Zolpiclon/Lunesta

[[...]]

Still 3,75 mg Zolpiclone. 

It feels kind of weird. I think I sleep/am out for a while on that dose. But it is in a strange way where I am not sure if I have actually been out, or if I am sort of lucid. 

I think that it is working less by now, both because of lower dose and because of the length of time that I have ben taking it. But since I really take them for them to stop the nerve twinges so I can fall asleep, they still work as intended (I read that the spasm-relieving effect does not diminish with time, like the hypnotic effect does). 

Nevertheless I seem to get enough sleep/rest to be at least minimally functional.

 

 

[[...]]

Still 3,75 mg Zolpiclone. 

It feels kind of weird. I think I sleep/am out for a while on that dose. But it is in a strange way where I am not sure if I have actually been out, or if I am sort of lucid. 

I think that it is working less by now, both because of lower dose and because of the length of time that I have ben taking it. But since I really take them for them to stop the nerve twinges so I can fall asleep, they still work as intended (I read that the spasm-relieving effect does not diminish with time, like the hypnotic effect does). 

Nevertheless I seem to get enough sleep/rest to be at least minimally functional.

 

 

[[...]]

Still 3,75 mg Zolpiclone. 

It feels kind of weird. I think I sleep/am out for a while on that dose. But it is in a strange way where I am not sure if I have actually been out, or if I am sort of lucid. 

I think that it is working less by now, both because of lower dose and because of the length of time that I have ben taking it. But since I really take them for them to stop the nerve twinges so I can fall asleep, they still work as intended (I read that the spasm-relieving effect does not diminish with time, like the hypnotic effect does). 

Nevertheless I seem to get enough sleep/rest to be at least minimally functional.

 

 

[[...]]

I slept kind of ok last night? Woke up 3-4 times after the first wakeup, to blow my nose, but fell asleep again. I guess the focus is on the cold, and so not anxiety about waking/not sleeping. Which is a learning opportunity.

I am probably going to stay on the 3,75 mg until the cold is gone. Don't want to mess with stuff while ill. That will also be some more than the minimum of 1 week between tapers.

I dreamt last night, and I even remember some of it. Which is what I usually do when I am good. So that is a win. (A villain was catching superheroes and my friends and I were saving the superheroes. Unusual dream for me, but entertaining).

[[...]]

3,375 mg (0,075 g tablet) last two nights. 

First night, went out just fine, but when I had the post-effect wakeup (which is usually between 4 or 5 hours after going to bed), I had nagging anxiety and fast heartbeat that wouldn't leave. And as far as I know I didn't sleep any more. I was tired and lethargic. I was very tempted to go back to 3,75 mg. 

Second night back to the interupted wakings after the first wakeup. Which is better.  And I remember dreaming.  Quite a lot of hot flushes. I am not menopausal as far as I know. 

Edited March 15 by [...]

[[...]]

Reminding myself that I no longer have full body chills, that my stomach hurt way less, brain zaps, that I have less nausea in the morning, that sound and visual sensitivities have gone way down, and that my temperature regulation seems to be more normal.

So easy to focus on feeling bad about the symptoms I have at the moment. But forget the ones that have receeded/ gone. 

Edited March 16 by [...]

[[...]]

So according to this:

 

"Diazepam: from 3.5mg reductions of  0.25mg until completely stopped."

3,75 mg Zolpiclone equivalent to 2,5 mg diazepam according to Ashton.

Which ends up as reductions of 0,005 g by tablet weight of Zolpiclone.

But since I have only taken them for two months, I still wonder if I could do faster. Hmm... thinking. 

[[...]]

0,070 g tablet - 3,1125 mg 

Same type of sleep as before: The sleeping pill one, and then on/off sleep/waking. Which means it is not worse.

Notably didn't have anxiety symptoms during the wakeups, as I have been having a lot, and only a little when actually waking up to get up. 

My stomach pain has eased, except for in one spot below my right rib. But now I have gotten severe pain and high tension in my upper right shoulder/thorasic/neck area. It must hurt somewhere? 

Edited March 16 by [...]

[[ou...]]

Edited March 16 by [ou...]

[[...]]

23 hours ago, [[o...] said:

That post was for long term use only. After short term use you could go faster. I'd hold at your current dose (0.07g by tab weight if I understood correctly) for a couple of days and then try reducing at a rate of 0.01g by tab weight every 5-7 days.

Thank you this is very useful. I have been reducing by 0,005 g three times since March 8. Maybe it was too conservative for the short amount of time I have been taking it for amount, but too fast in time. 

I took 0,065 g last night. With 0,085 to 0,070 g I didn't have any change in symptoms. But this morning I feel a lot of restlessness in my body/legs, while at the same time being stuck in bed this morning (some kind of zombie/anxiety feeling). Maybe reducing after two days was too soon, I'll hold a little longer.

Neck/thoracic pain a little less today but more nausea.

Edited March 17 by [...]

[[...]]

0,065 g tablet again since I had already started on that. 

I think I slept sort of decently, at least not the worst. And just awake when woke, no anxiety. Nausea/stomach pain increased some, not to the worst level. I have eaten, though mostly snacking marzipan, chips, and grapes. But food is food. 

I gardened a little today! Which is huge. Both feeling like doing it, doing something that I enjoy and feeling that enjoyment.  And being able to motivate myself to do it, and not having the fatigue in the body that has made me feel soo weak

Neck and thorasic spine hurts so badly. Only had it so bad once before. But I was lucky that my trusted physio and osteopath had an opening tomorrow. I have had her for some 14 years and she has always been able to help with it before. 

I asked her about acupuncture for the nerve stings (because, I think it was Altostrada on survivingantidepressants.org , who mentioned it for tremors). She is going to so that too (she has an extremely broad knowledge of a lot of fields of health. I like to call her my manual doctor).

Edited March 18 by [...]

[[je...]]

I’m glad you’re getting in with your physio. I’ve had acupuncture in the past and I love it. It provides so much relief. 

Hopefully you’ll be able to continue doing your gardening. It’s so important to have these things that bring us joy. 

[[Pa...]]

@[...], I've heard quite a few members mention that having another health issue takes the focus on this process, I guess distraction is distraction but it would be nice if our distractions were more pleasant but I guess they have to be powerful enough to get our attention and not much can take our focus off of this rotten stuff.

I'm glad you confirmed my suspicion about our weakest point, its not something I've see in the literature but I've sure noticed it here.

I hope both you and your son get over your colds, I was going to say I hope you feel better soon but I'm afraid your situation isn't as simple as his. 

[[Pa...]]

@[...], I've heard quite a few members mention that having another health issue takes the focus on this process, I guess distraction is distraction but it would be nice if our distractions were more pleasant but I guess they have to be powerful enough to get our attention and not much can take our focus off of this rotten stuff.

I'm glad you confirmed my suspicion about our weakest point, its not something I've see in the literature but I've sure noticed it here.

I hope both you and your son get over your colds, I was going to say I hope you feel better soon but I'm afraid your situation isn't as simple as his. 

[[Pa...]]

Hi again @[...], I just realized I've missed a few days of your replies, I'm sorry.  I have to log off now but I'll be back tomorrow to try to catch up with your responses, but its good to see @[je...] has been around. 

[[...]]

On 18/03/2024 at 19:59, [[j...] said:

I’m glad you’re getting in with your physio. I’ve had acupuncture in the past and I love it. It provides so much relief. 

Hopefully you’ll be able to continue doing your gardening. It’s so important to have these things that bring us joy. 

I was at her yesterday and I think that it has helped a little with the neck pain. It usually decreases the pain in the few days after she works on me. She suggested that I not have acupuncture, because it would be too activating for me now, and I trust her on that. 

But more importantly actually, she was able to explain more about how my symptoms are linked. She is SO knowledgable. I wish doctors had this level of understanding of the musculoskeletal system, and also how nerves and organs affect it. It is silly how doctors still consider it almost just a casing for the "real" medical parts of the body that you can medicate.

We agreed that I should continue diaphragm activation exercise. The diaphragm attaches to the upper back, and when underactive it pulls at the neck.

And that is also involved in sudden tinnitus because the jaw/head muscles wrap the ears.

And in times of stress,  the body decreases appetite, and the diaphragm is involved in that. 

And also in anxiety, hence "knot in the stomach".

It was such joy to work in the garden. I hope to be able to mow the wild part of my lawn soon. It needs to be mowed short a few times a year, and one of those times is early spring. I'll get the lawnmower out one day and then sense if I have the energy to also mow. Little by little.

Edited March 20 by [...]

[[...]]

8 hours ago, [[P...] said:

@[...], I've heard quite a few members mention that having another health issue takes the focus on this process, I guess distraction is distraction but it would be nice if our distractions were more pleasant but I guess they have to be powerful enough to get our attention and not much can take our focus off of this rotten stuff.

I'm glad you confirmed my suspicion about our weakest point, its not something I've see in the literature but I've sure noticed it here.

I hope both you and your son get over your colds, I was going to say I hope you feel better soon but I'm afraid your situation isn't as simple as his. 

I appreciate that you do respond. I don't really expect anything from anyone, so each response is very nice. 

It makes so much sense that when you are struggling already, you are more susceptible to an uptick in symptoms from other parts of the body. Stress broadly is known to increase the likelihood of getting... well everything in terms of ailments.

I am not very good at feeling my emotions or handling them, so mental turmoil has almost always shown itself in the form of physical symptoms for me. I like to joke that I am like some 19th century woman who gets "hysteria" and needs to go to a spa hotel by the sea for reconvalecense. (If anyone said I am being hysterical I would be livid. But it is something else when I am making the joke myself).

Thank you. My cold has decreased to a internal runny nose/sinuses, and the clog in my left ear seems to be less severe, and sometimes pop.

 

Edited March 20 by [...]

[[...]]

0,065 g (or 0,063 g, the weight kept fluctuating).

I so want to taper faster. How I hate Zolpiclone. (Something my doctor would appreciate as meaning I am not addicted, only dependent).

If I could just treat the muscle spasms/nerve stings in another way. Sleep was never the issue. Maybe it is a matter of giving them time to resolve, but I have to sleep somehow in the meantime.

I have a consultation with a psyciatrist tomorrow, I can't remember if I wrote that anywhere. I am going have a neutral mindset. Maybe they will be able to suggest a med, but on the other hand those all seem to have bad issues too (e.g. gapapentin and pregabalin). I hope they don't say that it is nerve issues that should be seen by a neurologist, since I am pretty sure it is related to psyciatric meds (Citalopram and Vyvanse) and botched sleep, and a neurologist wouldn't be able to help with that. 

I spoke with the outreach psychiatric ward today. I have a video call with them once a week. Nice to have someone follow up on you. But I mentioned therapy, and she said that they consider it "alternative treatment". You know, like healing crystals and prayer. I was flapperghasted. That's psychiatry for you. Becoming better at dealing with tough circumstances? Nah, tablets are the answer.

 

[[Pa...]]

[[...]]

14 hours ago, [[P...] said:

Wow, that really surprises me, have we gone so far astray that non-medication therapies are being dismissed in favor of drugs which have so much negative potential?

I hope you'll let us know what your psychiatrist had to say, a neutral mind set is a good idea, expectations can lead to anxiety and who needs that?

The psychiatrist was good. Nice person, tried to understand the whole deal, suggested therapy, talked about W/D and said that it was consistent with my symptoms (finally a sensible person).

He suggested several options for meds, but didn't seem too certain of any one. Suggested buspiron, I think,  fluoxetine for tapering the AD, a two week course of benzos to calm me down (no thank you). Suggested duloxetine which is an AD also used for neuropathic pain. That might be a good idea,  but I am also scared of switching to something else than Citalopram which I know. 

Unfortunately he had little other suggestion for the nerve stings/muscle twitches. Said it was for a neurologist. Maaan how I wish that the medical profession worked more holistic rather than being all these narrow silos.

[[...]]

For the last two days I have slept without earbuds in! I had to use them every night since things went sideways, because I was so hyperaware of even the smallest sound, and got anxiety.

(I am a bit annoyed with the early morning sun. It is starting to rise really early and my bedroom is to the east. I have blackout blinds and blackout curtains, but the light still creeps in).

My neck and upper back pain is a little better.

Yesterday I took a look at the site of a brand that makes custom products for a hobby of mine. It was so nice to feel some sort of interest in it again. 

I can't quite remember my dose. I think I might have gone down to 0,055 g because the tablet split like that and then I just decided to go with it. 

As has become the norm, I wake up some time during the night, probably when the tablet stops working, and then either doze on/off again, or can't sleep and lay and rest/turn until 7:00 when I get up with my kid.

Yesterday I dozed off on the couch in the late morning (and I snored, which I never do,  waking myself up so I know I slept).

Today I was tired but couldn't sleep in the late morning. I do feel tired but also awake. Hm.

I am having a feeling that I could do stuff. More than just the survival basics that I have been doing. Don't quite know what to make of it. 

Edited March 22 by [...]

[[Pa...]]

I'm happy you found someone who recognizes your situation, they may not know how to help us but its a relief when they at least validate what's happening.  I understand your hesitation in considering more drugs, we can't find any consensus on a medication that works for everyone, some can do more harm.

I like the fact you're getting some glimpses of your old self you're still in there, and more of you will emerge as you continue your reductions and move into recovery once benzo free.  

Are you recording your reductions to keep track of them, I hope so. 

[[...]]

Unfortunately it was only a one-time consultation, and now I am back with my GP. My GP requested the consultation for his expertise.

There is a lack of psychiatrists here atm, because a lot of the boomer generation ones are retiring (and no one could have predicted that it would result in lacking younger ones...........[sarcasm])

I am still the one who has to decide whether I want to switch. It is tough to have to be the one to make the call. 

I don't want to accept the nerve stings and muscle spasms are untreatable. There must be something that works. Other/better than Zol. Even exercises. 

I went for a small walk with my friend today too. She has had a brain aneurism and likes to have company when going out to get things. It is nice to feel that I can support her. 

Edited March 22 by [...]

[[...]]

0,055 g.

I noticed that for a couple of days I haven't felt that my hands don't quite belong to me. That's nice. 

I am doing a lot of diaphragmic breathing. It does me good. My thorasic spine is still very tense and painful but I have periods of it being better. 

I walked to/from the grocery store with my teen, 2 km. These walks really do me good.

The sun is shining today and my neighbours are doing landscaping in their garden and it doesn't bother me! Like, soundwise or that I keep seeing them from my windows. No issue,  which it would have been in the beginning. 

And that also I heard someone talk early in the morning, but aside from hearing it, it didn't cause a reaction. No anxiety and I went back to sleep-ish.

[[...]]

0,050 g.

Sun had risen when I woke up for the first time! And not just because it rises earlier every day. It was fully light outside, whereas my first wake-up have been in full darkness for a long time. I don't now the exact time, because I decided a while ago to not have a clock in the bedroom, so as to not be able to obsess over sleep time.

I am sleeping better the lower the dose gets. Which makes sense since I never needed a sleeping pill, but rather something for the nerve stings/muscle spasms.

Neck/thorasic spine still hurts. Legs a little restless, but not too the point of akathasia.

Edited March 24 by [...]