Only severe insomnia remains

[[Sh...]]

Thanks the way. I won’t give up. I’m getting on with my life regardless. I have a job now and a couple of years ago there is no way I could have worked. Now when I have a bad night it is just that, a bad night, it’s not a bad night plus overwhelming anxiety, agoraphobia, shaking sweating, gi symptoms, nausea vomiting like it used to be. So if I think of that in terms of healing I definitely am. Right now I am very tired, had maybe 4 hrs (night after unisom I usually sleep better) but im relaxing on my recliner with a book. Im calm, so im greatful all those other awful symptoms are gone mostly. I still cry occasionally because the desire to just be normal is so strong, but it doesn’t go on for hours or days like it used to. I don’t have a choice but to be brave and hold on, my family needs me. And on bad days  I always tell myself things could be worse xx

[[ka...]]

When all hope is lost, as it usually is for almost everyone going through WD, just hold onto the fact that if you had some nights or even a week or two of decent sleep, it WILL happen again.  But nobody knows when that will happen, but it WILL

 

If I had a $1 for every thought I had that I wasn't going to heal and recover, I'd literally be a millionaire...no doubt about it.

 

I thought there had to be something that could help get me some sleep, some Chinese Herb, or little know OTC remedy, acupuncture, tapping, a body detox, etc.  I searched high and low and literally tried everything that I could afford or that a doctor would write me a script for...that's how desperate I was and I know many of you are just as (if not more) desperate for sleep.  I even did the Coleman Institute Flumazenil treatment.

 

Time was and still is the healer.  I remember right before my sleep started to get better (4-5 hours per night for at least 5 nights per week) I had a bad stretch of zero nights.  Something like 7 or 8 zero nights over 2 weeks.  I was ready to give up.  I thought I was doomed and permanently broken.  But it was the storm before the calm...things rapidly evened out for sleep after that and then the symptoms faded along with the poor sleep.

 

Had I truly given up, reinstated, or did something stupid to myself during that last bad patch of bad sleep, I never would have realized my healing and recovery.  So thankful I stayed the course when I felt like throwing in the towel every minute of every day.

 

I'm writing all of this to give you hope.  To hold on and stay the course.  To know that healing does come...in its own time and way.  You'll get there.  Be patient, be grateful for any small improvement, live life the best you can until things even out.

 

 

 

 

[[Qu...]]

I'm back to square 1. I need a little bit of zolpidem and atarax (antihistamine) to get deep sleep. The good news I got rid of quetiapine and olanzapine. Taken on a regular basis, antipsy for insomnia are worse than benzos. Just my experience.

 

Deep sleep: it matters also continuity. A solid block of deep sleep is much better than a broken one.

 

REM: guys, I started to hate REM during my withdrawal. I've got lots of short - micro sleeps with lots of stupid dreams. They never became deep sleep. They lasted very few and usually an adrenaline rush woke me up.

 

Fit bit: yes deep sleep is more reliable. But I found that if I lie down on my back breathing and doing meditation, it' s accounted for some sort of sleep - most often rem or light sleep.

 

Snoring: that's troubling Andros. I can start snoring before falling asleep and... being awaken by the sound of it. I don't snore loudly. I developed my theory. The brain doesn't turn off suddenly. Once you got used to chemicals like benzos some parts of the brain tend to remain hyperaroused. So tinnitus gets louder in the silence. Or I start to rest but the noise of my breath immediately woke me up.

 

 

[[Be...]]

Shayna, it's good that you're feeling better and able to work again.  I envy you.

[[Th...]]

I'm back to square 1. I need a little bit of zolpidem and atarax (antihistamine) to get deep sleep. The good news I got rid of quetiapine and olanzapine. Taken on a regular basis, antipsy for insomnia are worse than benzos. Just my experience.

 

Deep sleep: it matters also continuity. A solid block of deep sleep is much better than a broken one.

 

REM: guys, I started to hate REM during my withdrawal. I've got lots of short - micro sleeps with lots of stupid dreams. They never became deep sleep. They lasted very few and usually an adrenaline rush woke me up.

 

Fit bit: yes deep sleep is more reliable. But I found that if I lie down on my back breathing and doing meditation, it' s accounted for some sort of sleep - most often rem or light sleep.

 

Snoring: that's troubling Andros. I can start snoring before falling asleep and... being awaken by the sound of it. I don't snore loudly. I developed my theory. The brain doesn't turn off suddenly. Once you got used to chemicals like benzos some parts of the brain tend to remain hyperaroused. So tinnitus gets louder in the silence. Or I start to rest but the noise of my breath immediately woke me up.

 

I am sure you already know this but zolpidem is a z class drug, which is basically a "benzo in disguise," as it works on GABA just like Benzos do but it's classified as a nonbenzodiazapine.  Many on this forum had nasty WD and severe insomnia afer coming off of Ambien (Zolpidem) for sleep.

[[He...]]

When I hit tolerance for Xanax in late April 2021, I also hit tolerance for Ambien and it wouldn't work for me either. I remember the last time I took them. I took a 2mg "bar" of Xanax and only slept 3 hours! I woke up and was desperate so I took a 10mg Ambien and it didn't work at all! That was the day I found BenzoBuddies and started posting and started my taper. Ambien is in the same class of drug as Xanax. As of now, I only take Hydroxyzine for Anxiety and it helps a little bit. It has been almost 7 months since I started my taper and I still can't believe I am off Xanax as of about 3 weeks ago. Last night, I slept 7 hours. I still wake up with a cortisol rush every morning. I have a lot of anxiety about different things but I can't take Xanax to deal with it.

 

Anyway, if you are trying to stay away from Benzo's, I would stay away from Ambien too. I don't plan to take either ever again, if I can help it.

 

Have a great day, everyone!

 

HM

[[Sh...]]

Thanks becks xx it’s hard most days but like I’ve said my brain is being a champ. Even know I got maybe an hr of rem last night and that’s it but I’m just sitting reading my book. It’s just the insomnia now. Xx

 

Q dude I’m so glad u stopped aps. They are absolute shit. Never should be given to a sane person for sleep. IMO

 

[[ca...]]

Thanks the way. I won’t give up. I’m getting on with my life regardless. I have a job now and a couple of years ago there is no way I could have worked. Now when I have a bad night it is just that, a bad night, it’s not a bad night plus overwhelming anxiety, agoraphobia, shaking sweating, gi symptoms, nausea vomiting like it used to be. So if I think of that in terms of healing I definitely am. Right now I am very tired, had maybe 4 hrs (night after unisom I usually sleep better) but im relaxing on my recliner with a book. Im calm, so im greatful all those other awful symptoms are gone mostly. I still cry occasionally because the desire to just be normal is so strong, but it doesn’t go on for hours or days like it used to. I don’t have a choice but to be brave and hold on, my family needs me. And on bad days  I always tell myself things could be worse xx

 

You are doing really well Shayna despite the insomnia 

[[Qu...]]

I know Zolpidem is a Z drug.

Last months quetiapine first and olanzapine later gave me some extrapiramidal effects like tremors. They're orribile. I weaned them off and decided I need a little bit of rest even if it means taking Zolpidem and/or reinstating a benzo.

I take 12.5mg Atarax too.

 

[[He...]]

I wish Ambien and Xanax weren't bad for you and worked for me. Last night was back to 3 to 3.5 hours after I just had a 7 hour night. Sheesh. Back to being tired.

 

HM

[[Qu...]]

Life is unfair sometimes. At the moment I just can say that extrapiramidal effects (tremors, akathisia, etc.) likely induced by the prolonged use of antipsy worried me more than zolpidem or flurazepam side effects. It seems to me zolpidem gives me a little bit of anxiety during the evening but at least once stopped taking quetiapine and olanzapine tremors subsided.

I'm taking Atarax too, 12.5mg (half tablet). Actually I discovered it has some antipsy properties which I didn't know but they're very mild compared to stuff like seroquel.

[[sa...]]

When all hope is lost, as it usually is for almost everyone going through WD, just hold onto the fact that if you had some nights or even a week or two of decent sleep, it WILL happen again.  But nobody knows when that will happen, but it WILL

 

If I had a $1 for every thought I had that I wasn't going to heal and recover, I'd literally be a millionaire...no doubt about it.

 

I thought there had to be something that could help get me some sleep, some Chinese Herb, or little know OTC remedy, acupuncture, tapping, a body detox, etc.  I searched high and low and literally tried everything that I could afford or that a doctor would write me a script for...that's how desperate I was and I know many of you are just as (if not more) desperate for sleep.  I even did the Coleman Institute Flumazenil treatment.

 

Time was and still is the healer.  I remember right before my sleep started to get better (4-5 hours per night for at least 5 nights per week) I had a bad stretch of zero nights.  Something like 7 or 8 zero nights over 2 weeks.  I was ready to give up.  I thought I was doomed and permanently broken.  But it was the storm before the calm...things rapidly evened out for sleep after that and then the symptoms faded along with the poor sleep.

 

Had I truly given up, reinstated, or did something stupid to myself during that last bad patch of bad sleep, I never would have realized my healing and recovery.  So thankful I stayed the course when I felt like throwing in the towel every minute of every day.

 

I'm writing all of this to give you hope.  To hold on and stay the course.  To know that healing does come...in its own time and way.  You'll get there.  Be patient, be grateful for any small improvement, live life the best you can until things even out.

 

I so needed to hear something like this.  Thank you.  I have been in utter despair over sleep.

[[sa...]]

I wish Ambien and Xanax weren't bad for you and worked for me. Last night was back to 3 to 3.5 hours after I just had a 7 hour night. Sheesh. Back to being tired.

 

HM

 

That's what I had too.  3 hours last night after two nights of 7.  The up and down is ridiculous and traumatizing.  I feel like hell.  It's not just the sleep loss, though.  I still have a lot of physical symptoms even on days I sleep. 

[[He...]]

Sage,

 

I am sorry to hear that. Most of my other symptoms have resolved. I just have the insomnia left. Last night, I went to 'bed' at 10 and was awake until 1 or so. I then slept until 4:30 when I woke up having to use the bathroom. I wasn't able to go back to sleep after that and just laid in bed daydreaming for a long time. I miss sleeping all night and getting out of bed when I wake up. I am too stubborn to get out of bed. I just lay there hoping to go back to sleep. Sometimes I do. I just never know.

[[Sh...]]

Sorry guys but when I hear people complain about 3-5 hrs sleep or even getting 7 hrs it just really grinds my gears. I’d kill for 3 every night.

 

Be greatful. That literally never happens to me.

 

I’m getting under 3 nearly every night sometimes none at all and I’m still getting up every day and going to work for 7 hrs, walking, doing homework with my kids, taking them to all their activities.

 

Just be greatful. Seriously. There is someone always worse off than you.

 

Like my sons 8 yo friend who’s battling brain cancer. He goes to school every day even tho he is jaundiced with chunks of hair missing!

 

You have a choice. Be here now. This is it. What u have. Grab it and and go fuck it this is my life, it might get better, it might not, but I’m not gunna give up.

 

Please fight for ur lives. At least u can say u tried. I know I am.

[[Th...]]

Well said Shay...

 

You're a true Benzo warrior, survivor and role model...

 

Keep on keeping on....

 

You ROCK!

[[Qu...]]

Unfortunately my tinnitus worsened at the very end of my flurazepam tapering. First I updosed seroquel up to 200mg following my psy advice. But it was too much. Extrapiramidal effects and a very bad week. So I went back to Zolpidem and then reinstated flurazepam 15mg to wean antipsy.

I don't like zolpidem very much. It seems to me it makes me more anxious / depressed in the evening. But I have no idea how to fight insomnia and tinnitus together. My tinnitus became significant in the silence. White noises help me but just a little bit.

 

So yes 3-5h drug free is good. For me it's just a dream.

[[Sh...]]

For me too q dude but u have to think u have been playing mechanics with ur brain for a long time. It’s a bit scrambled right now but we have to be strong and remind ourselves other people got better so we have a chance too.

 

At least we aren’t terminally ill. Those poor buggers live every day knowing they’re dying. How do they cope? We should all try to take a leaf out of their books. Live like today is ur last day on earth. How are u going to spend it?

 

 

Just no one complain to me when ur getting some good nights. I don’t want to hear it anymore. I’m sorry but tough love. Your so deep in “oh no I got 3 hrs, I had 5 yesterday, what’s wrong oh no!” U are anxious! Anxiety is ur problem. You have to sit with ur discomfort. Make it ur bitch.

 

Some days I cry! It’s hard ok. But then I’m like oh well, what am I gunna do? Laying around moping doesn’t do shit for fixing insomnia.

 

Get up, brush ur hair, get dressed and live ur lives. Hug those close to you, love them. Love ur friends, ur dog whoever it is u are fighting for. The clock is ticking. The world isn’t waiting for you to get better.

 

And maybe one amazing day, it will just stop. That’s what I hope x

[[ka...]]

keep preaching S78!

[[Th...]]

Unfortunately my tinnitus worsened at the very end of my flurazepam tapering. First I updosed seroquel up to 200mg following my psy advice. But it was too much. Extrapiramidal effects and a very bad week. So I went back to Zolpidem and then reinstated flurazepam 15mg to wean antipsy.

I don't like zolpidem very much. It seems to me it makes me more anxious / depressed in the evening. But I have no idea how to fight insomnia and tinnitus together. My tinnitus became significant in the silence. White noises help me but just a little bit.

 

So yes 3-5h drug free is good. For me it's just a dream.

 

Trying to fight insomnia with this Rx drug or that Rx drug, or this Rx combination or that Rx combination is a DEAD END ROAD!

 

All Rx drugs eventually quit working.  Your brain will learn to sleep on its own after you stop poly drugging it!

 

Insomnia sucks, but the only way out of the nightmare you're in, is through the WD process.  There are no shortcuts or pills or potions that speed things up or fix things.  Unfortunately you're going to experience insomnia in order to improve your insomnia.  It's no different than taking Benzos for sleep and then they cause you not to sleep.

 

Your body knows how to repair the damage the Rx drugs caused.  Is healing and recovery easy....HELL NO!  It's super hard.  But you really only have 2 choices.  1) Keep reaching for more and more Rx drugs that cause more damage and stop working, or...  2) Do a slow taper off of everything and let your body heal

 

You do what is best for you!

 

Good luck!

[[Qu...]]

As many I followed my doc prescription. I went also to a compound pharmacy to ease my 9 months taper. I've got used to my tinnitus before it worsened. Actually.. I hate it, expecially during the night. I bought a sound pillow. It helps a little bit, but on average it's hard.

 

Unfortunately the only hospital where know how to treat benzo with flumazenil in my country stopped this treatment because of Covid19. Honestly they treat only high dose users (no less than 50mg diazepam daily) but it works. It (partially) resets GABA. It's not a rapid detox as marketed by Coleman institute. There are still withdrawals.

 

[[Th...]]

I did the Coleman Institute Flumazenil treatment in Richmond, VA (US) in Sept. 2016.  I have no way of knowing if it shortened my WD time or what effect it had on my overall symptoms.  I did that 7 weeks after my CT on Aug. 5, 2016.  They also had a compounding pharmacy make a flumazenil cream that is absorbed through the skin.  I used that for a few weeks afterwards and could have had that refilled about 4 more times, but since I didn't see immediate results, I stopped using it.  That too may have worked over a longer period of time, but again, I'll never know.

[[Qu...]]

I'd like to try. I read it's mostly beneficial in High Dose Users while up to 3 - 4 times therapeutic dose tapering is the first choice. Btw you don't end up polydrugged. Standard protocol include eventually an anticonvulsant a the beginning of the treatment and nothing else. During my long and failed tapering I tried so many drugs which were supposed to help me but never worked as intended (regularly prescribed by doc/psy) that at the end I felt insane. I wanna say thank you to benzo buddies about antipsy. Doctors consider safe and manageable doses which could be nasty. Not fully recovered but feeling better after stopping them.

Unfortunately I had to reinstate flurazepam and some zolpidem. This makes me feel sad. I'm weaker than one year ago and afraid of permanent damages at my sleep drive.

 

[[He...]]

Just stopping by to say have a great sleep tonight:) I didn't get a chance to log in today.

 

 

Good night,

 

HM

[[Fa...]]

I'd like to try. I read it's mostly beneficial in High Dose Users while up to 3 - 4 times therapeutic dose tapering is the first choice. Btw you don't end up polydrugged. Standard protocol include eventually an anticonvulsant a the beginning of the treatment and nothing else. During my long and failed tapering I tried so many drugs which were supposed to help me but never worked as intended (regularly prescribed by doc/psy) that at the end I felt insane. I wanna say thank you to benzo buddies about antipsy. Doctors consider safe and manageable doses which could be nasty. Not fully recovered but feeling better after stopping them.

Unfortunately I had to reinstate flurazepam and some zolpidem. This makes me feel sad. I'm weaker than one year ago and afraid of permanent damages at my sleep drive.

 

 

Hello Quarantine,

 

you're back on flurazepam? How much is it?

Is it helping again? Why didn't the switch to diazepam work then?

 

Kind regards