Please Assistance Needed in Recalculation of Taper / Thank you!

[[Pl...]]

 

Dearest SG.... I can't just share the bad with you I have to share the good.....today so far has probably been the best since I started reducing..... Nowhere near perfect by any means.... Not at all.... But a lot of my symptoms decreased so much in intensity..... Just kind of there in the background and I did have some bad blips..... But I'm so grateful and truly blessed to have this reprieve... I Know how this goes though......but for today ill take it......I am in utter awe and gratitude today.....

 

If I could just work my way down from a good baseline that's consistent.... Will I ever find or achieve it?  Better yet is it even possible in my case.... It completely eludes me...

 

thank you for your continued presence....

 

That's great PBH.  I think it is significant that you feel this way even though you are tapering.  All we can do is try to do what makes sense and hope we can get the symptoms to fade away as you go.  Keep tracking them.  They'll reveal a trend as time goes on...it is still early yet.

 

I agree with you...still too early to see the trend to figure this out....I write everything down now to try to see patterns.....thank you........

[[...]]

What is your dose today?

[[Pl...]]

What is your dose today?

 

SG ..... I'm doing super bad today...... The worst.... My pullout was 5.09ml.,.. I think I'm paradoxical to k.... Do you know the name of the test to see how people metabolize Valium/ kolonopin.....my doctor wants to know... I think Moya knows please help me.....

 

My whole body feels like its dumping tons of y adrenaline in me .... Like I drank 12  cups of coffee... Severe  involuntary movements.... Tremors...rls..... I'm not gonna make it....

[[...]]

What is your dose today?

 

SG ..... I'm doing super bad today...... The worst.... My pullout was 5.09ml.,.. I think I'm paradoxical to k.... Do you know the name of the test to see how people metabolize Valium/ kolonopin.....my doctor wants to know... I think Moya knows please help me.....

 

My whole body feels like its dumping tons of y adrenaline in me .... Like I drank 12  cups of coffee... Severe  involuntary movements.... Tremors...rls..... I'm not gonna make it....

 

Sorry to hear this PBH.  You're really up and down from one day to the next.  I don't know about the test you are talking about.  Maybe go on the K support thread or the V support thread and ask.  You'll make it.  Keep focusing on the future.  This is the bottom and it won't last.

[[Pl...]]

What is your dose today?

 

SG ..... I'm doing super bad today...... The worst.... My pullout was 5.09ml.,.. I think I'm paradoxical to k.... Do you know the name of the test to see how people metabolize Valium/ kolonopin.....my doctor wants to know... I think Moya knows please help me.....

 

My whole body feels like its dumping tons of y adrenaline in me .... Like I drank 12  cups of coffee... Severe  involuntary movements.... Tremors...rls..... I'm not gonna make it....

 

 

Sorry to hear this PBH.  You're really up and down from one day to the next.  I don't know about the test you are talking about.  Maybe go on the K support thread or the V support thread and ask.  You'll make it.  Keep focusing on the future.  This is the bottom and it won't last.

 

SG ... What do you do when you feel like you made the biggest mistake in your life by reinstating and this drug makes you feel paradoxical..... What do you do? you can't just stop it now.... don't want to introduce another chemical into the mix either.....do I just keep doing this?

 

Don't want to tell my primary for fear he'll just force something else on me to make it worse....he kind of tried that already with gabapentin..,. That drug almost killed me from one dose from a year ago when I tried a detox place!  I couldn't lift my head up no matter how hard I tried I was literally lifeless.....

 

I could tell my functional medicine doctor... maybe she'll have ideas..,... I don't know what to do...

 

This kolonopin is horrible on it and trying to come off it.... I know if I was on a much lower dose to begin with I am sure I would have fared much much better.... Can't change that now.......

 

I've had adrenaline surges for 15 months now ( before taking this) that I believe are extremely harmful to the body... And you know all the other stuff....

 

I think reading the stories on here ( by accident not actively searching) of people saying they cannot get off of this k directly at all scares me so much and everyone's suffering........I don't understand why they can't unless they are a severe ct case like me or something....... what did I do?   

 

now my eyesight is all messed up... Choppy... Not fluid... all of this is mentally and physically killing me...

 

I'm sorry I'm just trying to see what else I can do..... :'(

 

I forgot to say that this k doesn't take away my anxiety... It actually gives it to me...vivid nightmares.... It just slows down my brain..but physically it races my body..... I actually needed the opposite.... doesn't help my face.... Muscle burning bone pain......agoraphobia...depression... Not that I would go in public anyway in my condition because I can't..... I don't know SG..... I cry every single day that my heart actually hurts.... :'(

 

Afraid of anything negative....

 

Fwiw... You keep me going...  :'(

 

 

[[...]]

 

Sorry to hear this PBH.  You're really up and down from one day to the next.  I don't know about the test you are talking about.  Maybe go on the K support thread or the V support thread and ask.  You'll make it.  Keep focusing on the future.  This is the bottom and it won't last.

 

SG ... What do you do when you feel like you made the biggest mistake in your life by reinstating and this drug makes you feel paradoxical..... What do you do? you can't just stop it now.... don't want to introduce another chemical into the mix either.....do I just keep doing this?

 

Don't want to tell my primary for fear he'll just force something else on me to make it worse....he kind of tried that already with gabapentin..,. That drug almost killed me from one dose from a year ago when I tried a detox place!  I couldn't lift my head up no matter how hard I tried I was literally lifeless.....

 

I could tell my functional medicine doctor... maybe she'll have ideas..,... I don't know what to do...

 

This kolonopin is horrible on it and trying to come off it.... I know if I was on a much lower dose to begin with I am sure I would have fared much much better.... Can't change that now.......

 

I've had adrenaline surges for 15 months now ( before taking this) that I believe are extremely harmful to the body... And you know all the other stuff....

 

I think reading the stories on here ( by accident not actively searching) of people saying they cannot get off of this k directly at all scares me so much and everyone's suffering........I don't understand why they can't unless they are a severe ct case like me or something....... what did I do?   

 

now my eyesight is all messed up... Choppy... Not fluid... all of this is mentally and physically killing me...

 

I'm sorry I'm just trying to see what else I can do..... :'(

 

I forgot to say that this k doesn't take away my anxiety... It actually gives it to me...vivid nightmares.... It just slows down my brain..but physically it races my body..... I actually needed the opposite.... doesn't help my face.... Muscle burning bone pain......agoraphobia...depression... Not that I would go in public anyway in my condition because I can't..... I don't know SG..... I cry every single day that my heart actually hurts.... :'(

 

Afraid of anything negative....

 

Fwiw... You keep me going...  :'(

 

In general, K is fine.  I'm sure any benzo can be a problem for specific people, but otherwise they are pretty much the same.  K does come in difficult pill sizes for tapering, but you have liquified it so that problem goes away.

 

I think what you are doing is the best thing to do...remove it slowly without accepting symptom increases.  Or you could stop tapering and hold.  You could go even higher in dose, but given the way you reacted to 1mg I would not want to risk it.  I don't know what other options there are...you just need time.

 

I have been encouraged by your better periods that have occurred, but these lapses back to baseline are hard to accept after a good day, I know.  Whenever I'm in a bad period I remind myself that it never lasts and that a good period will follow it.  In the meantime I accept the symptoms and sit with them, ignore them, and distract from them.  I also allow myself to curse freely, lol.

[[Pl...]]

 

Sorry to hear this PBH.  You're really up and down from one day to the next.  I don't know about the test you are talking about.  Maybe go on the K support thread or the V support thread and ask.  You'll make it.  Keep focusing on the future.  This is the bottom and it won't last.

 

SG ... What do you do when you feel like you made the biggest mistake in your life by reinstating and this drug makes you feel paradoxical..... What do you do? you can't just stop it now.... don't want to introduce another chemical into the mix either.....do I just keep doing this?

 

Don't want to tell my primary for fear he'll just force something else on me to make it worse....he kind of tried that already with gabapentin..,. That drug almost killed me from one dose from a year ago when I tried a detox place!  I couldn't lift my head up no matter how hard I tried I was literally lifeless.....

 

I could tell my functional medicine doctor... maybe she'll have ideas..,... I don't know what to do...

 

This kolonopin is horrible on it and trying to come off it.... I know if I was on a much lower dose to begin with I am sure I would have fared much much better.... Can't change that now.......

 

I've had adrenaline surges for 15 months now ( before taking this) that I believe are extremely harmful to the body... And you know all the other stuff....

 

I think reading the stories on here ( by accident not actively searching) of people saying they cannot get off of this k directly at all scares me so much and everyone's suffering........I don't understand why they can't unless they are a severe ct case like me or something....... what did I do?   

 

now my eyesight is all messed up... Choppy... Not fluid... all of this is mentally and physically killing me...

 

I'm sorry I'm just trying to see what else I can do..... :'(

 

I forgot to say that this k doesn't take away my anxiety... It actually gives it to me...vivid nightmares.... It just slows down my brain..but physically it races my body..... I actually needed the opposite.... doesn't help my face.... Muscle burning bone pain......agoraphobia...depression... Not that I would go in public anyway in my condition because I can't..... I don't know SG..... I cry every single day that my heart actually hurts.... :'(

 

Afraid of anything negative....

 

Fwiw... You keep me going...  :'(

 

In general, K is fine.  I'm sure any benzo can be a problem for specific people, but otherwise they are pretty much the same.  K does come in difficult pill sizes for tapering, but you have liquified it so that problem goes away.

 

I think what you are doing is the best thing to do...remove it slowly without accepting symptom increases.  Or you could stop tapering and hold.  You could go even higher in dose, but given the way you reacted to 1mg I would not want to risk it.  I don't know what other options there are...you just need time.

 

I have been encouraged by your better periods that have occurred, but these lapses back to baseline are hard to accept after a good day, I know.  Whenever I'm in a bad period I remind myself that it never lasts and that a good period will follow it.  In the meantime I accept the symptoms and sit with them, ignore them, and distract from them.  I also allow myself to curse freely, lol.

 

Thank you for your heartfelt response very much...

 

    I wanted to let you know what I've been doing this past week... Mentally i feel so much better when I know I'm reducing something no matter how small ; so the past few days I've been inching my way up ... One day I do 5.09..then 5.12 ..then 5.15ml... Just like 2 to 3 line increments.....so far its been okay.... The amounts are so small to me its kind of like I'm holding but I'm not.... Then after doing this for I don't know how long I will do the .06 pulls everyday....which is the 2 percent over 30 days.... I think i need to go this slow to see what my body does....

 

My theory is if I do it this slow it may actually give my brain more of a chance to maybe stabilize because its still small even though I'm still cutting and then my hope is I'll be able to graduate to a higher amount.....does this make sense or have I totally lost all my reasoning capabilities?

[[...]]

Thank you for your heartfelt response very much...

 

    I wanted to let you know what I've been doing this past week... Mentally i feel so much better when I know I'm reducing something no matter how small ; so the past few days I've been inching my way up ... One day I do 5.09..then 5.12 ..then 5.15ml... Just like 2 to 3 line increments.....so far its been okay.... The amounts are so small to me its kind of like I'm holding but I'm not.... Then after doing this for I don't know how long I will do the .06 pulls everyday....which is the 2 percent over 30 days.... I think i need to go this slow to see what my body does....

 

My theory is if I do it this slow it may actually give my brain more of a chance to maybe stabilize because its still small even though I'm still cutting and then my hope is I'll be able to graduate to a higher amount.....does this make sense or have I totally lost all my reasoning capabilities?

 

I think that is a really good idea.  You are moving down so you get a psychological benefit yet it is also so small so as to not stress things and is basically a hold.  I like it.  Establish a cut you know works, then move up from there.

[[Pl...]]

Thank you for your heartfelt response very much...

 

    I wanted to let you know what I've been doing this past week... Mentally i feel so much better when I know I'm reducing something no matter how small ; so the past few days I've been inching my way up ... One day I do 5.09..then 5.12 ..then 5.15ml... Just like 2 to 3 line increments.....so far its been okay.... The amounts are so small to me its kind of like I'm holding but I'm not.... Then after doing this for I don't know how long I will do the .06 pulls everyday....which is the 2 percent over 30 days.... I think i need to go this slow to see what my body does....

 

My theory is if I do it this slow it may actually give my brain more of a chance to maybe stabilize because its still small even though I'm still cutting and then my hope is I'll be able to graduate to a higher amount.....does this make sense or have I totally lost all my reasoning capabilities?

 

I think that is a really good idea.  You are moving down so you get a psychological benefit yet it is also so small so as to not stress things and is basically a hold.  I like it.  Establish a cut you know works, then move up from there.

 

Thank you Sg for your response....... I wanted to share something with you that I just found out....I am a poor metabolizer of all benzodiazepines which in the report stated something to the effect of unusual serum levels and adverse reactions and efficacy of medication.,,,

 

I wonder if that's why these drugs no matter how small the amount would hit me so hard and i feel so drugged?    Im looking at poor metabolism meaning too much building up and not being expelled as more is being taken in?.

 

. i know you are not a doctor but if that is the case I don't know how to proceed... in your experience on this board have you seen this before and if there was anything they could do to correct it?    Just looking at other angles and insights and I know you've seen so many different experiences on here...

 

I have to speak to her about it..... Got results thru email ....

 

Thank you so much for always giving me your opinion... It's so highly valued by so many...

[[...]]

Thank you Sg for your response....... I wanted to share something with you that I just found out....I am a poor metabolizer of all benzodiazepines which in the report stated something to the effect of unusual serum levels and adverse reactions and efficacy of medication.,,,

 

I wonder if that's why these drugs no matter how small the amount would hit me so hard and i feel so drugged?    Im looking at poor metabolism meaning too much building up and not being expelled as more is being taken in?.

 

. i know you are not a doctor but if that is the case I don't know how to proceed... in your experience on this board have you seen this before and if there was anything they could do to correct it?    Just looking at other angles and insights and I know you've seen so many different experiences on here...

 

I have to speak to her about it..... Got results thru email ....

 

Thank you so much for always giving me your opinion... It's so highly valued by so many...

 

I'd assume that means you metabolize them unusually slowly?  I'd think that amounts to your internal level being higher.  But how much higher?  So instead of being on 1mg it's like you are on some higher dose.  But I don't see how that changes anything really, or if there is anything that can be done about it.

 

How have symptoms been?

[[Pl...]]

SG.... It's been long time no speak...sorry for not responding quicker... ...I've been posting in other areas trying to get some support/ ideas...and even trying to stay off the forum for at least a few days.... I'm not doing well....

 

I feel this drug is just toxic and poisonous to me and there is no way I could ever stabilize on it or any other kind either....how could I ever taper when I already feel so sick? It has an absolute terrible effect on me...I'm in absolute terror...I feel as though I'm dying..... This is mentally and physically killing me....

 

I don't know what to do... I feel so trapped.....  Please please do you have any suggestions? I just can't do this anymore.....

[[...]]

SG.... It's been long time no speak...sorry for not responding quicker... ...I've been posting in other areas trying to get some support/ ideas...and even trying to stay off the forum for at least a few days.... I'm not doing well....

 

I feel this drug is just toxic and poisonous to me and there is no way I could ever stabilize on it or any other kind either....how could I ever taper when I already feel so sick? It has an absolute terrible effect on me...I'm in absolute terror...I feel as though I'm dying..... This is mentally and physically killing me....

 

I don't know what to do... I feel so trapped.....  Please please do you have any suggestions? I just can't do this anymore.....

 

Sorry to hear that PBH.  I wish we could get them to reduce somehow...to get them to a manageable point and go from there.  I don't know what to tell you other than to hold.  Have you had any of those good periods you were getting?

[[Pl...]]

SG.... It's been long time no speak...sorry for not responding quicker... ...I've been posting in other areas trying to get some support/ ideas...and even trying to stay off the forum for at least a few days.... I'm not doing well....

 

I feel this drug is just toxic and poisonous to me and there is no way I could ever stabilize on it or any other kind either....how could I ever taper when I already feel so sick? It has an absolute terrible effect on me...I'm in absolute terror...I feel as though I'm dying..... This is mentally and physically killing me....

 

I don't know what to do... I feel so trapped.....  Please please do you have any suggestions? I just can't do this anymore.....

 

Sorry to hear that PBH.  I wish we could get them to reduce somehow...to get them to a manageable point and go from there.  I don't know what to tell you other than to hold.  Have you had any of those good periods you were getting?

 

SG... I am so unbelievably sick...... I'm scared to go to the emergency room or even call an ambulance but it might come to that......

 

I have the flu severely  on top of monthly cycle....non stop coughing muscle burning and nerve pain .... Uncontrollable body movements from my face to my whole body....severe vibrating tremors.... Fatigue walking issues shortness of breath....K is making me feel so sick....

 

please tell me what do I do if I have to go to the ER and I'm admitted there and I'm liquid titrating from milk? how do I handle that part?  I desperately want to cold turkey this drug is making me so sick.... I'm so terrified.... Please any suggestions.... I'm not gonna make it...

 

 

[[...]]

Sorry to hear that PBH.  I wish we could get them to reduce somehow...to get them to a manageable point and go from there.  I don't know what to tell you other than to hold.  Have you had any of those good periods you were getting?

SG... I am so unbelievably sick...... I'm scared to go to the emergency room or even call an ambulance but it might come to that......

 

I have the flu severely  on top of monthly cycle....non stop coughing muscle burning and nerve pain .... Uncontrollable body movements from my face to my whole body....severe vibrating tremors.... Fatigue walking issues shortness of breath....K is making me feel so sick....

 

please tell me what do I do if I have to go to the ER and I'm admitted there and I'm liquid titrating from milk? how do I handle that part?  I desperately want to cold turkey this drug is making me so sick.... I'm so terrified.... Please any suggestions.... I'm not gonna make it...

 

Hang in there, PBH.  It sounds awful.  You can try to explain the liquid to them.  Your dose is still near 1mg so as a Plan B I'd say you can go back to a 1mg pill if you need to.  Maybe others have experienced being admitted while tapering and can help.

[[Pl...]]

Sorry to hear that PBH.  I wish we could get them to reduce somehow...to get them to a manageable point and go from there.  I don't know what to tell you other than to hold.  Have you had any of those good periods you were getting?

SG... I am so unbelievably sick...... I'm scared to go to the emergency room or even call an ambulance but it might come to that......

 

I have the flu severely  on top of monthly cycle....non stop coughing muscle burning and nerve pain .... Uncontrollable body movements from my face to my whole body....severe vibrating tremors.... Fatigue walking issues shortness of breath....K is making me feel so sick....

 

please tell me what do I do if I have to go to the ER and I'm admitted there and I'm liquid titrating from milk? how do I handle that part?  I desperately want to cold turkey this drug is making me so sick.... I'm so terrified.... Please any suggestions.... I'm not gonna make it...

 

Hang in there, PBH.  It sounds awful.  You can try to explain the liquid to them.  Your dose is still near 1mg so as a Plan B I'd say you can go back to a 1mg pill if you need to.  Maybe others have experienced being admitted while tapering and can help.

 

Sg... Thank you.... I definitely don't want to do that I worked so hard just to get to .94 mg.... And that was a struggle....... Hopefully someone can chime in too.. Thank you

 

The drug is also too sedating .... I'm desperate to go down... Can't take it......  I am  very cognitively  impaired from it.....

 

Just want to double check with you

 

1)  if I did .05 ml increments in 30 days would that being me to 1.50 percent?  Roughly down from 94 mg to 92.50 mg?

 

2)  And if I did .06 ml in 30 days (meaning pulling an additional .06 every day) would that bring me down to 1.80 percent roughly being that I would drop down from 94 mg to 92 mg?

 

I haven't figured this out yet .... But I may be one of those people that feels better as they taper down it just has to be like a snail at first.., I don't know ... Holding right now..... This drug does absolutely nothing for anxiety but causes it for me....everything in my body feels really fast and so much adrenaline but I'm too weak to burn it out... It's very pronounced in my legs/..... This is pure hell..... I don't know how that could get better by holding....the symptoms increase the anxiety too....

 

I'm going to go on the long hold and ask them too...

 

How do you taper if paradoxical? thinking out loud...

 

Thank you SG...to answer your question previously I have only minutes where temporary partial liftings exist...sometimes a little more with an increase between 10 to 15 percent feeling better....

 

Feeling you drank a bottle of vodka everyday is a horrible feeling and I've never done that... Just saying... I'm not a drinker... I hate alcohol....not to mention I have very physical symptoms too...

 

Convinced I have td.... How? I never took anything that could cause that except for visteral an antihistamine for 5 days? I can't live with this.....disfiguring.... Ill never get better...

 

I am convinced I am the worse person on this forum......convinced... No hope.... Just a splitting thread holding me.... :'(

 

Thank you for listening answering and patience to listen to my garbage....

[[...]]

Hang in there, PBH.  It sounds awful.  You can try to explain the liquid to them.  Your dose is still near 1mg so as a Plan B I'd say you can go back to a 1mg pill if you need to.  Maybe others have experienced being admitted while tapering and can help.

Sg... Thank you.... I definitely don't want to do that I worked so hard just to get to .94 mg.... And that was a struggle....... Hopefully someone can chime in too.. Thank you

 

The drug is also too sedating .... I'm desperate to go down... Can't take it......  I am  very cognitively  impaired from it.....

 

Just want to double check with you

 

1)  if I did .05 ml increments in 30 days would that being me to 1.50 percent?  Roughly down from 94 mg to 92.50 mg?

 

2)  And if I did .06 ml in 30 days (meaning pulling an additional .06 every day) would that bring me down to 1.80 percent roughly being that I would drop down from 94 mg to 92 mg?

 

I haven't figured this out yet .... But I may be one of those people that feels better as they taper down it just has to be like a snail at first.., I don't know ... Holding right now..... This drug does absolutely nothing for anxiety but causes it for me....everything in my body feels really fast and so much adrenaline but I'm too weak to burn it out... It's very pronounced in my legs/..... This is pure hell..... I don't know how that could get better by holding....the symptoms increase the anxiety too....

 

I'm going to go on the long hold and ask them too...

 

How do you taper if paradoxical? thinking out loud...

 

Thank you SG...to answer your question previously I have only minutes where temporary partial liftings exist...sometimes a little more with an increase between 10 to 15 percent feeling better....

 

Feeling you drank a bottle of vodka everyday is a horrible feeling and I've never done that... Just saying... I'm not a drinker... I hate alcohol....not to mention I have very physical symptoms too...

 

Convinced I have td.... How? I never took anything that could cause that except for visteral an antihistamine for 5 days? I can't live with this.....disfiguring.... Ill never get better...

 

I am convinced I am the worse person on this forum......convinced... No hope.... Just a splitting thread holding me.... :'(

 

Thank you for listening answering and patience to listen to my garbage....

 

1.  Your liquid is .01mg/ml?  Yes, .05ml a day would be 1.6% for the month.

 

2.  Yes, .06ml a day would be 1.9% for the month.

 

Don't lose hope PBH, you'll get a break at some point.  I don't know what to do since you seem paradoxical, yet dependent too.  The thinking would be an updose may make things worse.  But we don't know that is true.  Your reinstatement to 1mg K did improve things for you somewhat.

 

A thing you could do is test.  You could try a one-time big-ish rescue dose and see what happens.  See if it makes a positive difference.  This might give you a clue as to how you would respond to an updose.  Kind of a shot in the dark.

 

Another test you could do, since you seem paradoxical, is try a test cut...like perhaps 5%...and see how you respond.  But in your condition this might not be the time.

[[Pl...]]

Hang in there, PBH.  It sounds awful.  You can try to explain the liquid to them.  Your dose is still near 1mg so as a Plan B I'd say you can go back to a 1mg pill if you need to.  Maybe others have experienced being admitted while tapering and can help.

Sg... Thank you.... I definitely don't want to do that I worked so hard just to get to .94 mg.... And that was a struggle....... Hopefully someone can chime in too.. Thank you

 

The drug is also too sedating .... I'm desperate to go down... Can't take it......  I am  very cognitively  impaired from it.....

 

Just want to double check with you

 

1)  if I did .05 ml increments in 30 days would that being me to 1.50 percent?  Roughly down from 94 mg to 92.50 mg?

 

2)  And if I did .06 ml in 30 days (meaning pulling an additional .06 every day) would that bring me down to 1.80 percent roughly being that I would drop down from 94 mg to 92 mg?

 

I haven't figured this out yet .... But I may be one of those people that feels better as they taper down it just has to be like a snail at first.., I don't know ... Holding right now..... This drug does absolutely nothing for anxiety but causes it for me....everything in my body feels really fast and so much adrenaline but I'm too weak to burn it out... It's very pronounced in my legs/..... This is pure hell..... I don't know how that could get better by holding....the symptoms increase the anxiety too....

 

I'm going to go on the long hold and ask them too...

 

How do you taper if paradoxical? thinking out loud...

 

Thank you SG...to answer your question previously I have only minutes where temporary partial liftings exist...sometimes a little more with an increase between 10 to 15 percent feeling better....

 

Feeling you drank a bottle of vodka everyday is a horrible feeling and I've never done that... Just saying... I'm not a drinker... I hate alcohol....not to mention I have very physical symptoms too...

 

Convinced I have td.... How? I never took anything that could cause that except for visteral an antihistamine for 5 days? I can't live with this.....disfiguring.... Ill never get better...

 

I am convinced I am the worse person on this forum......convinced... No hope.... Just a splitting thread holding me.... :'(

 

Thank you for listening answering and patience to listen to my garbage....

 

1.  Your liquid is .01mg/ml?  Yes, .05ml a day would be 1.6% for the month.

 

2.  Yes, .06ml a day would be 1.9% for the month.

 

Don't lose hope PBH, you'll get a break at some point.  I don't know what to do since you seem paradoxical, yet dependent too.  The thinking would be an updose may make things worse.  But we don't know that is true.  Your reinstatement to 1mg K did improve things for you somewhat.

 

A thing you could do is test.  You could try a one-time big-ish rescue dose and see what happens.  See if it makes a positive difference.  This might give you a clue as to how you would respond to an updose.  Kind of a shot in the dark.

 

Another test you could do, since you seem paradoxical, is try a test cut...like perhaps 5%...and see how you respond.  But in your condition this might not be the time.

 

Thanks SG... yes I did an up dose once and it was a disaster.... I guess I'm just going to keep going slow for awhile just to keep feeling the waters....

 

1) And answer to your question back to me is I am using (2) .50 mg pills in 100 ml milk so I guess the calculations you stated back to me are right?...

 

okay 1 more question for now.

 

.. 2) you do a reduction to test it do you only do it for that one day and then wait about 3 to 4 days to see how you react to continue?

 

3) Or do you keep reducing at that rate for a few days then stop and wait for awhile to see what happens?  Want to make sure I'm doing that right....

 

Thank you...((((.  )))

 

okay... just thought of another one....even if I went up again wouldn't it just make me more sedated than I am now ?( there's no way I would even try it) but just wondering......

[[...]]

1.  Your liquid is .01mg/ml?  Yes, .05ml a day would be 1.6% for the month.

 

2.  Yes, .06ml a day would be 1.9% for the month.

 

Don't lose hope PBH, you'll get a break at some point.  I don't know what to do since you seem paradoxical, yet dependent too.  The thinking would be an updose may make things worse.  But we don't know that is true.  Your reinstatement to 1mg K did improve things for you somewhat.

 

A thing you could do is test.  You could try a one-time big-ish rescue dose and see what happens.  See if it makes a positive difference.  This might give you a clue as to how you would respond to an updose.  Kind of a shot in the dark.

 

Another test you could do, since you seem paradoxical, is try a test cut...like perhaps 5%...and see how you respond.  But in your condition this might not be the time.

Thanks SG... yes I did an up dose once and it was a disaster.... I guess I'm just going to keep going slow for awhile just to keep feeling the waters....

 

1) And answer to your question back to me is I am using (2) .50 mg pills in 100 ml milk so I guess the calculations you stated back to me are right?...

 

okay 1 more question for now.

 

.. 2) you do a reduction to test it do you only do it for that one day and then wait about 3 to 4 days to see how you react to continue?

 

3) Or do you keep reducing at that rate for a few days then stop and wait for awhile to see what happens?  Want to make sure I'm doing that right....

 

Thank you...((((.  )))

 

okay... just thought of another one....even if I went up again wouldn't it just make me more sedated than I am now ?( there's no way I would even try it) but just wondering......

 

We don't know what is going on that makes people paradoxical so I would not conclude anything for certain.  We want to make your symptoms tolerable.

 

1.  Yes, 1mg into 100ml is a .01mg/ml liquid, which is what I thought.

 

2, 3.  I was thinking of cutting and waiting to see how you react.  If it was bad you'd go back up; if good, you'd stay there.  But it sounds like you are really hurting so I would be very hesitant to try this.

[[Pl...]]

Okay... But if I did cut do you only do it for that one day at that rate and then wait to see a few days later what it does? That's the part I'm confused about.... Like for example do I do lets say a .06 ml reduction just for one day .....do not do an additional .06 for the next few days and see how I react... Is that how it works?

 

Then if its okay you keep doing the additional .06 mls each day?

[[...]]

Okay... But if I did cut do you only do it for that one day at that rate and then wait to see a few days later what it does? That's the part I'm confused about.... Like for example do I do lets say a .06 ml reduction just for one day .....do not do an additional .06 for the next few days and see how I react... Is that how it works?

 

Then if its okay you keep doing the additional .06 mls each day?

 

I was thinking of removing 5% as a test to see what happens.  One big 5% cut.  Then wait.  But like I said, in your condition this is probably not the time to try this.

[[Pl...]]

Okay... But if I did cut do you only do it for that one day at that rate and then wait to see a few days later what it does? That's the part I'm confused about.... Like for example do I do lets say a .06 ml reduction just for one day .....do not do an additional .06 for the next few days and see how I react... Is that how it works?

 

Then if its okay you keep doing the additional .06 mls each day?

 

I was thinking of removing 5% as a test to see what happens.  One big 5% cut.  Then wait.  But like I said, in your condition this is probably not the time to try this.

 

Yes SG I think you're right..... When I first started reducing I did the 5 percent reduction over 6 weeks and looking back now it was absolutely brutal...compared to this past month at like 1 percent..... I see the difference now...

 

By the way when you say one big 5 percent cut do you mean in one day?  Because I'm liquid titrating every day slowly reducing... Stupid question from me I know;... Brain is mush... 

 

My family thinks my physical symptoms after reinstating have improved alot.... Of course because they don't feel what I feel its always bad to me.... Now my involuntary movement stuff is more episodic as opposed to what they were.... But the caveat is it morphed and its more intense....

 

I guess I will just hold just for a few whatever it is and see what happens

[[Pl...]]

SG.... I'm really scared...... I was thinking of switching back to pills.... I got extremely ill when I switched to the milk but I was so symptomatic already and out of it I just couldn't tell what was going on with me....but the milk made it worse... That I know...

 

1)What is your experience with people tapering from kolonopin on here with liquid?

2)Or do you see mostly people tapering with pills?

3) Is it possible to be accurate with pills doing a dry micro daily taper and scale?

4) if I go back to pills will I just upset the symptoms more as another transition?

 

I'm wondering if being so symptomatic from the beginning skewed my ability to notice the milk wasnt working all this time..... I don't know....

 

All I know is something is really wrong and I feel like I'm dying.... I'm not getting any relief .... Grant it right now I have the flu , woman's time of the month, but this is more then I can bear for way too long...what a nightmare this is...... I know most people with my symptoms would have offed themselves.... But I want to live....

 

Maybe I'm just having a 100 percent adverse reaction and I'm dying and I don't even know it and this pill is killing me.... I have the most weirdest bizarre symptoms I've seen on here....either that or no one talks about it

 

Anything you could provide by way of insight will help me so much...... Thank you  :'(

[[...]]

Pleasebehere  -  I just read several of your posts going back a week or so.  You are having a tough time and I believe I understand what you are facing.  I wish I could help you...

 

Hold on.  This will pass and things will get better.  Your body wants to be better. 

 

You asked a question about pills, dry micro taper, scale.  Yes yes yes!  It is so possible.  I used the scale and did a lengthy dry micro taper.  I weighed and measured, and I found a daily micro taper, cutting a microscopic amount, worked best for me.  My docs and family were shocked as I neared the end of the taper and they saw the tiny amounts I would take every day.  I don't think anyone believed a grain of sand could have such an impact on my brain.  I knew better, as do you.

 

If you need help trying a dry micro taper, people here will be so happy to help you. 

 

You ask:  If you go back to pills, will you "... upset the symptoms more as another transition?"  I think I understand that question...  All I can say is this:  run the experiment.  Don't be afraid to try it.  If it doesn't work, try something else.

 

You have a lot of non w/d symptoms mucking up the works.  Recognize you are in a challenging place, breathe, distract yourself with a walk or a phone call, a movie, something that takes your mind elsewhere, and know that things will get better.  They will simply get better.

 

jgr2

[[Pl...]]

Pleasebehere  -  I just read several of your posts going back a week or so.  You are having a tough time and I believe I understand what you are facing.  I wish I could help you...

 

Hold on.  This will pass and things will get better.  Your body wants to be better. 

 

You asked a question about pills, dry micro taper, scale.  Yes yes yes!  It is so possible.  I used the scale and did a lengthy dry micro taper.  I weighed and measured, and I found a daily micro taper, cutting a microscopic amount, worked best for me.  My docs and family were shocked as I neared the end of the taper and they saw the tiny amounts I would take every day.  I don't think anyone believed a grain of sand could have such an impact on my brain.  I knew better, as do you.

 

If you need help trying a dry micro taper, people here will be so happy to help you. 

 

You ask:  If you go back to pills, will you "... upset the symptoms more as another transition?"  I think I understand that question...  All I can say is this:  run the experiment.  Don't be afraid to try it.  If it doesn't work, try something else.

 

You have a lot of non w/d symptoms mucking up the works.  Recognize you are in a challenging place, breathe, distract yourself with a walk or a phone call, a movie, something that takes your mind elsewhere, and know that things will get better.  They will simply get better.

 

jgr2

Thank you so much jgr2..I need all the encouragement possible....I can't do this anymore... :'(..didnt have a chance to see your signature.... Did you taper from kolonopin too? What kind of scale do I buy and from where? I'm at least going to try it.... I have to do something..... I can't go on like this...the most accurate scale possible would be ideal.... I have no idea how to do this.... I so much wanted the liquid to work....

 

I will also post on the kolonopin Klub thread too....

SG I still welcome your input....trying to save my life :'(

[[...]]

I am a dry cutter and it works for me nicely.

 

I use a pill crusher and gently crush - GENTLY  - several pills, one or two at a time.  I keep the crushed particles in a separate pill bottle and weigh out the pieces as I weigh and bag up each and every dose.  Don't crush to powder!  Just crush enough to break the pills to pieces that you can pick up easily with tweezers.

 

I like my scale  -  Horizon Pro-20A.  It is not perfect, but with a gentle touch and some patience, it weighs accurately enough to make me feel secure.  I am careful not to breath on it, bump it, wave a piece of paper near it - it is that sensitive.  I am also happy as long as the measurement is in the ballpark of the target.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Horizon-PRO-20A-Digital-Jewelry-0-001g/dp/B005Y5LAOG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1439747517&sr=8-1&keywords=Horizon+Pro-20A

 

Moving between mg and gram weight measurements can be confusing.  It took me a while to get it right, and I now have everything carefully logged and spelled out so I don't go off track.  If you want to see a blank page from my log, let me know and I will post it or send it your way electronically.  I wrote down every dose. It was reassuring to watch those numbers going down!

 

For clarification:

 

.5 mg klonopin  =  .175 gram weight on the scale 

.25 mg  klonopin  =  .88 gram weight on the scale

.125 mg klonopin =  .44 gram weight on the scale

 

.125 mg is a quarter of one .5mg klonopin tablet.

 

I purchased medication dose bags at CVS or Amazon.

 

https://www.amazon.com/Ezy-Dose-Disposable-Pill-Pouches/dp/B001FVG5QQ

 

 

Pill crusher, dose bags, scale  -  and a small calculator.  That will get you started.

 

I am happy to answer any questions, any time.

jgr2