New 6-12 month buddy group

[[...]]

HI Limeyadd,

 

So sorry you are suffering through this. But take comfort from the fact we are all in the same boat. It’s not abnormal for this timeframe.

 

I had really bad hair loss for the first 6 months or so but it has stopped and is growing back now. Lots have had this and it eventually stops.

 

Hang in there!

Mcs

[[...]]

does anyone elses anxiety feel like a "tangible" thing? like the anxiety is radiating from the elephant sitting on my chest.

 

i live 24/7 now with a stupid crazy amount of literal anxiousness, and its centered right in the upper middle portion of my chest. i cant sleep lately at all. its like living in a 24/7 adrenaline surge almost, its like im in constant panic state and it will not relent tis driving me crazy. a lot of my other symptoms have calmed down a bit, though honestly most of them are still there. i wouldnt be toooo bad if the stupid level anxiousness calmed down, its so damn uncomfortable all day and awful trying to sleep with it at night.

 

its worse when i lay down actually, like it rolls up almost into my throat. silliness.

 

and yeah its all accompanied with fear and racing thoughts, im looking over my shoulder for the reaper.

 

i know this sounds pretty grim, but again, its not all bleak, a lot of my symptoms arent nearly what they were.

 

I can absolutely relate to this Luke.  For me, I'm bracing my stomach like someone is about to punch me in the gut.. except it's 24/7.  It all radiates from there.  Oh, also sprinkle in some depression... and the "jumping thoughts," - like I can't focus on one thing.. my thoughts jump from one to the next.. totally unrelated to each other... like I can't decide what to think about...  truly crazy stuff.. literally makes me feel like I'm going insane. When I get upset, and this happens waaay to easily, I can't seem to calm down - which gets pretty tricky with a 3 year old part time terrorist/part time angel to take care of. 

 

I've had many things disappear.  My crushing fatigue is now simply fatigue now... my bowel movements are regular (sorry), I don't have crying fits out of the blue, I can sleep in my own bed (for some reason I couldn't.. had this weird fear of it..  ), I don't get paralyzing anxiety when I have to pick up/ drop of my 3 year old daughter (I think she'd give a Navy SEAL a panic attack to be honest). On most days.. if I have the time.. I can exercise too. 

 

This is a great thread BTW.  You are all extremely supportive of one another. 

[[Be...]]

I’m so sorry to hear that so many of us are dealing with the anxiety/fear thing. Sorry Pinky.

 

What’s up with the crippling anxiety this month?  Me too. Gone for the most part in December, creeping up in January and killing me in February.

 

I feel like it’s going hand in hand with this wave I’m in. It’s like I’ve hit a wall, just tired physically and emotionally, slammed backwards and intensely symptomatic. Put it all together and it equals . . . Pure terror and anxiety. Welcome back acute!

 

But I also feel something different underneath it. It’s almost too much to be real. I really do think there’s some serious work being done in my body.

 

We are healing no matter how much it hurts. And Baylissa swears that the intensity of symptoms has no bearing on timeframe.

 

Let’s hope!

McS

 

Thanks MCS appreciate the thoughts, yeah im not sure whats going on but anxiety definitely seems to be plagueing us all right now. Oh im praying your right about the healing taking place right now cause im struggling with the lack of sleep. Good to know im not alone. We should all definetely go to a 12-18 months group when the time comes. I know it sucks to think we would still need to be doing this 6 months from now but even if its only for another 1-2 months id like to conitnue seeing a space where I can check to see how Im progressing in relation to you all who are so remarkably similiar right now. Hopefully we all pull out of this together like clockwark in march or april. 

 

Hey pinky sorry to hear you are getting a wave, Im with you if that helps. Getting a nasty one at this month, its a pretty intense, way tougher than the previous 2 months. Sleep is all messed up and work is stressful. Hopefully in a few months it gets better for us all here. It's good we keep communicating in this thread!

[[...]]

Hey all!

 

I just wondered if those of you who experience the windows and waves find that after a wave you come out with a bump in baseline?

 

I didn’t have this start until December. December was a window of sorts. Things got better and I had some decent days. But in January things started to slide and I’m now in a monster wave.

 

I’m trying to find a pattern in my healing but my pattern seems to be the no pattern pattern.

 

Thanks!  Keep healing!!

 

McS

[[Be...]]

Hey McS! Yes to answer your question. Everytime at least for me, Im over a bad wave (my healing is like this....I get wonderful near normal windows or I get slammed in bad waves), baseline increases! I think as you get further along, you will notice it more. Hope u feel better

[[...]]

Thanks BB!  I'm hopeful. This has been a long slide and a rotten couple of weeks. I've kinda hit that mental and physical wall.  But this wave has been like a trip down taper/acute memory lane. All these things that were lessening or gone hit hard. Not happy. Downright scared actually.

 

I'm in a little window right now. Not sure how long it will last but I'm happy for a bit of relief.

 

Healing is happening, but darn, it's slow!

 

Mcs

[[gg...]]

II hope it’s cool that I post here although I just passed the 1 year mark.

I was posting on this thread months ago but I have been taking some time away from bb because my benzos brain gravitates towards the horror stories 😟

What I’m struggling with is a wave that began at 9 months and is now over 3 months long. I track my progress daily and weekly using a numerical graph so that I can make sense of some of the patterns that form. Recently I graphed all my months together and saw a non linear yet steady improvement from acute to 9 months. It was great to actually see the trend solidly upward.

But the last 3 months have been 3 weeks terrible and an odd week just really bad leading up to this week where I hit a year out and it’s probably the worst week since acute.

I did have 2 full day windows about 2 weeks ago but it did not last.

What I find with windows is my fear and anxiety lift, which makes my depression lift and although my head pressure and tinnitus are still noticeable, I feel like I am in the tolerable realm.

And really that’s what I am seeking most, is for this to just become tolerable.

Sadly my career has suffered immensely through this and I have dwindled down to a starting position part time. I can’t decide if the demoralizing effect of this is worth the distraction and sense of still having a career. The loss of my beloved career has been a huge trigger for me.

I appreciate all of your posts folks, I have followed most of you through this. This group has been a positive place to hash out this ordeal. Much thanks

[[Kl...]]

I had a fairly linear progression til about 9 months myself, then it was up and down til 14.5 and now have been in a huge wave bigger than anything since the jump since then at almost 17 months (10 weeks now). Hopefully we both see an end to these horrible waves soon!

[[nm...]]

I'm at 9.5 months and continue to get increasingly concerned/perplexed as to why I haven't had any windows whatsoever. That being said, I don't exactly have more acute waves, either - I've just been existing at this baseline and literally feel the exact same as when I was still taking Klonopin. The only minor changes I've noticed is I'm dreaming again somewhat regularly for the first time in years, my anxiety is pretty much nonexistent (was able to get off my Prozac - at least for now), and when I drink, the hangovers aren't as massively terrible the next day. Occasionally I'll have little glimpses of real emotions, but it's not that often - maybe every couple of weeks. Sometimes it's so minor that I'm not sure if I just imagined it to try to convince myself of some semblance of healing. 

 

I remember telling my therapist a month or so after quitting that I couldn't wait to be >6 months off these drugs - I was sure I'd be feeling noticeably better. Not so :/

 

I came across the "Four Stages of Healing" post, but I can't really figure out where I fit in - I was only taking the meds once a week or so when I quit - had been doing so for a year and a half before then - and didn't have a significant acute phase afterward. My symptoms are exactly the same as the tolerance withdrawal I was in, so zero "morphing" in the nature of symptoms, as described in #2. I definitely have sensitivities, as mentioned in #3, but again, these have all been around since before I quit Klonopin for good.

 

This really makes me worried I'll end up in protracted withdrawal beyond two years and I'm starting to punish myself for prolonging my healing process when I don't make the healthiest choices (i.e. drinks with friends or eat something sugary/processed) - it's all totally starting to mess with me.

 

 

[[...]]

I'm at 9.5 months and continue to get increasingly concerned/perplexed as to why I haven't had any windows whatsoever. That being said, I don't exactly have more acute waves, either - I've just been existing at this baseline and literally feel the exact same as when I was still taking Klonopin. The only minor changes I've noticed is I'm dreaming again somewhat regularly for the first time in years, my anxiety is pretty much nonexistent (was able to get off my Prozac - at least for now), and when I drink, the hangovers aren't as massively terrible the next day. Occasionally I'll have little glimpses of real emotions, but it's not that often - maybe every couple of weeks. Sometimes it's so minor that I'm not sure if I just imagined it to try to convince myself of some semblance of healing. 

 

I remember telling my therapist a month or so after quitting that I couldn't wait to be >6 months off these drugs - I was sure I'd be feeling noticeably better. Not so :/

 

I came across the "Four Stages of Healing" post, but I can't really figure out where I fit in - I was only taking the meds once a week or so when I quit - had been doing so for a year and a half before then - and didn't have a significant acute phase afterward. My symptoms are exactly the same as the tolerance withdrawal I was in, so zero "morphing" in the nature of symptoms, as described in #2. I definitely have sensitivities, as mentioned in #3, but again, these have all been around since before I quit Klonopin for good.

 

This really makes me worried I'll end up in protracted withdrawal beyond two years and I'm starting to punish myself for prolonging my healing process when I don't make the healthiest choices (i.e. drinks with friends or eat something sugary/processed) - it's all totally starting to mess with me.

 

Nmcw, I nearing 9 months out and feel pretty much the same way!

Yes, dreams have come back, and I am remembering a lot too. Aside from that... well I have to say I don't need to sleep as much as I used to on drugs (couldn't escape the 3-hour nap at some point)... finding positives is yet still very much a struggle for me. The anhedonia feels deeper and that is my torture. I haven't had a real window, and I doubt the few glimpses of something "better", I wonder whether they really happened or whether things were just easier and/or more enjoyable.

 

I know how frustrating it is to go looking for patterns and timelines, and not being able to relate to anyone. Well, until now lol!

 

I don't think this means we will end up protracted, anything can still happen any day - remember that we are healing even if we don't feel like it. What many seem to have in common is this belief/certitude that we will never get better as symptoms feel so permanent...

 

Keep taking care of yourself, and feed your mind with positive stuff, whether from BBs or elsewhere. We just have to survive this. We will come out of it 

 

Hugs,

Julz

[[nm...]]

Thanks so much, Julz - while I wish we were feeling more healed, it is comforting to know that I’m not alone and that we all don’t heal linearly. We can survive this! You’re right - anything can happen.

 

Thanks again for the much-needed positivity 

[[pi...]]

Dang it. I thought I was so close to done in the healing tank. I was really good for like 3 weeks. Now sleep is pure hell again, woke 8 times last night with huge energy bursts. Im getting that revved up 'fast' feeling like my heart will slip into a rhythm of beating too fast and ill die.  > Arggghhhhh! so close to normal for a while. My energy has started to return a little but its over-doing it and im getting these over doses of energy surges for hours a day, its really weird and I dont really remember symptoms like this on the opposite end of the spectrum to fatigue. Its freaking me out. Anyone else having this by any chance at around 1 year? Im 11 and half months at the moment

 

[[Gr...]]

Hi Pinky, I'm at 12-1/2 months and have been feeling more revved up lately too, with chest tightness, blood pressure spikes, and just feeling nervous in general when nervousness hasn't been much of an issue before. I've been having more stressful dreams and wake up breathing fast. I'm seeing my dr tomorrow just to check my heart and also my thyroid hormones. I've had to slowly reduce my thyroid med dosage over time and it may be too high again. At least I hope it is. If the doc can't find anything wrong, I guess I'm being hit by that 12 month wave that some people get.

[[pi...]]

Hi Pinky, I'm at 12-1/2 months and have been feeling more revved up lately too, with chest tightness, blood pressure spikes, and just feeling nervous in general when nervousness hasn't been much of an issue before. I've been having more stressful dreams and wake up breathing fast. I'm seeing my dr tomorrow just to check my heart and also my thyroid hormones. I've had to slowly reduce my thyroid med dosage over time and it may be too high again. At least I hope it is. If the doc can't find anything wrong, I guess I'm being hit by that 12 month wave that some people get.

 

Hey grape-juice thanks for responding, appreciate it. It really is so reassuring to realise im not alone  by reading your response. Every time there is a new issue I freak out and have to go through the steps of calming myself down and reminding myself this is benzo related. Its just so bizarre to "feel" like im running around a room while just lying there in bed. I think its akathisia (inner restlessness). Yeah totally is thyroid cause then you can make some leeway by changing treatment. Sadly I dont have a medical thing i can think of to explain this. Its just the mysterious benzo craziness`

 

 

 

 

 

[[...]]

I'm at 9.5 months and continue to get increasingly concerned/perplexed as to why I haven't had any windows whatsoever. That being said, I don't exactly have more acute waves, either - I've just been existing at this baseline and literally feel the exact same as when I was still taking Klonopin. The only minor changes I've noticed is I'm dreaming again somewhat regularly for the first time in years, my anxiety is pretty much nonexistent (was able to get off my Prozac - at least for now), and when I drink, the hangovers aren't as massively terrible the next day. Occasionally I'll have little glimpses of real emotions, but it's not that often - maybe every couple of weeks. Sometimes it's so minor that I'm not sure if I just imagined it to try to convince myself of some semblance of healing. 

 

I remember telling my therapist a month or so after quitting that I couldn't wait to be >6 months off these drugs - I was sure I'd be feeling noticeably better. Not so :/

 

I came across the "Four Stages of Healing" post, but I can't really figure out where I fit in - I was only taking the meds once a week or so when I quit - had been doing so for a year and a half before then - and didn't have a significant acute phase afterward. My symptoms are exactly the same as the tolerance withdrawal I was in, so zero "morphing" in the nature of symptoms, as described in #2. I definitely have sensitivities, as mentioned in #3, but again, these have all been around since before I quit Klonopin for good.

 

This really makes me worried I'll end up in protracted withdrawal beyond two years and I'm starting to punish myself for prolonging my healing process when I don't make the healthiest choices (i.e. drinks with friends or eat something sugary/processed) - it's all totally starting to mess with me.

 

Nmcw, I nearing 9 months out and feel pretty much the same way!

Yes, dreams have come back, and I am remembering a lot too. Aside from that... well I have to say I don't need to sleep as much as I used to on drugs (couldn't escape the 3-hour nap at some point)... finding positives is yet still very much a struggle for me. The anhedonia feels deeper and that is my torture. I haven't had a real window, and I doubt the few glimpses of something "better", I wonder whether they really happened or whether things were just easier and/or more enjoyable.

 

I know how frustrating it is to go looking for patterns and timelines, and not being able to relate to anyone. Well, until now lol!

 

I don't think this means we will end up protracted, anything can still happen any day - remember that we are healing even if we don't feel like it. What many seem to have in common is this belief/certitude that we will never get better as symptoms feel so permanent...

 

Keep taking care of yourself, and feed your mind with positive stuff, whether from BBs or elsewhere. We just have to survive this. We will come out of it 

 

Hugs,

Julz

 

Great point's Julz... I'm sorry you're still struggling like the rest of us... but you always manage to keep a positive tone and you're posts are always helpful.  I hope you catch a break soon.

[[...]]

Thanks so much, T1D. One just needs to survive... being positive does help, even if it's not easy. I hope you too start to feel better soon!!

Hugs 

Julz xx

[[Be...]]

Dang it. I thought I was so close to done in the healing tank. I was really good for like 3 weeks. Now sleep is pure hell again, woke 8 times last night with huge energy bursts. Im getting that revved up 'fast' feeling like my heart will slip into a rhythm of beating too fast and ill die.  > Arggghhhhh! so close to normal for a while. My energy has started to return a little but its over-doing it and im getting these over doses of energy surges for hours a day, its really weird and I dont really remember symptoms like this on the opposite end of the spectrum to fatigue. Its freaking me out. Anyone else having this by any chance at around 1 year? Im 11 and half months at the moment

 

Hey Pinky and Grape, Im 2 weeks behind you Pinky and getting this alot now...Ill toss and turn at night alot and feel really wired up, having a hard time with this at work plus the heart is fluttery.....ugh. Hope this passes for us soon. its benzo wd and yes it sucks! Feels like I drank 50 cups of coffee!

[[pi...]]

Dang it. I thought I was so close to done in the healing tank. I was really good for like 3 weeks. Now sleep is pure hell again, woke 8 times last night with huge energy bursts. Im getting that revved up 'fast' feeling like my heart will slip into a rhythm of beating too fast and ill die.  > Arggghhhhh! so close to normal for a while. My energy has started to return a little but its over-doing it and im getting these over doses of energy surges for hours a day, its really weird and I dont really remember symptoms like this on the opposite end of the spectrum to fatigue. Its freaking me out. Anyone else having this by any chance at around 1 year? Im 11 and half months at the moment

 

Hey Pinky and Grape, Im 2 weeks behind you Pinky and getting this alot now...Ill toss and turn at night alot and feel really wired up, having a hard time with this at work plus the heart is fluttery.....ugh. Hope this passes for us soon. its benzo wd and yes it sucks! Feels like I drank 50 cups of coffee!

 

Hiya BeatBenzos

Good to know we aren't alone. Yeah man the tossing and turning, feeling wired, heart flutter. Spot on same stuff. This is eerie how similar the symptoms are. Im surprised more people dont talk about the 1 year hurdle. I feel like its a definite 'thing' cause my improvement was sort of gradual and familiar for months 9-11. But last few weeks has been really rocky. Sleep isnt consistent at all at the moment, everything feels like it 'morphing again' in terms of symptoms and the symptoms change up pretty regular. It feels like a time warp to earlier months. (if im being honest though, the intensity isnt AS BAD as the first few months).

 

still really sucks.

 

If anyone knows a post of someone who mentions coming out on the other side of this year bump, please can you point it out. Would be so great to know when this ends (and if it ends)??

 

[[Be...]]

I alternate between that jacked up feeling and feeling tired/fatigue. Do you get the weak/fatigued feeling?

[[Gr...]]

Hi Pinky, I'm at 12-1/2 months and have been feeling more revved up lately too, with chest tightness, blood pressure spikes, and just feeling nervous in general when nervousness hasn't been much of an issue before. I've been having more stressful dreams and wake up breathing fast. I'm seeing my dr tomorrow just to check my heart and also my thyroid hormones. I've had to slowly reduce my thyroid med dosage over time and it may be too high again. At least I hope it is. If the doc can't find anything wrong, I guess I'm being hit by that 12 month wave that some people get.

 

Hey grape-juice thanks for responding, appreciate it. It really is so reassuring to realise im not alone  by reading your response. Every time there is a new issue I freak out and have to go through the steps of calming myself down and reminding myself this is benzo related. Its just so bizarre to "feel" like im running around a room while just lying there in bed. I think its akathisia (inner restlessness). Yeah totally is thyroid cause then you can make some leeway by changing treatment. Sadly I dont have a medical thing i can think of to explain this. Its just the mysterious benzo craziness`

Well my dr had me stop my thyroid med Friday since he thought my thyroid was overactive. My blood pressure and pulse and nervousness have been lower since then although I still have some mild chest tightness and uneasiness. Bit more fatigued too. But then we got the labwork back today and my thyroid numbers were normal! So he said to call him back next week and see how I feel off the medicine. I was on such a low dose it may not matter if I just stay off it.

 

He also sent me to a cardiologist that I'm seeing next week for a stress test and to check my heart. So now I'm all worried about heart problems. But sometimes I'll just burp and the chest tightness will be much better. So maybe all this is just gas plus anxiety, I don't know. I'm 13 months out tomorrow. This has been building over the past 5-6 weeks so I guess it's that 12 month wave.

[[pi...]]

Hi Pinky, I'm at 12-1/2 months and have been feeling more revved up lately too, with chest tightness, blood pressure spikes, and just feeling nervous in general when nervousness hasn't been much of an issue before. I've been having more stressful dreams and wake up breathing fast. I'm seeing my dr tomorrow just to check my heart and also my thyroid hormones. I've had to slowly reduce my thyroid med dosage over time and it may be too high again. At least I hope it is. If the doc can't find anything wrong, I guess I'm being hit by that 12 month wave that some people get.

 

Hey grape-juice thanks for responding, appreciate it. It really is so reassuring to realise im not alone  by reading your response. Every time there is a new issue I freak out and have to go through the steps of calming myself down and reminding myself this is benzo related. Its just so bizarre to "feel" like im running around a room while just lying there in bed. I think its akathisia (inner restlessness). Yeah totally is thyroid cause then you can make some leeway by changing treatment. Sadly I dont have a medical thing i can think of to explain this. Its just the mysterious benzo craziness`

Well my dr had me stop my thyroid med Friday since he thought my thyroid was overactive. My blood pressure and pulse and nervousness have been lower since then although I still have some mild chest tightness and uneasiness. Bit more fatigued too. But then we got the labwork back today and my thyroid numbers were normal! So he said to call him back next week and see how I feel off the medicine. I was on such a low dose it may not matter if I just stay off it.

 

He also sent me to a cardiologist that I'm seeing next week for a stress test and to check my heart. So now I'm all worried about heart problems. But sometimes I'll just burp and the chest tightness will be much better. So maybe all this is just gas plus anxiety, I don't know. I'm 13 months out tomorrow. This has been building over the past 5-6 weeks so I guess it's that 12 month wave.

 

Oh wow, benzos strike again i guess in that case seeing as your labs were normal.

 

I am in pretty much exactly the same boat with you on the chest tightness that definitely doesn't feel like normal anxiety and then you burp on its relieved. Apparently its got something to do with swallowing air all the time due to anxiety leading to chronic belching. That plus i dont think our GI systems work properly so the air just sit there causing chest discomfort all day. Thats my theory anyways. Yeah the build up was exactly the same for me, 5-6 weeks of weirdness all over again after feeling decent for a while. When will it end?

 

The good news. 75% of ppl usually recover in the time frame we are headed into (12-16 months) so theres hope yet. Hang in there grapejuice. We can do this 

 

Oh and to answer your question Beatbenzos, yes I have been alternating between jacked up and flat out fatigued for the whole time of building up. Its pretty random but prior to the 6 weeks I was just fatigued majority of the time and only had a rev up day every now and then. There were weeks recently of mostly feeling completely wired like running from danger.

[[...]]

"The good news. 75% of ppl usually recover in the time frame we are headed into (12-16 months) so theres hope yet. Hang in there grapejuice. We can do this  "

 

I like good news 

[Guest [Lu...]]

Pinky and Grape oh man im feeling the exact same things

i have a permanent "tension" or like a physical manifestation of anxiety just clinging inside the middle of my chest, its like i feel like what one feels like right after getting scared, this permanent ahhhhh feeling and it wlll...not...go...away, its driving me crazy. my bp is lower than usual, but my heartrate is a little high which is also driving me nuts. when i lay down, or lay back, its like i feel it roll up higher into my chest, making sleep sooo hard, i constantly hear and feel my heartbeat.

i get regular palpitations, not tooooo many, but enough to keep me paranoid that death is imminent 24/7...

ive had a few here and there "biggies" palpitations that cause me to jump up or go woooaahhhh... ugh I hate it.

its weird that they returned somewhere in month 7-8 when they had all but disappeared. now theyre a bit stronger than ever.

 

the good news is that a lot of baseline horrors have abated to somewhat tolerable levels.

morning toxic nightmare mode isnt nearly as bad as it was 6 months ago, no matter my waves, the morning horror has let up a lot and thats a huuuge relief.

my dizziness is still there but its also not quite as bad, and agoraphobia is starting to ease off too, i actually went into my drug store without feeling like a mad pack of wild elephants was storming in behind me to shove me off a 5000 foot tall cliff.... now its only like theres one elephant and if im careful i can elude him....

 

sooo, meh, if all this heart and weird chest pressure, pangs, little pains, and palps along with the insane anxious tension would chill out, id say im on the way to halfway tolerable...

[[Ry...]]

my dizziness is still there but its also not quite as bad, and agoraphobia is starting to ease off too, i actually went into my drug store without feeling like a mad pack of wild elephants was storming in behind me to shove me off a 5000 foot tall cliff.... now its only like theres one elephant and if im careful i can elude him....

 

sooo, meh, if all this heart and weird chest pressure, pangs, little pains, and palps along with the insane anxious tension would chill out, id say im on the way to halfway tolerable...

 

The elephant analogy is hilarious. Always enjoy reading your descriptions. Glad you are on your way to halfway tolerable. That's great!

 

I've had a pretty significant change over the last month. My DR has declined significantly. I'm 8 months today, so I spent every bit of 7 months with pretty intense DR. Nice that it has given me a break. Hoping that it will continue to fade. I'm now feeling like I belong on this planet.  Still a decent list of sxs to cross off though. Getting more doable.

[[...]]

Oh yes, I have that chest thing often. And a little in my stomach. And I’ve noticed over the last few days an increased heart rate. I took my bp a couple of times and although the bp wasn’t too bad my pulse was very high.

 

The anxiety and fear thing is just overwhelming. Indescribable. But the elephants are a good analogy 

 

I do know some healing is happening but it seems so very slow. We’ll get there.

 

McS