Anyone else get worsening depression on benzos/tolerance?

[[St...]]

I'm not sure either how I will be.  But I know for certain that benzos and withdrawal CAUSE and/or contribute to it. 

[[mo...]]

I was so depressed all I wanted to do was sleep.  Eventually I wound up in a mental hospital and that's where a doc took all the benzos away over a 3 week period. Then my troubles really began. No more sleep. I felt (feel) like my brain is constantly demanding benzos - never any peace or calm moments until by bedtime I'm so exhausted it seems to calm down where I can watch an hour or two of TV. Grateful I can at least manage to sleep around  five hours of restless, disturbed sleep now but after approx. 6 years of this, I feel so exhausted I can't even describe it anymore. Can't imagine how I keep doing this.

[[St...]]

How's everybody doing?  I'm on day 9 of cut and the weepiness is back.  I guess this is my pattern.

[[Fa...]]

Hello All,

 

I'm in tolerance...have been for years pre-taper.  I have AKA.  Mistakes/complications have made tapering extremely difficult.

 

I am on day 11 of a cut, and the depression is incredibly deep.  No words for it.  DP/DR accompanies it.  Didn't know that this board existed quite honestly.

 

I have done everything I can think of to shift this energy...it is just not budging.  Not for lack of trying.

 

Praying to come up for air to be reminded that this is the drug...not me.

 

Warmly,

F

[[St...]]

Hi Faith,

Me too.  Day 10 - It might be a little less today but it is still pretty bad.  Do you notice a pattern when it peaks and then lessens?

[[Fa...]]

Hi SR,

 

I just started cut and hold again after having done micro tapering.  I started out doing cut and hold, but it's been a long time.

 

From memory, it seems to be similar.  The first couple days after the cut, symptoms seem to almost lessen.  By day 5, the hammer comes down.  If the same happens as last time, I'm not sure I will see much lessening up to 14 days.  But, this is just a guesstimate on my part as this time my situation has become more complex.

 

You've been doing this a while now...what is your pattern?

 

 

[[St...]]

Faith,

Wow you described what I think the pattern is for me.  I almost feel "better" the first few days after a cut.  I still think "oh maybe I'm done and can just stop now!".  The slam down seems to be day 8 or so.  I've been holding about 20 days.  I know it is time when I feel just flat.  I need to plan my "bad" days better.  No matter how many times I do this it still surprises me how awful it feels.

[[Li...]]

I have never suffered with depression in my life, until starting last week.  I am 7 months into my taper and have had brief windows where I felt amazing and some times I felt just ok and others where my SX mental and physical were really bad.  Starting last week I started to feel, I guess, depressed as well.  I started to question myself, my fiends, my life choices, I am very irritable, I wake up feeling like crap everyday right now.  I know it has to be the benzo's since I have never felt this way in my life.  It truly does suck and I hope this wave ends soon. 

 

I still go out and try to have fun, I never quit social drinking and I now wonder if that is making it worse.  Drinking is a big part of my social life, as I am sure it is for many.  Has anyone tapered while still social drinking without issues or does the booze make things worse? I know alcohol impacts the Gaba receptors just don't know if it is a huge deal.

 

Thank you all for being part of BB, I don't know what I would do if I hadn't found this place.

[[Pa...]]

I have never suffered with depression in my life, until starting last week.  I am 7 months into my taper and have had brief windows where I felt amazing and some times I felt just ok and others where my SX mental and physical were really bad.  Starting last week I started to feel, I guess, depressed as well.  I started to question myself, my fiends, my life choices, I am very irritable, I wake up feeling like crap everyday right now.  I know it has to be the benzo's since I have never felt this way in my life.  It truly does suck and I hope this wave ends soon. 

 

I still go out and try to have fun, I never quit social drinking and I now wonder if that is making it worse.  Drinking is a big part of my social life, as I am sure it is for many.  Has anyone tapered while still social drinking without issues or does the booze make things worse? I know alcohol impacts the Gaba receptors just don't know if it is a huge deal.

 

Thank you all for being part of BB, I don't know what I would do if I hadn't found this place.

 

It’s great you’re keeping your life as normal as possible, this is so important but you may want to pay attention to your symptoms after drinking (as in write them down and be specific about symptom intensity), it could be adding to your troubles.  Some members are able to have a glass of wine or a beer while tapering and recovering but they’re in the minority. 

[[Li...]]

Thanks Pamster I will do that. Starting to learn the importance to keeping a journal while on this journey.