Wild Soul, Running Free

[[Wi...]]

 

  yeah Beeper ...I gotta say my attitude is much better today....sure hope it stays that way.... :) :)

[[ca...]]

hi nola so glad to here you are feeling more possitive hope you continue to feel that way love to you caral   

[[Wi...]]

  welll luv back to ya Caral...I am currently having sx's because it is about time for my daily dose..but I am still positive .....thanks for the encouragement...

 

 

                                                                your buddy...  Nola  :)

[[Wi...]]

 

 

    Hey Buddies

 

      well I started taking the antibiotics on Monday and went to see regular doc today because I am still having pain in my lymphnode on right side...He said it was inflamed ..he checked my ear and told me it didn't look like a staph infection or anything so that is good..I have been freaking out thinking I may have that....he gave me a script for steroids and some more Bactrim(antibiotic)...he said steroids would help  it drain and would be good for the inflammation but could make me a little nevous though.. I told him I was coming off of valium and said that was really good ...I told the nurse that I was really easy to panic right now and needed to know what was going on ( she know my situation too) and she said she understood....I really had a good visit with them today....I just  hope this goes away soon as the pain is annoying and sometimes I think the worst like all the what if's..especially when the w/d sx's get bad ..The OCD kicks in.. ..

  Still in good spirits here though...still hanging on........... thanks 

 

                                                                              Nola

[[Be...]]

Hi, Nola.

 

I'm glad your doctor visit went well.  Just want to caution you about the steroids.  I occasionally have to take a short (10-day) course of them (prednisone) when my asthma goes wild and it revs me WAY UP!  I mean not sleeping for 3 days at a time.  You might want to consult your pharmacist or do some research before taking them.  At least the antibiotic is not one of those notorious quinolones; that's a blessing.

[[Wi...]]

 

 

      Yeah he told me it would make me a bit nervous...I have had a steroid shot before or a corticosteroid shot..well something like that. you know what I mean...still having pain in my right lymphnode though and it bothers me something awful..it comes and goes though ...not constant....

  I still haven't took the steroid though....working up to that if need be.hope I won't need it ya know?

  thanks for the heads up on that.. I sure don't need anymore nervousness thats for sure....

 

                          Nola

[[Wi...]]

  Hi buddies.

 

Well I did say I would report on the herbal tinctures that my friend has made for me..Ok here it goes...

NOT a good experience for me with the st.johns wort.....for depression...I took 1/2 dropperful and it made me very nervous and anxious..I took a benedryl thinking I may be allergic to something in it...and lied down for a nap hoping to feel better ..I woke up aound 8:00 pm and my whole body felt numb..felt like anxiety coming on too...so I ate something and took my valium and then it happened ..full blown nonstop panic! :o

  I dealt with it for about 2 hours then finally broke down and went to the ER..

My chest was so tight and the back of my head was so tense and tingly that I though I was gonna lose it ..

My blood pressure was 186/95 ..so the nurse came in and gave me a benedryl shot...whoo hoo...like that is gonna help..I told them my situation that I had took the herbal tincture and all and thats when my sx's started..

Yeah yeah ok...they still wasn't taking me seriously and gave me the shot in hopes to send me on my way...

well no such luck..my b/p went up to 197/102 shortly after that....they came back in a gave me a b/p med called clonidine 2mg and waited about 45minutes and came back to check on me...my bp had only went down to 189/89  and they sent me home ...told me that it would have to wear off and to try to get some rest...yeah like that was really gonna happen for me...I hit the cold air outside and immediately started to shiver and shake..mind you my hubby had to come and get me as they would not let me drive home...so I shiver and shake like having fits until I get home ..I crawl into bed exhausted and cold onto a heating pad and fell asleep only to awaken many times in the night with more panic but I manage to go back to sleep for a while...

Well morning greeted me with more anxiety and no car to go anywheres as my hubby had to go to work.....

I called my dad to come and take me to get my car...took a small dose of valium...then it hit me again....full blown panic..chest tightness radiating up into my throat and my left shoulder...I at this point had more than I could bear...I was all alone and no way to go anywhere..so I called 911 and they came out to check on me...(I felt really stupid for doin this too)

  Told em the whole story yada yada yada....the whole nine yards...I literally felt like I had took a hit of speed or something...I could not rest at all...but by the time they came I had already took a benedryl and a half of a blood pressure pill so my sx's were at least tolerable...the EMT though that st.johns wort was for warts!!

showed me how educated he was about that!...I said no....It was for depression and I had took it before a long time ago ...didn't think it would affect me like this...he said he didn't think any of my sx's were life threatening as my bp was normal when he checked it but my chest was still so tight....so needless to say I have not had a good day or was last night any fun at all...I finally took a whole 2.5mg of valium to see what that did..and it calmed me down this time...I was exhausted after being in full blown panic all day...but I went ahead and took a b-complex and a magnesium pill as I though my body needed it..it was only then did I get to feeling better...

 

        Lesson I learned was ..I am allergic to a lot of stuff now...my body is not like it used to be...The gal who sent it too me is dumbfounded and very sorry this happened to me..she said she knows many people who take this and it does well for them while taking the benzos....I wish so badly I could take it...she got her mom off of prozac by taking the ST.johns wort...I just gotta realize that I am different than most people...I can't take lexapro or wellbutrin without going to the ER either and I am not willing to try anything else at this time either..I will deal with the depression that goes along with the w/d..it is at least expected and I know it can't get any worse than what I have went through the past 24 hours...thank GOD for that..

 

  I will do some cleansing later on when my body can handle it though and continue to get my health back somehow but right now for me is not the time....I hope one day I will have success in this..my liver has to be in bad shape to not be able to detpxify certain meds or herbs and my intolerence to caffeine is another clue to liver dysfunction...or the benzos have really took their toll on it one...nevertheless  I gotta get healthy one way or another and get my life back.......

 

  just my experience ...I am in no way expressing my views that st.johns wort would not work for someone else

at all ...just not for me...it is like anything else one ingests into their body ..it might work great for them but for me it usually doesn't so I have come to believe in what does work for me and concentrate on that and what doesn't well...I just do without it..

 

 

                      peace and blessings to all the buddies...              Nola

[[Wi...]]

 

  I am still in a state of panic ...all the time...after another trip to ER last night I am at my wits end..I had company over here and they were worried about me and really wanted me to go..the right side of my face went numb last night and I was in total panic ..I had taken about 2 benedryls total for the day before I went to the Er.. Doc told me to stop the bactrim(antibiotic) and he gave me two vistorils and told me that it would probably knock me out but it didn't ...I had to end up taking some more valium to calm me enough to sleep..wow what a night...MY ? is .....is this what they call protracted w/d or is it an interaction ..I have been this way after taking just one dose of the St.Johns Wort....so I am at a loss of what is going on..I am going to have to temporarily raise my valium back up to get some relief from all this and too function...I am seeing the valium doc thursday to let them know what is going on with me...if I make it till then... .. if all this is w/d then I sure would like to know one way or another....I am really losing it here...badly...the doc couldn't tell me what was going on either but only said that I had a lot of things going on right now and that the vistoril would help with all....be it anxiety or an interaction....so I still don't have a conclusion as of yet.... :'( :'(

 

    gotta go for now buddies .got to make a an hour and a half road trip ..be back later...

 

        love and hugs .... Nola

[[Wi...]]

 

  Hey buddies,

 

  just so you know I had to take a total of 6.75 mg of valium yesterday and 2 benedryls and 2 vistorils that the ER doc gave me in order to rest and not have very bad panic...I really need a buttkicking or something here....or maybe a  reality check... :'(

 

  I have took 2.5mg so far today...and am waiting for it to kick in for me to feel a little better...it is awful to have to depend on these nasty pills...I want OFF!! but my body won't let ME ! >

 

I have to function and go to work tomorrow..gotta get better here........

 

thanks for reading as I really feel like a pain in the butt right now. :'( :'(

 

                your buddy  Nola

[[Th...]]

 

   I am still in a state of panic ...all the time...after another trip to ER last night I am at my wits end..I had company over here and they were worried about me and really wanted me to go..the right side of my face went numb last night and I was in total panic ..I had taken about 2 benedryls total for the day before I went to the Er.. Doc told me to stop the bactrim(antibiotic) and he gave me two vistorils and told me that it would probably knock me out but it didn't ...I had to end up taking some more valium to calm me enough to sleep..wow what a night...MY ? is .....is this what they call protracted w/d or is it an interaction ..I have been this way after taking just one dose of the St.Johns Wort....so I am at a loss of what is going on..I am going to have to temporarily raise my valium back up to get some relief from all this and too function...I am seeing the valium doc thursday to let them know what is going on with me...if I make it till then... .. if all this is w/d then I sure would like to know one way or another....I am really losing it here...badly...the doc couldn't tell me what was going on either but only said that I had a lot of things going on right now and that the vistoril would help with all....be it anxiety or an interaction....so I still don't have a conclusion as of yet.... :'( :'(

 

    gotta go for now buddies .got to make a an hour and a half road trip ..be back later...

 

         love and hugs .... Nola

 

Hi Nola,

 

Did the doctor seem to think it may be a reaction to the Bactrim? Antibiotics can do strange things to some. I, myself, cannot take Benadryl as it makes me jittery. The vistoril is another antihistamine and is suppose to also calm anxiety. Did this not help? I have also been experiencing numbness in parts of my face the last few weeks where I have not had this before with my withdrawal. It is mostly my lips, upper lips and tip of my nose. The not knowing what is going on can add to your anxiety. I just can't tell you for sure what's going on with the various meds/St. John's Wort added into the mix.

 

T2

[[Be...]]

 

   Hey buddies,

 

  just so you know I had to take a total of 6.75 mg of valium yesterday and 2 benedryls and 2 vistorils that the ER doc gave me in order to rest and not have very bad panic...I really need a buttkicking or something here....or maybe a  reality check... :'(

 

   I have took 2.5mg so far today...and am waiting for it to kick in for me to feel a little better...it is awful to have to depend on these nasty pills...I want OFF!! but my body won't let ME ! >

 

I have to function and go to work tomorrow..gotta get better here........

 

thanks for reading as I really feel like a pain in the butt right now. :'( :'(

 

                your buddy  Nola

Hi, Nola. 

 

I know you are scared; I would be, too, if I had had 2 trips to the ER so close together.  However, I can assure you that you are NOT experiencing protracted withdrawal.  Something about the St. John's Wort triggered a reaction or interacted with other meds or supplements and got this ball rolling IMO.  It's been my experience that the more you struggle with the feelings, the harder it will be for them to leave.  Relaxation is key now; if you've done any meditation or relaxation rituals in the past, now is the time to use them again and stick with it until you feel yourself relaxing.  I'm not saying there wasn't a physical cause initially, but I think the way you are thinking about it is keeping you from being able to sleep and feel less anxious. You sound frantic and that is working against you getting your internal equilibrium back. 

 

Have you heard of hyperventilation?  When we are anxious, we take quick shallow breaths without even realizing it. That upsets your blood chemistry and can bring on panic-like reactions.  I really think that is playing a role now.  Try to slow down your breathing and to get your breath deep into your abdomen rather than just in your chest. I lay on the floor or on the bed and put one hand on my abdomen so I can feel the air moving into that area and breathe in to a count of 4 and out slowly to a count of 7.  I do that for about 10-15 minutes and am always calmer afterward.

 

Also, throwing other meds into the mix, like the vistoril and benadryl, could be doing more harm than good at this point.  Ever tried chamomille tea or Calms Forte?  Unless you have a ragweed allergy, the chamomille can be very soothing.  Also mild physical activity can help wear off any excess adrenaline that is keeping you on edge.

 

You'll get past this.  Keep reminding yourself of this because it's true. 

[[Wi...]]

 

Hey buddies..

 

  Thanks for all the replies...and yes I have been feeling awful for the past few days...The vistoril did help but not much at all...I had to take more valium(2.5mg) after the vistoril just so I could rest and go to sleep...

I have only had 2.5mg today so far and doing really well...Since I am no longer on the antibiotics I think that will help a lot..I just don't do well on antibiotics at all.  I really felt as if I was dying...My friend said I looked really pale and she was scared for me.that's not me at all...It just threw me for a loop when I was doing so good by being on 2.5mg the whole month and I make a 20ml cut and wham ...what happens.

  I agree it has to be the antibiotics or the st.johns wort or a combo of it all.not sure on that one but I know I am not willing to try anything else anytime soon.I dunno..I think I am calming down though finally at least I hope so... My face was numb all on the right side from forehead down to chin...and my breathing was normal or at least I though it was ..I didn't feel lightheaded or short of breath or anything so I dunno.

  I have had the numbness before in my face and doc said it was an allergic reaction back then so I am not

sure what is going on....

    Just hope it doesn't happen again and I can get back on track with my taper..

thanks buddies for the replies and support .. I am still alive and willing to keep going so that is what is most important to me...

 

 

                                love and hugs                Nola

[Guest [Pe...]]

Hey Nola,

 

I had a bad weekend too... I was throwing up since Friday night. Took some benadryl... bad idea... and have no other meds. I think I might have been legitamitely sick, but it took a lot out of me and brought my anxiety/panic to heights I can't believe a human being can tolerate... I even went ot th ER today...

 

Just keep hanging in there... we can beat this... I know we can...

 

-Pete

[[co...]]

                                          hello nola

I am so sorry to hear of all that has been going on with you i know how you fill thought i too have alot of trouble with varies medicines i have a reaction to alot of things specaily antibiotics there are a chosen few i can take.i am glad you have gotten calmed back down i too have had the numbness in my face but it was on the left side around the jaw area things like that freaks us out for sure i know it did me the first time i had it but i had that on and off during my taper..i am now going on 7 weeks benzo free i am still having w/d that come and go but they dont seem to be as intense as they where on my taper..just know i am thinking about you and you are in my prayers..and know it is going to get better and you will be free it just takes times and beeper had alot of good advice about the breathing and medatating..i pray you have a blessed night tonight my friend and get plenty of rest.. 

 

                      god bless you and keep you

                                  love and hugs   

                              sherry

[[Wi...]]

Hey there Petey and Countygirl.

 

    I am sorry that you have been so sick Petey..I really feel for you ..I know what you mean with the panic being intolerable and to that extreme..I am currently having the sx's again..chest tightness and hands cold and panic I guess you would say...Hope you are feeling better now though..we gotta keep going and fight this...hang in there Petey ..ok...

 

  Its gonna be a long night for me Countrygirl...I don't know how much more that I can take.don't wanna go back to the ER again..they already know me down there and probably think I am crazy by now..I already took another 2.5mg of valium to see if that calms me down..but thinking maybe I should have took a benedryl at least until the antibiotics get outta my system ..I think all the antihistimines are wearing off of me since it has been since last night since I took any..maybe I should have been taking them all day.. :'( :'( ..everyone is gone to bed now and I am up to suffer on my own... :'(  I wish this would just go away already .I wish I knew what has caused it for sure..the docs aren't any help to me at all....I feel so alone right now even though I am not...

I really appreciate the support guys .just don't at this point know what I should do..

 

 

  love and hugs to both of you dear buddies...

[[Wi...]]

I've found it! I googled bactrim and panic attacks the antibiotic that I am on and there it was ...

 

It said that bactrim can cause restlessness and panic attacks and insomnia...well I have all of the above!!

man I wish I had read up on this before I started taking them .I would have said that I couldn't take it..

just thought someone on here would like to know...the next time they are given a script for an antibiotic and wanna check out the effects on anxiety just google the antibiotics name and panic attacks and see what comes up...

 

  hope this helps someone.....it sure enlightened me... 

 

    love and hugs my dear buddies..                Nola

[[co...]]

                                    Hey nola

how are you today? had the anxiety and panic calmed down today? i pray it has gotten better..i am glad you found out the cause of that happening to you my goodness darn if you do and darn if you dont take a antibiotic i have had reactions to varies antibiotics myself i really have to watch what i take..and there are very few that i can take..  :thumbsup:i am glad you shared this with us on here so we know what we might exspect..i just wanted to stop by and check in on you i pray you are having a blessed day today..hang in there it is going to get better..

                    god bless you today and always

                        love and hugs 

                                    sherry

[[Wi...]]

 

 

    Thank you there Countrygirl and I hope you are having a good day also...I am getting better as the antibiotic is getting outta my system .I have only took 2.5mg valium and 1 benedryl today..and so far so good.

but the valium to me right now is almost like taking a sugar pill..the benedryl is helping me more I think..

I just hope I can cut back down to 2.5mg a day and continue with my taper as intended ...these past few days of taking more I feel is gonna come back to haunt me later on ..Yeah I am very sensitive to antibiotics too..

I hope that will change when I have a chance to really cleanse my body right . 

I am kinda feeling tired at the moment so that to me is a good sign that things are starting to calm down in my body..I never want to go through that again.  ... all the ER visits ..I feel like I know the staff down there..lol...  that is not a good thing  just gotta hang in there cause I really was doing good until this.what I went through made a panic attack look like a joke..maybe it made me stronger ..who knows..but I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy..

  Blessings  to you ..

 

 

      love and hugs to you Sherry                                                    Nola

[[Wi...]]

Hey buddies

 

  just thought I would drop in to say that I am much better and have dropped back down to 2.5mg successfully .

I can only hope I will be able to drop some more off pretty soon.but really wanna get stable first on this dose first.. I have been busy here the past couple of days and haven't had time to post..but nevertheless..all is well in benzo hell ...for right now anyways...

 

  love and hugs to all..                      Nola

[[st...]]

Glad you are feeling better, Nola.  Congrats on  your last cut.

 

Patty  xo

[[Wi...]]

 

  helo Patty 

 

  so nice to hear from you.. I am still struggling at this point with depression and w/d sx's of course..I also have an aching in my right side where I had gallbladder removed ..or maybe liver .I am not sure...

  I have my ups and downs and today has been really down for me..

  I originally cut to 2.5mg around the first of October ..after being on antibiotics and dabbling with the st.johns wort ..I ended back up to 7.5mg for a few days until I got calmed down...

  I actually cut 20ml off that before all the bad stuff started happening ..I dunno..I will make it ..I know that ..

it just seems that right now my body is rejecting me making another cut..and this depression really sucks..I wish I wasn't like this ..I hate it..I hate it..I hate it.. :'(  :'(  :'(

  I had a really good day yesterday only to have a bad one today...will be so glad when things turn around for good for me...I really feel the need to get out and socialize as that helps me take my mind off of things..but I just havent had that opportunity too much..I did go to my cousins baby shower today even though I really didn't feel like it ..but it was good ..she got a lot of stuff she needed and that was great...I took her diapers and a big thing of baby wipes...   eat a bunch of junk food today too.....   

  I am starting a fruit and veggie juice fast for a whole week tomorrow and gonna see if that helps me feel better..    .. well it sure can't hurt....

  didn't mean to overkill with all the chatter  but I haven't got to post much here recently..been posting a lot of stuff on ebid.net....the new auction site...

 

  hugs and love to ya Patty and all the other buddies.

 

 

                                                                              Nola

[[Wi...]]

 

 

    Hey buddies...

 

  Just thought I would drop in and update ya...

  Last night was hell for me .. I had ongoing panic all day and with the nausea off and on..I got violently sick last night ..I threw my guts up..don't know if it was a virus or anything ..just hit me all at once...Today I laid around all day and am now feeling better ..Don't know what happened with all that but glad I am at least feeling better at the moment...Since I didn't know what was going on I ended up taking a little more valium last night but have yet to take my dose today at all..been doing fine..I am only gonna take the remainder of the vial I nipped on last night which would still make me a running total of 2.5mg a day for yesterday and today..

  Since I do have paradoxial effects sometimes from taking it .I am not really looking forward to dealing with more anxiety...I have prevailed and held steady (except last night) on my dose of 2.5mg..I am gonna hold that dose till after thanksgiving so maybe I can have some relief for a while and give my body time to unwind a bit more.

    I plan on cooking a big spread of food...I simply love this time of year....  can't wait to put up the tree.. I always do that after thanksgiving...      call me a big kid..

 

            love you buddies...          big hugs ..                                  Nola

[[tr...]]

 

I am gonna hold that dose till after thanksgiving so maybe I can have some relief for a while and give my body time to unwind a bit more.

     I plan on cooking a big spread of food...I simply love this time of year....  can't wait to put up the tree.. I always do that after thanksgiving...      call me a big kid..

 

            love you buddies...           big hugs ..                                  Nola

 

Good idea!!  It's important to feel as good as you can during these special times.  Glad you are feeling better today. 

[[Wi...]]

 

  Thanks TS ...I am hanging in there..

 

 

      Nola

[[st...]]

Hi, Nola,

 

I think Valium does make you feel depressed.  You are hanging in there and will be off this benzo.  It is great to be free!  Love to ya.

 

Patty  xo