New 6-12 month buddy group

[[...]]

...

 

This is wonderful, Grapefruit!!

 

Oh no, utter case of Benzo-brains !!  Sorry Grapejuice!!!

 

Luke - yes, may the Gods be with you!!

 

Best of Healing to All 

Julz x

[[...]]

Does anyone have to force themselves to do things because activity especially exercise makes dizziness worse?

[[Be...]]

I've just hit 10 months and things have gotten rocky......someone on here said that things get rocky around the 1 year mark so im praying its temporary blip down before going back up. I've been looking forward to hitting one year so much but I guess I thought it would be smooth sailing as i approached the quote "end phases". I feel like I ricocheted back to month 5 in the space of a week. My sleep is off again, my dreams are all vivid but not restful and my body just feels really sensitive to EVERYTHING again. Like I can hear and feel my heart beating constantly. My breathing is off rhythm and feels forced. I was so relieved when that went away cause i could stop stressing I had a heart condition and that death was imminent all the damn time.

 

Sorry to ramble. just needed to vent. Is anyone else noticing an uptick as they approach a year/ month 10-12?

 

How you doing now? Ive hit what you have at this date.

[[Br...]]

thanks wannabebetter...the agitation is just overwhelming

[[pi...]]

I've just hit 10 months and things have gotten rocky......someone on here said that things get rocky around the 1 year mark so im praying its temporary blip down before going back up. I've been looking forward to hitting one year so much but I guess I thought it would be smooth sailing as i approached the quote "end phases". I feel like I ricocheted back to month 5 in the space of a week. My sleep is off again, my dreams are all vivid but not restful and my body just feels really sensitive to EVERYTHING again. Like I can hear and feel my heart beating constantly. My breathing is off rhythm and feels forced. I was so relieved when that went away cause i could stop stressing I had a heart condition and that death was imminent all the damn time.

 

Sorry to ramble. just needed to vent. Is anyone else noticing an uptick as they approach a year/ month 10-12?

 

How you doing now? Ive hit what you have at this date.

 

Hey Beat Benzos

 

Damn that sucks dude sorry to hear you've gone that way too. I've started to come out of it a bit lately. But it was definitely like 5 weeks straight craziness of feeling like back at the start. The anxiety just became really unbearable constantly again and the symptoms were ones I had before but they were all back.

 

Heres some really great news though. Ive been feeling much better the last week..... since month 11 neared. I even had ALOT of drinks with friends the other night WOOT WWOOOOT! (cant tell you how much this meant as it means I can live a regular social life again) - and had a normal hangover for few days, not insanity WD sxs.

 

Then 2 days ago things got massively better (sxs turned down like 30-40% accross the board) after an experimental hail mary thing I tried. I havent wanted to mention it as it is still very new and Im not sure its permanent yet but I took my Dr's recommendation to try something a bit complementary. His wife is a doctor and she tried it and it worked for her. So i went along to a Clinical Pscychologist doctor who sub specialized in clinical hypnotherapy and I honestly felt alot better after. I have a skeptical mind however and had tertiary medical training so Im very pessimistic about alertnative/complementary medicine but I have to say wow Im feeling alot better. If meditation works on you with sxs relief I would highley recommend someone good at this as I have noticed a significant improvement in sxs. Who can say whether this was just time or the therapy I dont know but something happened and Im feeling much better

 

Hope your feeling better soon too. Keep trying and keep pushing on.

 

ALl the best

[[To...]]

Pinky,

 

That hypnotherapy is interesting, I had thought about it as I had it years ago. Great to hear you were able to live a somewhat normal life. Please keep us updated on your progress of the hypnosis

[[pi...]]

yes very interesting......I had to keep fighting the thought that it would be a monumental waste of time and money. I mean hypnotherapy jeeze i thought i was really scrapping the barrel here......but i gotta say. Apart from cleaning up diet and trying to get some excercise, this is the only thing that has even touched the symptoms in severity. It hasnt lasted very long and each day I still have the familiar struggle. But i just felt alot better coming out of it.it was legit too cause shes a pscyhologist, MD AND clinical hypntherapist so you do the whole medical pscyhology talk for an hour and half and then you kind of meditate and she talks while you meditate and tells you how to imagine the easing of the traumatic experience etc and you stop meditating and you suddenly notice that the buzzing and tinnitus and alot of other stuff has quitened, not gone away but gone quieter.. Call it placebo effect or whatever, it doesnt bother me, mind over matter etc, it still technically worked to lessen the symptoms and thats worth something to me

 

It took alot to get me to go.......I got three separate recommendations from 3 medical doctors i work with and know personally (not PHD's, the genuine lab coat type) to see this lady as they had found it surprisingly helpful to them who are also skeptical of complementary/alternative type fad medicines. I didnt expect miracles and i didnt get miracles. I did get some relief in sleep for a few days and symptoms relief which is still holding at 5 days later. Still not completely healed but i was struggling bad before i went and now i feel back to my baseline where i was prior to the one year hump i hit that people talk about. '

 

ah well, ANother day on the crazy road we are on I guess.....

 

 

 

[[Be...]]

Thanks Pinky and you are right, its crazy isnt it.... how I felt last month compared to this month....ugh..onward and forward. Glad to hear you snapped out of  it and feeling much better!

[[...]]

Hi!  I'm new to this thread. I'm in month 9. About a week in. I think I'm in a wave. A pretty bad one. Month seven things were looking up, but month 8 started to slide and here in month 9 the last ten days have been like a jump back off the cliff, almost to acute.

 

I was doing really good with the anxiety and fear. A lot of it had lifted  But I'm back in it very badly now. As bad as the first months. All of my symptoms have ramped up, some new ones have come and old ones revisiting.

 

Has anyone had this happen around this time?  I think after feeling better, falling so far. Back has really triggered my fears. I'm really hit hard with the oh my god, this is permanent symptom.

 

And worse, rationally I know well all heal from this in time. But I just can't get my brain to buy it at all.

 

Thanks for listening!

Mcs

[[Kl...]]

I was doing fairly well around 8 months off then 9.5 I got hit again with some bad stuff I hadn't had for a while. Unfortunately this is normal to have things get worse then better again.

[[...]]

Hi!  I'm new to this thread. I'm in month 9. About a week in. I think I'm in a wave. A pretty bad one. Month seven things were looking up, but month 8 started to slide and here in month 9 the last ten days have been like a jump back off the cliff, almost to acute.

 

I was doing really good with the anxiety and fear. A lot of it had lifted  But I'm back in it very badly now. As bad as the first months. All of my symptoms have ramped up, some new ones have come and old ones revisiting.

 

Has anyone had this happen around this time?  I think after feeling better, falling so far. Back has really triggered my fears. I'm really hit hard with the oh my god, this is permanent symptom.

 

And worse, rationally I know well all heal from this in time. But I just can't get my brain to buy it at all.

 

Thanks for listening!

Mcs

 

Same thing over here McS, this seems to be pretty common. 

[[...]]

I hate to see any of us going through this hell, but it helps to know we aren't alone or unique in this experience.

 

T1D, I've read your posts and we seem to be very similar in our patterns and timing. I'm slammed right now. January wasn't good but the last two weeks have been a trip back to the pit. I'm hopeful when I get out of here there's a big jump.

 

I hope you see some improvement soon too. We could sure use some hope.

 

McS

[[pi...]]

Hey MCS

 

Welcome bud, sorry to hear you've hit that 1 year mountain we all seem to fly into. I've just had 3-4 weeks of terrible echos of hell. Al the symptoms reminding me of the past journey rolled into one came and went on parade over 4 weeks. They seem to have lifted and i feel like ive whistled past the grave at this point and I gotta say I feel the closest to 'normal' ive been since this whole ordeal. I hope you will be on the other side of this soon too. Just another few weeks hopefully  . And as always with these bad waves, there is the unexpected baseline bump on the other side as a pleasant surprise to restore your hopes in the healing. You just gotta lose them all in the wave again.....keep on going dude

[[...]]

Thanks Pinky!  I didn’t get the window wave thing until month 7. It’s disconcerting. Yesterday I felt like I did in the first months off. The fear and anxiety, which has cycled out, came back with a vengeance. You just couldn’t make this up.

 

I can’t lie. I’m really scared and despairing any of this will ever leave. Tinnitus, Anxiety, broken sleep (it has gotten better) and twitching/muscle stuff are my worst symptoms. They don’t seem to get better, just worse.

 

I know this is the pattern. I understand windows and waves. I believe we all heal. But I just can’t seem to get my benzo brain to believe it.

 

Hoping we all heal very soon

 

McS

 

 

[[...]]

Thanks Pinky!  I didn’t get the window wave thing until month 7. It’s disconcerting. Yesterday I felt like I did in the first months off. The fear and anxiety, which has cycled out, came back with a vengeance. You just couldn’t make this up.

 

I can’t lie. I’m really scared and despairing any of this will ever leave. Tinnitus, Anxiety, broken sleep (it has gotten better) and twitching/muscle stuff are my worst symptoms. They don’t seem to get better, just worse.

 

I know this is the pattern. I understand windows and waves. I believe we all heal. But I just can’t seem to get my benzo brain to believe it.

 

Hoping we all heal very soon

 

McS

 

You're right.. we are very similar with our time lines and our symptoms/fears.  When I'm in a wave, I have alternating thoughts of "This is permanent" and "It's not WD, it's something else."  I think this may just be the worst part of WD.  However, I just came "out" of what seemed to be a 4-6 week wave yesterday.  Things just seemed to lift a little and I feel more "normal" yesterday.  I just have a feeling that I'm on the back 9 of this whole mess.  Similar to the feeling I had in month 7.  I hope you catch a break soon.  Message me if you need too. 

[[Ry...]]

Any of you still dealing with DP/DR?

 

I just cant tell if its a vision thing with me or DR. I really don't know how to describe it. Maybe its both. Its my constant reminder of benzo w/d. Without it I'd probably feel like 85%. With it, I just feel like i'm in the twilight zone. It gets worse when I am in public or situations that increase my anxiety. That leads me to believe its DR. Its only about half as bad as acute, but man I wish it would just go away.

 

Also, T1D glad you are coming out of that long wave. 

[[...]]

Hi All!

 

I have a question for all of you in my timeframe?  And this might be crazy benzo thinking from my not right brain.

 

How do you know if you are in a wave. My acute was horrible, but in truth, I was better mentally in acute and physically stronger. I had horrid anxiety, restlessness, fear, and lots of night symptoms with insomnia.

 

So things did get slightly better very slowly through months 3-6 and then in 7 I actually had a few good, almost normal days. Tinnitus would back down, fear and anxiety would be less. But these days were few. But the other days were a bit better. And there were still bad days.

 

But the last month, especially the last two weeks, it's been awful. Really intense. New symptoms. Old symptoms more intense. Tinnitus ramped up. Is that how you all describe a wave?

 

I just get confused because I get some better days but everything else just seems like crappy and really, really crappy.

 

Thanks!

Mcs

[[Ry...]]

MCS - In some ways I was better in acute too. I think we get run down in the months after acute when things are still tough. The time just takes a toll on our body and mind. Just have to keep reaching down deeper and deeper for that strength.

 

Just over the past month or so I've started  to pick up on the windows and waves. Its more like baseline and waves. Prior to that it was waves and tidal waves. Now I know I'm in a wave when the flu like symptoms appear. I get super weak and fatigued. All other sxs get twice as bad. I can generally pinpoint the peak and then the decline of the wave back to my baseline.

 

I just think over time the severity of it all just declines and the baseline seems more "normal" feeling and that's when its truly windows and waves.

 

This is how I see it anyway. I am new in this stage.

[[pi...]]

 

Just over the past month or so I've started  to pick up on the windows and waves. Its more like baseline and waves. Prior to that it was waves and tidal waves.

 

I agree with this. The baseline is much better as time goes on so the difference appears much greater i think when you get bad 'waves'. Like going from 0-100mph feels much more intense on the body then 80-100. at 80-100 you barely notice it. If your normalish and then bham at 100 you really feel wrecked by it i think. Thats how i have been the last month or so anyways

[[...]]

Hey all!

 

Quick question!  Do you all still experience really high anxiety even now, in the 6-12 month range?  Do you find you have it all the time or does it come and go? 

 

Mine had quieted down in month 7, but started back up in month 8 and is now just crazy bad in the beginning of 9.

 

Thanks!

 

Keep on healin’

McS

[[Ry...]]

Mine fluctuates from OK to very high. It comes and goes. Could be very high for a couple of days or just a couple of hours within a day. Overall its higher than my pre-benzo anxiey for sure.

[Guest [Lu...]]

anxiety, racy anxious levels are still waaayyy high, but some other things have dropped off in month 8.

a long way from feeling normal, still dizzy, ugh, still a lot of things, but the morning horribleness and some of the phobic feeling has dropped off, id say my baseline is definitely better thank the gods, though its mostly symptoms i cant even describe, just the general horror lol is a bit better.

 

holy crap am i exhausted from all this as im still having to hold up the illusion of leading a normal life

[[gg...]]

Anxiety is really my only symptom that is debilitating.

When I have a window from fear and anxiety I feel like I can get on with my life. But once it hits again I feel so rough I can barely work.

And sadly now I’ve had to demote myself to a low level part time job just to stay above water.

I hate to be so dramatic but this experience is basically ruining my life.

I am a year off tomorrow and feeling similar to how I felt 10 months ago.

Trying to hold on

[[Ry...]]

Ggbtd - Having read your posts up to your 8 month update, I can tell, from the outside looking in, that you are getting better. You are making progress and I believe you will get significantly better in the coming months. You are further along than me but like I said, I can see your progression in your posts. I’m confident you will get there.

[[Be...]]

Just popping in........Still in month 10, man I felt much better in month 9.....this month has been up and down like crazy.....last night woke up around midnite with terrible stomach and back issues, of course here at work and feel like roadkill. Hopefully month 11 is much better. How is everyone doing?