18 - 24 months and wavy.... aka "Who moved my finish line?"

[[pu...]]

hi everyone, it appears that i am in a wave at 25 months. ears buzzing, unbareable sinus pain, super sensitive to everything, can't get out of bed. yesterday i was supposed to go to my newphews birthday party but turned around half way there and went home. felt faint and was having muscle spasms, the humidity was killing me. does anyone else's sinus's really bother them? i also have the worst digestion.

 

i'm going to go for a bike ride in a little bit here. can't continue to lay around in pain.

 

 

however i wonder... if i haven't healed in 25 months and i feel this awful, is it safe to say i won't be healed for a long long time, at least another year or two? i can't imagine being healed anytime soon. earlier in withdrawal i kept anticipating that i would be healed in a couple months.

 

but i must admit i absolutely do not see a light at the end of the tunnel anymore. i actually can no longer even imagine healing. i do wonder if, for certain individuals, with preecisting issues, if they are damaged for life.

 

 

 

[[mo...]]

Hi, just want to make sure I get notifications for posts... working on month 25.

[[NY...]]

Hang in there you guys.  I'm still getting hit with intense waves as well, but overall MUCH improved, and feel better than ever in windows.  The best I've ever felt.  Healing is happening during these symptomatic times.  Unfortunately this is just what benzo recovery feels like for many of us  :'(

 

This success story is recent, submitted by someone who was wavy until the end. 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=208724.0

 

WR

 

[[br...]]

 

It is sadly quite common for many of us to experience intense waves as we get to the final stage of healing. The old bugger symptoms get worse ,and new symptoms may appear. Baylissa writes about this in her encouraging book ' Recovery and Renewal ' . Around the two year mark she went through several long and challenging waves. Just a few months later the waves and symptoms were gone and she embraced her final healing. 

 

I'm not in a very good place right now. The wave which started three weeks ago rages on . I'm averaging three hours of sleep each night and the nightly muscle and nerve pain is intense . Through all of this I have a sense that I'm getting to the end of my journey , and that the symptoms are just the product of the final tweaking before the blissful state of peace and normality.

 

Tired as we are of all the crap we can reach down deep and find the courage to hold on until the magical day of recovery. 

[[NY...]]

Thanks for passing on Balyssa's story, Rabbit.  Encouraging to be reminded of that.  I too feel the end is near, despite the tough waves, new symptoms, etc.

 

Sorry to hear you've been plagued with insomnia.  I've had a few weeks of sleeping issues,  and poor sleep sure makes everything more difficult to cope with.  Hoping it lifts for you soon.

 

WR

[[pu...]]

 

 

This success story is recent, submitted by someone who was wavy until the end. 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=208724.0

 

WR

 

thanks for positing this. i think 3 (years) is going to be the lucky number.

 

i'm just going to continue living as healthy as i can learning new things and trying to be the most positive i can.

 

 

we will heal. 

[[...]]

Hi Everybody! 

 

I am still early for this group, only 15 months out but I like the atmosphere here, and recognize a few friendly faces 

I will stay quiet for now, wishing you all windows and baseline improvement. May Fall 2018 bring many good things to all of us!

Hugs 

Julia xx

[[br...]]

 

Welcome Julia . Glad to have you on board, although I hope for your sake you are not with us for long .

 

Last night I had the best night's sleep since I don't remember when . Today my head is clear and I did the daily crossword in my pre-benzo time of ten minutes. What a relief to feel normal !!!!. I hope it lasts forever, but even if it does not it gives proof to the fact that we do heal eventually and the good days as well as the horrendously bad days are all part of the healing. 

[[Gr...]]

I had a really bad episode of heart racing right after hitting 18 months, I went nearly two nights with no sleep. My dr took me off my thyroid meds since he thought they may be overstimulating me. But my bloodwork taken that day showed I was in normal range. I stayed off the thyroid med three weeks and then had another heart racing episode. Retested my thyroid and everything was straight down the middle normal. I know there's nothing wrong with my heart since I already saw a cardiologist earlier this year and they said I was fine. So I'm assuming these are anxiety attacks since they tend to start at bedtime. I'm apprehensive about going to sleep now. The heart racing thing is a new symptom for me, it's baffling why it showed up after 18 months off. On the other hand, my thyroid is now back to normal and I'm completely off meds for it after over two years.

[[A1...]]

HI all.....starting this thread up again and hoping that there are some positive stories out there of healing between 18-24months....................

[[...]]

I recognize a bunch of friends here 👍🎉👋. Just wanted to join this thread with all of you almost 21 months, physical stuff has improved, mental and emotional stuff is still up and down (mostly down). Just keep checking off the days.

[[...]]

Hello Friends! 👋

 

I'm still here as well. My finish-line have been moved, at 20.5 months out, I've yet to see any true sign of healing. No window so far. Come on, something ought to give before the 24-month mark, surely??!

 

Hey, T1D, LiveAboveIt and other Buddies struggling with mental distortions, intrusive OCD looping unwanted thoughts and all that kind of crap, here's what Baylissa has to say:

https://baylissa.com/thoughts/

 

To all fellow warriors still struggling, I am sending healing hugs your way. I know the hell. We will all emerge from this so darn stronger. How else could it be? This is temporary. And we are in this together.

 

Wishing you much signs of healing and success stories over the next few months!

 

Julz

[[Ke...]]

Hey gang!  I'm now on month 23 and I can tell things are happening for the better, however it seems this week my symptoms have totally changed places.  For a month or so, my physical symptoms were much better while my mental symptoms were pretty bad.  No jelly legs, fatigue or many symptoms left except for mental symptoms were still pretty strong but I would just push myself through.  Now my symptoms have totally switched places.  My mental symptoms have lessened a little bit and my jelly legs and extreme fatigue are back.  I had trouble doing anything physical for the past few days and my sleep is bad again.  Has this happened to anyone else where your physical and mental symptoms seem to switch places?  I feel Im about 40-50% healed but not sure what to think about what's going on. I'll continue to pray for myself and everyone here, exercise and distract as much as possible.  Hope everyone is doing better. 

[[...]]

Hey gang!  I'm now on month 23 and I can tell things are happening for the better, however it seems this week my symptoms have totally changed places.  For a month or so, my physical symptoms were much better while my mental symptoms were pretty bad.  No jelly legs, fatigue or many symptoms left except for mental symptoms were still pretty strong but I would just push myself through.  Now my symptoms have totally switched places.  My mental symptoms have lessened a little bit and my jelly legs and extreme fatigue are back.  I had trouble doing anything physical for the past few days and my sleep is bad again.  Has this happened to anyone else where your physical and mental symptoms seem to switch places?  I feel Im about 40-50% healed but not sure what to think about what's going on. I'll continue to pray for myself and everyone here, exercise and distract as much as possible.  Hope everyone is doing better.

 

All my physical stuff came back on April 9th.  Awful fatigue, muscle pain, exercise intolerance, Head pressure etc... I just began working out again last week.  But yea, it's happening to me too... coming up on 24  months in a week, It's all pretty hard to swallow. 

[[...]]

Hey gang!  I'm now on month 23 and I can tell things are happening for the better, however it seems this week my symptoms have totally changed places.  For a month or so, my physical symptoms were much better while my mental symptoms were pretty bad.  No jelly legs, fatigue or many symptoms left except for mental symptoms were still pretty strong but I would just push myself through.  Now my symptoms have totally switched places.  My mental symptoms have lessened a little bit and my jelly legs and extreme fatigue are back.  I had trouble doing anything physical for the past few days and my sleep is bad again.  Has this happened to anyone else where your physical and mental symptoms seem to switch places?  I feel Im about 40-50% healed but not sure what to think about what's going on. I'll continue to pray for myself and everyone here, exercise and distract as much as possible.  Hope everyone is doing better.

 

Although I can't speak of the mental -physical switch over in symptoms it's good to hear that you are noticing improvements for the better. Knocking on the door of 20 mths and the fear/anxiety/agorophobia are brutalising me still. Hoping that the physical stuff doesn't hang around too long and you can continue to push on to that finishing line.

[[Ke...]]

I'm still stuck with the fear/anxiety/agoraphobia as well, just not as severe as before.  Just hang in there PSVT, I think things will turn for you at anytime now.