Tapering off Ativan Support Thread

[[Bi...]]

Wow. Happy to find this years old Ativan club. 

 

I’m about to start tapering a mammoth dose of 10 mgs of Ativan. I take it 5 times a day in 2 mg capsules.

 

I tried two years ago and failed. But I was doing too big of cuts. Now I plan on going slower then a snails pace and do it without focusing on an ending. If it takes ten years. So be it.

 

Anybody else taper that high of a dose? I started it in 2013 at 2mg because I had a rare but serious illness. I recovered about the same time I hit 10 mg in 2016. I’ve been on that dose ever since.

 

Hello and Welcome Iamthelght, (love your handle)

 

We are a very supportive crew here with folks at all different stages in this journey.

 

I don't know about the high dose as I have only been here a few months myself, but wanted to say welcome!

[[Bi...]]

Hi Bibsjo,

 

I'm sorry to hear you are having such a bad wave.  Glad you have come to a place of acceptance, though, and that you took a break from scrolling.  I like the letting go of an agenda, too.  It's so hard to do, isn't it? I had sworn I would be off Ativan for good by the end of this year, but all I can really hope for is to be down to .25 mg by the end of the year, with months of tapering ahead of me, still, probably.  This stuff is so completely awful.

 

I get what you mean about changes to routine, too.  I think with the crazy ups and downs of withdrawal, we all seek as much stability as we can find in the other aspects of our lives. 

 

I'm in a wave, too.  I had hoped, probably stupidly, that maybe I was seeing a pattern where I would get a bit of a window around days 5 and 6 of each cut (because that happened last time), but I actually had the worst fuzziness, brain fog, and general trouble thinking today that I've had in a while.  So now I'm fighting going to dark places where I think the damage is permanent, again.

 

I hope the bright lights and the wave go away for you soon, and that you feel much better all around.

 

Haimona

 

Hai,

 

Thanks for your support! I'm feeling a lot better today with the exception of some muscle soreness, and I slept a lot better last night than I have in a while. The wave started on Friday, and it is much less severe today. If I have a decent night I will move ahead with my taper tomorrow.

 

I have found that acceptance really helps. My acupuncturist has helped me see things from a Taoist perspective which has been so interesting and helpful. She encourages me to accept what is happening with me in the moment and not resist. It's a hard concept, but if I think about it, fighting and resisting the waves don't make them any better for me.

 

My memory and cognition were terrible when I was reducing from .5 mg down to .20. When I switched to a liquid compound I noticed an almost immediate dramatic improvement in all of my symptoms. The severe cognitive problems resolved, and my memory is dramatically improving.

 

So don't believe the lies this drug is telling you about your mental state. You are incredibly strong for making it here and I know you will complete this in time. I know it feels like they keep moving the goal posts, and that is exhausting. I made it to the other side of that and I know that you will too.

 

Take good care of yourself!

~Bibsjo

[[2c...]]

Bibsjo

 

Thanks for your last post.  It was encouraging to me too.  I just read something the other day about acceptance.  It’s hard to not resist but I’m getting there slowly.  I have a good ways to go yet on my taper  and even though I’ve only been on here a short time, I’ve gotten a lot of encouragement and a “calming” from everyone.

 

I’m glad to hear you had a good experience switching to a liquid when you got to a low dose.  I have been wondering if that is something I would try when I get to that point. Also glad to hear that you have had some improvement.

[[Ha...]]

 

Hai,

 

Thanks for your support! I'm feeling a lot better today with the exception of some muscle soreness, and I slept a lot better last night than I have in a while. The wave started on Friday, and it is much less severe today. If I have a decent night I will move ahead with my taper tomorrow.

 

I have found that acceptance really helps. My acupuncturist has helped me see things from a Taoist perspective which has been so interesting and helpful. She encourages me to accept what is happening with me in the moment and not resist. It's a hard concept, but if I think about it, fighting and resisting the waves don't make them any better for me.

 

My memory and cognition were terrible when I was reducing from .5 mg down to .20. When I switched to a liquid compound I noticed an almost immediate dramatic improvement in all of my symptoms. The severe cognitive problems resolved, and my memory is dramatically improving.

 

So don't believe the lies this drug is telling you about your mental state. You are incredibly strong for making it here and I know you will complete this in time. I know it feels like they keep moving the goal posts, and that is exhausting. I made it to the other side of that and I know that you will too.

 

Take good care of yourself!

~Bibsjo

 

Thank you for those encouraging words, Bibsjo! I pray you are right.  I am so curious to know, do you think your memory and cognition improved specifically because you switched to a liquid compound? or was it because the dose became consistent with the liquid compound? or was it because the dose got under a certain number? I would try with all my might to switch to liquid (my doctor didn't think he could prescribe it that way but I would look for another doctor that would, or try to do it myself) if that would have a good chance of clearing up my cognitive issues.  Because in addition to scaring the bleep out of me, they are making it incredibly hard to function at work, or enjoy life in any meaningful way.

 

Thanks,

 

Haimona

[[Ha...]]

 

Hai,

 

Thanks for your support! I'm feeling a lot better today with the exception of some muscle soreness, and I slept a lot better last night than I have in a while. The wave started on Friday, and it is much less severe today. If I have a decent night I will move ahead with my taper tomorrow.

 

I have found that acceptance really helps. My acupuncturist has helped me see things from a Taoist perspective which has been so interesting and helpful. She encourages me to accept what is happening with me in the moment and not resist. It's a hard concept, but if I think about it, fighting and resisting the waves don't make them any better for me.

 

My memory and cognition were terrible when I was reducing from .5 mg down to .20. When I switched to a liquid compound I noticed an almost immediate dramatic improvement in all of my symptoms. The severe cognitive problems resolved, and my memory is dramatically improving.

 

So don't believe the lies this drug is telling you about your mental state. You are incredibly strong for making it here and I know you will complete this in time. I know it feels like they keep moving the goal posts, and that is exhausting. I made it to the other side of that and I know that you will too.

 

Take good care of yourself!

~Bibsjo

 

Not sure why my reply ended up in the quote box with Bibsjo's quote, so I am trying again.  Sorry!

 

Thank you for those encouraging words, Bibsjo! I pray you are right.  I am so curious to know, do you think your memory and cognition improved specifically because you switched to a liquid compound? or was it because the dose became consistent with the liquid compound? or was it because the dose got under a certain number? I would try with all my might to switch to liquid (my doctor didn't think he could prescribe it that way but I would look for another doctor that would, or try to do it myself) if that would have a good chance of clearing up my cognitive issues.  Because in addition to scaring the bleep out of me, they are making it incredibly hard to function at work, or enjoy life in any meaningful way.

 

Thanks,

 

Haimona

[[Ha...]]

Sorry, trying a third time.  Sigh.

 

Thank you for those encouraging words, Bibsjo! I pray you are right.  I am so curious to know, do you think your memory and cognition improved specifically because you switched to a liquid compound? or was it because the dose became consistent with the liquid compound? or was it because the dose got under a certain number? I would try with all my might to switch to liquid (my doctor didn't think he could prescribe it that way but I would look for another doctor that would, or try to do it myself) if that would have a good chance of clearing up my cognitive issues.  Because in addition to scaring the bleep out of me, they are making it incredibly hard to function at work, or enjoy life in any meaningful way.

 

Thanks,

 

Haimona

 

 

[[...]]

Dropped from 0.03mg to 0.02mg and I am here to tell you that you can get severe anxiety, depression, breathing problems, insomnia from the drop.  I really cant believe what I am feeling at this low level of drug.

 

I texted my doctor yesterday stating my disbelief and he said, “ I know, it’s hard to believe there is a physiologic impact, but in the end, whether physiologic or psychologic the symptoms are real.”

 

Nice to have his support but he is starting to think this is psychological.  I dont know what to think.  Only a few more weeks to go until I run out of drug to be able to cut.

 

How is everyone?  Seeing some new faces.  Welcome.

 

 

[[Di...]]

Needing some support for Ativan taper.  I crossed over from dry cutting to liquid 3 weeks ago.  Tapered from .625 mg to .562 mg 2 weeks go.  Thought the 10% cut would be easier but having rough days the last week I guess so much for wanting to cut at 2 weeks.  :'(

Thank you, Dianedeedee

[[...]]

Hey Dianedeedee.  I can only speak to my experience in hope that it helps.  I’m on liquid too.  There were some cuts at 10% where the anxiety was high but managable and some cuts where I didnt know if I could last the next 10 mins.  Some cuts I got over within days and others that took weeks.  This last cut was brutal for me and I am taking droplets. 

 

In the end I was able to keep going.  I stay busy trying to distract myself every minute of every day.  You can do this!  You will do this!  We will be healed from this!

[Guest [...]]

I'm trying to move to liquid right now and suffering badly!!!

 

I tried to move to all does liquid, but after a week, I'm just dying with every crazy wd symptom possible (muscle twitching, tight band headaches, high anxiety around 2:30, hypersensitive to sound, memory problems, cognition issues - troubling as I have two engineering degrees and I can't remember anything, dizzy, heart rate issues, trouble walking, burning mouth, teeth hurt)

 

I was on a sublingual pill, so I know that moving to the liquid is a drop in dose around 10-20%, so I may have to actually increase my dose to get relief!

 

I'm basically bedridden and non-functional, so I'd like to be a bit better than that!

 

Maybe try a little smaller cuts Dianedeedee

 

Once I get a bit more stable I would like to try a DLMT.

 

JBen - you're almost there, congrats, - you can do it.

 

WinnieDog

[[Gi...]]

Dropped from 0.03mg to 0.02mg and I am here to tell you that you can get severe anxiety, depression, breathing problems, insomnia from the drop.  I really cant believe what I am feeling at this low level of drug.

 

I texted my doctor yesterday stating my disbelief and he said, “ I know, it’s hard to believe there is a physiologic impact, but in the end, whether physiologic or psychologic the symptoms are real.”

 

Nice to have his support but he is starting to think this is psychological.  I dont know what to think.  Only a few more weeks to go until I run out of drug to be able to cut.

 

How is everyone?  Seeing some new faces.  Welcome.

 

You're so close!  My doctor also found it hard to believe that I could have sx at low doses.  Today is day nine since I jumped.  I had 32 tablets left over.  I got rid of them.  I didn't want to be tempted to take a rescue dose.

 

Dianedeedee,  I was never able to cut 10%.  This year even 1% was very troublesome.  I thought I just needed to be off so I jumped last week.  G.

[[Di...]]

That is wonderful Gingermint!!!

[[...]]

Dropped from 0.03mg to 0.02mg and I am here to tell you that you can get severe anxiety, depression, breathing problems, insomnia from the drop.  I really cant believe what I am feeling at this low level of drug.

 

I texted my doctor yesterday stating my disbelief and he said, “ I know, it’s hard to believe there is a physiologic impact, but in the end, whether physiologic or psychologic the symptoms are real.”

 

Nice to have his support but he is starting to think this is psychological.  I dont know what to think.  Only a few more weeks to go until I run out of drug to be able to cut.

 

How is everyone?  Seeing some new faces.  Welcome.

 

You're so close!  My doctor also found it hard to believe that I could have sx at low doses.  Today is day nine since I jumped.  I had 32 tablets left over.  I got rid of them.  I didn't want to be tempted to take a rescue dose.

 

Dianedeedee,  I was never able to cut 10%.  This year even 1% was very troublesome.  I thought I just needed to be off so I jumped last week.  G.

 

How are you geeling after your jump Gingermint?  Day 9.  Wow.  Congrats!!

[[Di...]]

Winniedog I'm so sorry you are struggling.  When I crossed over to liquid I did it by switching out one dose of dry to liquid a couple days on each dose before I completely went to liquid.  Hope you feel better soon. 

Dianedeedee

[Guest [...]]

Thanks DDD

 

It is truly unbearable - the pain is something else!!

 

How are you symptoms, other than anxiety?

 

I so wish that I had the chance to do a proper taper.....my biggest regret!

 

You're doing great!!

 

WD

[[Di...]]

Winniedog the anxiety is the worst, I have some digestive issues, headaches and crying spells.  Windows are very small but at least I get a peek.

[Guest [...]]

do your headaches feel like a tight band around your head?

 

Honestly, I can't deal with those....it's so hard.

 

I have an icepack permanently on my head, even sleep with it on.

 

I really don't know how to get off these meds....it a horror show!

 

Just a few weeks ago, it was more manageable, but now.....

 

My poor kids, I wail in pain and the crying - oh man, I've never cried so much.......

 

I just can't believe a human being could feel this much pain!!!!

 

I just can't seem to move off of the sublingual Ativan - it gets absorbed directly into your bloodstream, so whenever I try to move to another form, it's like a drop in dose etc.

 

Take care,

WinnieDog

 

[[Di...]]

Oh bless your heart my headaches are nothing like yours I am so sorry.  Prayers for you.

Hang in there. 

Dianedeedee 💕

[[Gi...]]

Dropped from 0.03mg to 0.02mg and I am here to tell you that you can get severe anxiety, depression, breathing problems, insomnia from the drop.  I really cant believe what I am feeling at this low level of drug.

 

I texted my doctor yesterday stating my disbelief and he said, “ I know, it’s hard to believe there is a physiologic impact, but in the end, whether physiologic or psychologic the symptoms are real.”

 

Nice to have his support but he is starting to think this is psychological.  I dont know what to think.  Only a few more weeks to go until I run out of drug to be able to cut.

 

How is everyone?  Seeing some new faces.  Welcome.

 

You're so close!  My doctor also found it hard to believe that I could have sx at low doses.  Today is day nine since I jumped.  I had 32 tablets left over.  I got rid of them.  I didn't want to be tempted to take a rescue dose.

 

Dianedeedee,  I was never able to cut 10%.  This year even 1% was very troublesome.  I thought I just needed to be off so I jumped last week.  G.

 

How are you geeling after your jump Gingermint?  Day 9.  Wow.  Congrats!!

 

JBen,

Surprisingly I'm doing okay.  I thought it would be much worse.  I just have my usual sx, mild to moderate (so far) and some nice windows.  I really expected acute for a month.  I don't know if that can still happen or not.  Day 6 was the worst but even that day ended with a nice window.  Thank you for asking.  Ginger

 

 

[[Gi...]]

Thanks DDD

 

It is truly unbearable - the pain is something else!!

 

How are you symptoms, other than anxiety?

 

I so wish that I had the chance to do a proper taper.....my biggest regret!

 

You're doing great!!

 

WD

Winnie,

I'm so sorry you are suffering so.  If I may ask, why do you not have the chance to do a proper taper?  A friend of mine was yanked off a two year 1 mg per day of ativan a year ago.  He was tapered, if you can call it that, for two weeks.  He went through a rough time for two months but since has improved and is doing fine. 

 

I hope you get some relief soon.  Ginger

[[Bi...]]

Sorry, trying a third time.  Sigh.

 

Thank you for those encouraging words, Bibsjo! I pray you are right.  I am so curious to know, do you think your memory and cognition improved specifically because you switched to a liquid compound? or was it because the dose became consistent with the liquid compound? or was it because the dose got under a certain number? I would try with all my might to switch to liquid (my doctor didn't think he could prescribe it that way but I would look for another doctor that would, or try to do it myself) if that would have a good chance of clearing up my cognitive issues.  Because in addition to scaring the bleep out of me, they are making it incredibly hard to function at work, or enjoy life in any meaningful way.

 

Thanks,

 

Haimona

 

Hai,

 

I went through many extremely difficult waves during my taper, and even now am recovering from a severe wave that included extreme light sensitivity.

 

I think that my memory and cognition improved for several reasons, but most importantly because I chose to believe that it would. In September when I had to think how to put on my shoes, or turn on the shower, or how to use a key to open a door, I still always believed that it would be a temporary issue and that I would recover 100% or better. I did not allow myself to dwell on the fear and was super kind to myself and congratulated myself everyday for keeping with it despite my suffering.

 

I noticed a huge change in all of my symptoms when I switched to liquid. I think this just made it easier for my body to handle at a consistent dose twice a day. I was more stable. My memory and cognition did improve but it could be because I had stabilized on this consistent twice a day dose. It made most of but not all of the reductions much less severe. But then my memory and cognition could have improved because of the lower amount of lorazepam. It is impossible to know. Regardless, I think it would be super helpful for you to believe that you will heal. Try to focus your mind towards belief that you will heal and away from fear. I know this is so hard to do. I believe in you. I believe you will heal.

 

One more thing that is Huge for me is that my Celebrate Recovery group has been praying me through this. I realized that I could do the best I could in my taper, but my symptoms were completely out of my control. I also spend 90 minutes each morning beginning at 5 Am in worship, breath work, movement and meditation. I am religious about taking care of myself this way. I really feel that my recovery to this point has been a mindset and a spiritual journey.

 

Hai, I am praying that you will start believing you will heal:)

- Bibsjo

[[Ha...]]

Bibsjo,

 

Wow, that is really amazing how you have been able to prioritize your morning ritual of prayer and meditation and movement, and stay positive and help yourself to heal.  I have so much respect for that! 

 

I think I know what you mean, as I try really hard to keep repeating to myself, "you are healing," whenever I forget something or have a cognitive issue (which is often).  Sometimes I can believe that, and sometimes I get into a depressed mindset where I feel like this has been going on so long, this is how it's always going to be now.  It's hard to keep the faith sometimes.  Sometimes the best I can do is say, "give yourself the best chance to heal," figuring that things like eating healthy, going for walks, and being hopeful are things I can do to give myself the best chance to heal, in the event that is a possibility.  Sometimes I just pray for healing, or use these meditation statements: "May I be well, be happy, be safe, be at peace." 

 

I imagine it would be really helpful to have a group supporting and praying for you during this awful time.  I have told a few friends about what I'm going through, but I don't think they really get it, or certainly not from the inside.

 

Anyway, I really really appreciate your support and your encouraging words, Bibsjo.  It means a lot.

 

Haimona

[[Di...]]

Trying to push through and make since of all this. Doc started me on buspirone 20 mg/day Oct 1 also did a 16.67% cut on Oct 2 took me 7 weeks to stabilize.  Next cut 10% on Nov 21 didn't feel w/d till week later been feeling pretty rough the last couple weeks.  Doc wanted me to increased buspirone to 30 mg/day on Nov 3 but I didn't.  Not sure if it's the buspirone or my cuts are catching up with me.😥

[[te...]]

Congratulations gingermint !!!!

[[Gi...]]

Congratulations gingermint !!!!

Thank you tech21.  I'm happy to be done.  I never thought I would get to this  point.  Now I'm just waiting out the healing.  Ginger