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How are people around 2 years off doing??


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I’m now 23 months off and while I’m seeing some improvements, I’m not even close to where I want to be or expected to be by this stage. There was a time earlier on when I was more or less bed bound and struggled to walk a few steps, I’m much better than that, but I’m still horribly fatigued, I have blaring tinnitus, mental issues like anxiety and depression are a real issue. I have windows but they don’t last as long as I would like. I desperately miss my old life. Just curious how others are/were fairing at this timeline.
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I'm also having a bit of a struggle at around 24 months out. I do have windows, but I spend much of my time with mental anxiety, intrusive thoughts, irrational fear etc. This journey has taken far longer than I ever expected. Hopeful about getting back to the person I was before all of this mess and the psych meds. My problems were so trivial then compared to now.
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I'm 21 months off, definitely improving but very slowly, still suffer with quite a few symptoms - head symptoms,(buzzing, fizzing, pressure,pain) dizziness, tinnitus, nerve pain, fatigue, brain fog.  I went into this thinking recovery would be 2 years max, that is clearly not the case for many of us.
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Hi, I am 2.5 years off and have been feeling normal-ish for a while now. But sleep is still an issue. I still sleep less than pre-Benzo and it continues to be fragile and very vulnerable to stress.
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Hi Sunshine and Fellow Warriors,

 

Yes, this takes much longer than we would have hoped. Hold on to those windows, as elusive as they are, they are a clear indication that you are healing. Look at improvement, any improvement, as tiny or insignificant as it may seem - it is all but that. Give those signs power over your waves and despair, find strength in them!

 

I'm still doing very poorly at 23.5 months out, mostly struggling with mental stuff. Mental akathisia/restlessness and emotional numbing. I am nothing like the person I was before drugs, but that was such a long time ago that this person has most likely disappeared, and the person who will emerge after this ordeal will be very much changed from a 15-year fight with demons of all kinds, on drugs, during a 2.5-year taper, and 23.5-month post-withdrawal. Let's hang in there Buddies. What we are fighting for right now is the most probably the most meaningful battle of our lives. At some point, the discomfort will ease enough for withdrawal to just be an ongoing process running in the background while we go about our daily lives. Or perhaps it will just disappear one fine morning, letting us feel 'normal'... finally...

 

Just keep going. 2 years is serious healing time!!!

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Hey guys I am 2 years off almost 25 months and I have had some of my worst waves in months over the last few weeks but the healing they have brought has been HUGE! The good days I have now I would have killed for even three months ago, I remember I had a New Year’s Eve trip planned I had to cancel because I truly felt so awful and then three weeks later my husband said “if the trip was this weekend you’d be fine to go” and that was true, those three weeks I saw tangible differences.

 

I am still limited on my very bad days and I still can’t really feel happiness or joy but I know those things will come. These bad waves these past few weeks I’m believing are a good sign because they didn’t come from pushing myself, I actually have been resting more than ever so obviously it’s my body correcting itself and trying to reach homeostasis again. I am embracing the waves as much as possible(easier to say when I’m in a window today) but healing is real and I’m believing that.

 

A lot of people on this board can be SO negative and that is hard so I am choosing to trust the survivors who came before me and believe healing is real and I’ll get there and so will you. Hoping by three years I will be back to my old self or close.

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I agree with all the buddies that this takes way longer than I originally thought. I really believed I’d be done by 18 months, but then 18 months came and went. I’ve read quite a few success stories between 2nd and 3rd year and am quietly optimistic but maybe I’ll just be disappointed again. 2 years of not being myself and not being able to live my life the way I used to is hard. I still get acute like waves from time to time, I just think my baseline is getting better. I just want to heal.
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I’m pretty much exactly where you are Sunshine. Things have dramatically changed in the last few months for me. I’m getting good windows where my symptoms get way less intense or go completely for a bit. But also brutal acute waves. The waves are coming closer together. The windows get better every time but don’t last. Things are cycling very fast now. It’s a wild rollercoaster ride day by day. I’ve heard from a few healed people that this dramatic up/down and acute waves came for them right before they healed. Fingers crossed!
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I’m pretty much exactly where you are Sunshine. Things have dramatically changed in the last few months for me. I’m getting good windows where my symptoms get way less intense or go completely for a bit. But also brutal acute waves. The waves are coming closer together. The windows get better every time but don’t last. Things are cycling very fast now. It’s a wild rollercoaster ride day by day. I’ve heard from a few healed people that this dramatic up/down and acute waves came for them right before they healed. Fingers crossed!

 

This is what I experience for the fifth month in the row now. Windows steadily improve, very close to normal. Waves OMG, terrible but the positive note, they don’t last hours or days. More 15-30 minutes.

 

I hope you are right. I am heading month 27 in 2 weeks. Around 2 years, it was even worser than now.

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Around 2 years I was starting to get good windows, but still had bad waves. At 30+ months it's been a lot better, although I just had a nasty wave for about a week. Generally though it seems that around 30 is when things start to lift for a lot of people.
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Last month I went through a really bad wave but when I came out of it, I now have lighter internal tremors. They are not constant anymore either. This month I have had more good days than bad so I am hopeful that I have turned a corner. Other than tremors I have no other symptoms. So, 90% healed I would say.
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I am 25 months.  From 18 months on has been one long wave more brutal than the first year and a half.  No windows to speak of.  I think as we cognitively advance and spend more time in the community the truth reveals itself.  My heart goes out to us all......especially the newbees.
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I’m now 23 months off and while I’m seeing some improvements, I’m not even close to where I want to be or expected to be by this stage. There was a time earlier on when I was more or less bed bound and struggled to walk a few steps, I’m much better than that, but I’m still horribly fatigued, I have blaring tinnitus, mental issues like anxiety and depression are a real issue. I have windows but they don’t last as long as I would like. I desperately miss my old life. Just curious how others are/were fairing at this timeline.

 

Thanks for starting this thread, Sunshine. This stage of healing has been challenging in its own way for me as well. I'm less than a month away from my 2 years off anniversary and feel about 90% healed. Nearly all of my physical symptoms have disappeared, but the mental ones are still plaguing me. I'm doing leaps and bounds better than I was, but still missing that last piece of the puzzle. I'm so curious about what my new baseline will be, but know it's too soon to figure out. Therapy has been really great this time around; I'm in the process of finding a new one after feeling I got all I could out of my last one. I'm glad to see a lot of us around the same spot here.  :)

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Do statistics exists on people who are suffering 2 plus years. I'm struggling with what feels like a wave but even I am having trouble believing this could be possible. All I can do is video tape myself and refer to it later when 'm feeling better. It scares the hell out of me every time this happens. It's so weird how my brain insists I'm dying and then recovers with glimpses of hope. I can't wait to get back there. I mean the way I was. Does anyone feel like your running out of time and have to remember any little thing because of the previous memory loss?
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Do statistics exists on people who are suffering 2 plus years. I'm struggling with what feels like a wave but even I am having trouble believing this could be possible. All I can do is video tape myself and refer to it later when 'm feeling better. It scares the hell out of me every time this happens. It's so weird how my brain insists I'm dying and then recovers with glimpses of hope. I can't wait to get back there. I mean the way I was. Does anyone feel like your running out of time and have to remember any little thing because of the previous memory loss?

 

I very much relate to this and could have written it myself.

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  • 1 year later...
I'm 18 months off, lost all hope of ever recovering at the moment. Severe mental symptoms with OCD, got the stage don't want to wake up in the morning. Nothing seems to help the zopiclone and anti depressants truly ruined my life. Most people seem have symptoms come and go by this stage mine just constantly awful.
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I'm 22 months off now, and can agree with most of things said here.  I thought it would feel better by now, but my windows are amazing.  My waves are not as painful, but they do persist and keep coming and going.  I find most symptoms are more manageable, and are less painful, but still very annoying and make it hard to live a normal life of a non-sick person.
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28 months and I’m still suffering. I have insomnia, fatigue, tinnitus, empty feeling. I don’t feel like myself for sure, but I’m a lot better than I was 28 months ago. I don’t have that much anxiety or depression. Mostly exhaustion from just dealing with wd. Shock that it’s still happening. Anger that it’s still happening. I’ve had a few windows, and that’s what keeps me going.
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Nearly 39 months out here. I no longer suffer from any physical symptoms aside from fatigue here and there. Otherwise my withdrawal is pretty much all mental. The waves that hit are as intense as the first year, but I've had some great windows too. There are a bunch of us that all jumped around the same time and almost all of us are still in it.
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Wow I just stumbled upon my post from over a year ago. I am doing so much better now. I work 4 days a week, I’m exercising again, I feel much better over all. Honestly some intense healing happened for me between 30-36 months. I get a bit of fatigue here and there, but I’m much more functional and feel good about the future. Healing is real!!
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That's really really awesome for you and I'm sure it's encouraging for people stuck in withdrawals at more than a year out. I'm glad you're able to look forward without this hanging over you. That's where I want to be and I know I'll get there, just need reminding sometimes.
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