Name something you want to do when off and healed.

[[Mu...]]

I want to run again. And spend tons of quality time with my husband and children. Maybe go to the beach. Just live a super peaceful life.

[[be...]]

Just got back from a 10-day vacation to St. Barth's.......again. Next time it will be Kenya. I want to climb Mt. Kenya.

[[re...]]

Volunteer/help others

[[be...]]

Volunteer/help others

 

Good idea! I do that now....a lot.

[[Yo...]]

I'm on Season 9 of Bob Ross's Joy of Painting series, and when I feel up to it, I think I'll be ready to paint a land or seascape that could be sold at a "starving artist" sale. He makes it look so easy!

[[id...]]

Drive freeways and be able to go wherever I want. Take my son to the places he's asking me to go.

Travel!

[[wa...]]

Sleep 10 hours straight

[[Es...]]

Kick out all the toxic ppl from my life. Either real or virtual entities. Never again give a f**k about covert or open aggression. Well, I'm probably halfway there. Able to recognize all signs of cyberbullying. However subtle.

______________________________________________________________________

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." [soren Kierkegaard]

"Do not dwell on the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." [buddha]

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[[be...]]

Kick out all the toxic ppl from my life. Either real or virtual entities. Never again give a f**k about covert or open aggression. Well, I'm probably halfway there. Able to recognize all signs of cyberbullying. However subtle.

______________________________________________________________________

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." [soren Kierkegaard]

"Do not dwell on the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." [buddha]

width=420 height=89https://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;54;93/st/20160228/e/last+damn+Ambien+pill/dt/6/k/5848/event.png[/img]

 

:thumbsup:   Same here.

[[Es...]]

It's difficult, Bets. Ppl detect one's vulnerability and prey on it. Oversensitive individuals usually attract abusers. They're even drawn to them.

 

We don't have to like everyone. And everyone doesn't have to like us. We only have to respect each other. But abuse is different. The abuser actually pretends they like you. In the initial phase.

 

I don't understand hostile ppl. I don't understand ppl who come here to let out their frustration with life on others. I met very few BBs like that. Most BBs are wonderful folk. But I feel I'm not into talking about my private life on the forum anymore. Cause of those few abusers whom I may unconsciously attract. I may post songs, jokes, quotes etc. Nothing more.

 

Reporting an event as "cyberbulling" to Mods often doesn't make sense. Mods don't know the whole situation. We just have to accept those abusive ppl as very sick and stay away from them.

 

Another sleepless night ahead of me... 22.25 p.m. CET here. Set my CET clock on the profile, but don't know if it works.

______________________________________________________________________

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." [soren Kierkegaard]

"Do not dwell on the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." [buddha]

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[[be...]]

Estee:

 

One more sleepless night for you. :'( I get that post. I am really not very vulnerable right now (or so I think) but I am sensitive. I am normally not like that. I think this very long taper has gotten to me and I am just plain tired. Most of my friends don't know about this as I'm sure they would avoid me or think I am some sort of nut case. My family knows and they could care less. "It's my fault." It's my AA friends who know about this as they get it while most don't understand benzos. I'm tired of explaining this so I just keep my mouth shut. I am not having much difficulty but I am worn out. I suppose I should be grateful that I am not bad off like many others here. But time is time and it sure has been a long time. I even refuse to date not because I don't want to go through that whole process just to end up telling that person what is happening in my life. I have also learned to avoid a few select members here. They are toxic to me and thus toxic to my taper and healing.

 

Bets

[[gi...]]

To sit down to dinner with others and not worry how I'm gonna get through it.

[[Rh...]]

To actually feel joy, peace and health with my kids and husband!

[[Es...]]

Improve my time management skills. Already started, but I’m plodding along.

[[Ju...]]

I have very simple wants:  to go for a walk in my neighborhood every clear day without worrying about falling from poor balance, and to sleep straight through nine hours at night (I need a lot of sleep).

 

 

[[Rx...]]

I fantasized burning my bathrobes I lived in for months in the fireplace ceremoniously, but when I started feeling better, I just donated them instead.

[[be...]]

That sounds good to me Rx....

[[Ma...]]

make a lot of money and then create a project, a home for people like us, to live for some difficult years

[[...]]

Just enjoy in serenity the perfect landscapes of the french vexin and see how much inner peace I have

[[Ma...]]

My husband and I had been planning a trip to London until all this happened.  I am really hoping I heal and we get to go.

Then when home, not only helping on bb community but at the food bank.  It's hard to sober up if you're hungry.

[[gi...]]

Not work from home, and go to the office daily.

[[ce...]]

Be able to use my body..to be able to walk, sleep, cook, clean house,  just normal stuff really

[[Ba...]]

When I am healed I want to go back to my previous life exactly as I left it. I had the most perfect life other than the insomnia. Looking back now it wasn’t even a big deal compared to the misery and agony this poison has put me and my family through. I still enjoyed my family and hobbies as well as going to work every day. I now have zero interest in my hobbies and dread every second at work. I am currently in a deep depression as I type this. I NEVER felt depression in my life before benzos. Nor have I ever felt anxiety. NEVER!!!! 19 months out and still waiting for my life to return. This poison we call benzos is really a neurotoxin. Can’t wait to read abt. All of you on the other side someday.

[[Es...]]

Yeah, I hear you, Badben. My life was great before the benzo poison, too. I want to earn lots of money once I’m recovered. Working from home and doing what I love. I don’t need to work outside of home anymore. All those ppl were interesting, but tiresome. I want to concentrate on my work only. Meet ppl with whom I have sth in common. Like recovery from mind-altering substances. Striving towards a sober life based on spiritual principles.

[[Aj...]]

All I have wanted for almost 22 years is to be well enough to work. People moan about working but being too unwell to from the age of 28 is hell.

I would also like to be well enough to concentrate enough to write some of the stories I have collected ideas for over the years.