Tapering off Ativan Support Thread

[[Ki...]]

It is strange isn't it, Mark. This whole thing just blows my mind really.

[[Sh...]]

Yes Kiddo it sure is! believe it or not i find it a distraction that works for me.  I am in amazement that such a messed up drug exists and that it is still being prescribed.

 

I also teach a course on Thriving on Uncertainty.  This experience has taken the course to a new level.  It used to mean one thing when external circumstances are uncertain...but when internal circumstances are for the most part hit and miss and totally uncertain...it has forced me to practice what i preach. It has also found all the little corners i ised to hide in that i was not aware i hid in and said to me "come out... come out where ever you are" 

There is literally no place to hide on this stuff.

 

We gotta walk this one with constant awareness.  It is like a hard core Zen school where if your teacher sees you not in focus he cracks you with a bamboo cane on top of the head. Or like the nuns in Catholic school rapping my knuckles with a ruler :-)

 

My game is to use this experience to build will power and awareness so when i do get better they will work that much better to get what i want in life and live it to the fullest. If i can begin to do it on this stuff...should be a breeze when off of it.

 

I wish that for you and the rest of the people suffering on these dreadful drugs!

 

Blessings 

[[Sh...]]

Just in case anyone was interested in reading about the med student who used Niaminicide to get off Benzos withdrawal free

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=89934.msg1194484#msg1194484

 

[[Si...]]

MSG sends me into a wave quicker than anything and makes me feel like crap for days. I've had alcohol a few times and even though it can make me feel bad, it's nowhere near as bad as MSG. Lucklly it's mostly only typically an additive in Asian takeout food, so somewhat easy to avoid.

[[wa...]]

Good Morning to Everyone, All of you are the Greatest !!!!!!!!

 

I woke up at 3am, got out of bed . I did journal for a while. Tried to lay back down but was worse. I'm in another  wave again !

It's been  8 days since my 1/16 cut.  I will hold longer.

I fear early morning darkness. I don't understand  as this has been going on for a year. I just started tapering May 1st. So is it  an Ativan problem?  Why can't I just stay asleep ? It brings on a wave , I get depressed and feel I don't want to go on. Mid  morning I start to pull out of it. Is this common for this to happen ? I'm so toxic to this drug. It causes more anxiety but when I make a cut I feel like I'm in hell. Nothing makes any since to me. I go to bed at 10pm . I've tried later but still up at 3-4am I have to find a way to break this cycle before I go crazy.

  I stayed away from sugar  because it is bad for my liver diseases. Now I want it and having a hard time staying off of it. It does make me have heart palps I noticed.  I feel like I'm so strung out. NO MORE SUGAR FOR ME !

 

My BB's has made such a difference in my life . I want you to know how much I appreciate everyone of you !

 

 

 

[[Sa...]]

Aweigh,thank you so much for posting the liquid formulation! I hope your taper is going well!

 

Siggy , I remember you said you'd feel healed when you could have a few drinks! I'm glad you seem to see some progress. I'm clearly not able to do this myself, but it's early days!

 

Warrior, I'm so sorry...it truly is terrible to wake up that early and feel dreadful for hours until you have some relief. Is it an actual fear of the darkness or simply waking too early? I have trouble with the dark. I seem disoriented somehow...very strange but it's been there from the start for me.

 

Yes, it's tough to know what's happening. Bad either way...maybe try the vitamin C for the cortisol or taking an OTC sleep aid. I hesitate to mention this. It's a very personal choice. I've alternated using melatonin and half a Unisom to manage my sleep post jump. I really didn't want to do this, but I was having too much trouble and finally gave in.

 

Yes, this forum is wonderful, isn't it! I'd have been so lost without it. I hope the early morning waking turns around soon. You're doing a great job

 

Saga

[[wa...]]

Saga,

I actually have had the fear of darkness only in early mornings now. That is when the anxiety sets in. I'm just fearful about it . I will talk to my therapist about it . 

When I was young it was fear of darkness anytime and anxiety.  I have to be careful what I take because of my liver. Benadryl makes me hyper , can you believe that ? 

Have a beautiful day to all !

Peace Be With  All Of You !

Warrior

 

[[Ki...]]

Warrior - I'm sorry this happening to you.....please know that early morning wakings are VERY common as are feeling bad in the mornings and having it burn off as the day progresses. My mornings have been a struggle since day 1. In my opinion, this isn't a wave, it's just the natural progression of withdrawal. I hope you find some relief. Thinking about you 

[[ju...]]

Judy - I think 750 is the cap. I just had to adjust my signature and take things out. Just kept it neat and simple 

 

 

Thanks for the reply Kiddo and ATU. I'll make the adjustments to my signiture line. Appreciate your help!

[[wa...]]

  Kiddo I had no idea about the early mornings. I wonder if anyone has any ideas that has helped them through this. Funny though I had early mornings a year before I started my taper. I bet that was Ativan making me so anxious.

I'm so sorry you deal with this everyday too. Well I guess all we can do is ride it out !!!!!!!!!

[[Ki...]]

Judy - look at you.....new signature and down to .92mg. That a girl    How are you feeling symptom wise?

 

Warrior - I'm glad you found some relief in knowing that it's a common symptom. Yes, for 7 months I've had terrible, anxiety and dread filled, mornings. It's pretty gross, but won't stop me from my goal to be free. I try and get out of bed immediately upon waking and distract or Ilist things I'm grateful for while laying in bed still. Sometimes I stay in bed but get onto the laptop right away and check out Facebook of the forum. Anything to occupy my thoughts. I'm lucky in the senses that my gross mornings usually burn off by about 11-12 everyday.

 

Cosmic - how are things going with you?

[[wa...]]

Kiddo, I will stay strong like you !  Mine burn off around the same time as yours, interesting !  I will follow your lead my friend.

I just can not believe the love that comes from BB. What wonderful compassionate people you all are to care so much !

Peace, Warrior

[[ju...]]

Judy - look at you.....new signature and down to .92mg. That a girl    How are you feeling symptom wise?

 

Warrior - I'm glad you found some relief in knowing that it's a common symptom. Yes, for 7 months I've had terrible, anxiety and dread filled, mornings. It's pretty gross, but won't stop me from my goal to be free. I try and get out of bed immediately upon waking and distract or Ilist things I'm grateful for while laying in bed still. Sometimes I stay in bed but get onto the laptop right away and check out Facebook of the forum. Anything to occupy my thoughts. I'm lucky in the senses that my gross mornings usually burn off by about 11-12 everyday.

 

Cosmic - how are things going with you?

 

Thanks Kiddo: I've only made very small cuts to start with since I have been going through the "start Up" anxiety from Zoloft. Which seems to be winding down. So I haven't had any real  ativan withdrawal symptoms thus far that I can tell. Seemed to have developed some Tinnitus however(started prior to taper) (have read that most of the meds I've been tried on can cause it (ototoxic) and some literature says some of them are used to treat it!) I have peroidically taken small dose of Trazadone or Doxy for sleep since my sleep has been terrible ever since my surgery. Will consult with my G.P. re: this since I'm thinking I should see an ENT or at least an audiologist for some testing. Did you or Saga have tinnitus ? If so how did you deal with it? Had an initial CBT appt. with a wonderful psychologist last week which went well. Thanks for your encouragement. Continue to say healing prayers for you and everyone on this forum.

[[wa...]]

Judy  I have tinnitus a large amount of the time. I try not to focus on it, but sometimes its so loud.  I pray you will get some relief !    Be Strong !

Have a wonderful day !

  Warrior

[[ju...]]

Judy  I have tinnitus a large amount of the time. I try not to focus on it, but sometimes its so loud.  I pray you will get some relief !    Be Strong !

Have a wonderful day !

  Warrior

 

Thanks Warrior. Yes, I definately try not to focus on it  . Since this is new to me I was a little freaked out when this started ( a pulsating cricket noise and a faint jackhammer noise in background) . I have been reading up on the Tinnitus support thread and have gotten some tips from there as well.Have a great day.

[[Sa...]]

Oh Judy, tinnitus is my companion...it comes and goes and sometimes is deafening. I've never seen rhyme or reason or any pattern to it. All these drugs can actually cause it, you're right. I don't believe an ENT could do anything about it. I simply ignore it as best I can...and yes, I had some as well before my taper...

 

I'm glad your CBT is going well! Glad you're having minimal sxs!

[[wa...]]

I slept last night !    I was  told  about Benadryl . I took a whole one but when I decide to do it again I will only take 1/2 of a pill. But will only do it when it gets real bad.  My hubby had to wake me up. Wow that was great.

 

Fear is a waste of precious time  !

Warrior

[[Ki...]]

Judy - I'm so happy to here about your CBT appointment, a GOOD therapist is key to finding healthy ways to deal with stress/anxiety/fear. I'm sorry about your tinnitus. At this point that's been the only symptom I haven't had to deal with very much. I get the odd, low level, buzzing but it never lasts longer than an hour and doesn't happen very often. I'm sorry I can't help it offer suggestions but I'm glad you are finding some info on the tinnitus thread. 

 

Warrior - YAY sleep!!!! That's great. Sleep is imperative to this as we all know. I don't know what I'll  do if/when my sleep deteriorates. For now 95% of the time it's good and I am ever so happy about that. I'm glad BBF's suggestion helped you. Onwards an upwards, my friend 

 

Cosmic - I'm a little worried that we haven't heard from you for a few days. You hanging in there? Thinking/worried about you...... 

[[Sh...]]

Hey all!

 

Hope all are progressing well.

 

I had a different experience yesterday afternoon.

Morning was kind of rough but then all of a sudden i felt pretty good for about 5 hours

almost like before i was ever on these drugs. No pain or sxs except for some slight visual disturbances

 

Is this called a window?

 

Not really feeling it this AM but it sure made me feel better psychologically

 

Helps with hope!

[[Ki...]]

Hi Mark - sure sounds like a WINDOW to me. Those little tastes of normalcy are so good for the soul. That's what we are going to feel like once we are healed.....that's what we're going through this for. The fact that you are getting windows at all should be very encouraging. I'm happy for you 

[[Sh...]]

Thanks Kiddo!

 

Still feeling fairly decent but not like yesterday. Wondering if i might be stabilizing a bit.

 

Wondering about cutting or c/o now.

 

Its tough thinking about doing anything different once these windows appear

[[Ki...]]

Mark - ain't that the truth!!!! Well, it's all ebb and flow, up and down, in and and out. Nothing about this makes sense. Sounds to me like you are finally stabilizing. Maybe hold for a few days and see how you're feeling before you decide about a cross-over or hold for a few days and then try another drop with Ativan and see how it goes. I think it's very possible that you just weren't stable yet 

[[Ki...]]

Has anyone heard from Cosmic? I'm feeling a little worried, probably needlessly, but he was really struggling the last few times he posted.

[[aw...]]

Kiddo:

That's very kind of you. You can see what folks are up to by going into "members" and searching under their name. You can read their posts, and see the date of their latest activity. Also send them a PM (private message). Which tells me, Cosmic, that you've been lurking around lately, even though you haven't posted for a while.

 

Perfectly permissible, and your buddies might worry about you. You OK, Cosmic? 

 

Aweigh

[[wa...]]

Good Morning Everyone,

  I cut my morning dose by 1/16th August 12th.  I slept in till 4:45am which was great and with no Benadryl . I woke up with a nervous stomach which is new . Is that part of it too ? Not hungry. I'm wondering when things will go down hill. I will see if I see a pattern since I've been doing the 1/16 th  cut. I must stay upbeat !

How is everyone else doing ?        Being in windows would be good !

 

Kiddo I'm still thinking about the beautiful ,peaceful pictures you shared with all of us. You have a heart of gold 

 

Saga  , You went through hell and back . You still went to work.  Dealing with all the people ,cutting, coloring hair. Your amazing. 

 

Beth, You are such a great friend. You have eased my fears. Knowing we are cutting our doses the same and at about the same mgs. and times. That is very comforting to me .

 

To all the BBs that write such  Inspiring words . It sure keeps us going in the right direction .

 

I don't mean to forget people 's names but I do. I will write them on paper to help my benzo brain. Everyone here is so special. Thank you for making me feel welcome. I felt very hopeless until I found all of you. I just want you to know I appreciate and care about everyone here 

 

Don't windows feel great ! More and More of them coming!

Warrior