Does sleep eventually feel like sleep?

[[Pt...]]

I'm not certain it's all benzo at this point, but the light broken nightmares definitely STARTED after benzos. I have a history of ptsd pre benzos, but even then it wasn't the same type of sleep disturbance as now. I also wonder if my brain "learned" this type of light sleep after being damaged my benzos and now it's some sort of ptsd insomnia.

 

yes I've wondered the same thing. Given its been so long and I'm not having any other symptoms it worries me that my brain just thinks this is normal now and has been conditioned into this state of light sleep. I hope not

 

How long has it been for u? I definitely have a myriad of other brain injury symptoms that make me think I'm still in benzo damaged brain, but the insomnia is one that I think the brain can just "learn" and stay that way, lack of executive function on the other hand is true inability for the brains lobe to function.

[[Th...]]

I'm not certain it's all benzo at this point, but the light broken nightmares definitely STARTED after benzos. I have a history of ptsd pre benzos, but even then it wasn't the same type of sleep disturbance as now. I also wonder if my brain "learned" this type of light sleep after being damaged my benzos and now it's some sort of ptsd insomnia.

 

I wouldn't worry about your brain "learning" how to stay in state it doesn't want to be in.  GABA and GLUTAMATE try to balance each other out.  GABA is your body's brake pedal and GLUTAMATE is your body's gas pedal.  Right now, during WD, your sleep switch is TEMPORARILY broken.  Your "gas pedal" is stuck to the floor, that's why you can't sleep.  It's not PTSD insomnia.  Your body knows how to repair the TEMPORARY damage.  It just takes a lot more time than we would like and as others have said is non-linear.  It is UP and DOWN, 1 step forward, 2 steps back type of healing process.  Symptoms (insomnia) are actually signs of healing.  Being negative and focusing on the negative are actually WD symptoms too.  During recovery, your mind will automatically go to the worst possible thought or scenario that could play out.  Every pain or symptom is a "serious illness" according to your Benzo racked brain.  Not sleeping well only makes whatever symptoms you have more intense.  But they will all fade and end over time.  Time is the healer.  I am 3.5 years off and my sleep is still improving.  At 15 months off I wrote a success story.  Looking back, I should have waited another 6 months to write that as I had a 29 day insomnia only wave at 18 months off and another 3 day insomnia only wave at 30 months off.  I still get an "off" night every few months of 3-4 hours of sleep, but usually I almost always get 7-10 hours per night, with the 9 and 10 hours being on the weekends.

 

I turned a corner pretty quick too.  I went from believing I would never sleep normally again to sleeping OK within a few weeks, it was at about 10 months off.  I went from 1-3 hours to 3-5 hours per night.  It sure felt like I was "healed" but sleep slowly has improved ever since with an occasional backslide to some lousy nights for days or weeks.  After month 30, I have been doing really well.  You'll get there.  Just be grateful for any sleep you do get.

 

When sleep does start to return, it may not feel refreshing or restorative.  That takes some time 2.  I think at about 18 months off it started to feel refreshing for me, but not all of the time.  Now it does every night!

[[Pt...]]

The symptom that makes me feel like it's ptsd insomnia is that I'm not just dealing with broken and short hours. I'm ALWAYS nervous and anxious even when I'm asleep and trying to falling asleep. It's like my subconscious is always firing scary signals which make my entire nervous system tight, scared, nervous. It becomes an emotional torture. Not just laying in bed not sleeping. Not just short sleep. Not just light sleep. I have yet to hear about this disturbing symptom from others who's have recovered.

 

I will lay there trying to comfort myself and tell myself that I'm safe, I'm relaxed.  But after a few minutes there's a subconscious signal that tells my muscles to get tight, that tell me to feel scared. It happens throughout the night and even when I'm "asleep".

 

People who have healed focus on the number of hours. Nobody ever mentions this sensation that is even worse than just laying in bed without falling asleep.

[[Me...]]

Other thing to remember: everyone had sleepless nights whether or not they've ever been on benzos. Everyone has anxious days or weeks or months. Depression happens and gets better (without pills) just not instantly. Not everything that happens to us is caused by benzos and it is almost certainly not forever. If you believed that why would you bother to quit?

I've found sleep is back and forth. Better nights, worse nights but trending toward better and I say that even though I don't feel very well today. Try not to obsess about "what if this is permanent?" ... from what I've read on this forum - it's not.

[[Pt...]]

Other thing to remember: everyone had sleepless nights whether or not they've ever been on benzos. Everyone has anxious days or weeks or months. Depression happens and gets better (without pills) just not instantly. Not everything that happens to us is caused by benzos and it is almost certainly not forever. If you believed that why would you bother to quit?

I've found sleep is back and forth. Better nights, worse nights but trending toward better and I say that even though I don't feel very well today. Try not to obsess about "what if this is permanent?" ... from what I've read on this forum - it's not.

 

 

Except I'm not dealing with just anxiety, depression or a sleepless night here and there. What I'm dealing with is symptoms of brain damage from neurotoxicity from this drug.

[[Th...]]

The symptom that makes me feel like it's ptsd insomnia is that I'm not just dealing with broken and short hours. I'm ALWAYS nervous and anxious even when I'm asleep and trying to falling asleep. It's like my subconscious is always firing scary signals which make my entire nervous system tight, scared, nervous. It becomes an emotional torture. Not just laying in bed not sleeping. Not just short sleep. Not just light sleep. I have yet to hear about this disturbing symptom from others who's have recovered.

 

I will lay there trying to comfort myself and tell myself that I'm safe, I'm relaxed.  But after a few minutes there's a subconscious signal that tells my muscles to get tight, that tell me to feel scared. It happens throughout the night and even when I'm "asleep".

 

People who have healed focus on the number of hours. Nobody ever mentions this sensation that is even worse than just laying in bed without falling asleep.

 

I know it feels like PTSD, but I can assure you that it is ALL WD related.  I developed (and what you are describing is similar) sleep anxiety.  Every night before I would go to bed I would get extremely nervous and yes, my muscles would get tense and a feeling of doom and dread would spread through me.  I thought I had fatal insomnia.  It's all part of the process.  I am sorry I only focused on hours of sleep, but I had a pretty similar experience to you for months and months and so have others.

[[Pt...]]

Thanks

[[Ac...]]

Yes the sleep anxiety is very real and of course hinders the ability to get restful sleep. This is very typical for any individual with insomnia even if they were never on a benzo and I’m sure sleep anxiety is present for most of us suffering benzo related insomnia too. I certainly have plenty of nights where it gets the best of me and I agree those feelings are probably worse than the exhaustion. If you aren’t 100% convinced it’s all benzo related, for example, If you had similar symptoms pre-benzo, then perhaps giving cbt-I a try,  especially the sleep restriction aspect of it, may help.

[[Pt...]]

I can't sleep restrict myself more than the current restriction. It's not possible

[[Th...]]

IMO, I would honestly not try CBT-I or sleep restriction or anything else until you have recovered to the point where those might work. I highly doubt 7 months off is the right time?  I don't need these options now, but had I tried them at about 24 months off, I may have gotten the results I wanted?

 

Others have said the same thing.  CBT-I and sleep restriction WILL NOT WORK during the thick of your Benzo induced insomnia!

 

But it will get better and sleep will return.  You just need more TIME!

 

 

[[Pt...]]

The thing is I'm getting some sleep but never deep sleep. Always light dream like semi awake broken sleep. Ptsd people get this too so I wonder now if it's ptsd insomnia

[[...]]

Same for me. I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD and have the same issue. I don’t know anything about how PTSD affects sleep, but I’m having the exact same symptoms. I know this type is sleep is common in benzo wd, so it’s hard to pinpoint the cause. All I know is that it’s horrible. I can “sleep” for 7 hours and wake up as if I got zero.

[[He...]]

I slept 5 to 6 hrs last

night but feel like I got

no sleep. Mild headache.

Have taper plan with dr

but feel I have no patience

Ty for listening

[[Th...]]

@[He...]

 

But you are still on the "poison."  I wish I had better news, but sleep will not feel refreshing until you are off all the drugs.  And even then it can some time for sleep to feel refreshing.  At about 24 months off sleep started to really feel "normal" (pre Benzo) and refreshing for me.  Now I sleep well pretty much every night.

 

As long as you are still on the K-pin, you will struggle with sleep and symptoms, but it does get better after your taper is over and you give your body time to heal.  Hang in there.

[[Ac...]]

So before I got to these sites which was about 3 months ago, I was drinking alcohol. I had no idea you shouldn’t once off benzos. I’ve been off benzos for over a year. Have I pretty much made zero recovery since I was drinking? Is it like I’m starting from the very beginning.

[[Th...]]

So before I got to these sites which was about 3 months ago, I was drinking alcohol. I had no idea you shouldn’t once off benzos. I’ve been off benzos for over a year. Have I pretty much made zero recovery since I was drinking? Is it like I’m starting from the very beginning.

 

Too much alcohol can definitely throw you back into WD with symptoms, sleep issues, etc.  The only experience I have is with another BB (Siggy) that was recovered, but then drank a lot 2 different times at work Christmas parties and got thrown back into WD.  The 2nd time it lasted about 4.5 months for him and was worse than his original WD.  It will get better for you too, but avoid all alcohol.  Siggy ended up going through 3 different and distinct WDs.  One from Benzos and 2 other times from alcohol, but he recovered from all 3 and is doing well today!

 

Alcohol works on GABA just like Benzos.  Time will get you back to where you need to be.

[[Ac...]]

Oh wow. I wish I’d known earlier makes me wonder if I could be back to normal by now. Thx for this info

[[He...]]

I slept 10pm to 4 40 am

But woke at 12 40 am when

Prayed and meditated

until I fell back to sleep

But when I woke I felt

I got zero sleep. Feel restless.

Maybe I cut too much but want

off this stuff.

took 3 mg melatonin too

[[Tr...]]

My benzo sleep is just being unconscious for a couple of hours.  Never feel rested. After waking up, no getting back to sleep. No naps,  however tired I am. Sucks big time. Started a long hold, so real sleep is just wishfull thinking.

[[Si...]]

Hi everyone! Just popping in. Hi ThEwAy2, what's happening buddy?!

 

Everything he said about me is true. I went through one hell of a withdrawal with a couple of setbacks from alcohol. Not fun. My worst symptom all together through this whole thing was insomnia. Don't get me wrong, the other symptoms were pretty horrible, but getting no sleep made everything else worse. I would regularly go for days with 0 sleep. Sometimes I'd get a few hours and then go another 2 or 3 days with none. I'd rank myself in the group on here that had some of the worst insomnia. I never thought I'd get better. But eventually I did. I haven't missed a whole night of sleep in probably 2 years and maybe only a few nights where I got less than 3 or 4 hours. So I'm living proof that it can and will improve. It takes a lot of time, but just keep distracting and coping the best you can.

 

[[Ac...]]

Hey Siggy,

 

Thanks for sharing! Curious if you had sleep issues before benzos or just after? What do you think helped you the most with your insomnia. Thanks for being here still and providing us hope.

So glad you are well now

[[Si...]]

Hi and thanks! I never had many problems sleeping before the whole Benzo fiasco. Most of the time there wasn’t much that would help me sleep any better. At least nothing that I could tell was consistent. As far as coping with it, it was hard. But I just kept pushing forward everyday. Take care!

[[Th...]]

Hi everyone! Just popping in. Hi ThEwAy2, what's happening buddy?!

 

Everything he said about me is true. I went through one hell of a withdrawal with a couple of setbacks from alcohol. Not fun. My worst symptom all together through this whole thing was insomnia. Don't get me wrong, the other symptoms were pretty horrible, but getting no sleep made everything else worse. I would regularly go for days with 0 sleep. Sometimes I'd get a few hours and then go another 2 or 3 days with none. I'd rank myself in the group on here that had some of the worst insomnia. I never thought I'd get better. But eventually I did. I haven't missed a whole night of sleep in probably 2 years and maybe only a few nights where I got less than 3 or 4 hours. So I'm living proof that it can and will improve. It takes a lot of time, but just keep distracting and coping the best you can.

 

 

Hi Siggy,

 

Glad you dropped back on this forum to offer hope.  Hope you don't mind me sharing some of your experience with others when it fits?

I am doing really well too and get an off night of sleep about 6 times per year (every two months) usually 2 or 3 hours.  Otherwise I get 7-10 most nights!

Take care buddy!

[Guest [Bn...]]

So glad to hear theway, I don't even worry about sleep right now.  Not my focus... getting through every day is more of what I have to do.  Crazy Santa Ana winds today here in SOCAL.  Take care and glad to know that you are doing well.💜🙏💪✌️

[[Th...]]

Thanks B...

 

I  live in the midwest and there is lots of snow on the ground right now with temps in the mid and upper 20s.  I could use some of that SOCAL warmth!