The Long Hold Support Group

[[va...]]

Hi Stutt. You mention you're sad because your daughter is living away from you again. Do you mean she had previously left and came back? I wish my daughter never left but of course I fight this neediness of mine and encourage her to be independent and I know she will be. But there's a part of me that will find it very very hard to let go. When the time comes I'll get two dogs, if I'm over the benzos by then. Another option to fill up the void is finding a partner. But gosh it's difficult at this age. My cat's vet who was also my student for a few months, came with us to the theater last night. He had some things I like but some really weird things so I pass. And anyway I don't feel attracted to him either. The theater play was very nice. A lot of it is lost in translation but the actors did a great job defending it and the theater itself is very charming, from the 1800s. Link to the theatre  pics.

 

https://images.app.goo.gl/4r3Ew553TJndqwwY7

[[De...]]

Oh vali, i am sorry. My cat was Angel. Think of her everyday. Hope you are feeling ok today. I just woke up. Woke up 3 times last night.  but feeling good. Just some tingling lol 

[[De...]]

Hi Stut,

Thank you! You can call me suzy.  That was my childhood name and still alot of ppl call me Suzy.  I cant cry either, concerns me too. It is like my body shut crying off. I wish i could. I feel it could be healing. I dont know anymore. This whole process is so traumatic and confusing. Love suzy lol

[[no...]]

Good morning Nova my As how are you my lovely?We haven't heard an update for a long time[b.How is your taper going?

Love you.

Hi stut  its still   

 

 

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[Fi...]]

Oooh, fh, .

You havent been off the lamictal too long. If i am reading ur sig right it only looks like about 1 1/2 mos. Maybe you are still having wd sx from that as well. Hmmm. I think thetes an antidepressant thtead. I know when i stopped the doxepinomg i  criedvfor at least two months. It was awful. Crying over everything.  I am so sorry about ur dog. I lost my cat. My best friend about 2 mos ago. Tore my heart out. I know how it feels. Worse thing i ever experienced. Besides losing my other cat. You will be able to have a life again. It is just going to take some time. You cant see it know but you will. I have read about ppl crying alot. This is horrific. So of ofcourse you are going to cry. I get sad all the time everyday. I really think some type of yoga and a healthy diet could help. Its hard i know. I have to really push myself but i think it is going to make me heal faster. Its good for the brain. Try to read.positive uplifting things. We think about this horrific drug wx all the time you start feeling hopeless. It is going to be ok. You are going to heal 

 

Suzanne, these are wise words. Final, I know part of my hell is going through benzo wd and lexapro wd simultaneously. Maybe Suzanne has a point.

 

Lamictal (lamotrigine) is an anticonvulsant and mood stabilizer. And if I’m reading FH signature correctly, she has tapered that fairly quickly and then launched into the clonazepam with recommendations from her doctor.

 

My point is that lamictal is used for seizures and bi polar disorder which is why it’s considered  to be used as an anti convulsant and a mood stabilizer. Just clarifying that it is not an antidepressant. Although, tapering antidepressants can be very difficult also.

 

Final, sorry to speak for you when you can easily speak for yourself. 💟

 

Hi VNM, Suzanne and Intend,

 

Thanks for responding and offering your insights. 

 

I actually tapered Lamictal for about 3 years but at about 8mgs I started to get rocky.  I decided to hold at the top of last summer, June of 2018.  But then that summer his when my dog died suddenly at the end of July and my husband had cancer surgery at the end of August.  I was holding but couldn't stabilize. On top of that, the medication seemed to go paradoxical on me.  Every time I took it,  I would get hyper instead of calm. I tried updosing and I got more hyper.  Came back down some, still miserable. 

 

Surviving Antidepressants advised me to come down quicker and it just wasnt working.  I switched to liquiid compounding and I think that made it even worse. I jumped at 5.4mgs for 21 days but it was awful.  Reinstateded 3 tenths of a milligram.  Couldnt sleep, also sick.  On my own, I ended taking an old benzo once or twice to sleep.  Ended up in the emergency room with anxiey due to lack of sleep.  Given Ativan.  At that point my  psychiatrist my directed my to take Clonzapam.  I cried when she told me but I was so out of my mind that I took her direction. 

 

After that I was told I had Lyme, tried treating that with herbs then told I didnt have Lyme, treated it with homeopathy anyway and then decided I had to get off this benzo.  Still not sure, even with blood test if I have Lyme because medication wirhdrawal and Lyme symtoms overlap.

 

So, yes my nervous is sensitive to everything right now and the Lamictal cold turkyish withdrawal kicked off the agoraphobia. 

The Remeron was given to me to treat depression from the first time I was prescribed a benzo and I tried wean not knowing about withdrawal.  It made me so tired and I gained 30lbs, which dropped off in about 3 months after I stopped it with no effort.  I tapered Remeron in a little over 2 years and was tapeing the Lamictal at the same time  for awhile.  Worked in my career the whole time. 

 

Sorry for the long history but wanted to fill in the gaps. So even though I had a tiny reinstatement of Lamictal, I consider my big jump off in November.  I dont know if that matters much because it was awful across the board. 

 

As I've written before, the Clonzapam has never really helped except for sometimes with sleep but it's not consistent. 

 

I eat really well l, hard to exercise but am trying to move more. 

 

So I cry for many reasons and pray I can get off this last medication while there is still life to be lived.

[[4G...]]

Thank you, Stut. Yes, I am going through a very bad time at the moment. I can barely get out of bed because I don't see the point in anything. I know that this is the depression. I also know that it's because they changed my generic. My Mum is taking me to see a psych nurse on Wednesday and I'm dreading it. Don't know how I will ever get the energy to go.

 

Thank you for your hug. Sending one back to you. Love Gilly xxx 💙

[[In...]]

Oooh, fh, .

You havent been off the lamictal too long. If i am reading ur sig right it only looks like about 1 1/2 mos. Maybe you are still having wd sx from that as well. Hmmm. I think thetes an antidepressant thtead. I know when i stopped the doxepinomg i  criedvfor at least two months. It was awful. Crying over everything.  I am so sorry about ur dog. I lost my cat. My best friend about 2 mos ago. Tore my heart out. I know how it feels. Worse thing i ever experienced. Besides losing my other cat. You will be able to have a life again. It is just going to take some time. You cant see it know but you will. I have read about ppl crying alot. This is horrific. So of ofcourse you are going to cry. I get sad all the time everyday. I really think some type of yoga and a healthy diet could help. Its hard i know. I have to really push myself but i think it is going to make me heal faster. Its good for the brain. Try to read.positive uplifting things. We think about this horrific drug wx all the time you start feeling hopeless. It is going to be ok. You are going to heal 

 

Suzanne, these are wise words. Final, I know part of my hell is going through benzo wd and lexapro wd simultaneously. Maybe Suzanne has a point.

 

Lamictal (lamotrigine) is an anticonvulsant and mood stabilizer. And if I’m reading FH signature correctly, she has tapered that fairly quickly and then launched into the clonazepam with recommendations from her doctor.

 

My point is that lamictal is used for seizures and bi polar disorder which is why it’s considered  to be used as an anti convulsant and a mood stabilizer. Just clarifying that it is not an antidepressant. Although, tapering antidepressants can be very difficult also.

 

Final, sorry to speak for you when you can easily speak for yourself. 💟

 

Hi VNM, Suzanne and Intend,

 

Thanks for responding and offering your insights. 

 

I actually tapered Lamictal for about 3 years but at about 8mgs I started to get rocky.  I decided to hold at the top of last summer, June of 2018.  But then that summer his when my dog died suddenly at the end of July and my husband had cancer surgery at the end of August.  I was holding but couldn't stabilize. On top of that, the medication seemed to go paradoxical on me.  Every time I took it,  I would get hyper instead of calm. I tried updosing and I got more hyper.  Came back down some, still miserable. 

 

Surviving Antidepressants advised me to come down quicker and it just wasnt working.  I switched to liquiid compounding and I think that made it even worse. I jumped at 5.4mgs for 21 days but it was awful.  Reinstateded 3 tenths of a milligram.  Couldnt sleep, also sick.  On my own, I ended taking an old benzo once or twice to sleep.  Ended up in the emergency room with anxiey due to lack of sleep.  Given Ativan.  At that point my  psychiatrist my directed my to take Clonzapam.  I cried when she told me but I was so out of my mind that I took her direction. 

 

After that I was told I had Lyme, tried treating that with herbs then told I didnt have Lyme, treated it with homeopathy anyway and then decided I had to get off this benzo.  Still not sure, even with blood test if I have Lyme because medication wirhdrawal and Lyme symtoms overlap.

 

So, yes my nervous is sensitive to everything right now and the Lamictal cold turkyish withdrawal kicked off the agoraphobia. 

The Remeron was given to me to treat depression from the first time I was prescribed a benzo and I tried wean not knowing about withdrawal.  It made me so tired and I gained 30lbs, which dropped off in about 3 months after I stopped it with no effort.  I tapered Remeron in a little over 2 years and was tapeing the Lamictal at the same time  for awhile.  Worked in my career the whole time. 

 

Sorry for the long history but wanted to fill in the gaps. So even though I had a tiny reinstatement of Lamictal, I consider my big jump off in November.  I dont know if that matters much because it was awful across the board. 

 

As I've written before, the Clonzapam has never really helped except for sometimes with sleep but it's not consistent. 

 

I eat really well l, hard to exercise but am trying to move more. 

 

So I cry for many reasons and pray I can get off this last medication while there is still life to be lived.

 

FH,

 

Thank you for your clarification. I have read much about lamictal because my husbands takes it. For him, it is for mood stabilization as when he fell off that train, he slowly developed what his psychiatrist thought was a type of bi polar disorder. She had thought initially that he was depressed when he mentioned to her that he felt that way.

 

But the AD Zoloft did not help, so then she told me that he had cyclothymia which is a milder form of hypomania(bi polar/manic depressive). When one begins to make changes (as in going down and then up) in dosages of the medications as you did with the Lamictal, it can give one feelings of being hyper, increased anxiety and/or irritability. I don’t know how many mg of it you were taking, but jumping off at the dose you did after tapering slowly for 3 years would most likely be a big “shock”  for your CNS.

 

And it’s always a guess for me to look at someone else’s situation, and that is what I’m doing. Your psychiatrist most likely prescribed the clonazepam to calm the hyper/agitation you felt with the changes made with the lamictal. However, that just added to the changes that your Central Nervous System has had to deal with. Plus, you have the external stressors of your husband and that of your dog dying.

 

I am continuously worried about my husband even though so far he seems to feel much better than I do just by his level of activity. The only thing I can say about myself is that I have refused every other psychoactive drug I’ve been offered and stuck with various generics of clonazepam. But even that has caused me destabilization and super sensitization. And that is why I taper so slow and so small. I literally dread my next cut of this clonazepam even though this is a true snails pace.

[[In...]]

Thank you, Stut. Yes, I am going through a very bad time at the moment. I can barely get out of bed because I don't see the point in anything. I know that this is the depression. I also know that it's because they changed my generic. My Mum is taking me to see a psych nurse on Wednesday and I'm dreading it. Don't know how I will ever get the energy to go.

 

Thank you for your hug. Sending one back to you. Love Gilly xxx 💙

 

Gilly, what is the regulatory agency in the UK? In the US, it is the FDA (Food and Drug Administration). This changing of generics is as destabilizing in my opinion as if one takes multiple medications and goes up and down on everyone of them.

 

Nothing but inhumane.

[[De...]]

Hi everyone.

Fh, intend, gilly. I am do sorry you guys are struggling so much. I am too. This whole thing is inhumane. I really hate drugs and what they fo to people. We go for help and end up in hell.  That is such an awful experiece fh. I am so sorry that you went through do much. Im not surprised you would be crying so much.  You are going to heal. We will all get through this together. 

[[De...]]

Intend,

I havr been trying to figure something out for a long time. Im trembling just thinking about this. After i stopped drinking. The detox scared me about benzos. So instead of taking 3 i took 1. I felt ok till about feb 98. Got out of detox in nov 97. So i started tapering myself  off 1 mg k. All kinds of strange sx. I cant even remember. Then i was taken off complety. Then my effexor was changed to celexa 20. No weaning. I was up for a month and kind of blacked out. I thought i died. But i guess i didnt. It just got and worse. I was eventually put back on some  k. Fast forward i went back to my old psych  and ahe put me back on 3 k. Plus we teied didf ad and mood stab. Do you think it was the benzo reduction that made me go banannas. I had no idea what was wrong. I really belived some evil force was trying to kill me. Alot more happened after that. I feel alot more like myself but i still have this uncomfortable feeling all the time. Waling around the house sitting on the couch. I cant do it very long. I only feel comfortable sitting on my bed or driving. I get scared cuz i dont get it. I was fine then nothing worked anymore. If this makes no sense you d9nt have to reply. I have a hard time talking about it. Ugh s9 embarrassing. I try to figure it out snd cant let it go.

 

 

 

[[De...]]

Anyone have sny idea? I should have never thought about this.

[[Fi...]]

Oooh, fh, .

You havent been off the lamictal too long. If i am reading ur sig right it only looks like about 1 1/2 mos. Maybe you are still having wd sx from that as well. Hmmm. I think thetes an antidepressant thtead. I know when i stopped the doxepinomg i  criedvfor at least two months. It was awful. Crying over everything.  I am so sorry about ur dog. I lost my cat. My best friend about 2 mos ago. Tore my heart out. I know how it feels. Worse thing i ever experienced. Besides losing my other cat. You will be able to have a life again. It is just going to take some time. You cant see it know but you will. I have read about ppl crying alot. This is horrific. So of ofcourse you are going to cry. I get sad all the time everyday. I really think some type of yoga and a healthy diet could help. Its hard i know. I have to really push myself but i think it is going to make me heal faster. Its good for the brain. Try to read.positive uplifting things. We think about this horrific drug wx all the time you start feeling hopeless. It is going to be ok. You are going to heal 

 

Suzanne, these are wise words. Final, I know part of my hell is going through benzo wd and lexapro wd simultaneously. Maybe Suzanne has a point.

 

Lamictal (lamotrigine) is an anticonvulsant and mood stabilizer. And if I’m reading FH signature correctly, she has tapered that fairly quickly and then launched into the clonazepam with recommendations from her doctor.

 

My point is that lamictal is used for seizures and bi polar disorder which is why it’s considered  to be used as an anti convulsant and a mood stabilizer. Just clarifying that it is not an antidepressant. Although, tapering antidepressants can be very difficult also.

 

Final, sorry to speak for you when you can easily speak for yourself. 💟

 

Hi VNM, Suzanne and Intend,

 

Thanks for responding and offering your insights. 

 

I actually tapered Lamictal for about 3 years but at about 8mgs I started to get rocky.  I decided to hold at the top of last summer, June of 2018.  But then that summer his when my dog died suddenly at the end of July and my husband had cancer surgery at the end of August.  I was holding but couldn't stabilize. On top of that, the medication seemed to go paradoxical on me.  Every time I took it,  I would get hyper instead of calm. I tried updosing and I got more hyper.  Came back down some, still miserable. 

 

Surviving Antidepressants advised me to come down quicker and it just wasnt working.  I switched to liquiid compounding and I think that made it even worse. I jumped at 5.4mgs for 21 days but it was awful.  Reinstateded 3 tenths of a milligram.  Couldnt sleep, also sick.  On my own, I ended taking an old benzo once or twice to sleep.  Ended up in the emergency room with anxiey due to lack of sleep.  Given Ativan.  At that point my  psychiatrist my directed my to take Clonzapam.  I cried when she told me but I was so out of my mind that I took her direction. 

 

After that I was told I had Lyme, tried treating that with herbs then told I didnt have Lyme, treated it with homeopathy anyway and then decided I had to get off this benzo.  Still not sure, even with blood test if I have Lyme because medication wirhdrawal and Lyme symtoms overlap.

 

So, yes my nervous is sensitive to everything right now and the Lamictal cold turkyish withdrawal kicked off the agoraphobia. 

The Remeron was given to me to treat depression from the first time I was prescribed a benzo and I tried wean not knowing about withdrawal.  It made me so tired and I gained 30lbs, which dropped off in about 3 months after I stopped it with no effort.  I tapered Remeron in a little over 2 years and was tapeing the Lamictal at the same time  for awhile.  Worked in my career the whole time. 

 

Sorry for the long history but wanted to fill in the gaps. So even though I had a tiny reinstatement of Lamictal, I consider my big jump off in November.  I dont know if that matters much because it was awful across the board. 

 

As I've written before, the Clonzapam has never really helped except for sometimes with sleep but it's not consistent. 

 

I eat really well l, hard to exercise but am trying to move more. 

 

So I cry for many reasons and pray I can get off this last medication while there is still life to be lived.

 

FH,

 

Thank you for your clarification. I have read much about lamictal because my husbands takes it. For him, it is for mood stabilization as when he fell off that train, he slowly developed what his psychiatrist thought was a type of bi polar disorder. She had thought initially that he was depressed when he mentioned to her that he felt that way.

 

But the AD Zoloft did not help, so then she told me that he had cyclothymia which is a milder form of hypomania(bi polar/manic depressive). When one begins to make changes (as in going down and then up) in dosages of the medications as you did with the Lamictal, it can give one feelings of being hyper, increased anxiety and/or irritability. I don’t know how many mg of it you were taking, but jumping off at the dose you did after tapering slowly for 3 years would most likely be a big “shock”  for your CNS.

 

And it’s always a guess for me to look at someone else’s situation, and that is what I’m doing. Your psychiatrist most likely prescribed the clonazepam to calm the hyper/agitation you felt with the changes made with the lamictal. However, that just added to the changes that your Central Nervous System has had to deal with. Plus, you have the external stressors of your husband and that of your dog dying.

 

I am continuously worried about my husband even though so far he seems to feel much better than I do just by his level of activity. The only thing I can say about myself is that I have refused every other psychoactive drug I’ve been offered and stuck with various generics of clonazepam. But even that has caused me destabilization and super sensitization. And that is why I taper so slow and so small. I literally dread my next cut of this clonazepam even though this is a true snails pace.

 

Hi Intend,

 

 

I understand why you taper slowly and the super sensitivity.  I'm the same way.

 

I tapered the Lamictal down from 200mgs to 5.4mgs.  It did shock my nervous system

[[4G...]]

Intend, The drug regulatory body over here is called NICE. But it's not bloody nice at all. It is nasty.

 

Thank you for your support. I know you have suffered a great deal with these generic changes to Clonazepam.

 

Hope it goes okay when your daughter comes over. I know your girls sometimes stress you out.

 

Love, Gilly xxx 💙

[[va...]]

Hi girls, I'm sorry we're all feeling like crap and there's a lot of depression here today. I'm still glad we're all doing this together and although we're not all veterans in this forum, we're all going through the same experience more or less. Yesterday I felt like crap but after those nearly two months in acute wd, this period of feeling awful is a blessing. Anyway, this afternoon I had a window. I was walking in the park with my daughter, by the lake, watching the ducks and the dogs. Enjoying the breeze blowing through the trees and shaking their leaves. I felt so peaceful and I breathed and I loved life so much. And I realized I suffer more because I'm in a rush to come off. And I prefer to just live, and whilst I live, I'll try to chip away at the Valium, a little every two months if I can, but I want to focus more on living in the meantime, at least on the days I have a window. I hope everyone finds the strength to keep going. We can give up on our taper if things get rough but never give up on life.

 

Good night everyone.

 

Gilly are you watching my plant? Remember we have gardening agreements that will not be affected by the brexit.

[[In...]]

Intend,

I havr been trying to figure something out for a long time. Im trembling just thinking about this. After i stopped drinking. The detox scared me about benzos. So instead of taking 3 i took 1. I felt ok till about feb 98. Got out of detox in nov 97. So i started tapering myself  off 1 mg k. All kinds of strange sx. I cant even remember. Then i was taken off complety. Then my effexor was changed to celexa 20. No weaning. I was up for a month and kind of blacked out. I thought i died. But i guess i didnt. It just got and worse. I was eventually put back on some  k. Fast forward i went back to my old psych  and ahe put me back on 3 k. Plus we teied didf ad and mood stab. Do you think it was the benzo reduction that made me go banannas. I had no idea what was wrong. I really belived some evil force was trying to kill me. Alot more happened after that. I feel alot more like myself but i still have this uncomfortable feeling all the time. Waling around the house sitting on the couch. I cant do it very long. I only feel comfortable sitting on my bed or driving. I get scared cuz i dont get it. I was fine then nothing worked anymore. If this makes no sense you d9nt have to reply. I have a hard time talking about it. Ugh s9 embarrassing. I try to figure it out snd cant let it go.

 

Suzanne,

 

From what you’re saying here, you too have been “bounced around” way too much. I not sure how long you were in detox, but your blood level of clonazepam probably dropped low enough for you to be able to tolerate 1 mg clonazepam instead of the 3 mg you were taking when you went to detox.

 

Then you tried to taper yourself off the 1 mg clonazepam (and because we don’t always understand how to taper benzos) you probably went too quickly and got all those awful and strange symptoms. I’m not sure what your method of tapering was, but even going slowly can give all of us strange and uncomfortable symptoms.

 

Then your doctor took you off the clonazepam completely (probably almost like a cold turkey) and changed you from Effexor to celexa with no tapering of the Effexor. Then back to “some clonazepam” however much that was. Then back to your previous Pdoc who put you back on 3 mg clonazepam plus trying some various ADs and mood stabilizers.

 

I think that all of this activity “made you go bananas “ and not just the benzo reduction. Basically, your Central Nervous System has been through too much with all these changes. It’s been like an experiment with various psychotropic medications on you.

 

I glad that you feel more like yourself now, and I sure hope you have a good doctor by now.

 

Don’t be embarrassed by anything here. This happens a lot to people when doctors tell you this and that. Most of the time, in my opinion, they don’t know themselves and turn the patient into a kind of experiment without realizing it.

 

Just do what feels the most comfortable for you while you go through this. If you like to be on your bed, then do that and take a drive somewhere if that helps.

 

You still have to get off your clonazepam, the gabapentin and the Effexor especially if none of these are working for you, but try to let these difficult memories go away.

[[Tr...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

Morning Suzy 😘 l hope you don't mind me shortening your name.Your advice is very good don't doubt that for a minute.We have all our own views on this process and no one can say their view is better than anyone elses.l don't care if you have been on this forum for a long time or not.You are doing so well sweetheart just get through each day the best you can.love you.

  Morning Feeling l would imagine you cry a lot because you are grieving and you are in withdrawal.lt is a relief valve for pent up emotions.lt hopefully will settle down when you begin to feel better.l myself have not the ability to cry so l am on the other side of the spectrum which is concerning.l really hope it comes back given enough time.I hope you have a better day my love.love to you.

  Morning Intend l hope Mary doesn't upset you too much.l would imagine it will be Brad Brad Brad for the next few days.Try not to get drawn into it.love to you and Dan.

Morning Gilly l hope you have settled back home.l know you are struggling however you have been here so many times and have come out the other side.Love you and here's your hug.

  Twiny l hope you are coping my love.l know it is never a good sign when you disappear.Thinking of you.love you my lST.

Morning Esperanza willing you on sweetheart.You will heal.love you my hillbilly friend.

Morning Bill l hope you are turning a corner my friend.Thinking of you.love to you.

Hey twin!

I know I usually crawl into a hole when I'm not doing well but I've actually just been busy living life  I'm still not great but am able to doing mostly everything I used to do. I've gone back to church and I think honestly that my faith is carrying me along right now. Rich and I went to a church dinner last night with the kids and grandkids which was really nice. It was nice to socialize for a change. Today I went to church and then Rich and I went out and bought some new living room furniture that should be delivered in about a month. I bought a couch with built in recliners on both ends and a chair that rocks and reclines. The furniture also has USB ports so I can charge my phone right from the couch! We decided to buy the furniture for the reclining feature so I can elevate my feet, helps my breathing for whatever reason, think it has to do with blood pooling in my legs and feet when not elevated. We also went out to dinner at our favorite Italian restaurant this evening, so I'm getting on with it my lovely tiny twin Irish woman I've been doing a lot of reading, shopping and watching some tv on the week days also have been doing some fall decorating. People start that a little early where I live here in the northeast. I feel calmer and more in control. I think my wd has calmed down quite a bit. Mentally I feel good and like my old self, if not for the pots like symptoms I'd be tapering again but I'm giving it more time and will go as slow as I need too. Well I just wrote a book about what's going on with me, just catching you up with what I've been doing 

 

So how are you doing? Are you enjoying the rest of what's left of summer? What's this about your daughter moving? I think I read that on here somewhere.

 

Be well my dear twin, hope to catch up with you on here soon. Love you much! :smitten:

LST

[[De...]]

Intend,

I havr been trying to figure something out for a long time. Im trembling just thinking about this. After i stopped drinking. The detox scared me about benzos. So instead of taking 3 i took 1. I felt ok till about feb 98. Got out of detox in nov 97. So i started tapering myself  off 1 mg k. All kinds of strange sx. I cant even remember. Then i was taken off complety. Then my effexor was changed to celexa 20. No weaning. I was up for a month and kind of blacked out. I thought i died. But i guess i didnt. It just got and worse. I was eventually put back on some  k. Fast forward i went back to my old psych  and ahe put me back on 3 k. Plus we teied didf ad and mood stab. Do you think it was the benzo reduction that made me go banannas. I had no idea what was wrong. I really belived some evil force was trying to kill me. Alot more happened after that. I feel alot more like myself but i still have this uncomfortable feeling all the time. Waling around the house sitting on the couch. I cant do it very long. I only feel comfortable sitting on my bed or driving. I get scared cuz i dont get it. I was fine then nothing worked anymore. If this makes no sense you d9nt have to reply. I have a hard time talking about it. Ugh s9 embarrassing. I try to figure it out snd cant let it go.

 

Suzanne,

 

From what you’re saying here, you too have been “bounced around” way too much. I not sure how long you were in detox, but your blood level of clonazepam probably dropped low enough for you to be able to tolerate 1 mg clonazepam instead of the 3 mg you were taking when you went to detox.

 

Then you tried to taper yourself off the 1 mg clonazepam (and because we don’t always understand how to taper benzos) you probably went too quickly and got all those awful and strange symptoms. I’m not sure what your method of tapering was, but even going slowly can give all of us strange and uncomfortable symptoms.

 

Then your doctor took you off the clonazepam completely (probably almost like a cold turkey) and changed you from Effexor to celexa with no tapering of the Effexor. Then back to “some clonazepam” however much that was. Then back to your previous Pdoc who put you back on 3 mg clonazepam plus trying some various ADs and mood stabilizers.

 

I think that all of this activity “made you go bananas “ and not just the benzo reduction. Basically, your Central Nervous System has been through too much with all these changes. It’s been like an experiment with various psychotropic medications on you.

 

I glad that you feel more like yourself now, and I sure hope you have a good doctor by now.

 

Don’t be embarrassed by anything here. This happens a lot to people when doctors tell you this and that. Most of the time, in my opinion, they don’t know themselves and turn the patient into a kind of experiment without realizing it.

 

Just do what feels the most comfortable for you while you go through this. If you like to be on your bed, then do that and take a drive somewhere if that helps.

 

You still have to get off your clonazepam, the gabapentin and the Effexor especially if none of these are working for you, but try to let these difficult memories go away.

[[De...]]

Thanks intend, i hope im mpt to damaged to heal. 

[[Tr...]]

Hello long holder's!

 

Just a quick drop in to wish you all well. I know everyone is suffering in their own ways. Wd has a way of reading tearing us down in horrific ways but the good news is, even though unbelievable, it always gets better with a hold. I know we all want off, I think about it everyday but only time patience will win this battle. I have one bit of advice to give to those suffering right now and it's nothing you haven't heard before but it truly helps and that's DISTRACT. Get yourself out of your head as best you can with whatever you can. If you're stuck in bed then read or put on a favorite movie preferably a funny movie. Play games on your phone, if you're able to walk then go for short walks or just move around in your own home. I used to pace in my house. Moving relieves built up stress and tension in the body and gets the circulation going and helps to release those feel good endorphins. Our brains are already so compromised we need to do all we can to help it along. Another suggestion is a warmbubble bath to relax tense muscles, I take one almost every night and find it really relaxing. Try to be kind to yourselves. Eat good food, drink a lot of water and I reccomend tea too if you like it. Something soothing about having a cup of tea or some warm drink.I also used to use melatonin gummies for sleep and it really helped. These are all things I've done and are just suggestions.

 

Wishing you all well,

Trish

[[In...]]

Intend, The drug regulatory body over here is called NICE. But it's not bloody nice at all. It is nasty.

 

Thank you for your support. I know you have suffered a great deal with these generic changes to Clonazepam.

 

Hope it goes okay when your daughter comes over. I know your girls sometimes stress you out.

 

Love, Gilly xxx 💙

 

I hope so also Gilly. 💚💛🧡 Actually, I think I’m dreading Mary coming. Today is a boring day here, and I’ll be glad when it’s over.

 

Dan has just turned on Murphy’s Romance and we both like that. I just haven’t had enough sleep in the last few days so I feel kind of “out of it “ today.

[[De...]]

Thanks tt,

What a day here. I just hope i dont have brain damage. I am so glad you had a nice day. You went out yo dinner and everything.myay. you deserve it. I am glad you are holding.  I think you should to be on the extra safe side. Thank you for reminding us how to cope. Sometimes you get so panicky you forget. Love dd.

 

Thank u do much intend. L9ve dd

[[In...]]

Thanks intend, i hope im mpt to damaged to heal. 

 

You are not too damaged to recover from this Suzanne.

[[De...]]

Thanks intend. Omg 

 

[[Tr...]]

Thanks tt,

What a day here. I just hope i dont have brain damage. I am so glad you had a nice day. You went out yo dinner and everything.myay. you deserve it. I am glad you are holding.  I think you should to be on the extra safe side. Thank you for reminding us how to cope. Sometimes you get so panicky you forget. Love dd.

 

Thank u do much intend. L9ve dd

Hey DD, I think sometimes we just need reassurance that we'll get better with a hold.

 

As for the reminders on how to cope I'm sure I'll be needing to hear them again from you guys when I'm in the throes of wd again. We gotta keep lifting eachother up. The ones who are up need to pick up those that are down bc we all get our

turns being down and hitting the dirt while on this hell road

[[In...]]

Hello long holder's!

 

Just a quick drop in to wish you all well. I know everyone is suffering in their own ways. Wd has a way of reading tearing us down in horrific ways but the good news is, even though unbelievable, it always gets better with a hold. I know we all want off, I think about it everyday but only time patience will win this battle. I have one bit of advice to give to those suffering right now and it's nothing you haven't heard before but it truly helps and that's DISTRACT. Get yourself out of your head as best you can with whatever you can. If you're stuck in bed then read or put on a favorite movie preferably a funny movie. Play games on your phone, if you're able to walk then go for short walks or just move around in your own home. I used to pace in my house. Moving relieves built up stress and tension in the body and gets the circulation going and helps to release those feel good endorphins. Our brains are already so compromised we need to do all we can to help it along. Another suggestion is a warmbubble bath to relax tense muscles, I take one almost every night and find it really relaxing. Try to be kind to yourselves. Eat good food, drink a lot of water and I reccomend tea too if you like it. Something soothing about having a cup of tea or some warm drink.I also used to use melatonin gummies for sleep and it really helped. These are all things I've done and are just suggestions.

 

Wishing you all well,

Trish

 

Trish,

 

You sound much better. Thanks for the suggestions.

 

We are having trouble with our tract lighting downstairs. It’s been so long since it was installed that I hope we can still get a similar part to replace the part that is defective.

 

I’m easily irritated right now as Dan is trying to explain all this to me. He forgets that I already understand all this, but is determined to talk to me like I’m 5 years old. It is very annoying that we were at Home Depot yesterday and bought the 2 lights that went out and now it’s a part of the lighting that went out. So we’ll be back there tomorrow.

 

We seem to spend our lives at Home Depot and at Harbor Freight. I am calling it a night.