Here Comes The Pain Again

[[de...]]

I so want to be positive and give good vibes but just can't this morning.  Tomorrow might  be better as have determined today that I will clean the house and do the washing.  I just look at it all, and can't be bothered.  Still, I'm doing it, but when vacuuming the couch thought how ridiculously pointless it all was, and gee I'd like an adventure. 

 

My anxiety is peaking, never had it like this before and with such negative thinking.  Tremor and tears with the GI coming and going, back pain.  Everything just comes and goes it.  It such a cruel thing in that it teases you with the hope of repair only to get kicked again with another symptom.  Sometimes just sit and stare.  Scared. 

 

I'm trying to distract and it does help, with mushrooms on the stove which I will have for late breakfast. 

 

I made a plan to start tapering in 4 days but still don't feel stable after c/t and reinstatement a month ago.  I have a feeling that I might never stabilise in tolerance.  IT IS INTOLERABLE, so will start as planned and see how I go. 

 

Sending my love to you all and I am trying to act positively but so hard.  Will have my breakfast mushrooms and continue with house cleaning.  An an adventure would be good.  A waterfall, the surf, a mountain, flowers, growth....

 

Dee x

[[Fi...]]

I so want to be positive and give good vibes but just can't this morning.  Tomorrow might  be better as have determined today that I will clean the house and do the washing.  I just look at it all, and can't be bothered.  Still, I'm doing it, but when vacuuming the couch thought how ridiculously pointless it all was, and gee I'd like an adventure. 

 

My anxiety is peaking, never had it like this before and with such negative thinking.  Tremor and tears with the GI coming and going, back pain.  Everything just comes and goes it.  It such a cruel thing in that it teases you with the hope of repair only to get kicked again with another symptom.  Sometimes just sit and stare.  Scared. 

 

I'm trying to distract and it does help, with mushrooms on the stove which I will have for late breakfast. 

 

I made a plan to start tapering in 4 days but still don't feel stable after c/t and reinstatement a month ago.  I have a feeling that I might never stabilise in tolerance.  IT IS INTOLERABLE, so will start as planned and see how I go. 

 

Sending my love to you all and I am trying to act positively but so hard.  Will have my breakfast mushrooms and continue with house cleaning.  An an adventure would be good.  A waterfall, the surf, a mountain, flowers, growth....

 

Dee x

 

Dee,    Positivity, lots of hugs and encouragement are being sent your way.   

I’ve had my share of tears today!  Releasing some cortisol!!!

F4

[[cl...]]

to All

[[Fi...]]

Bad Bad  Bad burning and in pain in brain.  Feeling confused and disoriented. 

[[de...]]

I'm so sorry F4M. 

 

It will pass, it must.  We've got to believe. 

 

I awoke (for want of a better word) in complete fear and confusion.  My brain is in my feet.  This is wrong, and I want it to go away.  But what will I find?  I've been numbed out for so long am afraid of waking up.  I want to feel again. 

 

Solidarity in the process. 

 

Hi clay  hi Dude 

 

At least the mania has abated.  Man, I was at risk if running outside naked.  Small mercies.

 

Dee x 

 

 

 

 

[[Fi...]]

I'm so sorry F4M. 

 

It will pass, it must.  We've got to believe. 

 

I awoke (for want of a better word) in complete fear and confusion.  My brain is in my feet.  This is wrong, and I want it to go away.  But what will I find?  I've been numbed out for so long am afraid of waking up.  I want to feel again. 

 

Solidarity in the process. 

 

Hi clay  hi Dude 

 

At least the mania has abated.  Man, I was at risk if running outside naked.  Small mercies.

 

Dee x

 

Dee, thinking of you   Hoping all is well.  Glad the mania has abated.  Yes, wouldn’t want you running outside naked!!! 

 

Still struggling with the pain.  Going to try a Tens unit see if that helps.

 

Hi Clay  Hi Dude

 

F4M

[[Fi...]]

Does anyone know if Gabapentine keeps you from healing?

[[Fi...]]

I opted not to try the Gabapentine.  I had a pain doctor appointment on this past Thursday.

 

They told me I had ALL of the following......WTW?

Fibromyalgia

Neuropathy

Trigemial Neuralgia

Occipital Neuralgia

Centralized Pain Syndrome

 

I was told they had never seen someone in so much pain.  I didn’t know that was even possible.

All this from a Benzo?    This is not made up.  This is not an exaggeration.  I was leaning on my friend who drove me the whole time.  They told me there was nothing they could do for me.  This doesn’t make any sense.  This level of pain is unheard of.  So scared.  So Very Very Scared.

 

F4M

 

[[cl...]]

I'm sooo sooo very sorry F4M. I wish I could do something 

 

All my love.

 

Sum

[[de...]]

I'm sorry too F4M this stuff is ruthless. 

 

Surely something for the pain?  Did you take up on the medical marijuana idea?  I would, but still difficult to have prescribed here without jumping through a thousand hoops, and I'm lucky to write a shopping list. 

 

Not well myself today.  Got a tiny break yesterday and actually cleaned the flat.  Thought I was home and hosed but only wishful thinking, cruel. 

 

Woke this morning nausea, no appetite, sweating, DR, GI, no motivation, blank!  It's horrible and perhaps connected with all the work I did yesterday.  It was good while it lasted.

 

Dee

[[cl...]]

Dee, That's amazing!  I hope you feel better tomorrow...

 

F4M- thinking of you.

[[de...]]

I think I woke the sleeping dog, summer I didn't just clean, I totally reorganised and I'm paying for it today....

 

I've got to put it down that, and that there is hope, otherwise I'd go mad.  It will pass surely. 

 

Dee x

 

 

[[Fi...]]

Clay, Dee Thank You!!!!  :smitten:  You would think there would be something for pain.  ANYTHING!!!  I can’t lay flat because it makes my head hurt so bad during the night.  Hurt’s sooo bad.  When all I want to do is lay down.  I just don’t get it.  I didn’t know it was possible to be in soooo much pain. Praying there is something I can try for relief.  I take care of my two elderly parents daily in between all this pain, kids, and Benzo Recovery-I can’t!!!  I’m so overwhelmed, and..... anyway.

 

Dee,  You are coping well riding the Benzo roller coaster!!!!  The “Flat”.  Where are you from?  Doesn’t sound like a US term.  Stay Strong and Thank You for being such a supportive and kind person.  

 

Clay, my friend.  How are you doing?  Hope things are going well.  Stay Strong   

 

Have a good night.

Fight

 

 

[[de...]]

I'm riding the roller coaster F4M but am really not travelling all that well at the moment.  Maybe a result of exertion yesterday?  Just feel so ill. 

 

I'm sorry you are suffering too and hope you get some relief, or that the pain eventually withdraws spontaneously. 

 

I'm from Australia F4M, and a flat is an apartment.  At least today it's clean.  .

 

Dee x

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[Mi...]]

I opted not to try the Gabapentine.  I had a pain doctor appointment on this past Thursday.

 

They told me I had ALL of the following......WTW?

Fibromyalgia

Neuropathy

Trigemial Neuralgia

Occipital Neuralgia

Centralized Pain Syndrome

 

I was told they had never seen someone in so much pain.  I didn’t know that was even possible.

All this from a Benzo?    This is not made up.  This is not an exaggeration.  I was leaning on my friend who drove me the whole time.  They told me there was nothing they could do for me.  This doesn’t make any sense.  This level of pain is unheard of.  So scared.  So Very Very Scared.

 

F4M

 

This sounds horrible. Why couldn't they help you? I'm sorry you're going through this. Maybe another Dr could help. It's frustrating finding drs that will help. I hope you find relief.

[[cl...]]

I am alive. I am very concerned for you, F4M. I will be thinking of you!

 

Dee, you'll bounce back! Be proud...

 

Hugs to ALL!!!

[[Fi...]]

Anything I’ve tried for pain works for about a day after that it stops.  My sensory nerves are severely damaged.  It’s hopeless.  The pain continues to escalate in my head and neck.   

 

Thanks Clay, Sum, Sicory

[[de...]]

I've seen a number of people talk about excruciating pain, writhing in bed, F4M.  I don't know about everyone, but many say it passes with time.  Please! 

 

My back still hurts, and yesterday had shooting pains up my neck which is novel.  Thought I was going to have a stroke.  Aarrgghh! 

 

I'm trying to consider it as levels of pain in each of us all, all related to WD, and it looks like you got a bad dose.  Someone else got a bad dose of something else, etc., and hopefully, like others, it will rectify with time.  Didn't Albert Einstein challenge the notion of time?  If I don't laugh I'll cry. 

 

This is my prayer F4M. 

 

Dee x

[[Fi...]]

I've seen a number of people talk about excruciating pain, writhing in bed, F4M.  I don't know about everyone, but many say it passes with time.  Please! 

 

My back still hurts, and yesterday had shooting pains up my neck which is novel.  Thought I was going to have a stroke.  Aarrgghh! 

 

I'm trying to consider it as levels of pain in each of us all, all related to WD, and it looks like you got a bad dose.  Someone else got a bad dose of something else, etc., and hopefully, like others, it will rectify with time.  Didn't Albert Einstein challenge the notion of time?  If I don't laugh I'll cry. 

 

This is my prayer F4M. 

 

Dee x

 

Dee,

 

I PRAY it passes.    It’s a lot to endure on a daily basis.  If anyone is spending their days in excruciating pain, I want you to know you are not alone.  I hope there is relief soon.  It takes a lot of courage and perseverance to keep fighting.

 

We ALL deserve RELIEF!!!    I’m too emotional to finish my reply.....

 

Feel Better,

Dee

[[de...]]

F4M

[[Ma...]]

Fighting4me...... I have no idea if this has anything to do with your head pain, but I read your whole post and the one thing I didn't see anyone mention is migraines.  I've had them for 22 years and w/d's makes them worse sometimes.  I am not suggesting u take them, but u may discuss with your Dr.  Sumatriptan may help.  A lot of times, the Sumatriptan will get  rid of them in a few hours.  Sometimes not, but definitely enough to make them worthwhile for me to take.  I am like u, the pain in your head is the worst pain :'(I am sending you healing thoughts "....

 

 

 

[[Fi...]]

Fighting4me...... I have no idea if this has anything to do with your head pain, but I read your whole post and the one thing I didn't see anyone mention is migraines.  I've had them for 22 years and w/d's makes them worse sometimes.  I am not suggesting u take them, but u may discuss with your Dr.  Sumatriptan may help.  A lot of times, the Sumatriptan will get  rid of them in a few hours.  Sometimes not, but definitely enough to make them worthwhile for me to take.  I am like u, the pain in your head is the worst pain :'(I am sending you healing thoughts "....

[/quot.

 

Mary, thank you for that suggestion I will ask my Dr. about it.  Benzo WD makes things 1000 times worse that’s for sure.  I never had migraines, something I need to look into.  After that list of nerve related pain issues I seem to have.  I’m willing to try ANYTHING for relief.  Hope you are doing well and wish you speedy healing.

 

F4M

[[Fi...]]

DDee, Clay thinking of you.  Hope you are having some relief.   F4M

[[cl...]]

Another day in hell. Thinking about you two too!!!

 

F4M- have you tried any 'alternative medicine'? The pains me that you get no relief. I hope hope hope in time it subsides. Dr's aren't always right about your potential. 

 

Dee- have you rebounded at all from the flat reorginization? I hope at lest it brings you comfort that things are tidy.

 

This experience is just horrid. I'm glad I have bb's to keep me semi sane.

 

LOVE TO ALL!

 

-clay

 

[[de...]]

Oh F4M and summer I so hate this and have turned into a comatose couch potato with sweats and tingles, GI, tender breasts and grinding jaw. Tomorrow it will be something different. Another day in hell, summer.  Can't think straight, scared, embarrassed.

 

I've been trying to read some positive stuff which assures me (us) I'll heal. 

 

Thinking of you both 

 

Keep the faith.

 

Dee xxx