18 - 30 Month Plus Group

[[Mi...]]

Hey All,

 

Still waving, it's been a really tough couple of days. Experiencing thing I haven't since about month 20!  I am sorry to be a downer and really try to only post positive hopeful posts. I am starting to absolutely unravel. Allthough I know I haven't had a 100% window in many months but my baseline had improved so very much. But, I haven't ever had that I feel 100% my old self so I know there is more healing that needs to be done. I am really starting to loose hope you guys....  I have brain fog, intrusive thoughts. I am really getting scared. This ends right guys?

Sorry.

[[dr...]]

Jen...it always does.  Just don't ask Pil54 

 

Hope it breaks soon for you. 

[[ci...]]

jen, yes it does end. I just read your signature line and we have the same sxs and off the same period. What always has helped me is my mantra, "How I feel today is not how I will feel 3-6 months from now." Feel free to use it, it works.

 

Always, cindy

[[ca...]]

Hey All,

 

Still waving, it's been a really tough couple of days. Experiencing thing I haven't since about month 20!  I am sorry to be a downer and really try to only post positive hopeful posts. I am starting to absolutely unravel. Allthough I know I haven't had a 100% window in many months but my baseline had improved so very much. But, I haven't ever had that I feel 100% my old self so I know there is more healing that needs to be done. I am really starting to loose hope you guys....  I have brain fog, intrusive thoughts. I am really getting scared. This ends right guys?

Sorry.

 

Your signature is very similar to my situation and we are around the same time off.  I have all those sx too and some odd ones here and there.  Ive seen tiny glimpses of normality so we must believe we heal.  Come on..let's keep going!

[[Mi...]]

Thanks guys!

I think I need to see some of us or at least one or two write a success story!

If you guys know of a good one let me know please! Running low on hope and could really use a good dose of it!

 

😜  Sorry Again for the rant! It's just getting hard as you all know all to well

 

Sending you all big healing Hugs

[[so...]]

Drew,

 

Ditto your remark about pil54.  I have him on ignore so don't see what he posts.  It's always the same ole sh*t anyway, so why bother? 

 

Jenn,

 

Hang in there sweetheart.  You are almost healed.  Withdrawal is taking one last swipe at you before it leaves in a puff of foul smoke. 

 

I am getting hit with stuff that was long gone months ago.  My pattern has changed up.  I have no idea what to expect each day, but then I guess that's good because, prior to last month, every day was a wheezing panicky air hunger drugged drunk head whooshing chilly feverish gut wrenching anal spasm electrocution sweaty crap fest.  I still wake up to a toxic storm every morning at 4am.  That old companion has never left.  How deep I'm sunken into the turd hole throughout the day is what has changed.  Things keep moving, then settling down to normal shitty, then rev up again.  I give up.

 

Sorry, guess I needed to complain.  To end my rant on a positive note, my bowel movements are stable and attractive, for bowel movements, that is.  I never thought I'd be grateful for consistent bowel movements, but I truly am.

 

Sofa

 

 

[[Si...]]

Jen you've had some good days before. They'll be back.

[[...]]

I'm waving too Jen, just like you, same stuff.  Can't breathe and my muscles are a mess today, so tight. I think that's why our breathing is affected as the muscles around the chest are tight. Throat feels closed, ears tight, nose ect. I've been sleeping better but still exhausted. Got some heart palps too and not had them for a while. Just feeling really uncomfortable and so want to get on with life and do some stuff with my kids.

 

My positive (sort of) is I have some head pressure but it's been way worse.

 

Would give anything to feel like doing some serious garden work. I love being outdoors and it makes me feel better but today is one of those survive days.

 

Oh to wake up and this be gone........

[[...]]

Well, I've just had one of those Drew aura type things, no particular headache. Has freaked me out a bit. couldn't see my monitor properly at work. It's faded now but what the...........

[[Mi...]]

Marj, Idk what the aura thing means exactly.  But, I have had vision problems myself.  Floaters, blurred vision, anything with lights. I always had 20/20 vision but I have been having a hard time reading the menu or guide on the tv. Night time driving is horrendous....

I hope this is all apart of the process!

[[Bl...]]

Hey All,

 

Still waving, it's been a really tough couple of days. Experiencing thing I haven't since about month 20!  I am sorry to be a downer and really try to only post positive hopeful posts. I am starting to absolutely unravel. Allthough I know I haven't had a 100% window in many months but my baseline had improved so very much. But, I haven't ever had that I feel 100% my old self so I know there is more healing that needs to be done. I am really starting to loose hope you guys....  I have brain fog, intrusive thoughts. I am really getting scared. This ends right guys?

Sorry.

 

It does end--I had a bad wave in the afternoon yesterday of chest pressure/tightness so bad it was affecting my breathing. It went away overnight and now I feel pretty good breathing-wise. In a semi-window now except for some annoying muscle pain. Still cycling symptoms, but they are not as intense now.

Healing is still happening and it will get better!

[[...]]

Jen, I have the same vision stuff too, but not the aura thing in WD. i have had it before when I was preggers and stressed. I lookerd it up (never do this normally) and it say's it's harmless. It was just freaky. My vision has always been 20/20 too. blurred vision etc is part of this. Finished work for Easter now and I've got next week off. Praying it will be ok.

Night time driving is horrendous here too. We won't be long now Jen, it's just horrible until it's over. 

[[pi...]]

Its horrendous for years until it come back month after you feel healed

 

Benzos gurus association like ian singleton baylissa and blablabla dont tell this

[[pi...]]

Dont worry " its normal everybody heal"  95% heal at the 2 year mark

 

Realy ? 

[[pi...]]

May be time to create a 30-60 month group no ? As we will still be on this forum in 3-4 years

[[dr...]]

Pil...if your only mission is to try and freak people out I am sure you are doing it.  You are not at 2 years and we are the worst of the worst but all improving apparently except you.  Since you have no hope of healing and you provide no support why are you here?  Serious.... 

[[dr...]]

Jen...the auras are completely harmless but scary the first time or two.  It is apparently some type of seritonin storm that goes through he brain that causes it. 

[[pi...]]

Pil...if your only mission is to try and freak people out I am sure you are doing it.  You are not at 2 years and we are the worst of the worst but all improving apparently except you.  Since you have no hope of healing and you provide no support why are you here?  Serious....

 

Where you want me to be ? Im 28 years old and bedriden all day, unable to socialize because of crazy mental symptoms i never had in my whole life, i cant focus on anything because my brain goes crazy with completly damage concentration, just searshing an object made me Dizzy and feel fainting, unable to handle the smallest stimulation, unable to walk more than 20min because my knees feel like they dont have anymore cartillage in, like my legs would break

 

most people here in this group are able to have a job, able to go outside in restaurants or see football match, able to socialize and go outside for walking, able to travel, man i Wonder why you are here in this forum more than i am

 

I dont have anywhere to go anymore because im in bed all day with crazy exausthion fighting crazy mental symptoms with a chemical imbalance that torture my brain all day with severe suicidal thought, where you want me to be other than here ? I dont have anywhere to go , cant have a job to distract, i cant even distract because i cant focus on anything because i have crazy head symptoms, the only place i have is my bed and my smartophone and my TV

 

sure i hear you man i see all people improving exept me and that's why im so angry, you probably would be to if you were in my shoes tortured all day with crazy suicidal thought at 20 month off, unable to go to a stupid grocery because my brain cant handle any stimulation, i can assure you man that you probably would be in my state of mind if you were in my shoes

 

If i was like you able to maintain a job, travel arround the world to get married etc etc i wouldnt even registered in this fucking forum

[[dr...]]

you act like a little entitled shit who thinks he has it worse than everyone else.  Basically Fu&k off you pathetic piece of sh*t since you make an assumption that I have/had it better than you.

[[dr...]]

Yes..i did all those things you mention in spite of feeling that way you describe.  that is the difference.  Pussy 

[[pi...]]

Let me laught

[[pi...]]

Complaining about some headache no dp dr no chemical anxiety since 17month off  traveling to get married able to have a job to go to grocery etc etc 

 

I cant even handle the stimulation of a grocery 20month off and stand in it more than 2min even with daily exposure and fighting it

 

Dont be upset man you are able to do your shit just because your CNS calm down enought for you to be able to do it 

[[pi...]]

Cant even handle the visit of someone in my house other than my parents 20 month off and you consider yourself a warrior to have a job to travel arround the world to get married etc etc

 

So crazy ridicilous

[[pi...]]

Like this other guy siggy. Working all the way through complaining about insomnia and midle depression

 

How the hell can people be in a forum like this for so ridiculous symptoms ?

 

You are hopefull when you find someone telling you he turned the corner 19 month off and then you ask him is symptoms and you are like that  man why are you here for such ridiculous symptoms ?

 

Im at your time off bedriden unable to even do a washing up without feeling vomiting. Unable to even buy what i want in a grocery unable to handle a conversation with somebody and you spent 19 month in a forum complaining about shitty symptoms like that telling your turn a corner 19 month ?

 

God what the hell im praying for death everyday at your time off while you are able to work 

[[Fi...]]

Pil?  You know who I feel sorriest for?  Your mother.