3,2,1: Under 3 mg Valium people

[[ch...]]

Valiumnomore, can I ask how you're feeling since holding ?. I'm just around 0.35 Valium but it;s getting rough the last few weeks, after a 6 week window when I thought I was done.

[[va...]]

Valiumnomore, can I ask how you're feeling since holding ?. I'm just around 0.35 Valium but it;s getting rough the last few weeks, after a 6 week window when I thought I was done.

 

Chenka if you ask me today I'm feeling horrible. Bad waves in general and some ok days but realize I'm not an example because I had a very bad crash and two months in acute last summer. At this point you're at, I'd do like begood and go extra slow. Why risk it at the end. Sneaky drug it is.

[[Ha...]]

Hamburger time, they are clueless. I crashed at 1mg and I thought I was dying. For a kindled brain 1mg is a lot. You're tapering slowly again from 2mgs then?

 

Well I only stayed at 2mg for a few days I didn't think my tolerance was that high with the accumulating effects of valium and its main active metabolite nordiazepam. I stayed at about 2mg for 4 days then when I left the hospital I went back down to 1mg for ten and I felt pretty good there once I had stabilized and have been on 0.9 for the last 8 days and may drop to 0.8 today because I feel pretty decent so far maybe even 0.85 for 4 or 5 days.

 

I'm scared to drop down of course like anyone else because we don't know what to expect and that makes us all anxious, I'm so tired of anxiety controlling my life though and I don't want to rush my taper, I don't want to be a slave to the benzos anymore either. So yeah a slow taper but I'm going to push myself too.

 

How are you doing? Tapering and coming off seems scary because the symptoms that can happen right? It sucks 😕

[[va...]]

Actually I have very bad sxs. It's impossible to sleep without trazodone, my brain is constantly giving me brain jolts with the glutamate firing constantly. The crash in July has ruined everything and I really don't know if I'll ever be able to taper again. Not from this point of brain damage that's for certain. Hope everyone is doing better than I am. I'm really having a victim day.

[[Bl...]]

Actually I have very bad sxs. It's impossible to sleep without trazodone, my brain is constantly giving me brain jolts with the glutamate firing constantly. The crash in July has ruined everything and I really don't know if I'll ever be able to taper again. Not from this point of brain damage that's for certain. Hope everyone is doing better than I am. I'm really having a victim day.

 

Sorry to hear you are feeling so awful!!! I just had to increase my dose of Trazedone to 75 mg as I was also not able to sleep.  It has been such a varied ride these last few weeks.

When I'm hit, I'm hit pretty bad!  Bed bound!  But with rest I begin to feel better.  I am so close to the end now, I just need to hold on!!!Hang in there, Valiumnomore❤

[[Ha...]]

You're so close!!! Cheering for you!

 

What have your worst sxs been the way down?

 

[[Bl...]]

Thanks Burger! ❤ The worst has been my heart pain and palpitations, I developed irritable bowel like issues-constantly running to the washroom, I am beyond fatigued..I have no energy.  I now have constant tinnitus, burning skin and bones, vertigo-visual impairments to name a few.  I also can't stand the cognitive deficiencies!!! I can't do the simplest things.  My short term memory is pretty shot and I don't understand things like I used to. It has been a very hard go, but I have persevered.  I know I've said this before but I tried to think positively the whole time, even when times were horrific.  I kept telling myself I was going to get through it and just let things 'be'.  Otherwise I think I could have been swallowed up with the negativity, anxiety and depression.  I have tried to not let my thoughts get my emotions going, but I allowed myself to feel.  I have had many cries, feelings of anger and at times feeling hopeless, but then I'd be like, no way am I going to let this drug win.  I am still scared about how long the healing will take but I can't control that either, so like tapering, I just have to take what comes to me when I finally get there.  I remember thinking my end date was so far away.  I did what others suggested and tried to distract myself.  I was lucky enough to be able to read and so that has helped to take my mind off of things a bit. I did a lot of sleeping-I couldn'tkeep my eyes open, although just in these last 2 weeks my sleep at night has been very broken. I am excited for my end date so I can begin to truly heal!  I know how hell this can be for everyone, but just keep hanging in there!  You can do it! ❤

[[va...]]

Actually I have very bad sxs. It's impossible to sleep without trazodone, my brain is constantly giving me brain jolts with the glutamate firing constantly. The crash in July has ruined everything and I really don't know if I'll ever be able to taper again. Not from this point of brain damage that's for certain. Hope everyone is doing better than I am. I'm really having a victim day.

 

Sorry to hear you are feeling so awful!!! I just had to increase my dose of Trazedone to 75 mg as I was also not able to sleep.  It has been such a varied ride these last few weeks.

When I'm hit, I'm hit pretty bad!  Bed bound!  But with rest I begin to feel better.  I am so close to the end now, I just need to hold on!!!Hang in there, Valiumnomore❤

 

Thank you Blacklablalady you are so sweet. I hope you come off smoothly.

[[Ma...]]

Do you think you might be tapering too fast. I just learned that lesson the hard way. 

I was fixated on getting to 2 and now I’m losing 7 months with the updose.

[[Ha...]]

Thanks Burger! ❤ The worst has been my heart pain and palpitations, I developed irritable bowel like issues-constantly running to the washroom, I am beyond fatigued..I have no energy.  I now have constant tinnitus, burning skin and bones, vertigo-visual impairments to name a few.  I also can't stand the cognitive deficiencies!!! I can't do the simplest things.  My short term memory is pretty shot and I don't understand things like I used to. It has been a very hard go, but I have persevered.  I know I've said this before but I tried to think positively the whole time, even when times were horrific.  I kept telling myself I was going to get through it and just let things 'be'.  Otherwise I think I could have been swallowed up with the negativity, anxiety and depression.  I have tried to not let my thoughts get my emotions going, but I allowed myself to feel.  I have had many cries, feelings of anger and at times feeling hopeless, but then I'd be like, no way am I going to let this drug win.  I am still scared about how long the healing will take but I can't control that either, so like tapering, I just have to take what comes to me when I finally get there.  I remember thinking my end date was so far away.  I did what others suggested and tried to distract myself.  I was lucky enough to be able to read and so that has helped to take my mind off of things a bit. I did a lot of sleeping-I couldn'tkeep my eyes open, although just in these last 2 weeks my sleep at night has been very broken. I am excited for my end date so I can begin to truly heal!  I know how hell this can be for everyone, but just keep hanging in there!  You can do it! ❤

Oh dear I'm so sorry! Are your palpitations beats you can feel or skipped ones? I'm struggling bad with lack of sleep, visual issues, twitching,anxiety /phobias, crazy emotions also. So tired but my mind won't let me sleep. Big hugs for you.

[[To...]]

Man, I've been fixated on getting to 3.0 and I'm so close but it's getting rougher. I'm at 3.2 and may cut to 3 tomorrow. Blacklablady I may take a page out of your book and try to be positive. I've been overwhelmed lately with a sense that I'm not going to make it and maybe that would help. as my dose is getting lower I feel more dissociation, anxiety, depression, and tinnitus. I'm trying to use distraction but that's tricky since I can't handle TV or books and have irrational fear of almost everything! The symptoms we get can be so bizarre.

[[Ha...]]

Man, I've been fixated on getting to 3.0 and I'm so close but it's getting rougher. I'm at 3.2 and may cut to 3 tomorrow. Blacklablady I may take a page out of your book and try to be positive. I've been overwhelmed lately with a sense that I'm not going to make it and maybe that would help. as my dose is getting lower I feel more dissociation, anxiety, depression, and tinnitus. I'm trying to use distraction but that's tricky since I can't handle TV or books and have irrational fear of almost everything! The symptoms we get can be so bizarre.

 

I've been getting the irrational fear of everything too it's silly! Certain songs, TV shows. I force myself to watch or listen to them when I go to avoid them.

 

 

[[To...]]

Hamburgertime, do you feel it helps when you force yourself to watch or listen to stuff? I've been thinking of doing the same thing to see if I could gradually get that ability back. Like some type of exposure therapy technique. Unfortunately it seems to be getting worse for me. I remember the first time I had to walk out of a movie and how odd it was to me at the time. One cruel irony is that I have an Audible account with 800 books but can't listen to them! I used to love listening to them on the commute before I lost my career to benzos.

[[Ol...]]

Hey Tom it looks like your taper has been nice and steady.. but you may be feeling an accumulation of all the cuts you have done in the last year. Even though it seems like you are going slow, you have come down from 15mg to 3.2... that's a LOT to put your body through in one year! Have you considered holding for a few months to try to stabilize before cutting again? I did a long hold at 2mg (1.5 years!) and now that I am tapering again it has been so much easier.

 

[[Ma...]]

Tom,

I just learned the hard brutal lesson of getting fixated on getting to 2 mg. Deep down I KNEW I was going too fast. Any when new wd symptoms appeared I thought they were another illness.This festered for 2 months until the unmistakable CRASH. I have updosed 2.5 weeks ago and today was a good day. This fixation on 2 mg will cost me an extra 7 months of tapering.  I agree with Olive, let your body test a while.

 

[[Ha...]]

Hamburgertime, do you feel it helps when you force yourself to watch or listen to stuff? I've been thinking of doing the same thing to see if I could gradually get that ability back. Like some type of exposure therapy technique. Unfortunately it seems to be getting worse for me. I remember the first time I had to walk out of a movie and how odd it was to me at the time. One cruel irony is that I have an Audible account with 800 books but can't listen to them! I used to love listening to them on the commute before I lost my career to benzos.

 

I can't say for sure if I feel that it helps but it doesn't seem to make it any worse.

 

When I force myself to go for a walk and I feel horrible at first like I want to run I don't I make myself stay out for 30 minutes. Then I eventually feel a calm compared to how I felt at first. In that situation I can definitely notice.

[[To...]]

Well I cut to 3.0 today, but I may hold for awhile. It seems like I've been taking it slow but maybe it's been too fast after all. I want to get off so I can start healing, but know the timing has to be right. I just feel pressure to get through this and healed in time to keep my house. Thanks everyone for your input.

[[Ha...]]

Well I cut to 3.0 today, but I may hold for awhile. It seems like I've been taking it slow but maybe it's been too fast after all. I want to get off so I can start healing, but know the timing has to be right. I just feel pressure to get through this and healed in time to keep my house. Thanks everyone for your input.

 

One of the hardest things is putting aside the numbers and letting this just be part of your normal life and trying to carry on as best you can. These drugs and how much energy we spend thinking about our symptoms, letting them control us or anticipating them I feel is the biggest part of the battle. Benzo tapering is partly being in the right frame of mind and it is so hard to get there when our thinking can be clouded and foggy. Going into the unknown is one of the scariest things a human can face but it is also an adventure/journey (though I'm sure one most of us would rather not have experienced lol). Take your time, you have come so far, it really isn't a race, I have a hard time being patient too but it seems that I can at least be semi functional on a very slow taper even for a day or two here and there versus being a complete write off the whole way through. Hold at 3.0 for 10-14 days and see how you feel. You might have a few bumpy days but overall I bet you'll be just fine.

[[va...]]

Well I cut to 3.0 today, but I may hold for awhile. It seems like I've been taking it slow but maybe it's been too fast after all. I want to get off so I can start healing, but know the timing has to be right. I just feel pressure to get through this and healed in time to keep my house. Thanks everyone for your input.

 

One of the hardest things is putting aside the numbers and letting this just be part of your normal life and trying to carry on as best you can. These drugs and how much energy we spend thinking about our symptoms, letting them control us or anticipating them I feel is the biggest part of the battle. Benzo tapering is partly being in the right frame of mind and it is so hard to get there when our thinking can be clouded and foggy. Going into the unknown is one of the scariest things a human can face but it is also an adventure/journey (though I'm sure one most of us would rather not have experienced lol). Take your time, you have come so far, it really isn't a race, I have a hard time being patient too but it seems that I can at least be semi functional on a very slow taper even for a day or two here and there versus being a complete write off the whole way through. Hold at 3.0 for 10-14 days and see how you feel. You might have a few bumpy days but overall I bet you'll be just fine.

 

Great post hamburger time

[[Ol...]]

I agree Hamburgertime! And I would even go further to say hold a month or more! I truly believe that you will heal on the same timeline whether you taper fast or slow, it is just whether you want to remain functional on the way down.

 

PS Hamburgertime you win best username

[[Bl...]]

Do you think you might be tapering too fast. I just learned that lesson the hard way. 

I was fixated on getting to 2 and now I’m losing 7 months with the updose.

 

Hi Magnolis, not sure if this was for me, but if it was, I am way better now than I used to be.  Yes I still have a lot of symptoms, but NONE OF THEM compare to how bad I was at 34 days off all drugs, and then having to be reinstated then hold for a month before I was even allowed to taper.  Even when I was deemed fit to taper, these symptoms were all there, just less severe.  Before being reinstated, it was so bad, as I have mentioned way back in this thread, I had to go to the E.R.  So, I knew if I ever started to feel like that again, that would be an indicator to slow down or do a hold.  Yes it has been brutal but I have always listened to my body.  I knew it was going to be a rough ride and just managed to keep at it.  I slept when my body said sleep, I kept a journal of all my hard times, documented all my side effects,  but through it all I maintained the thought that I was going to kick this drugs a$%! I have had 4 major surgeries and lived most of my life dealing with pain.  I refused to take a lot of the drugs that were prescribed to me along my road, and chose to sit with the pain a lot of the time.  During my last surgery which was 5 hrs long and 6 weeks in bed, I had morphine in the hospital, then I only used 1 percocet while at home.  I decided to manage without it and used basic Tylenol (not even T 3's) to get by.  It was hard, but I did not like how the Percs made me feel from my other surgeries.  I knew they were there to take if I needed them. So that is kinda how I am.  I am also on Trazedone which has allowed me to sleep (even though I need to wean from it) and Prozac, which I really believe helped me with my anxiety and some bouts of depression throughout this taper.  I had a super amazing team helping me through all of this at a world renowned hospital here in Toronto.  Not only did I get weekly support during this whole taper, but I got counseling from the most amazing man who has become an inspiration to me!  As well, I saw my regular psychologist monthly to aid me.  I did an online CBT course offered through my workplace and read through the bible of CBT(Mind Over Mood) which is a workbook on dealing with things like anxiety and depression.  I was instructed to develop a day and sleep plan which included many mindfulness practices as well as repeating positive mantras every night before bed.  I truly believe these factors have all been key to my perseverance.  As well, I just accepted my situation and did the best I could when the 'what if's' anxiety and negative thoughts started to creep in.  It took me a long while to see my closest friends and even some of my family members, but once I did and told them everything, I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders.  I still do have many worries, like returning to work with everyone thinking this was a total nervous breakdown, when really it was caused by the dang drugs and has so many more physiological factors than people know.  But, I will deal with that all as the time to return to work gets closer.  My doctor does not forsee me going back any time soon and wants me to be healed as best as I can so I do not face an increase in symptoms and anxiety.  That is the good part of living in a big city where there are doctors who specialize is substance use and have helped many people to get free of all kinds of medications. 

So for now, I think my last 17 days, no matter what comes my way, I will be able to handle it.  I am just so excited for the end of alot of this rottenness!  How I'm feeling now is what I have been dealing with the whole time, so I'm keeping on course with how it has been since the very beginning.  I have seen longer windows and some SX'S improve.  They are not gone but less intense for sure! Keep fighting the fight everyone!!!! You can do it!!!!❤

[[Bl...]]

Well I cut to 3.0 today, but I may hold for awhile. It seems like I've been taking it slow but maybe it's been too fast after all. I want to get off so I can start healing, but know the timing has to be right. I just feel pressure to get through this and healed in time to keep my house. Thanks everyone for your input.

 

One of the hardest things is putting aside the numbers and letting this just be part of your normal life and trying to carry on as best you can. These drugs and how much energy we spend thinking about our symptoms, letting them control us or anticipating them I feel is the biggest part of the battle. Benzo tapering is partly being in the right frame of mind and it is so hard to get there when our thinking can be clouded and foggy. Going into the unknown is one of the scariest things a human can face but it is also an adventure/journey (though I'm sure one most of us would rather not have experienced lol). Take your time, you have come so far, it really isn't a race, I have a hard time being patient too but it seems that I can at least be semi functional on a very slow taper even for a day or two here and there versus being a complete write off the whole way through. Hold at 3.0 for 10-14 days and see how you feel. You might have a few bumpy days but overall I bet you'll be just fine.

 

Here, here brother! You nailed it!❤

[[Bl...]]

Man, I've been fixated on getting to 3.0 and I'm so close but it's getting rougher. I'm at 3.2 and may cut to 3 tomorrow. Blacklablady I may take a page out of your book and try to be positive. I've been overwhelmed lately with a sense that I'm not going to make it and maybe that would help. as my dose is getting lower I feel more dissociation, anxiety, depression, and tinnitus. I'm trying to use distraction but that's tricky since I can't handle TV or books and have irrational fear of almost everything! The symptoms we get can be so bizarre.

 

Tom, I really do believe our thoughts and mindset have a lot to do with it! Acceptance that this has happened, patience and perseverance to have to deal with this no matter how long it takes and sitting with the SX's.  You will get there!  My nighttime mantra was this: I am going to get through this! It is a marathon not a sprint.  I am loved and have the support of my husband, family and friends.  It is not going to be easy, but I am going to persevere, and be kind to myself.

I would also tell myself in the mornings: You are going to get through this day no matter how tough it is.  I would say these mantras over and over and they began to be part of my regular routines.  I think I am going to continue to use these mantras until I feel better and even when I return to work.  They may be tweaked a little but I think they are instrumental in keeping a positive mindset! Hang in there!!!❤

[[Ma...]]

Since my crash, I know I have to go slower. I use the benzo. .Org spreadsheet. If I go with my typical percentages. The taper will take another 3.5 years. Is this correct or are there other factors for last 2 mg. Do people slow the taper 30 to 50%. I’ll do whatever it takes never to go thru this hell again, but I’m wondering if I’m missing something.

[[Bl...]]

Since my crash, I know I have to go slower. I use the benzo. .Org spreadsheet. If I go with my typical percentages. The taper will take another 3.5 years. Is this correct or are there other factors for last 2 mg. Do people slow the taper 30 to 50%. I’ll do whatever it takes never to go thru this hell again, but I’m wondering if I’m missing something.

Hi Magnolis,

I believe it all depends on your body and how much you are able to tolerate.  I believe we all bring different pain thresholds, experiences, anxiety and depression thresholds to the table so what may work for one may not work for others.  You may find that it will take that much time or sadly even longer. Or you may stabilize and be able to do a slightly faster pace or %.  It is all so individual.  I think that was what upset me the most about this dang drug, is that it follows no set path or milestones in which you know you are getting better.  I remember thinking it was going to be the worst case scenario bc I was so bad, but I was able to maintain my 10% every two weeks with a DLMT removing .01mg a day.  I too use a spread sheet and timers to ensure my dosage times are accurate.  But, I had early on caused myself so much grief and anxiety that I would probably have to slow down or adjust my taper %, and yet I managed to keep going at a steady pace.  That may be your case as well, we just never know.  I will never forget what Lori043 said as I was so distraught with how it was all going to play out.  She said somebody else's nightmare may not be your own.  Many of the symptoms you are reading about may never happen to you. And those words stuck with me!  At times when I felt doomed I thought this is never going to end, but then I found people going through the same things as me and knew that there were others out there that understood what I was going through.  Many others on here had a way harder time than me, and some had easier times.  But most importantly, is to listen to you!  If my anxiety and depression hadn't of improved, most likely from the Prozac and help of Trazedone to sleep, I don't think I would have been able to maintain this taper rate as well as I have.  Sleep helps improve mood and allowed me to handle things a bit better.  But I recognize that is not an option for everyone.  Many just want off all medications and that is their choice.  Right now, that mix is right for me and if in my future I feel ready, I will wean off those...or not.  Everybody has to do what is right for them, and sometimes you don't have to listen to others.  I was offered Gabapentin to help me when things were really bad but I had researched and heard on here how difficult it can be for many to get off, so I said no.  I chose to not take that to help me and opted for the Prozac and Trazedone.  Others may have shrugged off all of it, or chosen some of them.  So, as much as we want to keep to that many days of tapering or that certain percentage, you may just have to play it out day by day to see how much you really can handle and where your limits are.  Yes it is going to take a while and that is the hard part! The patience while you are suffering, along with the perseverance with so many days ahead.  But you may just have to take it one day at a time.  Hold onto your hopes that things may get into a groove or that you may be able to increase the speed or % based on your body, but if you bank on them you may face some disappointments.  I was always prepared to have to make changes if I needed to.  That allowed me piece of mind.  And I chose not to always expect the worse, or that it would stay.  It is so hard to do but it will help you immensely!  ❤