The Long Hold Support Group

[[Tr...]]

Hi Stut,

The physical therapist had me doing exercises in all sorts of contraptions. All meant to strengthen the muscles or what's left of them...

Felt soar immediately after leaving for home. Things got a bit better later.

Today I saw an ENT specialist. Had been having small nose bleeds for a few weeks now. She burnt a few tiny bloodvessels in my right nostril. The left was is due to be fixed in early April. She put an antibiotic ointment on it. This is now getting into my throat and stomach. Gives me added nausea. Getting slight dizzy spells too. Ughh.

Praying things will improve soon.

[[Tr...]]

Hi tt,

I agree with mm. No need to rush. If you are not ready maybe you should listen to that. You have had a lot of stress over the last month. Plus the weather. So maybe hold off a bit. Ly dd

Hey dd, yeah no moving forward for me this week. I know that mentally I'm not ready. Sucks bc I had this in my mind I was going to do it and then my mind rebelled on me so to speak. Lovely intrusive thoughts have moved in and I know this is bc of wd so I'm suffering with that . So definitely sitting tight for now.

TT ❤️

[[Tr...]]

Hi Trishy,

I think if you are not ready to cut then just keep holding. In the early days of my taper I used to plan when I was going to cut, but I finally learned to just go with the flow and cut when I was feeling ready. That is why my timeline has a year and a half hold in it! Then when I was ready to taper I just knew it. And after that I was able to taper about once a month and it was so much easier. Be easy on yourself! Try to not have a plan, I know that is hard.

Mary I hope you are not getting sick! Well if you are, I hope it passes quickly. Sending you chicken soup!

Meems, sending love. I know it can be so hard! I don't think you need an AD. Did you feel like this ever before benzos? That's how I knew I didn't need an AD, because I never had these symptoms before w/d.

Thanks Stut for cheering me on! I am getting out there, even if it is not as good as I want it to be. I hope you are enjoying your time with your family.

Intend, Final, GP, Suzy, Espy, Bill, VNM (how you doing?) everyone else, I hope you are managing!

Thanks for the support Olive. Yeah, I'm gonna ride this out and stay put until I feel mentally up to it bc right now I'm in bad shape my friend 😔

TT ❤️

[[Tr...]]

Mary sick? I hope by now you checked this out and are resting. ❤️❤️

 

Trish, well, you’ve heard it enough, but don’t cut if you no desire to do so. No point in being a nervous wreck when you’re already a nervous wreck. Just try to relax and watch tv. That’s my relaxation technique. 💛💛

 

And yes, Mary’s moving back and could be living across the street. I’ll handle it, but if I get too upset, make up that spare room. And I’ll bring Dan and Pepper. That should make you really calm. 🤓😜🥵🥺😩

 

DD, I’m ready to go with you and ET. 👽 Completely worn out. 💤

 

OK, so glad you’re now in spring weather. But really, Oregon is great weather and such a neat place to live. I love it. 🌺

Hey intend!

I'll have the room ready for you, Pepper can have her own room too!

 

Yeah, no cutting for me intend I'm dealing with intrusive thoughts so it would be a bad idea to cut now. This is so damn depressing. Nothing to do but ride it out I guess 😜

 

Love to the 3 of you!

Trishy ❤️

[[Tr...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

Morning Lady Mary hen l really hope you aren't sick.lt could be a benzo withdrawal symptom however if you have a virus drink plenty of fluids and rest as much as you can.l know you aren't going to feel great for a while however it will pass in a week.Stay strong my lovely.lf Tim wants a hiding place my door is always open 😜.l did mention Gilly in my post to you honey.Were you wearing Tim's glasses again 🤔😘.It was my two sisters no they got a sandwich and a cuppa just stayed a couple of hours for a catch-up.Look after yourself sweetheart and l will be back next week.love you my lady Mary HenX

Morning Trish please don't panic honey.Listen you will cut when the time is right.l really don't think this l will cut in 2 weeks nonsense works as it gives you 2 weeks of increasing anxiety so when you cut just do it.l am never going to tell you you are wrong not to cut it really is your decision sweetheart.lt will happen when you are ready.love you my lST X

Morning Intend l didn't see that one coming.l think it is nice to have family near however there is a problem when they are too near.l hope you set down a few ground rules with Mary.l think that would help from the word go.l hope you do hold my love and it works well for you.l think it will take a long time however it may help you more than you think.love to you and Dan.X

Morning Final great to hear from you my love.l know you will get off the benzo you are doing better than you were l think.Well done my lovely.As you say this is about keeping functional to a degree so keep doing what you are doing.l will always want to know how you are honey you may not be holding however you are one of us.love to you.X

Morning Troch how did the physio go yesterday.l hope you found it helped.Stay strong honey.love to you.X

Morning Suzy l have a lot of space cadets living near me so if you are looking probed l am sure they would oblige 😵. Just take one day at a time honey.love you.X

Morning Meems hold as long as you need to honey.We do what we must so we can move forward.love you.X

Morning Olive yes you aren't where you want to be however l am perfectly sure you are doing more than you were doing during your taper.You will definitely recover honey.love you.X

Morning GP, Janice Gilly Valley Free Bill Miyu Nova Esperanza and everyone here sending you my love.X

Hey twin,

I hear and obey 😉 I'm having intrusive thoughts so I realize this isn't the time to cut. I'll be waiting it out. But damn this gets very old 😔 I'll take a virtual hug if you've got one ☹️

Love you!

LST ❤️

 

[[Tr...]]

Mary! Where for art thou?! Are you sick? I hope not🤞🙏 check in today if you can. Wishing you wellness girlfriend.

TT ♥️

[[In...]]

Mary sick? I hope by now you checked this out and are resting. ❤️❤️

 

Trish, well, you’ve heard it enough, but don’t cut if you no desire to do so. No point in being a nervous wreck when you’re already a nervous wreck. Just try to relax and watch tv. That’s my relaxation technique. 💛💛

 

And yes, Mary’s moving back and could be living across the street. I’ll handle it, but if I get too upset, make up that spare room. And I’ll bring Dan and Pepper. That should make you really calm. 🤓😜🥵🥺😩

 

DD, I’m ready to go with you and ET. 👽 Completely worn out. 💤

 

OK, so glad you’re now in spring weather. But really, Oregon is great weather and such a neat place to live. I love it. 🌺

Hey intend!

I'll have the room ready for you, Pepper can have her own room too!

 

Yeah, no cutting for me intend I'm dealing with intrusive thoughts so it would be a bad idea to cut now. This is so damn depressing. Nothing to do but ride it out I guess 😜

 

Love to the 3 of you!

Trishy ❤️

 

Oh, thank you Trish! One never knows if Mary will just drive me nuts. I hope all goes well and we can keep our own space. I like mine and she likes hers. And the other thing is that she and Brad will both be working.

 

I had mentioned to “our Mary here” that Mary and Cathy were born when I was so young that it was a huge generational overlap. Dan and I would be invited to New Year’s Eve get togethers, and Mary and Cathy would be invited to their own get togethers. We were like the 3 musketeers. Went to movies, restaurants, out shopping all together. And liked the same music (still do actually).

 

Most of this happened while Dan was out of town on the railroad. Best way to put it is that Mary and I particularly were more like girlfriends than mother and daughter, and it’s still that way today.

 

Dan has a doctors appointment on Monday, and Mary wanted to take him. But this guy is a specialist and is across the street from St. Marks hospital. We haven’t been there ourselves for quite awhile, and when we were, we wandered around the area (a maze of buildings) for quite awhile until we found his office. So yesterday afternoon, we drove there again just to locate his office. It was not hard, but if I left this to Mary, she would wander herself. Dan wasn’t even sure why we were doing this. But when I explained, he said,” I didn’t realize that Mary would be taking me. You (me) really need to be the one because who will fill out all those forms and know about the medications?” And I said, “that’s why I’m locating this place and why I am going. I don’t want to get any arguments from her about one thing.” We just argue from time to time, but I’m hoping for the best.

 

Boy do I know about these intrusive thoughts. Just hop on over to that Benzos in the News area, and a lot of the time, you’ll think all kinds of things.

 

Hope things are  going well for you and Rich. ❤️❤️❤️

[[De...]]

Oh tt,

I am sorry. I get them too. Its scary. I just let them float by or i yell them to eff off! Sometimes you start believing them after a while

They are not true. Just yry to somehow stop your self before you go down the rabbit hole. I would syay put. It's hqrd to plan cuts because things could change, life circimstances, stressm One day it will be over and we will be outof this nighrmare! Ly dd ❤

[[Ol...]]

[[De...]]

You too ok! Thats really pretty!!

[[In...]]

Oh tt,

I am sorry. I get them too. Its scary. I just let them float by or i yell them to eff off! Sometimes you start believing them after a while

They are not true. Just yry to somehow stop your self before you go down the rabbit hole. I would syay put. It's hqrd to plan cuts because things could change, life circimstances, stressm One day it will be over and we will be outof this nighrmare! Ly dd ❤

 

That’s true DD. I get them myself and they do worry me. They actually scare me. I just ask questions of my doctor when I get those insecure feelings. Unfortunately, I get them quite a bit.

 

Not much we can do about this, so I just move along. I really have too much to handle anyway. ❤️💜

[[De...]]

Hi Intend,

It scares me toi. It all seems real. When it happens i really have to get up and do som ething else and not feed into it. It makes you think you are going crazy, but your not.  Be happy when this one goes.

[[In...]]

 

Beautiful OK!

 

Dan and I don’t do much for Valentine’s Day anymore. Got invited to dinner last night by some friends of ours who said last year it was a 2 hour wait. I didn't really want to go because Mary and Brad we’re here, but of course Dan said something “garbled.”

 

I kept telling him that Mary and Brad were here, but he said he got mixed up, confused, and couldn’t hear me.

 

It’s probably better that way, because whenever we’ve gone with these people, they find the strangest restaurants. Indian and Asian ones, where we get nothing and pay a big price, places where we have to cook the food ourselves and pay a big cost also. ❤️❤️

[[Me...]]

Happy Valentine’s Day to my lovely LHSG family. 

Thank you Intend.  Today is a better day with the depression and I am going to hold out a bit.  That’s funny about Los Angeles.  I live here and yes it’s quite the experience.  I’ve lived in San Francisco Bay Area and Santa Cruz, Ca.  I also lived in St. Thomas, US Virgin Islands.  God I would love to taper/wd there.  Ahhhhhhhh.  Vitamin D, peace and warm water.  Maui would be good too. 

I bought myself a small heart shaped chocolate mousse cake today for Valentines.  Yay! 

Trishy- glad you’re going to hold.  as Mary said, listen to you’re gut! 

And I love “our Mary.”  I love you all.  Lots and lots of love and healing for my buddies (ALL OF YOU) on love day. 

Meems❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[[In...]]

Thank you Meems.

 

Mary and Brad are right now. ❤️💜❤️

[[Tr...]]

Happy Valentine’s Day to my lovely LHSG family. 

Thank you Intend.  Today is a better day with the depression and I am going to hold out a bit.  That’s funny about Los Angeles.  I live here and yes it’s quite the experience.  I’ve lived in San Francisco Bay Area and Santa Cruz, Ca.  I also lived in St. Thomas, US Virgin Islands.  God I would love to taper/wd there.  Ahhhhhhhh.  Vitamin D, peace and warm water.  Maui would be good too. 

I bought myself a small heart shaped chocolate mousse cake today for Valentines.  Yay! 

Trishy- glad you’re going to hold.  as Mary said, listen to you’re gut! 

And I love “our Mary.”  I love you all.  Lots and lots of love and healing for my buddies (ALL OF YOU) on love day. 

Meems❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Happy Valentine's day Meems!

You're so lucky to live where it's sunny most of the time. I like the Northeast with the seasons but man I really miss the sun in the winter. Today we got lucky with a bright sunny day, although it was in the low 30's🥶

 

Gonna hold but sure didn't want too. 😤 We do what we must I suppose..

 

Lots of love to you as well meems💝

TT ❤️

[[Tr...]]

Mary sick? I hope by now you checked this out and are resting. ❤️❤️

 

Trish, well, you’ve heard it enough, but don’t cut if you no desire to do so. No point in being a nervous wreck when you’re already a nervous wreck. Just try to relax and watch tv. That’s my relaxation technique. 💛💛

 

And yes, Mary’s moving back and could be living across the street. I’ll handle it, but if I get too upset, make up that spare room. And I’ll bring Dan and Pepper. That should make you really calm. 🤓😜🥵🥺😩

 

DD, I’m ready to go with you and ET. 👽 Completely worn out. 💤

 

OK, so glad you’re now in spring weather. But really, Oregon is great weather and such a neat place to live. I love it. 🌺

Hey intend!

I'll have the room ready for you, Pepper can have her own room too!

 

Yeah, no cutting for me intend I'm dealing with intrusive thoughts so it would be a bad idea to cut now. This is so damn depressing. Nothing to do but ride it out I guess 😜

 

Love to the 3 of you!

Trishy ❤️

 

Oh, thank you Trish! One never knows if Mary will just drive me nuts. I hope all goes well and we can keep our own space. I like mine and she likes hers. And the other thing is that she and Brad will both be working.

 

I had mentioned to “our Mary here” that Mary and Cathy were born when I was so young that it was a huge generational overlap. Dan and I would be invited to New Year’s Eve get togethers, and Mary and Cathy would be invited to their own get togethers. We were like the 3 musketeers. Went to movies, restaurants, out shopping all together. And liked the same music (still do actually).

 

Most of this happened while Dan was out of town on the railroad. Best way to put it is that Mary and I particularly were more like girlfriends than mother and daughter, and it’s still that way today.

 

Dan has a doctors appointment on Monday, and Mary wanted to take him. But this guy is a specialist and is across the street from St. Marks hospital. We haven’t been there ourselves for quite awhile, and when we were, we wandered around the area (a maze of buildings) for quite awhile until we found his office. So yesterday afternoon, we drove there again just to locate his office. It was not hard, but if I left this to Mary, she would wander herself. Dan wasn’t even sure why we were doing this. But when I explained, he said,” I didn’t realize that Mary would be taking me. You (me) really need to be the one because who will fill out all those forms and know about the medications?” And I said, “that’s why I’m locating this place and why I am going. I don’t want to get any arguments from her about one thing.” We just argue from time to time, but I’m hoping for the best.

 

Boy do I know about these intrusive thoughts. Just hop on over to that Benzos in the News area, and a lot of the time, you’ll think all kinds of things.

 

Hope things are  going well for you and Rich. ❤️❤️❤️

Me too intend, I was a young mom as well. I was 21 when I had my son and 22 when I had my daughter. My kids are 13 months apart. My daughter and I were very close while she was growing up and still are. We are more like girlfriend's too. The closeness is nice but we can also have our differences. We don't argue much but there are those times for sure.

 

Good luck with Dan's appt Monday, I hope it's nothing serious? It was smart to go find it first, less confusion the day of. I have done the same thing before when I was unsure of where I might be going. I'd go before hand and find the place so as not to get lost the day of.

 

Things are good with me and Rich. We're so routined and predictable. We do the same things everyday, after almost 36 yrs of marriage we're almost one person 😄

 

Stay warm up there in the great state of Utah 🥶💝🌹🔨🌶️

[[Tr...]]

Beautiful Olive! Happy Valentine's day woman! 💝

TT ❤️

[[De...]]

Happy Valenetines day everyone!!

[[Tr...]]

Oh Mama Mia! I'm not Italian but mama Mia anyway! I called the pharmacy to see if my Dr called in my Rx a few hours ago and they said it hasn't been called in yet 😤 it's now 7:30 and no text message from the pharmacy concerning my Rx. I hate to call again bc I'm embarrassed, looks like I'm a drug addict in desperate need of her xanny 🤒 why has my Dr not called it in yet?! Every month I have to call my pharmacy to fax him and then he gives the ok and they fill it. I'm so tired of going through this once a month! So all this has caused me to swear in Italian, mama Mia !! 🤬😤😱

 

[[Ol...]]

Happy Valentine’s Day to my lovely LHSG family. 

Thank you Intend.  Today is a better day with the depression and I am going to hold out a bit.  That’s funny about Los Angeles.  I live here and yes it’s quite the experience.  I’ve lived in San Francisco Bay Area and Santa Cruz, Ca.  I also lived in St. Thomas, US Virgin Islands.  God I would love to taper/wd there.  Ahhhhhhhh.  Vitamin D, peace and warm water.  Maui would be good too. 

I bought myself a small heart shaped chocolate mousse cake today for Valentines.  Yay! 

Trishy- glad you’re going to hold.  as Mary said, listen to you’re gut! 

And I love “our Mary.”  I love you all.  Lots and lots of love and healing for my buddies (ALL OF YOU) on love day. 

Meems❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

 

Meems, I grew up in Santa Cruz! And I’m actually here right now. Went in a walk on West Cliff today, it was beautiful.

 

Thanks Intend and Trishy, happy VD! I’m not doing anything, but it’s nice to feel the love 💝

[[De...]]

Mama Mia!  I hate when they do that. Like we need the stress. Happened to me several times.  It does make you feel like an addict, man. You have some stashed right ? Omg..I sound like an addict. Asking if you have a stash. Can you leave your dr a message?

[[Tr...]]

Happy Valenetines day everyone!!

Happy Valentine's day to you to DD 💝

 

Did you have a wonderful romantic day? Rich came home with my flowers per usual and a big mushy card. He wanted to go out to dinner but I said no , didn't feel like being around people, and made the two of us chicken parmesan. Just wanted a quiet night.

TT ❤️

[[Tr...]]

Mama Mia!  I hate when they do that. Like we need the stress. Happened to me several times.  It does make you feel like an addict, man. You have some stashed right ? Omg..I sound like an addict. Asking if you have a stash. Can you leave your dr a message?

Hey dd yes I do have a stash and plenty to last a few months but I can't let the Dr know that lol! So I try to get them right on time so he doesn't figure that out. He knows I'm dependent and need them. So just trying to keep up the charade. Oh Mama Mia!! We do sound like drug addicts!  :laugh:

[[De...]]

Oh that sounds so nice tt! It was pretty quiet. The typical bwd holiday  Jim got me a tablet case. My ex bf used to get me the most beautiful cards. He had his good points. Oh, I wish I had some chocalate!!