline mckinnon...It is and old book but I think it is the best book on agoraphobia and panic I have read.  It recommends stillness meditation...well I find this very hard to do as I can't relax but I did get my one window after trying it.  Good luck, Kathy. 

[[ma...]]

Kathy,

 

Thanks for the recommendation.  I'll look into it.

 

Mal

[[...]]

I think CBT is something you can perform yourself. It's just exposure to things to gradually desensitize yourself. 

 

 

 

[[Le...]]

Leigh, you sure have an amazing spirit!  Looks like all you've ever wanted from anybody is a straight answer. You always knew that once you had that right answer, you would do Whatever it took to see yourself through.

 

You are brave and courageous, I admire your tenacity and ability to keep honing it on what's real and what's not. It's not easy, right?

 

M.

 

Thank You Warmly and Kindly for such a thoughtful compliment.