Do you feel better or worse during the holiday season?

[[am...]]

Sorry Vertigo, I have to disagree with you. 

 

When the government of a country, voted in by the public, actively encourages and protects racism, then we can't say that it is a very small minority.

 

You are correct in that there are racists and extremists in every country, however in England to use your example, you will find people on the streets protesting against the racism, similarly you will find the authorities using hate laws to arrest racists,  those things do not exist in Japan.

 

I won't bore everyone with the facts and history of racism here in japan nor the special treatment it gets from the international community, suffice to say the current sulking of this nation is driving it faster and faster into edo II and we all know what that means for non yamato.

 

 

As for feeling home sick, well yes, I guess I am, I came here with the plan to make it my home, nearly a decade later and I am still as unwanted here as the Dutch in 1635, here I am and will always be nothing more than a footnote on my wife's family register. 

 

A decade of my life to still be a footnote.  Meh.  I'm done with it.

 

[Guest [ke...]]

I don't know why, but I have always found Christmas comes with a loomy feeling.

I like New Year's, I'm about the same really, so it doesn't effect me much.

Here in NY, we have this recipe for Thanksgiving, it's a dressing, but not everyone has heard of it.

It consists of Cornbread lol, yes Cornbread in NY, Celery, Chicken Broth, Onions, Boiled eggs, Sage and other stuff..

It's actually good, Thanksgiving is ok.

Halloween is ok..

I really don't get together with my family as I use too, as we all live apart and in different states and countries.

 

K.

[[pa...]]

Hi V!

Hope all is going well with your relatives in SoCal!

We're having snow here in WA... I don't suppose LA is getting any?!

Well, I had a nice b-day last weekend and for a treat the snow came in Sun. This Thurs, we have invited our choir director over to our house to celebrate with us. She has never been married and doesn't have any children. Also, when she moved out here some years ago, she came with her Mom but unfortunatley, her Mom passed away and so she has been rather lonely living by herself and relies on parishoners to invite her to their houses on holidays. So, we decided to due a good deed and invite her to ours.

Today, I found out that there are some leaks under our roof! What a time for this to happen. We have a thousand dollar deductable on our home owners insurance, so it looks like we won't get stuck with a huge bill! Still though, this new misfortune is causing a rise in my symptoms and anxiety. I have been listening to guided imagery for stress CDS and they do seem to help.

The last few months, my nerves and moods have been rather raw and I'm still hoping to turn a corner on that. I'm hoping that with all the celebrations coming up and things to do will help to help my outlook on life to become more joyful.

Again, hope things are going well for you. I'll try to check back on the forum throughout the week.

Take care all!

[[lo...]]

Vertigo -

 

Thanks for the info. on that book .... I am a "dabbling" Buddhist anyway, so

the mindfulness idea in relation to anxiety is a familiar path for me. I will

pick it up.  I guess I was being naive in thinking that my anxiety was out

the door for good ... I have heard others say that the very end of their

taper brought some symptoms to a head.....So I won't be surprised if

it cycles back for me.....I feel anxious these days on & off but I am

learning to just accept it---it's part of who I am.....probably always will

be to some extent.  Again, thanks for your input....appreciate it.

[[ve...]]

Your're welcome Lovepema.  I'm a dabbler too.  I've read quite a bit on Buddhist psychology and meditation too.  Now I need to apply what I've read!  That workbook on anxiety and mindfulness by Forsyth and eifert is one of the ones that really helped me a lot.

 

One day til Thanksgiving .  Am here at my mother in law's house.  Went out last night to close friends of ours.  My wife's close friend has been known to take the occasional xanax.  The subject did not come up though.  I think she knows of my valium taper. Anyhow, I had 1 1/2 glasses of wine with dinner.  Seems like the only impact was I craved some sweets about two hours later but I did not have any dessert or chocolate and to my surprise, no GERD or heartburn consequences so far .  I am still planning to taper the prilosec in a few weeks.  Will try not to overeat on Thursday's Thanksgiving and then later at the football game.

 

Best,

 

Vertigo (no more)

[[ve...]]

Happy Thanksgiving to all.  May everyone get along with their families today

Vertigo (no more)

[[pa...]]

Happy Thanksgiving from Pangelingua!

Hopefully, my Kids will stop fighting and learn to get along with each other!

[[mt...]]

So far things are off to a great start... got a call from my grandkids and called my mom and gave her my love and gratitude.  I cooked a big breakfast of homemade hashbrowns and omlettes for my son and DIL.  Took all the dogs for a walk in the field and threw the ball...which they love.  Next off to DIL's parents for dinner and back home for a family hot tub! Should be wonderful in our 20 degree weather!  No  fighting or stress.  I feel very happy and at peace.

 

The great thing about all the family dysfunction is that I have thrown in the towel on my BIG family gatherings.  Normally I would have been cooking and decorating for 2 days-and arrived at my table exhausted and overwhelmed!   Today I feel rested and excited to eat dinner without having to do so much.  I can actually take some time to reflect on the wonderful gifts of my life...

 

So ...Thanks to all of my benzobuddies that have held me in their hearts and minds over the past year.

 

For me it has meant more than I can ever express!

Love to all

mimi

[[ve...]]

Glad to hear you have had a nice Thanksgiving Mimi.  Sounds like you have made some healthy changes in terms of your expectations about your role in the family and larger gatherings.   It's nice that you are able to focus on gratitude at this time of year.  I am also going to get that book that was recommended by another member called "Living life as a Thank You".  I know you had hoped you would be finished with your taper by now Mimi, but you're getting very close and may be done by New Years.  Great thing to look forward to .

 

Thanksgiving here in Texas went well.  We had brunch at a restaurant with my wife's aunt, uncle and cousins. Food was decent and I managed to not overeat and skipped the stuffing,  only two bites of pumpkin pie, despite a full array of desserts available.   Then it was on to the Texas football game where it was 35 degrees and windy , but it was a closer game than expected and it was fun to see.  100,000 fans is quite a spectacle!  It's been almost two weeks since I left town and am looking forward to returning home this tomorrow.  I have not weighed myself and will be curious to see if I gained a couple pounds.

 

Hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving.

 

 

Vertigo (no more)

[[ve...]]

Arrived home last night after two weeks of travel and family functions.  Tried not to overdo the sugar or alcohol since I've been dieting for a few months now.  Had 3 glasses of wine over the two weeks, two slices of cake, 1/3 pumpkin pie slice, some chocolate but overall kept to the diet plan.  Weighed myself for the first time in two weeks and actually lost another couple pounds since I left town .  We'll see how December goes.

 

There were challenges with various family members during the two weeks with my father and mother in law after that.  I'm pleased to report that coping skills learned over the last year really helped to curb anxiety and manage stress better than in the past.  I highly recommend the Acceptance and Mindfulness Workbook for Anxiety by Forsyth and Eifert.  What a difference a year makes!

 

Hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving and visit with family and friends,

 

Verti

[[Je...]]

Being in the UK we don't have Thanksgiving, but I decided to make Christmas easier for myself whilst I taper that I would basically jus get organised,  I've done all my shopping on-line as I can't do crowded shops write now and I craft my own card.

 

I went to see my parents two weeks ago rather than over Christmas when nothing is open in the UK and they would drive me mad.

 

So this is my first holiday season where I don't feel that pre-Christmas anxiety which is forced on us by the media, I'm ready man..which is just as well as I feel awful today like I've got arthritis (and it's -4 outside)!

 

Luckily my partner is a great cook and whilst his support is rather distant at least I know he's got the food bit covered as we are spending it with his old Mum and two old Aunties (in their late 80's) and hopefully we will see his daughter who is 25! So I've been like this all last week  and can hopefully feel like this  over the season! Hugs to all who are finding it hard.

 

Vertigo I've just ordered the book you mentioned!

[[La...]]

I definitly feel worse during holiday seasons.

I need something to do, see other people, care for my patients...even have  a bit stress.

This being at home all the time anyway depresses me...isn`t that sick??

I hhave a happy marriage and good and loveley children, and it depresses me?

Sometimes i think, there is something wrong with me.

[[Je...]]

I definitly feel worse during holiday seasons.

I need something to do, see other people, care for my patients...even have  a bit stress.

This being at home all the time anyway depresses me...isn`t that sick??

I hhave a happy marriage and good and loveley children, and it depresses me?

Sometimes i think, there is something wrong with me.

 

Nothing wrong with you Lancy - you are on benzos and Christmas is stressful, especially with kids, you really have to behave like this   and so many (many not on benzos) feel like this  :'(

 

The days go on for ages at Christmas too - I need literal retail therapy!

[[ve...]]

Well, thought I'd check in and say cheers to all you holiday lovers.   Hanukkah is almost over and Xmas is coming up soon.  Hope everyone is looking forward to a Happy New Year .

 

I definitely have gone beyond my budget this year with a variety of gifts.  The economy needs a little help though and more "free" airmiles, eh?

 

Glad you've gotten organized this year Jessy.  It helps to plan ahead.  Hope you enjoy the book.  Let me know what you think.

 

Hang in there Lancy.  It is not unusual to feel some blues around this time of year, especially if still tapering and dealing with withdrawal.  Are you a nurse?  That is a noble caring profession.  I'm feeling pretty good these days. Looking forward to spending some time with my family.

 

Here's to more "retail therapy" .  That's a good one Jessy.

 

Happy Holidays!

 

Vertigo (no more)

[[La...]]

Well, thought I'd check in and say cheers to all you holiday lovers.   Hanukkah is almost over and Xmas is coming up soon.  Hope everyone is looking forward to a Happy New Year .

 

I definitely have gone beyond my budget this year with a variety of gifts.  The economy needs a little help though and more "free" airmiles, eh?

 

Glad you've gotten organized this year Jessy.  It helps to plan ahead.  Hope you enjoy the book.  Let me know what you think.

 

Hang in there Lancy.  It is not unusual to feel some blues around this time of year, especially if still tapering and dealing with withdrawal.  Are you a nurse?  That is a noble caring profession.  I'm feeling pretty good these days. Looking forward to spending some time with my family.

 

Here's to more "retail therapy" .  That's a good one Jessy.

 

Happy Holidays!

 

Vertigo (no more)

 

Thank`s, Vertigo

yes, i am a nurse, i am working in a longtime-care-unit for old and very sick people who cannot do anything at all anymore.

That`s why i love the knight in my avatar, sometimes it`s good to have a shield and a suit of armor.

[[pa...]]

Hi Lancy!

I can sympathize with your feelings. I had 2 Holiday seasons in a row that were nearly completely wrecked; one from complications of my Dad's death/estate/legal/personal family issues, and one from unknown issues with medication that turned out to be inter-dose withdrawal.

All of these around Christmas 2007 and 2008.

The best therapy I can offer for this kind of situation is positive distraction. You might start by making a list of all the things that you like about the Hoiliday season and then focusing on these. Currently, I have pains that are affecting both my legs post benzo. I have found that keeping myself busy with such things as: choir singing/practice, Holiday music (both at home and on the radio), taking the family out for drives to look at lights/Christmas parades/events, reading good books from the library, and cooking/planning Holiday foods provide positive distractions for me. We usually go to the library once a week and right now they have a good series of books on Christmas around the world. This week, I checked out Christmas in Ireland, Russia and Italy.

I have just given you examples of things that make me feel good during the holidays; your's may be different... I completely understand your feelings right now, especially while being on a benzo. My wish for you is lots of joy and peace this Holiday season!

 

[[ve...]]

Hey Pange.  I hope 2010 does not follow the pattern of 2007 and 2008 for ya .  Great advice about keeping oneself focused on joyful things, distractions as you put it.  You sure do know how to take care of yourself even when things get a little rough.  Your optimism is contagious, at least I hope it is because anyone out there who is suffering some blues at this holiday season could use some of your enthusiasm and great attitude . 

 

Merry Xmas to you and your family Pange, and to all the benzo buddies who celebrate Christmas at this season.

 

Vertigo (no more)

[[mt...]]

What got me through last Christmas when I was so sick and disabled was to remind myself that this was one Christmas in a lifetime of Christmases.  I also thought about how I was changing my life and health on a fundamental level...and that in a way is the best Christmas gift anyone can receive.  I also cried and let myself feel however I was feeling and somehow that made me feel better in the end.

 

May we all be blessed with peace and love this holiday season!

Mimi

[[ve...]]

What got me through last Christmas when I was so sick and disabled was to remind myself that this was one Christmas in a lifetime of Christmases.  I also thought about how I was changing my life and health on a fundamental level...and that in a way is the best Christmas gift anyone can receive.  I also cried and let myself feel however I was feeling and somehow that made me feel better in the end.May we all be blessed with peace and love this holiday season! Mimi

 

What a difference a year can make, eh?  I think your story, Mimi (and Pangelingua for that matter too)  will encourage many others as we approach Christmas and New Years.  Also,I think it is so helpful to hear you allowed yourself to feel what you felt with acceptance, Mimi.  No doubt others who are still tapering will benefit much from your wise words.

 

Peace and love,

 

Vertigo (no more)

[[La...]]

@[pa...]

 

Thank you so much for your understanding 

I try to hang on and stay busy. My daughter and my new australian  gonna-be-son in law come on saturday here, so i have to do enough to prepare our small apartment for an invasion of lots of people 

Meanwhile, i have to work also, and cook, and clean...but i think it will do good to me.

So i don`t have time to think about w/d or c/t.

 

[[ve...]]

Sometimes at the holidays, particularly the last two weeks of the year, with the weather getting cold and so many good sports on tv, I find myself becoming a bit antisocial.  This year I'm going to make a greater effort to initiate social gatherings even though I may not always feel like it that much.  Usually after making the extra effort, I feel glad that I did.

 

I know what you mean about cleaning, Lancy.  I want to invite some people over but it inevitably means cleaning before and after .  Guess it's just part of the process.

 

Verti

 

 

 

[[ve...]]

Christmas is tomorrow here in the USA.  It may be starting earlier for some benzobuddies in other parts of the world .  And some of you may not celebrate Christmas in a religious or secular way, for those I wish you a Happy New Year and many blessings in 2011.  

 

Many people find this time of year to be difficult, but can be more of a challenge being in the middle of a benzo taper or even having finished but still dealing with symptoms.  

 

Also, just managing the stress of travel at this time of year or it could be that certain family members we see at this time of year that we have not seen in a while, tend to push our buttons.  I think it can be a challenge and opportunity to try and be patient with others and ourselves.  

 

One of the issues that has come up for me is that I don't have any family living in our city and a lot of our close friends tend to go out of town this time of year so unless we travel to see friends and family, it's just the wife and my son "alone".  I realize that some who are single may have it even "worse" or feel more isolated.  I guess it's a matter of degree.  We tend to get a little cabin fever if we don't find some place to go over the two week winter break.  Last year we were in California visting family.  Glad we're not there this year with all the record rain!  Anyway, I wonder if others feel isolated or lonely at this time of year?  Sometimes if you're not feeling well, you can be in a room full of people and still feel lonely, not feel like socializing... Fortunately, that's not the case for me right now but I have experienced it.   Well, if anyone has anything to add before we head into 2011...?

 

Vertigo (no more)

[[le...]]

Hi Verti,

 

We don't have any family living in our city and we don't travel during the holidays. Sometimes we have had family come to visit or we have spent xmas with friends but for many years it was just my husband and our 2 boys. So the holidays often times have left us feeling a little isolated. Our sons are grown now, one lives 50 miles away with his new bride and the other 2400 miles away.Our youngest son and his wife will be here xmas eve but my husband and I will be alone on xmas day. I don't know if it's emotional blunting but I'm not as blue about being alone this year. I think if it isn't raining too hard we'll take a drive to a local wildlife refuge and hopefully we will see some bald eagles. And maybe later catch a movie. I've been wanting to see "The King's Speech".

 

I hope you have your family and a Merry Christmas.

 

Leslie

[[mt...]]

Hi Verti

I for one am enjoying the more quiet festivities this year.  I have had SO MANY holidays filled with people and parties and presents!  One of the benefits of my benzo taper has been a newfound sense of enjoying my own company.  Many mornings I have enjoyed just sitting on my old wicker sofa (wrapped in a blanket) on the front porch and sipping hot tea and just looking up into the sky and watching the birds roosting on the bare maple tree branches across the street.   I am loving the peace and my appreciation and gratitude for the simpler things in life.

 

I am trying to kiss and hug my husband more and generally be more loving and kind.  That was hard for me to do when I stressed out trying to get too much done.  I realize that for so many years I spent too much time and energy trying to "create" the picture of what I believed Christmas to be.   I now have a whole new experience of what is really important to me and how I want to celebrate the gifts of my life.  Hard learned lessons...

 

Leslie I love the idea of taking a drive to the animal sanctary and seeing the eagles-what a gift that would be.  I was thinking of taking a drive to the beach and letting the dogs run around but another big storm is expected to roll in Christmas day!

 

 

 

I will be thinking of all my BB's on Christmas day!

Mimi

[[le...]]

Hi Mimi,

 

I'm so happy for you that your are in this place of peace. What a gift after all that you have been through.

 

Thank you for your blog....I have found it to be helpful and encouraging as I began my valium crossover and taper. You are so close to the finish line Mimi, congratulations!

 

Have a wonderful Christmas.

 

Leslie