Meditations - by Melody Beattie

[[Jo...]]

Being Vulnerable

by Melody Beattie

Part of recovery means learning to share ourselves with other people. We learn to admit our mistakes and expose our imperfections—not so that others can fix us, rescue us, or feel sorry for us, but so we can love and accept ourselves. This sharing is a catalyst in healing and changing.

 

Many of us are fearful of sharing our imperfections because that makes us vulnerable. Some of us have tried being vulnerable in the past, and people tried to control, manipulate, or exploit us, or they made us feel ashamed.

 

Some of us in recovery have hurt ourselves by being vulnerable. We may have shared things with people who didn’t respect our confidence. Or we may have told the wrong people at an inappropriate time, and scared them away.

 

We learn from our mistakes—and despite our mistakes, it is still a good thing to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and honest. We can learn to choose safe people with whom to share ourselves. We can learn to share appropriately so we don’t scare or push people away. We can also learn to let others be vulnerable with us.

 

___________________________________________________________________________________

 

This is a long, hard, seemingly never-ending process to experience and learn... especially for those of us affected to whatever degree by benzos... but just think of the rewards if we don't give up... because even though it doesn't seem like there will be any rewards... that is not true.  That is a lie.  There will be... and we shall not be ashamed.  We have made mistakes with cause... and those who exploit these mistakes will be ashamed as they do so without cause.

 

Kindly,

j

 

For the longest time I didn't tell anyone on the forum I'm a recovering alcoholic and that I took Klonopin in amounts that we're far above what was normal, afraid I'd be judged.  But after a time I realized there might be other members who could benefit from my experience, people with addiction issues who could receive hope from my story so I began to open up and not once have I felt judged by the wonderful people on this forum.

 

I'm not proud of what got me here but I'm grateful if I can be a cautionary tale or an inspiration to others who struggle. 

 

Thanks for posting this Jozsef,

 

Pamster… that is just so caring n wonderful u put yourself out on the line to help others. 

 

 

Kindly,

j

 

 

 

 

[[Gl...]]

Being Vulnerable

by Melody Beattie

Part of recovery means learning to share ourselves with other people. We learn to admit our mistakes and expose our imperfections—not so that others can fix us, rescue us, or feel sorry for us, but so we can love and accept ourselves. This sharing is a catalyst in healing and changing.

 

Many of us are fearful of sharing our imperfections because that makes us vulnerable. Some of us have tried being vulnerable in the past, and people tried to control, manipulate, or exploit us, or they made us feel ashamed.

 

Some of us in recovery have hurt ourselves by being vulnerable. We may have shared things with people who didn’t respect our confidence. Or we may have told the wrong people at an inappropriate time, and scared them away.

 

We learn from our mistakes—and despite our mistakes, it is still a good thing to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and honest. We can learn to choose safe people with whom to share ourselves. We can learn to share appropriately so we don’t scare or push people away. We can also learn to let others be vulnerable with us.

 

___________________________________________________________________________________

 

This is a long, hard, seemingly never-ending process to experience and learn... especially for those of us affected to whatever degree by benzos... but just think of the rewards if we don't give up... because even though it doesn't seem like there will be any rewards... that is not true.  That is a lie.  There will be... and we shall not be ashamed.  We have made mistakes with cause... and those who exploit these mistakes will be ashamed as they do so without cause.

 

Kindly,

j

 

I admire you brainpower, JJ.  I'm amazed at your writing.  It's so insightful and inspiring.  My brain feels so tired.  Your brain is amazing.

 

So true, being vulnerable is scary.  I believe that being vulnerable is endearing and helps us realize we all really have a lot in common.  Maybe we should have a thread to share our vulnerabilities, LOL.  Maybe no one would show up. 

 

Thanks again for this thread.  I have a lot to catch up on.

 

Brain power ?  Are u sure u got the right jj ?  Thanks, though.  That was hilarious !! … when u said maybe we should start a vulnerability thread… maybe no one would show up…. 🤣🎟  That was purty funny Glittering1.  Be vulnerable… are you hiding your sense of humor here ?  Believe me when I tell you… my brain is scrambled eggs… with cheeeeeese !  he he… I mean… I say… I mean… like someone hit me in the noggin with a big bottle of benzos !!  Vulnerable… hmmm … I like this quote:

 

By the way… it’s hot outside !!

 

 

“Courage is vulnerability. Vulnerability is courage. Like shadow and light, neither one can exist without the other.” – Wai Lan Yuen

 

 

Kindly,

j

 

You're too funny, jj.  You're so prolific in your writing, and it's all cohesive.  There's no way your brain is scrambled eggs.  That's me.  I can barely eke out a sentence or two. 

 

I agree with you about vulnerability.  Opening up is a good thing and hope we can all do it more. 

 

I need to bury my sense of humor here. 🙂🙃 It can be offensive when none is intended, ever.  I'm so sorry to you and anyone I've offended. 

[[Jo...]]

Glittering1

 

 

I’m sorry if I communicated poorly.  I was encouraging your sense of humor and complimenting it.

 

 

Kindly,

jj

[[Gl...]]

Glittering1

 

 

I’m sorry if I communicated poorly.  I was encouraging your sense of humor and complimenting it.

 

 

Kindly,

jj

 

jj, no, you didn't communicate poorly at all.  I totally got that, and you're so kind.  Thank you.  We all need a sense of humor to get us through all this.  I just thought it was a good op to apologize. 

[[Jo...]]

Glittering1

 

 

I’m sorry if I communicated poorly.  I was encouraging your sense of humor and complimenting it.

 

 

Kindly,

jj

 

jj, no, you didn't communicate poorly at all.  I totally got that, and you're so kind.  Thank you.  We all need a sense of humor to get us through all this.  I just thought it was a good op to apologize. 

 

Seeing someone who is anxious to apologize is a beautiful thing…

[[Jo...]]

[shadow=green,left]Accepting Our Best[/shadow]

 

We don’t have to do it any better than we can—ever.  Do our best for the moment, then let it go. If we have to redo it, we can do our best in another moment, later.  We can never do more or better than we are able to do at the moment.  We punish ourselves and make ourselves feel crazy by expecting more than our reasonable best for now.  Striving for excellence is a positive quality.  Perfection is a condition of the heart... not a literal perfection.  Did someone tell us or expect us to do or give or be more?  Did someone always withhold approval ?  There comes a time when we feel we have done our best.  When that time comes, let it go.

 

There are days when our best is less than we hoped for.  Let those times go too.  Start over tomorrow. Work things through, until our best becomes better.  This is how our hearts are perfected... not how literal perfection is achieved.  A willing heart is a perfect heart.  There is a time for constructive criticism, but if that’s all we give ourselves, we’ll give up.  Empowering and complimenting ourselves will not make us lazy.  It will nurture us and enable us to give, do, and be our best at a particular time.  Do your best... then let it go.  Stop continuously analyzing only how you fall short and focus on how you can do better.  Focus on love.

 

Sometimes... we may feel we have "given up."  The reality is... we have simply reached a place where we can't do anything.  These are the times when it's best to wait on God.  When this takes place, we are admitting our weaknesses so that divine intervention and grace can take place.  We are in a place where faith can live.  There are mistakes that take place oftentimes due to a lack of ability on our part.  In other words... sometimes there are legitimate reasons for mistakes or weaknesses or falling short of what we think is right or best.  Some make these mistakes without reason or cause because they don't care.  Others care more than anything but still fall short.  The main thing is to keep trying... and never ultimately give up.  If we fail because we were actually trying... then we don't need to be ashamed.  It's a condition of the heart... that ultimately is our failure or success in what we are striving for.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

___________________________________________________________________________________

 

Relevant sacred texts within the context of this dialogue:

 

 

2 Corinthians 8:11-13  Now therefore perform the doing of it; that as there was a readiness to will, so there may be a performance also out of that which ye have.  For if there be first a willing mind, it is accepted according to that a man hath, and not according to that he hath not.  For I mean not that other men be eased, and ye burdened:

 

Psalm 25:3  Yea, let none that wait on thee be ashamed: let them be ashamed which transgress without cause. 

 

Isaiah 50:7  For the Lord GOD will help me; therefore shall I not be confounded: therefore have I set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be ashamed.

 

 

Meditation by Melody Beattie

Edited by Jozsef

Sacred texts added by Jozsef

 

[[Pa...]]

Thank you Jozsef, we can always count on you to do your best to uplift, even though I know you face challenges each and every day. 

[[Jo...]]

Thank you Jozsef, we can always count on you to do your best to uplift, even though I know you face challenges each and every day. 

 

 

[[...]]

[shadow=green,left]Accepting Our Best[/shadow]

 

We don’t have to do it any better than we can—ever.  Do our best for the moment, then let it go. If we have to redo it, we can do our best in another moment, later.  We can never do more or better than we are able to do at the moment.  We punish ourselves and make ourselves feel crazy by expecting more than our reasonable best for now.  Striving for excellence is a positive quality.  Perfection is a condition of the heart... not a literal perfection.  Did someone tell us or expect us to do or give or be more?  Did someone always withhold approval ?  There comes a time when we feel we have done our best.  When that time comes, let it go.

 

There are days when our best is less than we hoped for.  Let those times go too.  Start over tomorrow. Work things through, until our best becomes better.  This is how our hearts are perfected... not how literal perfection is achieved.  A willing heart is a perfect heart.  There is a time for constructive criticism, but if that’s all we give ourselves, we’ll give up.  Empowering and complimenting ourselves will not make us lazy.  It will nurture us and enable us to give, do, and be our best at a particular time.  Do your best... then let it go.  Stop continuously analyzing only how you fall short and focus on how you can do better.  Focus on love.

 

Sometimes... we may feel we have "given up."  The reality is... we have simply reached a place where we can't do anything.  These are the times when it's best to wait on God.  When this takes place, we are admitting our weaknesses so that divine intervention and grace can take place.  We are in a place where faith can live.  There are mistakes that take place oftentimes due to a lack of ability on our part.  In other words... sometimes there are legitimate reasons for mistakes or weaknesses or falling short of what we think is right or best.  Some make these mistakes without reason or cause because they don't care.  Others care more than anything but still fall short.  The main thing is to keep trying... and never ultimately give up.  If we fail because we were actually trying... then we don't need to be ashamed.  It's a condition of the heart... that ultimately is our failure or success in what we are striving for.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

___________________________________________________________________________________

 

Relevant sacred texts within the context of this dialogue:

 

 

2 Corinthians 8:11-13  Now therefore perform the doing of it; that as there was a readiness to will, so there may be a performance also out of that which ye have.  For if there be first a willing mind, it is accepted according to that a man hath, and not according to that he hath not.  For I mean not that other men be eased, and ye burdened:

 

Psalm 25:3  Yea, let none that wait on thee be ashamed: let them be ashamed which transgress without cause.

 

Isaiah 50:7  For the Lord GOD will help me; therefore shall I not be confounded: therefore have I set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be ashamed.

 

 

Meditation by Melody Beattie

Edited by Jozsef

Sacred texts added by Jozsef

 

 

Glad to see your back Jozsef, I’m new to BB and have read some of your faith filled posts and was truly inspiring and hopeful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[Jo...]]

[shadow=green,left]Accepting Our Best[/shadow]

 

We don’t have to do it any better than we can—ever.  Do our best for the moment, then let it go. If we have to redo it, we can do our best in another moment, later.  We can never do more or better than we are able to do at the moment.  We punish ourselves and make ourselves feel crazy by expecting more than our reasonable best for now.  Striving for excellence is a positive quality.  Perfection is a condition of the heart... not a literal perfection.  Did someone tell us or expect us to do or give or be more?  Did someone always withhold approval ?  There comes a time when we feel we have done our best.  When that time comes, let it go.

 

There are days when our best is less than we hoped for.  Let those times go too.  Start over tomorrow. Work things through, until our best becomes better.  This is how our hearts are perfected... not how literal perfection is achieved.  A willing heart is a perfect heart.  There is a time for constructive criticism, but if that’s all we give ourselves, we’ll give up.  Empowering and complimenting ourselves will not make us lazy.  It will nurture us and enable us to give, do, and be our best at a particular time.  Do your best... then let it go.  Stop continuously analyzing only how you fall short and focus on how you can do better.  Focus on love.

 

Sometimes... we may feel we have "given up."  The reality is... we have simply reached a place where we can't do anything.  These are the times when it's best to wait on God.  When this takes place, we are admitting our weaknesses so that divine intervention and grace can take place.  We are in a place where faith can live.  There are mistakes that take place oftentimes due to a lack of ability on our part.  In other words... sometimes there are legitimate reasons for mistakes or weaknesses or falling short of what we think is right or best.  Some make these mistakes without reason or cause because they don't care.  Others care more than anything but still fall short.  The main thing is to keep trying... and never ultimately give up.  If we fail because we were actually trying... then we don't need to be ashamed.  It's a condition of the heart... that ultimately is our failure or success in what we are striving for.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

___________________________________________________________________________________

 

Relevant sacred texts within the context of this dialogue:

 

 

2 Corinthians 8:11-13  Now therefore perform the doing of it; that as there was a readiness to will, so there may be a performance also out of that which ye have.  For if there be first a willing mind, it is accepted according to that a man hath, and not according to that he hath not.  For I mean not that other men be eased, and ye burdened:

 

Psalm 25:3  Yea, let none that wait on thee be ashamed: let them be ashamed which transgress without cause.

 

Isaiah 50:7  For the Lord GOD will help me; therefore shall I not be confounded: therefore have I set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be ashamed.

 

 

Meditation by Melody Beattie

Edited by Jozsef

Sacred texts added by Jozsef

 

 

Glad to see your back Jozsef, I’m new to BB and have read some of your faith filled posts and was truly inspiring and hopeful.

 

TMH

 

 

Awesome !!  Thanks so much for the encouragement.  Sometimes that's all we have to go by...  it's a pleasure meeting you.

 

 

Kindly,

j

[[Jo...]]

[shadow=green,left]Denial - Both a Friend and an Enemy

[/shadow]by Melody Beattie

 

 

 

I’ve been recovering many years. I’ve used denial many times. It has been a defense, a survival device, a coping behavior, and, at times, almost my undoing. It has been both a friend and an enemy.

 

When I was a child, I used denial to protect myself and my family. I protected myself from seeing things too painful to see and feelings too overwhelming to feel. Denial got me safely through many traumatic situations, when I had no other resources for survival.

 

The negative aspect of using denial was that I lost touch with myself and my feelings. I became able to participate in harmful situations without even knowing I was hurting. I was able to tolerate a great deal of pain and abuse without the foggiest notion it was abnormal.

 

I learned to participate in my own abuse.

 

Denial protected me from pain, but it also rendered me blind to my feelings, my needs, and myself. It was like a thick blanket that covered and smothered me.

 

Eventually I began to recover. I had a glimpse of awareness about my pain, my feelings, my behaviors. I began to see myself, and the world, as we were. There was so much denial from my past that had the blanket been entirely ripped from me, I would have died from the shock of exposure. I needed to embrace insights, remembrances, awareness, and healing gently, gradually.

 

Life participated in this process with me. It is a gentle teacher. As I recovered, I was brought to the incidents and people I needed in order to remind me of what I was still denying, to tell me where I required more healing from my past, as I could handle these insights.

 

I still use, and break through, denial—as needed. When the winds of change blow through, upsetting a familiar structure and preparing me for the new, I pick up my blanket and hide, for a while. Sometimes, when someone I love has a problem, I hide under the blanket, momentarily. Memories emerge of things denied, memories that need to be remembered, felt, and accepted so I can continue to become healed—strong and healthy.

 

Sometimes, I feel ashamed about how long it takes me to struggle through to acceptance of reality. I feel embarrassed when I find myself again clouded by the fog of denial.

 

Then something happens, and I see that I am moving forward. The experience was necessary, connected, not at all a mistake, but an important part of healing.

 

It’s an exciting process, this journey called recovery, but I understand I may sometimes use denial to help me get through the rough spots. I’m also aware that denial is a friend, and an enemy. I’m on the alert for danger signs: those cloudy, confused feelings . . . sluggish energy . . . feeling compulsive . . . running too fast or hard . . . avoiding support mechanisms.

 

I’ve gained a healthy respect for our need to use denial as a blanket to wrap ourselves in when we become too cold. It isn’t my job to run around ripping people’s blankets off or shaming others for using the blanket. Shaming makes them colder, makes them wrap themselves more tightly in the blanket. Yanking their blanket away is dangerous. They could die of exposure, the same way I could have.

 

I’ve learned the best thing I can do around people who are wrapped in this blanket is to make them feel warm and safe. The warmer and safer they feel, the more able they are to drop their blanket. I don’t have to support or encourage their denial. I can be direct. If others are in denial about a particular thing, and their activity is harmful to me, I don’t have to be around them. I can wish them well and take care of myself. You see, if I stand too long around someone who is harming me, I will inevitably pick up my blanket again.

 

I tend to be attracted to warm people. When I’m around warm people, I don’t need to use my blanket.

 

I’ve gained respect for creating warm environments, where blankets are not needed, or at least not needed for long. I’ve gained trust in the way people heal from and deal with life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

___________________________________________________________________________________

 

Sacred texts within the context of this dialogue:

 

 

Matthew 21:28-31  But what think ye? A certain man had two sons; and he came to the first, and said, Son, go work to day in my vineyard.  He answered and said, I will not: but afterward he repented, and went.  And he came to the second, and said likewise. And he answered and said, I go, sir: and went not.  Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first.

 

 

 

 

Meditation by Melody Beattie

Sacred texts within the context added by Jozsef

[[Jo...]]

[shadow=blue,left]Being A Team Player[/shadow]

By Medoly Beattie

 

 

 

 

You may have heard this saying: “Unless you’re the lead dog, the view never changes.”  Not everyone is the lead dog. Not everyone is the CEO or leading man. Better to be a working actor than an out-of-work star. At least you’re in the play.  Every person who has accomplished anything of value in this world and is honest, recognizes that he or she hasn’t done it alone. They’re part of a team. Even Christ had a group of Apostles.

 

If you’re in a supporting role, accept it. Not everyone is a leader every time. By being a part of the cast, you can make the entire production stronger. You can do your part to make it work. And you’ll learn the humility and team spirit that will be so important if you do get that lead.

 

Take a look at your life. Are you living as fully as you can where you are right now? Or are you waiting until someone recognizes your true talent to really give it your all? If you’re in a supporting rather than a starring role, maybe it’s because the cast needs the strength and talents that you can provide. Maybe the team needs a blocker. Life is not so much about the greatness of the role we’re given as it is the heart with which we play it.  It’s great to strive for the lead-dog position, but give yourself permission to enjoy and contribute from the level that you’re at right now.

God, help me to accept the role that I have been given and to play it with dignity and to the best of my ability.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

___________________________________________________________________________________

 

Sacred texts within the context of this dialogue:

 

 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10  Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.  For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.

 

Galatians 6:2-5  Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.  For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself.  But let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another.  For every man shall bear his own burden.

 

Mark 6:7a  "And he called unto him the twelve, and began to send them forth by two and two; ... "

 

Zechariah 4:10a  "For who hath despised the day of small things ? ... "

 

1 Corinthians 4:2  Moreover it is required in stewards, that a man be found faithful.

 

1 Corinthians 16:13-14  Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong.  Let all your things be done with charity.

 

Matthew 25:23  His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.

 

Philippians 2:4  Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.

 

2 Corinthians 8:11-14  Now therefore perform the doing of it; that as there was a readiness to will, so there may be a performance also out of that which ye have.  For if there be first a willing mind, it is accepted according to that a man hath, and not according to that he hath not.  For I mean not that other men be eased, and ye burdened:  But by an equality, that now at this time your abundance may be a supply for their want, that their abundance also may be a supply for your want: that there may be equality:

 

 

Sacred texts added by j 

 

 

 

 

 

[[Jo...]]

[shadow=green,left]Appreciate Who You Are[/shadow]

By Medoly Beattie

 

 

 

 

Scott was sixty-nine when he took up skydiving for the second time in his life. He had jumped in the British military in World War II. When the opportunity arose to make a demonstration jump into one of the old military bases, he came to California to learn how to skydive.

 

His body was old and stiff. But his heart was full of youth and fun. As he worked his way slowly through the levels, repeating many of the jumps until he got the skills dialed in, each jump took a little more out of his body. Despite his resolve, the training was more than he could handle and he had to stop short of his goal. As he left, he vowed to begin strength-training exercises and to return later to complete his training. “I’ll be there; it’ll just take longer than I thought,” he said.

 

At the same time Scott started training, Tim started his skydiving training, too. Tim had never jumped before, though he had been skiing, mountain biking, and sailing. Tim was terrified. He was fearful that he would fail, afraid that he wouldn’t respond well in an emergency, afraid that he would forget how to land, afraid to get out of a plane nearly two miles above the earth.

 

Scott talked to Tim. Scott laughed at him and laughed with him. And Tim kept getting back on the plane and passing his levels. He graduated. “I would have quit after the first jump,” Tim said. “But if Scott can do it, so can I. I’m glad he was here. He gave me the faith to do something I believed was impossible.”

 

We are each to walk our own path regardless of the fears and desires of those around us. Maybe you are like Scott, trying something new, something that may be a little beyond you. Great!

 

Maybe you’ll succeed; maybe you’ll fail. Only you can decide what you’ll do with the results. Scott could have taken his setbacks bitterly and dragged Tim down with him. Instead he built Tim up, enabling him to achieve something that he might not have done on his own.

 

Maybe you’re like Tim, wanting to grow, but afraid of what you might lose in the trying. Follow your heart, and if you can find a mentor to help you on your way, thank that person for lifting you up.

 

Keep walking the path.

 

Some paths may lead to fame and recognition, others to quiet support of our fellow travelers. Walk your own path. Learn your own lessons.

 

God, thank you for my life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

___________________________________________________________________

 

Sacred Texts Within the Context:

 

 

Habakkuk 2:4  Behold, his soul which is lifted up is not upright in him: but the just shall live by his faith.

 

Proverbs 4:18  But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day.

 

Deuteronomy 3:28  But charge Joshua, and encourage him, and strengthen him: for he shall go over before this people, and he shall cause them to inherit the land which thou shalt see.

 

Joshua 14:12  Now therefore give me this mountain, whereof the LORD spake in that day; for thou heardest in that day how the Anakims were there, and that the cities were great and fenced: if so be the LORD will be with me, then I shall be able to drive them out, as the LORD said.

 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10  Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.  For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.

 

Psalm 37:23  The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.  Though he fall, he shall not be utterly (permanently) cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand.

 

Ezekiel 18:22  All his transgressions that he hath committed, they shall not be mentioned unto him: in his righteousness that he hath done he shall live.

 

Psalm 84:11  For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.

 

Mark 10:27  And Jesus looking upon them saith, With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible.

 

 

 

 

Sacred texts added by j

 

[[Jo...]]

[shadow=purple,left]Be Who and Where You Are

[/shadow]Melody Beattie

 

 

 

 

One day when I was new to recovery from chemical dependency, I looked around at my living situation, my job, my relationships. Nothing felt right. A chronic sense of being in the wrong place at the wrong time was overriding everything I did. My life felt like an ongoing series of errors.

 

I had heard talk about a brilliant therapist, one who was particularly effective in getting to core issues. Whatever was going on in my core, I wanted it to be resolved.

 

The problem was that this therapist lived way out in a rural area. I didn’t have a car. I’d need to take the bus. He saw people only during the week. I worked nine-to-five, Monday through Friday. And his fees, although well-deserved, were high for my budget.

 

I saved enough money to pay for a session. Then I made an appointment. I was so excited.

 

The big day arrived. I started my series of bus rides (I had to transfer three times) at 5:00 p.m., when I finished work. By 7:30 that evening, I arrived at the estate where this therapist lived and worked. I was exhausted but elated when I finally sat down across from this teddy bear of a man who had helped so many people progress in their lives.

 

In elaborate detail, I began spilling out what was going on in my life. I explained that I was recovering, trying to do the right things, going to my support groups, making my amends to people I had hurt—but nothing felt right. A chronic sense of uneasiness plagued my life, no matter what I did.

 

He listened to what I said. Then he leaned back in his chair.

 

“Melody,” he said calmly, confidently.

 

“Yes?”

 

“You’re right where you need to be.”

 

Session ended.

 

I gathered my things, walked the two blocks to the bus stop, and rode the several buses back to my small cubicle of an apartment in South Minneapolis. The lesson stayed with me for life. When nothing in our lives feels right, sometimes the answer isn’t doing more or searching frantically for the miracle we need. The miracle comes when we accept, believe, and trust that who we are right now is who we need to be.

 

Save yourself the time, the money, and the trip.

 

Be your own guru.

 

God, thank you for where I am today. Help me trust that when I need to be someplace else, you’ll naturally move me to that place.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

___________________________________________________________________________________

 

Sacred Texts Within the Context of This Dialogue Added by j:

 

 

Acts 17:28a  "For in him we live, and move, and have our being; ... "

 

Psalm 83:1  A Song or Psalm of Asaph. Keep not thou silence, O God: hold not thy peace, and be not still, O God.

 

Psalm 46:10a  "Be still, and know that I am God: ... "

 

Proverbs 4:26  Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established.

 

Isaiah 30:18a,c  "And therefore will the LORD wait, that he may be gracious unto you, and therefore will he be exalted, that he may have mercy upon you:  blessed are all they that wait for him... "

 

 

 

 

 

[[Jo...]]

[shadow=purple,left]Trying to Listen[/shadow]

 

 

 

“Be still and know that I am God.” Learn to silence the chattering of your ego, whether through prayer, meditation, or a long walk in the park. Find that place where you can detach from the pressures of the world. Find that place where your body and spirit work together in harmony.

 

Being aware of your true self is the best way to free yourself from the controlling, manipulative behaviors of others. You don’t need the right car, the right shoes, the right girlfriend to be complete. All you really need is to be yourself.

 

Your spirit is the real you. Let it guide you.

 

Be still. Listen to your spirit say, I am, and I am enough.

 

In the silence, you’ll hear God.

 

God, help me be quiet so I can hear you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

___________________________________________________________________________________

 

Sacred text within the dialogue of this meditation:

 

 

Lamentations 3:26  It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD.

 

[[Pa...]]

[shadow=blue,left]Being A Team Player[/shadow]

By Medoly Beattie

 

 

 

 

You may have heard this saying: “Unless you’re the lead dog, the view never changes.”  Not everyone is the lead dog. Not everyone is the CEO or leading man. Better to be a working actor than an out-of-work star. At least you’re in the play.  Every person who has accomplished anything of value in this world and is honest, recognizes that he or she hasn’t done it alone. They’re part of a team. Even Christ had a group of Apostles.

 

If you’re in a supporting role, accept it. Not everyone is a leader every time. By being a part of the cast, you can make the entire production stronger. You can do your part to make it work. And you’ll learn the humility and team spirit that will be so important if you do get that lead.

 

Take a look at your life. Are you living as fully as you can where you are right now? Or are you waiting until someone recognizes your true talent to really give it your all? If you’re in a supporting rather than a starring role, maybe it’s because the cast needs the strength and talents that you can provide. Maybe the team needs a blocker. Life is not so much about the greatness of the role we’re given as it is the heart with which we play it.  It’s great to strive for the lead-dog position, but give yourself permission to enjoy and contribute from the level that you’re at right now.

God, help me to accept the role that I have been given and to play it with dignity and to the best of my ability.

 

I really like this one Jozsef, the spotlight can shine on the leader but it can also burn and I'm afraid of it.  In fact, I'm so uncomfortable with the spotlight that BenzoBuddies is my only online presence, I can't imagine anything being all about me.  I'm most comfortable being a being a part of the support team and this quote helps me know there is honor in that.

 

 

Edit: Fixed my own quote.

[[Jo...]]

 

[shadow=blue,left]Being A Team Player[/shadow]

By Medoly Beattie

 

 

 

 

You may have heard this saying: “Unless you’re the lead dog, the view never changes.”  Not everyone is the lead dog. Not everyone is the CEO or leading man. Better to be a working actor than an out-of-work star. At least you’re in the play.  Every person who has accomplished anything of value in this world and is honest, recognizes that he or she hasn’t done it alone. They’re part of a team. Even Christ had a group of Apostles.

 

If you’re in a supporting role, accept it. Not everyone is a leader every time. By being a part of the cast, you can make the entire production stronger. You can do your part to make it work. And you’ll learn the humility and team spirit that will be so important if you do get that lead.

 

Take a look at your life. Are you living as fully as you can where you are right now? Or are you waiting until someone recognizes your true talent to really give it your all? If you’re in a supporting rather than a starring role, maybe it’s because the cast needs the strength and talents that you can provide. Maybe the team needs a blocker. Life is not so much about the greatness of the role we’re given as it is the heart with which we play it.  It’s great to strive for the lead-dog position, but give yourself permission to enjoy and contribute from the level that you’re at right now.

God, help me to accept the role that I have been given and to play it with dignity and to the best of my ability.

 

 

I really like this one Jozsef, the spotlight can shine on the leader but it can also burn and I'm afraid of it.  In fact, I'm so uncomfortable with the spotlight that BenzoBuddies is my only online presence, I can't imagine anything being all about me.  I'm most comfortable being a being a part of the support team and this quote helps me know there is honor in that.

 

The idea that good is not in vain always helps me.

 

 

Kindly,

j

[[Jo...]]

[shadow=purple,left]Affirm Yourself[/shadow]

By Melody Beattie

 

 

 

 

When I began flying and skydiving, I found myself fumbling inadequately with new roles or parts of myself. When I began writing, I found myself fumbling with that part of myself. I want to be a writer, I’d think, but I’m not, at least not yet. I have to get this number of books published and this number of good reviews first.

 

It can take years and many successes in any new area in our lives before we can confidently say to ourselves and others, I am. I am a sky diver. I am a pilot. I am a writer. Oh, the power of those words I am.

 

You may not have much parenting experience if your first child was just born last week, but you are a mother. I didn’t have my ten-year medallion yet, but on the first day of my recovery I could honestly say, “I’m a recovering addict and alcoholic.”

 

Who or what do you want to become? A good parent? A sober, recovering person? A good girlfriend, boyfriend, or spouse? Do you want to become happy, peaceful, tolerant? Don’t wait until you’re successful to tell yourself you’re that. Start now by saying you are what you want to become instead of reinforcing the words I’m not. Yes, you have much to learn. Yes, there’s a ways to go on that path. And you may not be proficient at it, or an expert, yet. But you don’t have to be to say those two little words I am.

 

Help create the new part of your personality by using and affirming those powerful words I am. Then watch as a new part of yourself emerges.

 

God, help me use my creative powers to create a better, more fulfilling life. Help me use the words I am to create who you and I want me to be.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

___________________________________________________________________________________

 

Sacred Texts Within the Context of This Dialogue:

 

 

Romans 4:17b  " ... before him whom he believed, even God, who quickeneth the dead, and calleth those things which be not as though they were ... "

 

Romans 4:20-21  He staggered not at the promise of God through unbelief; but was strong in faith, giving glory to God; And being fully persuaded that, what he had promised, he was able also to perform.

 

2 Corinthians 4:13  We having the same spirit of faith, according as it is written, I believed, and therefore have I spoken; we also believe, and therefore speak;

 

Proverbs 23:7a  "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: ... "

 

Matthew 9:29  Then touched he their eyes, saying, According to your faith be it unto you.

 

Ephesians 3:20  Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,

 

Zechariah 4:10a  "For who hath despised the day of small things? ... "

 

Proverbs 4:18  But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day.

 

Philippians 3:13  Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sacred texts added by j

[[Pa...]]

This is so powerful Jozsef, and it can be applied to benzo withdrawal

 

I am going to recover.

 

I am not afraid of the fear.

 

I am confident I can address my anxiety without pills.

 

I am certain of who I am even though I'm temporarily unable to make this connection.

 

The list is endless...thank you. 

[[...]]

 

I think this is great Jozef!

 

The identity we have in Christ as a new creation, not identifying with our old life, but affirming our ability to be whatever we want. Asserting how important we are for Christ to have died for use. We identify with his death and resurrection, free to be who we were created to be. I AM Christ’s and he lives in me.

 

 

Some scripture that comes to mind along these lines.

 

2 Corinthians 4:11

 

For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh

 

Galatians 2:20

 

I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me

 

 

[[Jo...]]

This is so powerful Jozsef, and it can be applied to benzo withdrawal

 

I am going to recover.

 

I am not afraid of the fear.

 

I am confident I can address my anxiety without pills.

 

I am certain of who I am even though I'm temporarily unable to make this connection.

 

The list is endless...thank you. 

 

Thank you Pamster.

 

Kindly,

j

[[Jo...]]

 

I think this is great Jozef!

 

The identity we have in Christ as a new creation, not identifying with our old life, but affirming our ability to be whatever we want. Asserting how important we are for Christ to have died for use. We identify with his death and resurrection, free to be who we were created to be. I AM Christ’s and he lives in me.

 

 

Some scripture that comes to mind along these lines.

 

2 Corinthians 4:11

 

For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh

 

Galatians 2:20

 

I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me

 

Thanks TMH… j

[[Jo...]]

[shadow=purple,left]Don't Stop Living Your Story 

[/shadow]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The magic of a story lies in the spaces between the words.  This is living by one's own faith.  This is trusting.  Although much of the outcome depends on my part in it... the essence of going from "one word to the next with spaces in between" is a gift from God.  The gift of life.  The gift of faith... provided I do my part.  Even when I do my part, the spaces and words can seem bad... or like the outcome is or will be nothing but failure and demise.  Nevertheless... when I keep the faith (which is my part ultimately... to keep the faith God gives to me) I am moving forward towards the end of the story of my life.

 

When I read a novel, I often find that the writer gives me only the barest elements of a scene, and yet my imagination fills in all the blank spaces from my experiences, my hopes, my desires.  I don’t need the author to give me all of the details.  I just need to keep the faith and love until the end.

 

So it is with life. Often I am given only the barest outline of the path that I am to follow, and yet if I am silent and listen to my heart, I can hear all of the details of my path spelled out for me, a step at a time... in hindsight.... not necessarily beforehand.  The things that remain clear seem to become clear after the fact... when I didn't even realize what was happening at the time.  There is no need to have everything laid out for me beforehand.  If it were, there would be no need to take the trip. I could simply read about it.

 

Get up.  Live your path with heart.  Fill in the blanks yourself... with love and faith and trust and hope.  I can fill them in by trying to help others along their journey of faith by loving.  In doing so... I can discover the love that God has for me... and experience it... as my faith grows stronger and stronger.  Along the way in doing this, I can receive the gifts God gave others... as I share my gift with them.  Love is being perfected in me and fear is being cast out of me.

 

I find the strength to find out how the story ends by living and loving until the end of it, instead of wanting it read to me beforehand... not having to go through it.  I need the strength to live by my own faith and to never give up and quit.  I want to keep going and let God fill in the blanks.  I don't have to fear when I am walking in love.  I don't have to worry about what the future holds in my story.  By walking in love... I am given the faith to carry on and live and endure until the end of it.  I believe the old saying, "All is well that ends well..." is true... but I don't think my story will end well... unless I keep walking by faith... while not knowing the end or even the details of the journey.

 

I can keep my faith... knowing that God loves me... and that his thoughts of me are thoughts of peace and not of evil... so eventually... God will give me an expectation for the end of my story... and also the end of the story itself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

________________________________________________

 

Sacred text within the dialogue of this meditation:

 

 

Habakkuk 2:4  Behold, his soul which is lifted up is not upright in him: but the just shall live by his faith.

 

Isaiah 30:21  And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left.

 

Psalm 37:23-24  The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.  Though he fall, he shall not be utterly [permanently] cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand.

 

Proverbs 4:26  Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established.

 

1 John 4:18  There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

 

Romans 1:17  For therein is the righteousness of God revealed from faith to faith: as it is written, The just shall live by faith.

 

2 Corinthians 13:11b  " ... Be perfect, be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace shall be with you... "

 

James 3:18  And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.

 

Ecclesiastes 11:4-7  He that observeth the wind shall not sow; and he that regardeth the clouds shall not reap.  As thou knowest not what is the way of the spirit, nor how the bones do grow in the womb of her that is with child: even so thou knowest not the works of God who maketh all.  In the morning sow thy seed, and in the evening withhold not thine hand: for thou knowest not whether shall prosper, either this or that, or whether they both shall be alike good.  Truly the light is sweet, and a pleasant thing it is for the eyes to behold the sun:

 

Ecclesiastes 11:2-3  Give a portion to seven, and also to eight; for thou knowest not what evil shall be upon the earth.  If the clouds be full of rain, they empty themselves upon the earth: and if the tree fall toward the south, or toward the north, in the place where the tree falleth, there it shall be.  [where I (the tree) fall... is my spiritual condition at the end of my journey... it's how my story ends]

 

Job 6:11  What is my strength, that I should hope? and what is mine end, that I should prolong my life ?

 

Psalm 39:4  LORD, make me to know mine end, and the measure of my days, what it is; that I may know how frail I am.

 

Job 13:15  Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him.

 

Jeremiah 29:11  For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

 

Psalm 34:19  Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the LORD delivereth him out of them all.

 

James 5:11  Behold, we count them happy which endure.  Ye have heard of the patience of Job, and have seen the end of the Lord; that the Lord is very pitiful, and of tender mercy.

 

Hebrews 10:35  Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward. [at the end of my story]

 

Ephesians 6:8  Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive of the Lord, whether he be bond or free.

 

Isaiah 64:4  For since the beginning of the world men have not heard, nor perceived by the ear, neither hath the eye seen, O God, beside thee, what he hath prepared for him that waiteth for him.

 

Isaiah 30:18  And therefore will the LORD wait, that he may be gracious unto you, and therefore will he be exalted, that he may have mercy upon you: for the LORD is a God of judgment: blessed are all they that wait for him.

 

By j and Melody Beattie

Sacred Texts added by j

[[wi...]]

Acceptance

by Melody Beattie

 

 

 

 

A magical potion is available to us today. That potion is called acceptance.

 

We are asked to accept many things: ourselves, as we are; our feelings, needs, desires, choices, and current status of being. Other people, as they are. The status of our relationships with them. Problems. Blessings. Financial status. Where we live. Our work, our tasks, our level of performance at these tasks.

 

Resistance will not move us forward, nor will it eliminate the undesirable. But even our resistance may need to be accepted. Even resistance yields to and is changed by acceptance.

 

Acceptance is the magic that makes change possible. It is not forever; it is for the present moment.

 

Acceptance is the magic that makes our present circumstances good. It brings peace and contentment and opens the door to growth, change, and moving forward.

 

It shines the light of positive energy on all that we have and are. Within the framework of acceptance, we figure out what we need to do to take care of ourselves.

 

Acceptance empowers the positive and tells God we have surrendered to the Plan. We have mastered today’s lesson, and are ready to move on.

 

 

___________________________________

 

Personal commentary:

 

 

I have been struggling with accepting my condition for a very long time.  Over 12 years.  I have found that when it comes to my health and what my ability is… I have a very hard time dealing with it and accepting it the way it is because of what benzos have done to me.  I suppose acceptance must be key to enduring.

 

 

Kindly,

j

 

I love this.  I just noticed this thread. Jozsef, if you're still active on here..I dig your avatar.

[[Be...]]

I haven't heard from Jozsef in months.  I hope he's alright.