HELP ME PLEASE

[[Ro...]]

Hi Carla,

 

Thank you so much for the offer of resources for health anxiety. I am crippled with it so would really appreciate any resources. It's my worst problem. I haven't been on here for a few days, not sure how long. I have been duvet diving but not sleeping either.

 

I didn't get therapy for my health anxiety at the time I was prescribed valium over 8 years ago (I will be at 9 years in May) . I just had monthly appointments with the Psychiatrist to get prescriptions. They usually lasted about 10 minutes long.

 

I am in remote therapy weekly at the moument as I have developed very bad agoraphobia too and don't leave the house at all. That is helping.

 

I hope that your anxiety remains mild and continues to improve. It sounds like you are doing well with the resources you are using. I am keen to try them.

 

I do get a wave everytime I cut since I hit lower doses. Cant remember exactly right now as my brain is fried with no slepp. It was under 5mg ish. It's all a bit of a blur. I think maybe I am a bad case as I was on valium for so long. I am getting hammered at the minute. I thought I was coming out of this wave recently but it got worse which is a first. I can usually tell.

 

Sending hugs and hopes for good days  Roxy 

[[Ca...]]

I'm sorry you are going through a wave right now, what symptoms are you experiencing.

 

Now that we can recover from anxiety you just have to understand how it works. Health anxiety is just a symptom of anxiety , you recover the same way, basically by stopping the fight , accepting that those thoughts are just here because your brain is sensitized at the moment and the more you worry the more you keep your brain sensitized the more it keeps you in the cycle. So we have to not react to what anxiety throw at us to let the brain heal it self. it is the only way and i see hundreds of people recovering fully.

 

here a link of a guy who's recovered and do good videos, this one about health anxiety but i recommand you to watch the rest too

 

One book that will help you to understand what's going on and how to recover is HOPE AND HELP FOR YOUR NERVES , by Claire Weekes

 

You have to act on your recovery right now this is the good time to learn new behaviours instead of olds patterns that keep you stuck in your anxiety. Dont wait to end your taper to change!

 

Recovery is very simple but it is hard to apply , hard to not react and not add 2nd fear to your 1st fear. ( you will see in the book) .

 

We need to practice again and again, i am in a set back but it happens and doesnt mean i will not recover, im back to basic , seeing anxiety the right way.

 

xx

[[Cb...]]

If it were me, I would go back up and stabilize.  Akisthesia is very stressful and I would want to get out of that as soon as I could.

[[Ca...]]

Hey Pamster ,

 

Hope you can read my message and give me a little answer,

 

So tomorrow it will be 3 weeks since i crashed and 4 weeks since my last cut. Im improving bit by bit evereday, sleeping well around 10hours per night, I improved my mental anxiety , but still have jittery anxiety in my body, or some feeling " sick" i dont know how to describe.

 

at night after my dose, i feel almost back to normal.

 

My biggest dose it at night at 8.30 PM ( 1,5mg) et my other dose is at 8.30AM (0,75mg). Half life of bromazepam is quite uncertain i found between 11 and 27 hours.

 

Should i take a 3rd dose ? i didnt felt interdose withdrawal before so is it because im not stabilize yet ?

 

I know i have to be patient because of my big cut but some people scare me that it may take few months .

 

How do you know you are stabilize 

 

Thank you for your precious help

[[Pa...]]

To stabilize means functional, not feeling great but able to perform daily duties and the thought of reducing your dose again doesn't put you into a panic.  That said, if you're thinking you might want to add a third dose you'll want to hold off on cutting again until you stabilize from that.  Bromazepam looks to be about the same half life as Ativan and most Ativan/Lorazepam users will dose three times a day. 

 

Since you're sleeping so well it looks like you can afford to take a bit off of your evening dose if you wanted to add a third dose midday.  If you decide to keep it just two doses, it looks to me like you're getting close to be able to reduce again.

 

What do you think you'd like to do?

[[Ca...]]

Your message just sent me into half panic... i'm still chocked by what happened to me...and I dont want to stay like this my whole taper...

 

There is still some stuff i dont get about taper. I mean my first cuts I had mild symptoms for few days but then after one week i was feeling back to before taper. I dont know if i was feeling "great" but i was not noticing any symptoms.

 

I just don't want to suffer otherwise I dont get the point to do a very slow taper. I mean not everybody suffers right, they are not on forums...

 

Thank you for giving me a bit of clarity about this

 

 

[[Pa...]]

Yes, there are some who can discontinue these drugs without problems, but from what I've seen here, many who could get off of them one or two times in the past reach a point where they no longer can and they end up here.  I'm sorry I put you into a half panic, you may not be ready to reduce again.

 

The purpose of a taper is to hopefully be able to live your life as you reduce your dose, cutting too quickly or stopping cold turkey can impact your ability to do this.  Once off the drug there is still healing to be done but if you've done a nice slow taper then it can be possible to step off the drug without being hit with horrific symptoms.  Most will still have to deal with symptoms at this point but for some they're mild or tolerable.  Your brain is repairing the damage done by the drug the entire time you're tapering and it still has some work to do when you're done.

 

I know none of your choices are good ones but this is the only way we know to get off of these drugs and that is to go through the pain. 

[[Cb...]]

I started tapering klonopin for two years and still probably have a year to go.  I had to go slowly and still it has been hell.  I’ve had to hold a lot, sometimes as long as 3 months.  For some the lower they go the harder it is but for me I was on it for so long and I wonder if people like that have a harder time because the body has been so used to it for such a long time and does not want to let go.

 

I have had to go back up to my last dose and then go even MORE slowly. But it’s obvious hon that you went way too fast and as soon as your rectify this situation you will probably feel a lot better.

[[Ca...]]

Thank you, I understand better..

 

Why do some people tell me "some never stabilize" or "stabilization is a myth"?

 

it causing me to worry again  :'(, and improve much more when I dont worry

 

Also it's the first time im trying to get off benzo...

[[Pa...]]

There is much to learn about this process and I know its scary, plus just about everyone trying to do this is miserable so you're going to read and hear a lot of negative stories.  It's important to keep a positive attitude, you know how important a good attitude is in our lives, right?  You know that people who try to keep upbeat are typically happier and healthier, this same thing applies to withdrawing from benzo's. 

 

Doing your best to use healthy coping strategies, focusing on a positive outlook, using distraction to help you with your symptoms and never doubting your recovery are very valuable assets.  Try not to listen to the negative thoughts and avoid those who will try to bring you down, you can do this because you're the only one who has the power so use it to get yourself better.

 

I have confidence in you, lean on us and we'll help you do this. 

 

Worry causes stress and stress causes an increase in symptoms, don't feed the beast, conquer it instead.

[[Ca...]]

Thank you for your support since the beginning, I know you don't have all the answers but I keep asking lol

 

I survived years of intense anxiety, I should survive this, I learned a lot in those past 3 weeks already.

 

Thank you for motivating me 

[[Ro...]]

Hi Carla,

 

I hope your set back has passed by now? I haven't been well enough to read or post for a few days. Too messy. I just wanted to say a big thank you for the health anxiety resource on YouTube. I just watched it and it makes so much sense. I am going to do the steps. The idea of the loss of confidence in the body driving the health anxiety is so relatable. Definitely going to follow this through. I will keep the book reference for later. I think I have done well if I get to the end of a few sentences of late. No concentration at all. Thank you so much

 

Symptoms wise I have pretty much all in the Ashton manual - I think there are 3 or else 4 of them I don't have. Having a particularly bad wave at the minute. Around 2 weeks in bed full time lying in a pool of sweat and wired with brutal insomnia and a lot of dizzyness, pain, paraesthesia, physical pain just about everywhere. Am sliding along the wall to get to the loo safely and back to bed. Clinging on tight like I'm being dangled over a ledge and lots of impending doom and sickening fear.

 

I'm new to using forums so have to work out how to follow things etc. Lol.

 

Sending wellness wishes. Roxy xx

 

[[Ca...]]

Omg i'm sorry you are feeling so bad i Hope it will pass soon...

 

hugs 

 

 

[[Ca...]]

Hey Pamster, hope you are doing well.

 

I have just one question...I'm holding at my dose since 6 weeks now... is it ok to hold for a bit more or im going to enter in tolerance?

I mostly have anxiety symptoms, because im worrying a lot about the withdrawal and working on that with my therapist, i also have tightness of throat or chest but difficult to know if it is the withdrawal or my anxiety...

 

I need to feel less anxious and more confident before going on...sometimes it feels like im trap in a nightmare for months, i also read some positive withdrawal stories but my brain dont want to focus on them

 

The most difficult part is intrusive thoughts " WHAT IF I NEVER STABILIZE"

 

So yeah my question is : is it ok to stay at this dose for some more time ? and how could i start moving some of my night dose during the afternoon to have a third dose

 

thank you! 🙏

[[Pa...]]

This is your taper and if you have the resources, meaning enough pills then you should do what feels right for you.  Many members will hold for months and while tolerance is certainly a concern I think you'll know if it becomes a problem and can address it then.

 

I do want you to know that obsession with this process is part of this process so the worry you're experiencing is normal and not a manifestation of your original anxiety, the withdrawal causes this and when you are free and recovered this part of it will leave you.

 

Fear and doubt are also normal emotions for us, our brains will focus on only the negative so that's why it's so important to distract ourselves from this and actively work to keep things positive so reaching out to others who understand this is important.  I'm glad you're seeing a therapist but they need to understand that the nature of benzo withdrawal makes us seem worse than we are, we're not as broken as we seem because when we recover, most of this craziness will leave us.

 

Remember that benzo's are great muscle relaxers and when we take them away our muscles complain, your chest and throat are complaining.

[[Ca...]]

Well I guess fear and worry is an issue during withdrawal but for me I already was in such fear BEFORE withdrawal during my acute anxiety disorder I started to worry a lot about the withdrawal when I started to research and saw all the withdrawal horror stories.

 

And now that I have been chocked with my too fast tapering and that I guess my nervous system is sensitized I can’t stop to worry and have HUGE fear at some point...Fear that I won’t find any balance soon

 

So I work on my thoughts but it’s so difficult with that level of fear...

 

I feel I’m losing it and thinking if I can’t make it I have to find a solution, but meds scared me of course.

 

Im a bit desperate as you can see, it’s very difficult to go on with such a level of anxiety  :'(

 

Thank you for your support I so much need it

 

 

[[Ca...]]

I start to think I should have updose when I crashed instead of waiting for a stabilization....but I listened to your advises here :'(

[[Pa...]]

I can see you had a lot going on before your benzo experience and what is happening now is making it that much worse.  If you feel you would get relief by going back up in dose then it might be time to try it.  I don't have personal experience in tapering but I've read many posts on the subject so I'll let you know what I've seen.  Updosing doesn't always bring about the relief you're hoping for, many say it just puts you on a higher dose to taper from.  But having said that, its important you feel confident about the path you're on and I can see you aren't.

 

Indecision is very hard on us, it creates it's own stress which will make us feel worse as a result so if you're considering updosing then it might be a good idea to do it so you'll know one way or the other what your path should be.  Tapering is all about experimentation with you as the subject unfortunately.  I know it's a terrible place to be in and I wish we had more to offer you than a painful and lengthy taper plagued with doubt and fear.  It's barbaric these are the only tools we have to be free of these drugs. 

[[Ca...]]

Pamster,

:'( :'(

I feel like I’m dying today, I’m washed by horrific chemical anxiety. Never felt that way ! It’s like burning inside

 

I am one week before my periods and it might trigger it

 

I need help please I’m really scared of what is happening I feel like I’m losing my mind

 

Feel like going to psychiatric emergency  :'( :'(

[[Pa...]]

Many women report increased symptoms around their periods, they talk about it here: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=109103.0

 

I wonder if you might post there to get some support?

 

I'm so very sorry for your pain, is there anyone there with you, can you talk to someone to help calm you?  Are you able to take a walk, I found just that simple distraction was enough to get my mind off how horrible I was feeling.

 

You're not losing your mind, this is simply the bi-product of a stupid pill.  I know it's scary but it this won't last, this is just part of the process, try not to give it anymore power over you.

[[Ca...]]

Thank you... yes my boyfriend is with me supporting me every minute. Im just in a survival mode

 

Was wondering if propranolol would help ? I know it helps with aka I feel close to aka just not the need to move .

 

I know it won’t last but for the time being and not knowing when it will pass it’s so distressing

 

Never felt such agony

[[Pa...]]

I don't have any experience with propranolol but if you'll look on the Other Medications there are many threads about it.

 

I'm glad you're not alone. 

[[Ca...]]

Pamster I don’t know what you can do , but waiting for at the psychiatric emergencies to talk to someone...

 

I don’t know if anyone can relate to this....

 

My anxiety was so bad today, I can’t go on like this , I’m failing...

 

What can I do honestly ? People say updose doesn’t always work and to not do it, but I can’t suffer like this and put my sanity il danger . I never felt like this before,  Why after 5 weeks hold...?

 

 

Edit: Content

 

 

[[Pa...]]

Is there anything you can do to distract yourself, I did my best to stay busy because even a moment when you're not focusing on your symptoms can be a relief. 

 

If you're still thinking about an updose then maybe you should do it, sometimes making a decision is what we need to do because indecision is very stressful which of course will make you feel worse.

 

 

[[Ca...]]

Do you think holding will help with my anxiety?

I know it is because of the WD , because I didn’t had this everyday anxiety before my 3rd cut and my crash.... and some people taper with huge anxiety all along but I can’t do that honestly.

 

Im losing hope my system is going to self regulate...

 

Thank you <3