New 12-18 Month Buddy Group

[[Be...]]

Does anyone ever feel like they ran a marathon with all the body soreness and fatigue, but in reality barely moved out of bed? 

 

My brain feels like mush and my body feels like I'm 100 years old. 

 

Ive done a marathon and I didn't feel this bad.

[[Ju...]]

How are we supposed to believe this will end? I slept from 12-1 am and from 4ish to 5ish this morning. Felt like my skin was being scraped off with a butter knife.

[[Ch...]]

Yeah it would be interesting to hear what are the last symptoms to go for most people. Anyone ask someone who has recovered? I swear sometimes I feel like this chronic fatigue and widespread body pain is never going to leave. It's been so long that I can't even remember what it feels like to have energy or a body free of pain.

 

I can handle the blurry vision(I walk around with vaseline over my eyes  ), eye floaters, tremors, but some of the other symptoms are relentless! 

[[Be...]]

I think what symptom goes last its different for each recovered person, from folks I know who I've stayed in touch with.

 

My inner trembling is constant, anywhere from subtle to nerve racking. The muscle and nerve pain was the unexpected symptom that makes me disabled in so many ways.  :'(

 

 

[[Ki...]]

This is all just too flippin' miserable  :'( I've had a week from....well, you know. Ended up in the hospital for a day and half with a very angry ovarian cyst and was terrified the meds they gave me would interact and set me back. I'm so hyper-vigilant about everything and rarely comfortable or relaxed. Trying to keep my head above water, but I'm just so tired of it all. 

[[Be...]]

This is all just too flippin' miserable  :'( I've had a week from....well, you know. Ended up in the hospital for a day and half with a very angry ovarian cyst and was terrified the meds they gave me would interact and set me back. I'm so hyper-vigilant about everything and rarely comfortable or relaxed. Trying to keep my head above water, but I'm just so tired of it all. 

 

Sorry to hear this, Kiddo. That's very painful.    Did you have any increased symptoms from the drugs they gave you? What were the drugs?

[[Ki...]]

This is all just too flippin' miserable  :'( I've had a week from....well, you know. Ended up in the hospital for a day and half with a very angry ovarian cyst and was terrified the meds they gave me would interact and set me back. I'm so hyper-vigilant about everything and rarely comfortable or relaxed. Trying to keep my head above water, but I'm just so tired of it all. 

 

Sorry to hear this, Kiddo. That's very painful.    Did you have any increased symptoms from the drugs they gave you? What were the drugs?

 

Hi Bennie 

 

I was given Morphine and Zofran, I had a CT Scan but refused the contrast dye. I've had a mild/moderate uptick but that could be from stress/worry/fatigue as opposed to the meds. Who knows. I'm just so sick and tired of it all and total hysterectomy seems inevitable and when I think about that I go down the rabbit hole. Ugh.

[[Ju...]]

I'm so sorry kiddo. Thinking of you. 

[[Be...]]

This is all just too flippin' miserable  :'( I've had a week from....well, you know. Ended up in the hospital for a day and half with a very angry ovarian cyst and was terrified the meds they gave me would interact and set me back. I'm so hyper-vigilant about everything and rarely comfortable or relaxed. Trying to keep my head above water, but I'm just so tired of it all. 

 

Sorry to hear this, Kiddo. That's very painful.    Did you have any increased symptoms from the drugs they gave you? What were the drugs?

 

Hi Bennie 

 

I was given Morphine and Zofran, I had a CT Scan but refused the contrast dye. I've had a mild/moderate uptick but that could be from stress/worry/fatigue as opposed to the meds. Who knows. I'm just so sick and tired of it all and total hysterectomy seems inevitable and when I think about that I go down the rabbit hole. Ugh.

 

Oh dear, Kiddo. I get it. Sick, and sick of it all. I'm sorry.

 

I've been contemplating various procedures as well, and have visited that rabbit hole. I cancelled an MRI with dye that I was to have yesterday when my doctor said the MRI without dye was probably good enough. So that's on hold. My functional medicine doctor prescribed supplements to take that would help remove the gadolinium dye. I think I am more afraid of detoxing my body than the dye. I hate the health fears that take hold. Ignorance can be useful; but we know too much and can be our own worst enemies. Sometimes I wish I were clueless. Hearing positive outcomes for different scenarios definitely lowers my stress level, and makes me braver. Last week I did talk with a woman who had laposcopic surgery for endo and ovarian cyst on a Friday, and went to work on Monday. A month later she was back to normal. That happened three years ago and she's doing great. No more pain. I thought, sign me up! I'm going to talk with my GYN next week, and two of the HMO surgeons.

 

Kiddo, If you do get the hysterectomy, I hope you get a second opinion. I know I'd want to be confident that the best procedure and doctors being used.

 

I hope you are feeling better today.

Bennie 

[[Ki...]]

I'm in 100% agreeance with you, Bennie. My concern is that I also have and endometrial polyp they've been monitoring, I'm anemic from heavy bleeding, 2 cysts on the left ovary and 1 large in the right. I've also had a portion of my cervix removed already for pre-cancer cells.....that's why I'm thinking that's the route I'll have to go  If all my further testing comes back clear, including the pathology for the uterine lining bisopsy, I'd be happy to just have the cysts removed.

 

What you say about "wishing we didn't know so much" is truly accurate. I get so overwhelmed with health fears/anxiety (ine of my worst sx) because I don't feel strong enough to deal with anything on top of this hideous withdrawal. My husband says I'm the strongest person he's ever met....but I don't want to be strong anymore. I want things to be easy. 

[[He...]]

Hello. I'ts been 12 months today since my last Benzo. I've had some good days and quite a few bad days. In the past 6 months I have worked 28 to 34 hours a week. ( through the grace of god! ), traveled to Mexico vacation with daughters, Houston and Denver for my employer, and Georgia to see my dad. It  may sound pleasurable but ,it was a chore. With the anxiety,headaches along with all over body spasms and heartburn daily, I don't know how I kept it together. Just want to let everyone know. I was terrified to go on every last one of these trips. But, I fought through it. I kept telling myself, " you will be okay". As of today I'm in a wave. With the headaches, stomach problems and body spasms being the worse . Just praying that I will be writing a success story soon! God Bless us all!!

[[Ki...]]

Welcome Heaven....good for you. Sounds like you're doing everything right!  :smitten:

[[Be...]]

Good for you, Heaven, for powering through those trips!

Hoping your wave will pass soon.

Keep on, Keeping on!

[[an...]]

I just returned from a week in Maryland. We had to get a woman to fly with me on the way there because I was so terrified. I flew back by myself and was sooooo happy I can't tell you! I faced a huge fear and the return was enourmous. I got a little bit of my freedom back!

[[Be...]]

I just returned from a week in Maryland. We had to get a woman to fly with me on the way there because I was so terrified. I flew back by myself and was sooooo happy I can't tell you! I faced a huge fear and the return was enourmous. I got a little bit of my freedom back!

 

Sweet freedom, ang!!

[[He...]]

Thanks BennyJ and Kiddo! Will be at the finish line soon!!!😁!!Great job Ang!! Keep on keeping on!!!😁

[[Ch...]]

Ang, your black lab looks just like my dear Clyde that passed away a year ago. I love black labs! Your pic brought a smile to my face today. 

[[HR...]]

I'm new to this group. I was doing pretty good last summer/early fall. But I have really gone down hill since then. Since the one year mark I feel like I've gotten worse. The cog fog is worse than it has ever been throughout this whole journey and it is really worrying me. I'm a software developer and I need to be able to think for my job. But I really struggle now. Most people used to think I was really smart and I feel like I'm mentally disabled now.

 

Has anyone else experienced this? I'm 10 days out from being 16 months off. I was hoping I would be about done by now but it seems like it will never end.

[[Ki...]]

Hi HRP....welcome to the group (that no one wants to be in). I'm sorry you feel like you're going backwards....I can certainly empathize with that. It hard not to discouraged, with the sheer length of time this takes, but I truly believe we get better. When I'm feeling particularly symptomatic I like to read the success stories.

 

 

[[an...]]

Chicago 77 I'm glad I brought you a smile. I love my dog!!

HRP402 It could just be a wave and it will go. How's your caffeine intake and diet? I've cleaned up everything and when I did a lot of that stuff left. I think we underestimate the power of food.

 

 

 

I'm having a bad brain squeezing feeling that kind of makes me feel agitated or aggressive. It's so hard to explain. Does anyone else get this sensation? Sometimes it comes with intrusive thoughts. I'm doing my best to distract today.

 

 

[[HR...]]

Sorry ang, I've been away for a while. I don't drink caffeine anymore and I try to eat pretty healthy. I had been doing a little better since my 16th month started a few weeks ago (still nowhere near 100% though), but have gotten worse again due to me doing some weight lifting on Monday and having dairy over lunch today.

[[St...]]

I am 16 months off and 6 months from my last drink. my main sx are this ocd thinking I am depressed or will come down with some illness. I don't recall being ocd before this started. I don't have any physical  pains anymore and I sleep good through the night. my mornings are rough where I feel hung over til about noon. does anyone else have similar sx as mine?  I worry this is nt going to end and mabey this is unrelated to benzos

[[an...]]

I had the OCD type thinking until month 14 probably. I think you're still early since your last drink wasn't too long ago.

 

I like to think that if I didn't have a symptom before wd then I won't have it when I'm healed. I had to do a lot of CBT to work on my thinking though.

[[Er...]]

Hello all! I haven't been in this site much but I'm having a bit of a rough day I think. I feel that I've been 85%-90% for the last 3-4 months with no improvement which is very frustrating. I did have one really bad day a little over s month ago but then back to 90% the next day. Today has been bad as well. Cog dog, benzo flu, right cheat, headache, all kinds of stuff I got in the beginning.

 

I've been eating pretty much whatever I want for a long time now and just decided to cut out sugar 2 days ago after eating too much of it for a while. Still no alcohol or caffeine though.  Can this be part of the cause of why I feel like such crap today? I'm about 16 months out. This wave is kinda scary because I woke up gasping for air this morning. Fell right back asleep but woke up again gasping for air. I'm having trouble breathing out of my nose because of allergies.

[[an...]]

Sugar definitely has an affect on my symptoms. I can barely eat any.

 

Have any of you with severe cold turkey had dental work around my time off? I am so scared and I think at the very least I need a new filling, at the worst I need a root canal.