Here I am again

[[ho...]]

Siggy,

 

You'll get through this.  You healed once before.  You know how to sleep.  Maybe practice a mild version of CBT-I to get you back on track?  www.insomniacoach.com has a lot of good suggestions.  I'm 16 months out and trying the program through University of Pennsylvania.  I'm not sure if I'm healed enough to see the improvements that I'm hoping for, but I'm going to do my best to stick with it.  I'm getting 5-6 hours one night then maybe 3-4 the next one or 2 nights.  Did you experience these ups and downs in your recovery before it got better?

[[Si...]]

Hi hopefulinpa!

 

Thanks for the reply. I’ve been through withdrawal, recovery and two alcohol setbacks. So I’m REALLY over this crap. It took me 6 months to get better the first time. Then screwed up around 10 months off and had a setback from alcohol. That was really bad and lasted 10 months. Then I felt healed for a year. I was really dumb and drank again. That setback lasted for about 4 months. Then I went two and a half years feeling totally normal until this. Totally gave up alcohol. I really didn’t expect it to happen again this way and wasn’t paying attention to what meds the ER was giving me. I should have a let in my wallet at all times of no no drugs.

 

Yes I had a lot of up and downs. Glad that you are able to get some sustained sleep amounts. Each time I healed I got back to me typical 6-½ to 7-½ hour a night sleep. Sometimes in the weekend I would be able to get 8-10. I’d typically fall asleep within 15 minutes too. Which is one of the most distressing things about this. Each time I’ve gone  through this my sleep has been super screwed up. A lot of nights with 0 sleep. I’m really hoping this setback is short lived.

 

Take care!

 

PS thanks for the link. I’ve read a little on CBT, but never fully got into it.

[[Si...]]

Got 3-5 hours of broken sleep the last week. Last night basically didn’t sleep at all.

[[He...]]

So just to be clear you are off all

Alcohol and all benzo and other

drugs medications.

(full disclosure I am not)

Good luck. If you are drug free

it’s bound to improve.

[[Si...]]

Hi Healthyme123,

 

Yes I haven’t had alcohol in over three years and no drugs either. What caused this was a drug given to me in the ER. Slept about 5-½ hours last night, but that was after not sleeping the night before. Went to bed at 11:30pm and woke up around 4:30am. Just want to go back to my typical sleep pattern before this happened. Hoping we all get better soon.

[[He...]]

Have things gotten better for you ? Ty

[[Si...]]

Hi Healthyme123,

 

A little bit. My sleep still isn't great, but I'm getting by. Got about 4-½ to 5 hours last night. I've been using a weighted blanket to keep me from twitching and jerking.  I'm waking up a few times during the night. It takes me a little while to go back to sleep. Have a few other symptoms that have popped up, and hoping they clear soon. Thanks for checking in on me!

 

How are you doing?

[[He...]]

Hi well I’m fair. Ty

I’m still on my dose of

cloz. holding a long time

until I can determine

my taper. They tried

to push adding SSRI

again on me. Just not

sure I want to go into

that place. Sounds you

are getting better. Be

patient. Tc

[[Si...]]

Hi well I’m fair. Ty

I’m still on my dose of

cloz. holding a long time

until I can determine

my taper. They tried

to push adding SSRI

again on me. Just not

sure I want to go into

that place. Sounds you

are getting better. Be

patient. Tc

 

Take it as slow as you need or feel you should go. Thanks fir responding to me. Last night was really rough. Maybe only 2 or 3 hours of very broken sleep. After a week of better, but still broken sleep. Hoping I’m making some progress. Next Sunday will mark 4 weeks into this setback.

 

Take care!

[[Si...]]

I’m still not doing well. I had a stretch of 50 days where I was sleeping 4-5 hours most nights, sometimes a little more. Even though usually with several wake ups. Although I always felt terrible after waking up. The past week it’s gotten worse. I’ve had one zero night and several close to that (like tonight). I maybe had 30 minutes after I got in bed at 11:30. Then eventually fell asleep for maybe another hour. I can’t believe I’m going through this garbage again. I’ve basically hit the three month mark from this setback. I’m really hoping for big improvements in the next four weeks like my last setback.

[[Th...]]

Siggy,

 

Sorry you are going through this BS again.  But I am confident it will even out. 

 

The zero and next to zero nights suck.  I still get those next to zero nights about every 6-8 weeks and I'll be off 4 years on August 5, less than 4 months from now.

 

Hang in there!

[[Si...]]

Thanks! I'm having a lot of the other symptoms I had last time too. I just really hoping they clear up within the next month like they did before. I just wish I were getting some good nights. I feel like this has a lot to do physically with my nervous system, but probably mentally too. I just don't know how to get it straight again.

 

Were you still going to work back when you having your bad insomnia?

[[Th...]]

Sorry about the symptoms too.  That does suck.

 

I went to work most of the time when I was having really bad sleep.  I had at least 10 - 12 times where I went 3 and sometimes 4 nights in a row with zero or no perceived sleep.  At first, I stayed home,  then I went in after thinking it wasn't possible.  When I realized that I could work on no or very little sleep, I just kept going into work.  I ended up taking about 20 sick days over 10 months or about 2 per month average. 

 

Now when I get an off night or even a zero night like I had last year, I still go to work and find that it really isn't an issue at all.  It's more of a psychological battle worrying about if I will sleep the next night or not, but I almost always do.

 

I had a lot of symptoms too, but sleep (or lack of it) was by far my worst symptom.

 

I am sure this will quickly end for you as in the past! 

[[Si...]]

Thanks for the replies. I got really really sleepy around 12 and went to bed and fell asleep right away. I woke up around 5:30am. I was able to eventually fall back to sleep until around 8:30am. For some reason now I’m depressed. I still have the burning uneasy feeling in my head and spine.

 

I’ve done the same thing at work as far as sleep, but I just want to go back to my normal sleep pattern before this all happened.

[[Ni...]]

Siggy,

Sorry to hear you’re in a set back but I’m sure it won’t last long. I too hit another setback a few weeks ago. I discovered a painful lump in my breast and was given Tramadol for the pain. Decided to take one pill and BAM big mistake!!! Woke up within 30 minutes with a huge panic attackand couldn’t breathe. Took about an hour to calm down. Haven’t slept much since maybe 1-2 hours of broken sleep.  I’m over 5 years off a cold turkey and my sleep has never returned to normal but was getting 4-5 hours for the last 6 months which is probably the best I’ll possibly ever get. Praying sleep returns for all who suffer from what I consider the worst side effect of benzo withdrawal & recovery.

[[Si...]]

Siggy,

Sorry to hear you’re in a set back but I’m sure it won’t last long. I too hit another setback a few weeks ago. I discovered a painful lump in my breast and was given Tramadol for the pain. Decided to take one pill and BAM big mistake!!! Woke up within 30 minutes with a huge panic attackand couldn’t breathe. Took about an hour to calm down. Haven’t slept much since maybe 1-2 hours of broken sleep.  I’m over 5 years off a cold turkey and my sleep has never returned to normal but was getting 4-5 hours for the last 6 months which is probably the best I’ll possibly ever get. Praying sleep returns for all who suffer from what I consider the worst side effect of benzo withdrawal & recovery.

 

Hi niners and thanks for the reply! I’m so sorry that happened to you. Sucks that we can’t just take regular medications anymore. Hopefully the lump isn’t anything serious. I was sleeping really well before this setback. Easily 6-8 every night and sometimes 8-9 on a weekend. Crazy to go from that to this. So mad about it. I maybe got an hour of sleep tonight and now of course I’m wide awake. I just passed the three month mark since this happened. I was sleeping 4-6 broken hours most nights in March and April and the first part of May, but about 10 days ago it just nose dived for some reason and I started getting almost no sleep some nights. No idea why that happened. I had a brutal setback in 2017 from alcohol that lasted four months. So I’m hoping this clears up by then too. Hope yours turns around soon. Let us know how you’re doing.

[[Ni...]]

Siggy,

The lump turned out to be a cyst thank God. I bet stress has a lot to do with the uptick of our sleeplessness. For me it was this lump plus everything going on with COVID. For you it was the court trial that took longer then expected and caused symptoms to flare. Stress has always been a trigger in my setbacks. I tried 1/2 of a hydroxyzine last night but it didn’t do much and I ended up with grogginess instead. Ugh

 

It will eventually all calm down.

[[Si...]]

Siggy,

The lump turned out to be a cyst thank God. I bet stress has a lot to do with the uptick of our sleeplessness. For me it was this lump plus everything going on with COVID. For you it was the court trial that took longer then expected and caused symptoms to flare. Stress has always been a trigger in my setbacks. I tried 1/2 of a hydroxyzine last night but it didn’t do much and I ended up with grogginess instead. Ugh

 

It will eventually all calm down.

 

Yes, I think it was a combo of the stress charging my nervous system again and then the shot at the ER pushing it over the top. I think normally if I had only one or the other, it wouldn't have caused as many problems.

 

It certainly doesn't help with all the COVID stuff going on. I'm sure I would have handled that news better too if I were feeling like my regular self. The last 10 days have been tough. Had 50 days of sleeping ok. Mostly 4 to 6 hours nights, but waking up a lot. Then had about a two week stretch where I felt somewhat normal. Then one of the worst waves hit me and I've been there  since. That's when my sleep took a nose dive and I started having several almost no sleep nights. Just hoping that irons out soon for me. My past recoveries from setbacks I was really bad right before it got better for me. I'm just hoping that happens again and soon. Hopefully your issues will go away soon too.