Emergency please help

[[Ar...]]

When I had not slept, the stupid doctor didn’t understand that it was benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome and tried to make me sleep with the help of psychotropic drugs. The more I drank them, the worse I got and this irreversibly damaged the brain, causing extrapyramidal disturbances.

[[st...]]

When I had not slept for 4 months, the stupid doctor didn’t understand that it was benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome and tried to make me sleep with the help of psychotropic drugs. The more I drank them, the worse I got and this irreversibly damaged the brain, causing extrapyramidal disturbances.

I’m so sorry!  I really am. I’m sorry for all of us. Thank you for taking the time to reach out to me. I’m sorry I’m not making much sense.

[[Ar...]]

Stay away from brain-altering drugs. They are more dangerous than street drugs.

[Guest [pa...]]

I’m been off for a year I only just took one. It’s been 5 or so days with no sleep. I’m really scared.

I only took rescue doses for two days (to counter amitriptyline) and it threw me into cold-turkey withdrawal. Before that I was fine. That's why I said don't take rescue doses unless you plan on reinstating. There are other options such as hydroxyzine, trazodone, lemborexant etc. though how much they can work for benzo-induced insomnia is debatable.

[[st...]]

I’m been off for a year I only just took one. It’s been 5 or so days with no sleep. I’m really scared.

I only took rescue doses for two days (to counter amitriptyline) and it threw me into cold-turkey withdrawal. Before that I was fine. That's why I said don't take rescue doses unless you plan on reinstating. There are other options such as hydroxyzine, trazodone, lemborexant etc. though how much they can work for benzo-induced insomnia is debatable.

 

I have tried everything. I’m not back into cold turkey I’m just the same but with no sleep.

[[le...]]

Sorry you are still suffering. My sleep was not too bad up to 4 weeks ago but now insomnia kicked in again. Can't understand after why after so long this is happening. I did take one off dose zop which did help. Now seems we'll be going into 4 week lockdown really made me even more depressed. Hope things soon improve for you.

[[st...]]

Two cold-turkeys can really mess with your nervous system, making it longer to recover. Going back on the drugs probably would not be a good idea unless you want to perhaps prolong what you are going through now. My advice is to make yourself eat healthy food, keep hydrated even if you don't feel thirsty and spend your time in bed resting even if it doesn't seem that you are sleeping. I would bet money that you have been getting sustaining microsleeps without being aware of them. Remember that high levels of anxiety are symptoms of withdrawal that are made worse by lack of sleep. The anxiety wants to keep telling you that things will not be okay because that is the only thing that it knows to say. Don't listen to it too much.

I’m not looking to go back on. I’m honestly terrified of taking it. I just need to sleep or I’ll go crazy. I’m so scared now I have fatal insomnia. I wasn’t worried about it before but it’s making sense.

 

Don't go down that "fatal insomnia" road. After well over 5 years on BenzoBuddies, I can't tell you how many times I heard people express their fear of having it. None did, in fact an extremely micro-percent of humans actually get it.

It scares me as I have every symptom and I don’t see insomnia cases here as extreme as mine. I did get a few minutes of sleep last night but no REM. Do you think I’ll be ok?  It’s been 5 or 6 days but I’ve had micro sleeps.

[[al...]]

Not being able to sleep is pretty scary, but your body and mind will fall asleep before anything serious happens. We tend to get recovery sleeps at some point and then the process starts over again. Over time the insomnia lessens and the recovery sleeps become more common until they are the norm. When I used to tell people how little sleep I was getting many did not believe me and told me that I should be dead by now. That was not true for me and will not be true for you.

 

I don't believe that you ever mentioned drinking alcohol, but I will give this warning all the same. Don't drink any! Alcohol messes up GABA receptors in a similar way that benzos do. Over the years many buddies on this site experienced major setbacks when they though that it was safe to return to social drinking.

 

 

[[st...]]

Not being able to sleep is pretty scary, but your body and mind will fall asleep before anything serious happens. We tend to get recovery sleeps at some point and then the process starts over again. Over time the insomnia lessens and the recovery sleeps become more common until they are the norm. When I used to tell people how little sleep I was getting many did not believe me and told me that I should be dead by now. That was not true for me and will not be true for you.

 

I don't believe that you ever mentioned drinking alcohol, but I will give this warning all the same. Don't drink any! Alcohol messes up GABA receptors in a similar way that benzos do. Over the years many buddies on this site experienced major setbacks when they though that it was safe to return to social drinking.

 

Thank you. I don’t drink alcohol and only did before all this when I was at social events or with friends. I know not to do it during the healing process and wouldn’t want to anyway. I haven’t taken anything that works on gaba other than the 2 rescue doses and I took. One at 2 months in and this most recent one. I did take Hydroxyzine last night though and I slept a bit I think. It was strange sleep but I’m happy for any bit I get.

[[jo...]]

Hi Stereotokyo,

 

I hope I can give you some encouragement!  I just joined yesterday and loved the encouraging, brilliant, Post in BB Repository Section,"What's Happing to My Brain?", by Colin, last post I found dated a year ago, on 11/1/19. Tried to forward to you but couldn't.

 

7 weeks ago I had to do sudden CT stop of nightly 1 mg. Ativan for past 10 years, because of new NP Psychiatrist who's ignorant of Benzo dependence. At same

time, she stopped additional 10 year RXs of Wellbutrin, 300 mg,for Depression,  and 4 year RX of Vyvanse, 40 mg, for recently diagnosed ADD.  I knew these RXs were in conflict, but old Psychiatrist would not reduce, taper, or change them.

 

New NP said stop all current RXs immediately and prescribed 25 mg. of Seroquel for insomnia and depression. It worked first night, then seemed to stop after 3 nights, and I stopped it, not wanting to keep adding new drugs, and I didn't like side effect warnings.

 

After 4 more weeks of no sleep insomnia, a new general MD prescribed Dayvigo, 5 mg.( a new sleep medication, reported to cause low side effects compared to Ambien,Lunesta, etc.

 

Dayvigo didn't work alone, but MD approved adding 25 mg Seroquel, and 100 mg. Gabapentin, and taking all 3 together, immediately after turning off TV, phone, light , rather than taking them first and waiting to get sleepy.

 

Am relieved to say this has worked for me personally this week, and better if I eat early dinner before 8 and avoid carbs or sugar after 6 p.m.

 

I hope this helps, and especially, the Post explaining the brain chemistry helped me understand and feel less worried.

 

your benzo buddy,

joray

 

[[st...]]

Hi Stereotokyo,

 

I hope I can give you some encouragement!  I just joined yesterday and loved the encouraging, brilliant, Post in BB Repository Section,"What's Happing to My Brain?", by Colin, last post I found dated a year ago, on 11/1/19. Tried to forward to you but couldn't.

 

7 weeks ago I had to do sudden CT stop of nightly 1 mg. Ativan for past 10 years, because of new NP Psychiatrist who's ignorant of Benzo dependence. At same

time, she stopped additional 10 year RXs of Wellbutrin, 300 mg,for Depression,  and 4 year RX of Vyvanse, 40 mg, for recently diagnosed ADD.  I knew these RXs were in conflict, but old Psychiatrist would not reduce, taper, or change them.

 

New NP said stop all current RXs immediately and prescribed 25 mg. of Seroquel for insomnia and depression. It worked first night, then seemed to stop after 3 nights, and I stopped it, not wanting to keep adding new drugs, and I didn't like side effect warnings.

 

After 4 more weeks of no sleep insomnia, a new general MD prescribed Dayvigo, 5 mg.( a new sleep medication, reported to cause low side effects compared to Ambien,Lunesta, etc.

 

Dayvigo didn't work alone, but MD approved adding 25 mg Seroquel, and 100 mg. Gabapentin, and taking all 3 together, immediately after turning off TV, phone, light , rather than taking them first and waiting to get sleepy.

 

Am relieved to say this has worked for me personally this week, and better if I eat early dinner before 8 and avoid carbs or sugar after 6 p.m.

 

I hope this helps, and especially, the Post explaining the brain chemistry helped me understand and feel less worried.

 

your benzo buddy,

joray

 

Thanks, I’m familiar with the post since I’ve been here for almost a year now.

 

I’m glad that combo works for you. I had tried Seroquel for less than a month before ending up on Clonazepam and it did not help and made me have crazy sleep stuff like jerks and adrenaline surges. I was also on Gabapentin with Clonazepam but it didn’t do anything for me and I have been off of it since 2018. I only took Clonazepam for Insomnia. Gabapentin was supposed to “help the calming effect” to help sleep even more. I’ve been off all meds for a year other than 2 rescue doses of Clonazepam and I had tried the lowest dose of an antidepressant in the early months of withdrawal. I don’t want to add any meds myself. I’ll just take Hydroxyzine in emergencies now that I know it can work. Thanks again though and I hope you continue to get better.

[[Te...]]

Siggy would be someone whose posts you could read. Or you could take a chance and PM him. He hasn't been on here since October 2, 2020, but he might check back soon again.

 

He had a terrible time for years with insomnia, and he also had to work. Maybe you could get some pointers from his posts.

[[Th...]]

MTFan went an entire month with only 2 or 3 perceived sleep periods.  EastCoast went for almost a year on microsleeps.

 

I kept a sleep log and had about 70 zero nights or nights of no perceived sleep over a 9 month period of time.  I averaged 5 - 10 hours per week for months and months.

 

I would often go for 3 and sometimes 4 nights in a row with no perceived sleep and I did that about 10 - 12 times.

 

You are not a special case.  Others have had it just as bad or worse than you.  However, this a not a contest to see who has the worst sleep as there is no prize or award for having the worst sleep!

 

At 18 months off I got hit with a month long insomnia wave with 4 zero nights and many nights of 1 or 2 hours.  It eventually evened out.

 

A year off is good, but there's no guarantee you won't get hit with some heavy duty waves of insomnia where you don't sleep for days on end.

 

I thought I had fatal insomnia too.  But I didn't and you don't either.  I believe that everyone that has severe insomnia thinks they do at one point or another?

 

It's all part of the recovery process.  Time will heal you.  You'll get there, just stay away from Benzos and other Rx drugs designed for sleep!

[[Br...]]

i am with you.... i experience the same. started benzo because of insomnia now i am off .... i also had many sleepless night even this week maybe 5 days of sleepless night maybe. i am tired exhausted. but i read the book from claire weekes healing for your nerves. and many from insomnia forum actually got better... Insomnia is actually anxiety and anxiety about sleep and health issue with sleeplessness...the key is acceptance... but acceptance is hard i tell you. acceptance is like giving up. giving up yourself to the torment and suffering. not using acceptance to get sleep or how to sleep but really really accept and give up sleep.... this is hard. i know and i am with you. my mind keep wondering oh man maybe this is the end for me almost every moment every second is like carrying heavy burden and pain every second is like that.

[[Th...]]

Yes, not sleeping is the worst form of "torture" I know.

 

And acceptance does feel like giving up, but it's not giving up.  It's accepting that your brain/body will get all the sleep they need and when they need it.

 

Not freaking out goes a long way toward getting some sleep.

 

Hoping the sandman visits you soon and often! 

[[Br...]]

Giving up to try to fight or fix it... and accept the situation and torture that is happening right now. thats what i mean

[[Br...]]

@stereotokyo boy do you want to chat in other platform? you and i are the same age. also been suffering insomnia for 5 years... maybe i can give a bit of advice.

[[Si...]]

Hi everyone, really sorry to hear all of you that are still in this insomnia boat. I wish I had some magic lever to pull to fix it all. Or some crystal ball to be able to tell all of you when it will end. I've just passed through a third setback. That one lasted about 7-1/2 months. I'm now almost 7 years from the original benzo withdrawal. So I've recovered from extreme insomnia now 4 different times. It sucked equally bad each and every time I went through it. But the good news is that I eventually did get better. Each time. There's no sugar coating the distress and anxiety when another night comes and you don't know how well or if you will sleep at all. Especially after a few of them start stacking up.

 

I know you can't tell that you have micro-sleeps, and they are no substitute for getting hours of sleep, but it will keep you alive. I had no idea I was getting micro-sleeps until my wife recorded me snoring for 20 seconds once in the middle of the night.

 

I tried pretty much most of the common OTC and natural remedies I could. I was so desperate and was very tempted to try an antidepressant or antipsychotic, but each time I ended up refusing to take any. Not that I look down on anyone that does choose to try that. It's hard not caring about sleep, but you basically have to convince yourself to not care about it. A few things that I did try that helped some were, Epsom salt baths, Hydroxyzine on occasion, and Tart Cherry for natural melatonin. Also I would wear myself out with hard physical exercise and yard work. This wouldn't always help 100%, but it was a way to hammer the anxiety out of myself and give my body a better chance of falling asleep.

 

stereotokyo, I hope you've gotten some good nights in since your last post.

 

I don't come on here much, but I do pop in every once in a while. I'm not sure what I would have done without the support of people on here. Especially at 3 or 4am when I would start getting really upset.

[[Sh...]]

Siggy it’s so great of u to come back and give stereo and others a good pep talk! It’s greatly appreciated x sorry for ur setback. I have read thru a lot of ur posts (being an insomniac) and see u had had a few. I hope this one will have been ur last x

[[Si...]]

Siggy it’s so great of u to come back and give stereo and others a good pep talk! It’s greatly appreciated x sorry for ur setback. I have read thru a lot of ur posts (being an insomniac) and see u had had a few. I hope this one will have been ur last x

 

Aww thanks! I've had so many people help me here, and I try to do the same. I know how bad this stuff can get and how hard it is to deal with. Hopefully it will be my last! 

[[ke...]]

Consider a sedating AD such as remeron

[[st...]]

Hi everyone, really sorry to hear all of you that are still in this insomnia boat. I wish I had some magic lever to pull to fix it all. Or some crystal ball to be able to tell all of you when it will end. I've just passed through a third setback. That one lasted about 7-1/2 months. I'm now almost 7 years from the original benzo withdrawal. So I've recovered from extreme insomnia now 4 different times. It sucked equally bad each and every time I went through it. But the good news is that I eventually did get better. Each time. There's no sugar coating the distress and anxiety when another night comes and you don't know how well or if you will sleep at all. Especially after a few of them start stacking up.

 

I know you can't tell that you have micro-sleeps, and they are no substitute for getting hours of sleep, but it will keep you alive. I had no idea I was getting micro-sleeps until my wife recorded me snoring for 20 seconds once in the middle of the night.

 

I tried pretty much most of the common OTC and natural remedies I could. I was so desperate and was very tempted to try an antidepressant or antipsychotic, but each time I ended up refusing to take any. Not that I look down on anyone that does choose to try that. It's hard not caring about sleep, but you basically have to convince yourself to not care about it. A few things that I did try that helped some were, Epsom salt baths, Hydroxyzine on occasion, and Tart Cherry for natural melatonin. Also I would wear myself out with hard physical exercise and yard work. This wouldn't always help 100%, but it was a way to hammer the anxiety out of myself and give my body a better chance of falling asleep.

 

stereotokyo, I hope you've gotten some good nights in since your last post.

 

I don't come on here much, but I do pop in every once in a while. I'm not sure what I would have done without the support of people on here. Especially at 3 or 4am when I would start getting really upset.

Thanks for coming back. I hope you’re doing better. I’m sleeping but I have many issues involving sleep like a non-24 like schedule to where my sleep gets delayed slowly to where it flips to where I’m asleep all day and awake all night and then slowly flips to the opposite. That and waking up every hour or two. It’s only every so often that I get the 4+ no sleep nights. They’re awful but still far from my worst symptoms. I really hope this year I’ll show some improvements.

[[di...]]

You will stereo, I feel it in my bones.

[[...]]

I’ve been reading through all these posts because I’m in day 4 of hardly any sleep and it’s crushing me. I’m glad to know I’m not alone and that it’s possible to get through it all.

[[Sh...]]

Hi SRR x I get 0-4 every night. It’s awful. Ur definitely not alone x