Summer 2019 Jumpers - Focus Forward and Reintegration

[[ci...]]

I’m 5 weeks off now.  Things started to get a bit tougher after the 3 week point.  My morning wake up is pretty intense these days.  But it does settle down around noon.  I still have physical sxs like sweats and inner vibration in addition to anxiety.  Sleep is erratic...some days none, other days a solid 5 or 6 hours.  Keeps me guessing...

 

I am keeping a schedule of activities:  personal trainer, ceramics class, play cards, charity volunteer work.  Better than sitting home and worrying!

 

I’m hoping everyone here is doing ok. 

Libr, I saw that you’re really getting close!! Yay!

 

Circlestar

 

 

[[...]]

Glad to hear you're keeping busy circlestar.  Those activities sound fun! 

Yes, I'm getting close - I haven't calculated my exact end date but just 2-3 more wks, I think. 

Wishing speedy recoveries to everyone...

 

 

[[...]]

Yay Gardie- congrats on jumping!! And welcome to this little group!  I know what you mean about jinxing yourself- I wouldn’t announce my jumpdate to anyone til I was actually done (as you probably noticed).  So fun to have this group to celebrate all the jumpers this season. 

 

For those who have jumped, how are you doing??

Yesterday was day 3 for me and I did a spa afternoon with my girls and mom- it was amazing!  Yep even did a “couples” massage with my 7 yo. 

[[ca...]]

Congrats Gardie, well done.  I'm so Happy for you!

[[...]]

Yay Gardie- congrats on jumping!! And welcome to this little group!  I know what you mean about jinxing yourself- I wouldn’t announce my jumpdate to anyone til I was actually done (as you probably noticed).  So fun to have this group to celebrate all the jumpers this season. 

 

For those who have jumped, how are you doing??

Yesterday was day 3 for me and I did a spa afternoon with my girls and mom- it was amazing!  Yep even did a “couples” massage with my 7 yo. 

 

Thank, libr. And yes, I noticed! You weren't even changing your signature.

 

I'm so glad to hear about your spa day.

 

Haha! It ain’t over til it’s over... and now it’s over!!  Glad I had you along on this Librium journey.

[[ci...]]

Libr, Gardie, Caltn—

 

Why don’t we move over here now and leave the 3,2,1 taper thread for those who are tapering?

We don’t have to go to the post-withdrawl threads but we can still communicate with each other.  I think it’s important to think of ourselves as having completed the taper.  We have just moved into the healing phase now.  Embrace it!  Don’t be fearful.

 

We can still measure our progress by the number of days we are OFF!  That’s 73 for me.  I count it every day right now:)

 

 

[[...]]

Joining the club to learn, support and heal!

 

[[...]]

Sharing this fabulous and important article about setbacks after being sensitized by wd.

 

https://w-bad.org/reactions-setbacks/

 

[[...]]

Libr, Gardie, Caltn—

 

Why don’t we move over here now and leave the 3,2,1 taper thread for those who are tapering?

We don’t have to go to the post-withdrawl threads but we can still communicate with each other.  I think it’s important to think of ourselves as having completed the taper.  We have just moved into the healing phase now.  Embrace it!  Don’t be fearful.

 

We can still measure our progress by the number of days we are OFF!  That’s 73 for me.  I count it every day right now:)

 

Good idea to move over here.  The 3,2,1 board was turning into post-taper ...don't want to annoy the mods or ppl still tapering by talking so much about being off.

 

Gardie - I used that half-life calculator and plugged in 0.5mg Librium and it was a month to hit zero.  So somewhere between 1-3 months as you estimated.  Probably depends on other individual metabolism factors too.  Reposting the link  https://www.thecalculator.co/health/Medicine-Half-Life-Calculator-623.html

 

Circlestar - so glad you had a full window day - that is so promising!!

 

Caltn - I enjoy your posts too.  I got a new pillow so lets see if that helps my neck issues.  Macy's has a big sale on their home stuff right now!

 

4mom - welcome to the club and congrats on being finished with the taper!

 

A glorious summer it is!

[[...]]

Gardie- I agree with everything you wrote. The impatience and loss of control. That it’s hard it hasn’t changed really. And we do have to keep up with our Coping techniques totally. You are so right!  I kinda slacked off towards the end of my taper. But time to get back into my self care routine. We can keep each other accountable! 

 

I also still have some chemical anxiety. It had gotten so much better that I thought it was gone but it is back somewhat post taper. Not sure if it’s just the normal wave stuff or if I’m exacerbating by feeling impatient or trying to do more than my mind and body can handle. I am absolutely still sensitive to stuff, not worse but still there. Overall I’m less sensitive than in the midst of my taper. I could not handle books like that right now... or ever maybe. I stick to non emotional stuff if I read.  The “Who is” series is good light interesting reading. Meant for kids so it’s light. But enough info to be interesting. Some are super inspirational too. With TV, I can do comedy sitcoms and that’s about it. No Movies. I stopped reading the news a long time ago. My husband is a news junkie so he fills me in on major headlines.

 

Sorry abt your daughter. That must be so hard. My girls are still young and moldable. . Ages 7 and 10. Yeah - I hate absorbing other ppl’s stress esp when I can’t just leave the home. I hope it goes away. Today, I researched some coping techniques for that so will try them.

 

How are others on here feeling post-taper?  Any words of wisdom to share with us recent jumpers?

[[ci...]]

Acceptance...that’s what we have to learn now.  Just take each day for what it is.  Some days are better and some days are worse.  Try not to expect anything.  We keep reading that healing is not linear, so don’t get upset when there are waves.  Just wait for the next window.

 

 

[[...]]

Thanks for that reminder circlestar!  You are so calm and composed and wise! 

 

Gardie - the "Who Is" is a series of biographies. There are tons of them- I get them at the library. I like to read them at bedtime. It's a distraction and inspiration and not-triggering.  I've really enjoyed most of them. "Who Is Harriett Tubman" is one of the most inspirational ones.  Let me know if you try them.  I agree about old TV shows - simpler times!  I can't even be in the same room if my kids are watching the newer cartoons - it's too triggering - they move and talk so fast in annoying voices and the colors are so bright. 

 

I haven't actually tried the coping techniques for other ppl's stress...I just looked into it so far, I looked on google but found a YouTube search to be more fruitful. It's an experiment I haven't begun yet.  ...Or I'm thinking to just say, "You seem stressed. Is there something I can do to help or to at least contain it so it doesn't spread to the rest of the family?"  Is that too mean???

As much as I hate it when I absorb his stress, I hate it even more when the kids absorb it (and rebel)...I get all mama bear, which just makes me even more stressed.

 

[[Go...]]

Hi everyone. I'll be down to zero in a few days. Feeling better today. Felt "good" yesterday too. Windows and waves now I guess. Everything's gonna be all right. So good to be done messing with a taper. It's nice to know everyone on this thread understands. I'll report in and let y'all know how it goes. Bye for now.

[[ci...]]

Welcome Goodchance!  So glad you came over here!  And good to hear you feel better today.

This is good place for us.

 

[[CM...]]

Is it possible to go thru an acute phase as u get low in your taper?

I’m down to 2.3mgV and my symptoms are so different today than ever

I’m really warm. Tons of crying spells. Feel like my mind Is  waking up big time. I feel emotions like crazy and even tho the fog is still there, I feel clarity at the same time.

 

I’m really scared. Maybe it’s the mental part of this at the end. Thinking that you’re going to crash. Especially when u get new symptoms. I truly feel like this is the end phase. I’ve came off other meds before and this is what it felt like when I stopped them.

 

So, is it possible that this could be the end phase? Then it’ll get better? I’m really in my head didn’t now and scared and would appreciate some help. Thanks.

Modify message

 

[[Go...]]

gardener99  Clonazapam. Sorry, I must have deleted that from my sig. I've put it back. Thanks

[[...]]

Wow goodchance- you’re so close! Happy to have you here!

 

I’m feeling an uptick in sxs. Day 12 today. Kinda freaking me out but I plan to dial back activity and dive back into self-care. So ready to be healed!

There is increased expectations from my family now that I’m off... or maybe I’m projecting and it’s really increased expectations from myself.

[[ci...]]

Gardie— you’re so right about the waves and windows.  It’s hard to fathom.  I wish we knew more about why this happens. 

 

Libr— Sorry things are ramping up a bit.  Try not to overdo it.  We still have a long road ahead.

[[...]]

2 weeks off - Definitely in a bad wave, not just a slight uptick. I thought the slow DMT would save me from acute...but no such luck.  I had felt so much better the last few months of my taper.  Now my worst sxs have come back...sxs I didn't have for maybe 6-12 mo...my original sxs actually!  I guess it is the body figuring out how to function at zero? 

I don't want to be a downer on this thread, but if anyone knows if this is common, would love your insight and info and support. Thank you.

[[Fi...]]

2 weeks off - Definitely in a bad wave, not just a slight uptick. I thought the slow DMT would save me from acute...but no such luck.  I had felt so much better the last few months of my taper.  Now my worst sxs have come back...sxs I didn't have for maybe 6-12 mo...my original sxs actually!  I guess it is the body figuring out how to function at zero? 

I don't want to be a downer on this thread, but if anyone knows if this is common, would love your insight and info and support. Thank you.

 

Hey Libr, same thing happened to me. I was hopeful I'd avoid acute tapering very slowly down, but I didn't. That's the bad news. The good news is that it lasted about 2-3 weeks and I have slowly felt better and better from there. I'm at about a month and a half off now. Keep going, it sucks but it's very worth it.

[[...]]

Thank you Fox for sharing your experience and for your support.  It's crazy.

How are you doing now at 1.5 mo?

[[ci...]]

Libr,

I think what you are experiencing is typical.  I had a difficult patch from about 3-6 weeks off.  Now it’s kind of up and down.  I can’t seem to correlate it with anything.  I do eat healthfully, but have not tried any extreme regimens.  I see some people try to eliminate carbs, and foods with histamine.  I don’t have any idea if that really works. 

 

Do you feel better in the afternoons/evenings?  I still have that pattern.

Last week I had a full day window for the first time!  But back to the usual pattern now.

 

I hope you have better days ahead. 

 

 

 

 

 

[[ci...]]

Hi Fighting Fox,

Glad to hear you’re doing well! 

[[ca...]]

From reading Libr post, I think we all go through this. I'm 9 weeks  out and feeling very fatigue, no energy, like I'm running on empty.

LIke  libr I felt better the last two months  during the taper than now.  Along with the  fatigue I get shaky, blurred vision, headaches out  of nowhere. I hope this  passes soon.

[[...]]

Me too, 5 wks off now. Acute the first 2 wks, then somewhat better for 2 wks, but was hit hard 5th week by multiple reactions to food containing msg or artificial sweeteners (sweetened bread, ice cream, burritos . Worst ever since. I had problems with these afditives before v, but my body is 10 times more srnsitized by v as the reaction is 100 times stronger than before.

 

When i was on valium, the sensitivity seemed less probably because the suppressing effects of v on glutamate etc. That I was able to eat cookie and ice cream. The extreme sensitivity is highest now probably indicating clean up of all valium in my body.