Over 60 help and support.

[[Ba...]]

FH, yes, friends drop like flies.

 

I did not have many to start with as my sleep disorder made my world really small. 

Within that world, my 50+ year friend who always said I was part of the family (she is married with kids and a grandkid coming and infinite number of cousins), has seen me once in last several years.

 

I keep going over this... know I need to let it go.  Know it says more about her than me.  But she is out in the world living a full life and I am isolated here and really hurt from her behavior.

 

sigh

[[Gu...]]

I feel your pain Barb, none of my friends have reached out to me either. I have tried calling a few times but it always goes to voice mail.  When I get through this I am making new friends.

[[bl...]]

I am 15 months off and back in wave mental/ anxiety agin ? What to do?

[[...]]

I am 65 and hope to be off in at least 3-5 years. It seems like a long time, but it seems a lot harder now. I have friends, but everyone seems so busy and there are days when I don't want to be out.

My husband is very supportive, but can never understand what this is like. It is a lonely place to be.

I do have a friend who is 69, takes Ativan and seems to be doing fine. She doesn't want to hear about tapering off. We have discussed it in the past and she gets anxious just talking about it.

I will hanging out here for a long time. I so want off of this Klonopin and I will take as long as I have to, so I can walk off safely.

I am not even tapering yet as I am still trying to stabilize from a huge cut I made around the 1st of June. .5mg. My math error. . I then went back up and then started doing a DLMT with 3/4 liquid. I used a different brand and that made things worse. I can't seem to get over it. My hormones also tanked which makes me feel bad. I had no clue until I got my labs done. I am trying to increase my Estradiol to a level where I feel good. It seems like it is one thing after another. I still will keep trying.

Just know that you all are not alone and there are many out there in the same boat. I am wondering how many people are in withdrawal and don't even know it.

God Bless,

 

Dana

 

[[Gu...]]

It took me a long time to realize my problems stemmed from benzo and I am paying the price Dana.

 

Blue, congrats on 15 months. I envy you. One day at a time, you are almost there.  I have no advice as I am still tapering and will be for at least another year. But I’ve read some of your posts. You know what to do and we are here for you.

[[bl...]]

Thanks GP it seems I am wave like I was in acute wd it sucks !!! Yes I know what do is ride it out  it shall pass I know  when the waves are coming if wake up 3 am and do  not go back to sleep  I had adrenal rush this morning while  sleeping??

[[Fi...]]

The loss of friendships weighs on me too very much. I too plan to get new friends when I get off.

 

Thank you Mary for saying there is kindness here, so important for me right now.

 

I made a mistake and had an intense therapy session last evening.  It involved EFT tapping, which is supposed help mental trauma and move energy.  I cried so much and was exhausted afterwards. Then the sweat poured off of me all  night and I didnt sleep.  I want to heal so badly that I cant just let the process happen. I feel I disregulated my already disregulate nervous system. Back in bed to calm down.  I have stop pushing so hard. 

t sleep.  So

[[or...]]

I did not have many to start with as my sleep disorder made my world really small. 

Within that world, my 50+ year friend who always said I was part of the family (she is married with kids and a grandkid coming and infinite number of cousins), has seen me once in last several years.

 

Barbara, have you tried frankly talking to your friend?

 

I had the same thing happen with a friend when I was tapering, and when I told her how hurt and abandoned I felt, she said that she thought I wanted space and to be left alone to heal. When I told her that it was just the opposite I wanted, she was horrified that she had misread me. We patched things up. I explained that often I was not up to much besides a phone call, and she understood. I really didn't want to lose this 30+ year friend.She and I both agreed that my talking to her made the difference. She thought that I had abandoned her!

 

Can you talk to your friend? Honestly? Tell her how much her friendship has meant and that you don't want to lose it? Sometimes if we speak from our hearts, another heart hears us. 

 

Anyhow, just my experience.

 

Katz

[[Gu...]]

It sounds like those emotions really needed to come out Blue.  Good advice to give up trying to sleep with 3am wake up. I keep pushing for more sleep and get so frustrated. Lessons learned.

 

Do you ever wAtch Benzo Warrior on YouTube.  She had such a break through and I was so happy for her.

 

You will get through this!  Keep on keeping on.

[[bl...]]

Gp I am working keeping my self busy today?

[[Gu...]]

Good for you Blue.  I am certainly rooting for you!

[[bl...]]

Gp it was bad morning but  I kept moving even anxiety which sucks!

[[Gu...]]

That seems to be the answer, Blue.  Keep moving and lots of distractions.  Laying about makes things much worse.  That window is coming soon.

[[bl...]]

Gp so far walked my dogs a mile went ww today going to the mall and far today!!! Dealing with anxiety its uncomfortable but not dangerous!!

[[Gu...]]

I missed my mile walk with my dogs.  Now it’s too hot. I am waiting for thunderstorms to come and cool things off so I can take them.  They are not amused with me.

[[bl...]]

Gp it hard sometimes to hold your composure when a nasty wave hits!

[[Gu...]]

I don’t think I’ve had that experience yet as I am still doing a SLOW taper.  You have come such a long way.  Won’t that end be such a beautiful sight?  I can’t wait to get there.

[[bl...]]

Gp I am  at mall now my  wd was a bad one I have live that I c/t fast taper. You have time to prepare for the jump.

[[Ma...]]

The loss of friendships weighs on me too very much. I too plan to get new friends when I get off.

 

Thank you Mary for saying there is kindness here, so important for me right now.

 

I made a mistake and had an intense therapy session last evening.  It involved EFT tapping, which is supposed help mental trauma and move energy.  I cried so much and was exhausted afterwards. Then the sweat poured off of me all  night and I didnt sleep.  I want to heal so badly that I cant just let the process happen. I feel I disregulated my already disregulate nervous system. Back in bed to calm down.  I have stop pushing so hard. 

t sleep.  So

 

Maybe you are tired now but in a few days it will have cleared some of this horrible stuff out of you body, I hope so  .

[[Fi...]]

The loss of friendships weighs on me too very much. I too plan to get new friends when I get off.

 

Thank you Mary for saying there is kindness here, so important for me right now.

 

I made a mistake and had an intense therapy session last evening.  It involved EFT tapping, which is supposed help mental trauma and move energy.  I cried so much and was exhausted afterwards. Then the sweat poured off of me all  night and I didnt sleep.  I want to heal so badly that I cant just let the process happen. I feel I disregulated my already disregulate nervous system. Back in bed to calm down.  I have stop pushing so hard. 

t sleep.  So

 

Maybe you are tired now but in a few days it will have cleared some of this horrible stuff out of you body, I hope so  .

 

Thanks Mary, I'm hoping that happens.  Of course now I fear that because I was pollydrugged, my chances of getting off this benzo is low.  I know I'm tired and I hope it's just my benzo brain talking. 

[[Ma...]]

The loss of friendships weighs on me too very much. I too plan to get new friends when I get off.

 

Thank you Mary for saying there is kindness here, so important for me right now.

 

I made a mistake and had an intense therapy session last evening.  It involved EFT tapping, which is supposed help mental trauma and move energy.  I cried so much and was exhausted afterwards. Then the sweat poured off of me all  night and I didnt sleep.  I want to heal so badly that I cant just let the process happen. I feel I disregulated my already disregulate nervous system. Back in bed to calm down.  I have stop pushing so hard. 

t sleep.  So

 

Maybe you are tired now but in a few days it will have cleared some of this horrible stuff out of you body, I hope so  .

 

Thanks Mary, I'm hoping that happens.  Of course now I fear that because I was pollydrugged, my chances of getting off this benzo is low.  I know I'm tired and I hope it's just my benzo brain talking.

 

Try not to think too far ahead, then it becomes overwhelming, sometimes a day is overwhelming enough.  A lot of people people have said this to me, so guess who I am going to say it to?  Yes you! :).  Don't look at how far you have to go, look at how far you've come and you've come a long way baby

[[...]]

The loss of friendships weighs on me too very much. I too plan to get new friends when I get off.

 

Thank you Mary for saying there is kindness here, so important for me right now.

 

I made a mistake and had an intense therapy session last evening.  It involved EFT tapping, which is supposed help mental trauma and move energy.  I cried so much and was exhausted afterwards. Then the sweat poured off of me all  night and I didnt sleep.  I want to heal so badly that I cant just let the process happen. I feel I disregulated my already disregulate nervous system. Back in bed to calm down.  I have stop pushing so hard. 

t sleep.  So

 

 

 

 

 

Maybe you are tired now but in a few days it will have cleared some of this horrible stuff out of you body, I hope so  .

 

Thanks Mary, I'm hoping that happens.  Of course now I fear that because I was pollydrugged, my chances of getting off this benzo is low.  I know I'm tired and I hope it's just my benzo brain talking.

 

Try not to think too far ahead, then it becomes overwhelming, sometimes a day is overwhelming enough.  A lot of people people have said this to me, so guess who I am going to say it to?  Yes you! :).  Don't look at how far you have to go, look at how far you've come and you've come a long way baby

 

I agree with that, Mary! I try to stay in the moment which is not easy. I have always been a planner, but this is something we have to take day by day. It is good to have a goal, but not project far into the future. I have been so guilty of that. I have learned at my age to lower my expectations! Really lower them!

Final Healing, I think you are doing great! You have come so far! I am excited for you. The suffering is very rough, but one day you will have your success story!

I believe that we all will!

[[Fi...]]

The loss of friendships weighs on me too very much. I too plan to get new friends when I get off.

 

Thank you Mary for saying there is kindness here, so important for me right now.

 

I made a mistake and had an intense therapy session last evening.  It involved EFT tapping, which is supposed help mental trauma and move energy.  I cried so much and was exhausted afterwards. Then the sweat poured off of me all  night and I didnt sleep.  I want to heal so badly that I cant just let the process happen. I feel I disregulated my already disregulate nervous system. Back in bed to calm down.  I have stop pushing so hard. 

t sleep.  So

 

 

 

 

 

Maybe you are tired now but in a few days it will have cleared some of this horrible stuff out of you body, I hope so  .

 

Thanks Mary, I'm hoping that happens.  Of course now I fear that because I was pollydrugged, my chances of getting off this benzo is low.  I know I'm tired and I hope it's just my benzo brain talking.

 

Try not to think too far ahead, then it becomes overwhelming, sometimes a day is overwhelming enough.  A lot of people people have said this to me, so guess who I am going to say it to?  Yes you! :).  Don't look at how far you have to go, look at how far you've come and you've come a long way baby

 

I agree with that, Mary! I try to stay in the moment which is not easy. I have always been a planner, but this is something we have to take day by day. It is good to have a goal, but not project far into the future. I have been so guilty of that. I have learned at my age to lower my expectations! Really lower them!

Final Healing, I think you are doing great! You have come so far! I am excited for you. The suffering is very rough, but one day you will have your success story!

I believe that we all will!

 

Thank you both.  It's a very tough day and I've already had a few this week.  I'm holding on as best I can right now because indo want a medication free life.  But for now, I would settle for functional, which I'm not.  Trying to stay afloat till I go to bed tonight.

 

Thanks again.

[[ea...]]

Dana,

Nice post. I used to see myself as a planner but benzo wd made me have to live in the moment. Not easy to do.

 

I want to tell all of you something. In 7 years on BB, I have found that we OLDER people seem to do much better at healing from benzos. Some of you may worry that age affects your healing. But it wont. On the contrary, older people have learned more life skills than someone say, 35 years old. We have dealt with crises, painful events, deaths, and many more things that test our strength. And all of this helps us get through bwd. What I have witnessed here on BB is that older people, especially women, seem to do much better at getting off benzos. At our age, we do start to realize that life is final, at some point we WILL die. When you are younger, you do not think about that as life seems endless.

Never give up in your quest for a healthier happier life. It can and does exist and as you heal from benzos you will slowly find out exactly who you are NOW, minus benzos on board.

For me that was life changing.

east

[[Gu...]]

Excellent post.  Thank you East Coast!