****Another Success Story that healing really does happen!!****

[[Tr...]]

 

 

I'm writing my success story not for me but for everyone on BB who is still suffering.  My heart goes out to every one on this site. I know that so many people read the success stories for a glimpse of hope or a ray of light. I hope that my success story will convey to you that healing really does happen and you will heal too. I am a cancer survivor and now I can proudly say that I have healed from a Benzo.

 

I went off Valium on December 31, 2014 not knowing I had to taper off of it, not knowing Valium was a Benzo and definitely not knowing what this poison truly does to our brain. I went into acute withdrawal 23 days later while shopping at Bed Bath and Beyond. As I write this I am still wondering how I managed to drive home. My acute withdrawal lasted for 5 days (only 3 hours per day) and it wasn't until the beginning of February that I found BB and I then realized I should never have c/t'd. I then decided to call 3 PDOC'S in my area hoping to reinstate for a proper taper however all three doctors felt since I was already off Valium for one month that they would have to increase my dosage from 5 mg to 10 mg and I could possibly have kindling. Based on the information that I was given I decided to ride out the storm.  Right after acute w/d I had a two week window and that is when I knew that I was going to heal. I have always been a very positive person and even when I had a wave I accepted it and I told myself this is part of healing and this too shall pass. When I was in a wave I always kept moving and I distracted myself by keeping busy. Despite having blurred vision, intense anxiety, fearful of walking into a supermarket or fearful of the cashier I forced myself to do this. I told myself this is the Benzo poison putting fear in my mind and I am definitely not a fearful person. 

 

I had the same side effects that most people have however my w/d symptoms were all manageable and they never lasted all day. I have always been in excellent health, I never abused any drugs and I never smoked pot or ciggies. I have been exercising 7 days a week for the past 23 years, and the last couple of years I have been on a low fat, no carb, no sugar diet. Eating healthy and exercise has always been a huge part of my life and I know that exercising while I was in recovery helped expedite my healing. I am aware that so many people can not exercise while in recovery and please know that I feel for you.

 

While I was on BB I met a lovely woman who resides in Texas. We immediately bonded and when she jumped she decided that she no longer wanted to log onto BB daily. We exchanged emails and corresponded every day. Her personality is very similar to mine (outgoing, upbeat and positive) and we became each other's BB. Whenever we had a wave we managed to laugh about it as opposed to worry and ponder about it. I now have a friend for life and I am so lucky to have met her on BB. I suggest that everyone try to find one person on BB who they can bond with and support each other while you heal.

 

Since coming off a Benzo the world now seems bigger, the colors seem more vivid and brighter and my memory is as sharp as it used to be before ever taking a Benzo, in summation life is beautiful again. Since going through Benzo recovery and experiencing it first hand I plan to help others who are still suffering.

 

Please see the list of things that I did during my recovery. These things helped me, however they might not help you since we are all so genetically different and we have different physiology. However I still wanted to share them with you.

 

1. I had one cup of coffee in the AM daily.

2. I ate a brand of yogurt daily that contains a strain that could up-regulate GABA receptors in mice.

3. I ate VERY healthy during my recovery and I ate A LOT of brain food.

4. I exercised every day during recovery for 2 1/2 hours a day (and I lifted weights daily and started body building).

5. During the first three months I did NOT take any vitamins. In the 4th month I started to take Vitamin D drops (I was low in Vitamin D since I never go in the sun) with 100 mg of Magnesium Glycinate, Omega 3 Fish Oil by Nordic Naturals twice a day (which truly abated my cog fog).

6. I had no alcohol until I was 6 months off.  When I had my first glass of wine I only took 3 slow sips on a full stomach. My PDOC told me when I introduce alcohol to take baby sips only and to gradually increase the amount of sips very slowly. There is a lot of controversy about this however I decided to listen to the advice of my PDOC.

7. I went to bed every night at the same time to retrain my brain how to sleep without having to be dependent upon taking a Valium at 3:00 AM if I could not fall back to sleep.

8. When I was having anxiety I listened to Meditation Oasis and my anxiety always abated.

9. I stayed away from reading anything scary or negative on BB.

10. I read the book "Spark" by Dr. John Ratey. We exchanged emails and he advised me all about the benefits of exercise, GABA receptors and healing. I highly recommend that everyone reads this book. It is a life changer.

11. I always remained POSITIVE and UPBEAT every day while in recovery. A positive mind is much better than a negative mind which will be more prudent and conducive for healing.

 

If I had a magic wand and I could make everyone on BB heal right now I would wave that magic wand. I want everyone who reads my success story to know that healing really does happen. If I could heal from a c/t you will heal too. Time is what heals us however I do believe there are some things that you can do to help your brain while we recover. If anyone has any questions please feel free to email me or PM me.

 

I'm wishing everyone on BB a speedy recovery. I want to thank all of the moderators who always answered my questions promptly. The meaning of life is to live it and I know that everyone on BB will reach this milestone in time. Healing is like climbing a staircase. We start off on the first step and we desperately want to climb the staircase however we might not be able to do it today. Some days we can climb to the third step and then we might fall back a step or two. However in time we can climb the staircase and we can finally make it to the top of the staircase without falling down. After we reach the top of the staircase we turn back, we smile as we look at the staircase and we now know that we can now achieve anything in life!!

 

Best wishes to all.

Always Frantastic

 

Hi Frantastic,

 

I read your success story.  I wanted to thank you for your post.  We need all the positivity we can get!

Outside of daily workouts, is there anything els you found to be beneficial to your healing. 

 

I try to eat a healthy diet, no sugar, no MSG, no Caffine, no alcohol.  I don't smoke.  What brain foods have you tried?

 

Lastly, has meditation been helpful? 

 

I'm so happy for you, I hope to some day write my own success story.

 

Thank you for keeping us inspired!

 

TRY

[[Sh...]]

Hi, Fran. Good to know you're still doing great.

 

I'm still not there yet, but slowly making progress.

[[Ar...]]

I read the success stories with much hope in my heart.  The tremors and heart palpitations can be all consuming and overwhelming for me. These success stories keep me going.  Thank you for your inspiring words.       

[[NY...]]

Thank you for sharing, Fran.  My wise mind has told me even through the worst of times, exercise is essential to healing,  so part of my recovery since day one, rain or shine. 

[[Al...]]

Hi Trying2beme- I have been on a low carb, low sugar, low fat diet for the past 6 years. Exercise and eating healthy has always been my motto. I continued to eat very healthy during recovery however I incorporated a lot of brain food Please see the list of foods that I ate daily. I apologize if this post is long however I wanted to answer all of your questions.

 

Breakfast: eggs sunny side up (now I do not eat the yolk since I watch my cholesterol). I did eat the yolk for about 8 weeks because the yolk is good for your brain (B Vitamins and protein).

 

Morning snack after working out -I always ate the Traders Joe's low fat yogurt (with L Rhamnosus) and I added in Omega 3 flaxseed.

 

Lunch-A huge Kale salad (which contains a lot of Vitamin B and it's great for the brain) with red bell peppers, yellow peppers, green peppers, orange peppers, tomatoes, cucumbers, red onion, apples, sunflower seeds and turkey

breast.

 

Afternoon snack consisted of almonds or carrots with hummus.

 

Dinner: I do not eat any red meat. I mostly ate chicken, salmon twice a week and turkey burgers. I live off broccoli and spinach every night. In the beginning I was eating a lot of quinoa and brown rice. (Brown rice is excellent for your brain and it's much better than white rice). In the beginning I did eat healthy carbs especially after I lost 7 pds when I was in acute w/d.

 

Evening snack was always blueberries, watermelon, red delicious apples & strawberries.

 

I drank 1 cup of decaf coffee every morning w/o sugar and by the 5th month out I was able to drink one cup of regular coffee. Now I can drink two cups of coffee a day and it does not effect me.

 

I used meditation oasis when I was having bad anxiety and it always helped me. What was my life saver was listening to meditation oasis "Relax into Sleep Guided Meditation" when I woke up during the night. It always lulled me back to sleep. Now I sleep all night but if I wake up to go to the bathroom I am now able to fall back to sleep immediately and I don't even stress or think about not being able to fall back to sleep. The brain is plastic and it can be retrained.

 

You can also incorporate the Mediterranean diet which is supposed to be very good for your brain. Keep in mind our guts are our second brain and it's imperative to eat healthy.

 

Hi Shirah-I'm thinking of you and I hope that you are sleeping better. You will get there, I promise you this.

 

Hi Clarita-I hope that you are doing well. Stay positive and keep telling yourself that healing is so worth it and in the end everyone heals!

 

Arkansas1122-I'm sorry that you are dealing with the tremors and heart palpitations. Have you tried Meditation Oasis? I had the heart palps too and it was annoying however it will fade away.

 

Hi Clona21-How are you feeling?

 

Mlmagic-Hi I hope that you are doing great. You always had a very positive upbeat outlook. We are almost one year off can you believe it? The best part of healing is being able to live your life to the fullest. 

 

I'm not logging on too often however I am thinking of everyone on BB and I know everyone is going to heal.

 

Fran

[[Al...]]

NYCWaverider-How are you? You're probably at the end of your taper by now.

 

Have you read Spark by Dr. John Ratey? That book has been my life saver. 

 

I hope that you are doing well. Keep working out, your brain will thank you:)

 

[[NY...]]

NYCWaverider-How are you? You're probably at the end of your taper by now.

 

Have you read Spark by Dr. John Ratey? That book has been my life saver. 

 

I hope that you are doing well. Keep working out, your brain will thank you:)

 

Hi Fran,

 

The end has been kind to me (lower I go, better I feel...consistent trend), and still cutting 10% with then day holds, so have a chunk of time left, but yes, can now see the finish line.  Woop!

 

Will check out the book, thank you!

 

WR

[[Tr...]]

Fran,

 

Thank you for the info.

 

It's always uplifting for this of us in this journey to read positive outcomes.

 

Continued healing, and well wishes.

 

TRY

[[Cl...]]

Hi Fran, I am doing good. You inspire me. Thank you. The Taper days seem to be very far away 

[[ml...]]

Hi Fran...Thanks for the posts and info. You are always so informative and kind 

 

I am in awe that 2 more months to go and yes...12 months are here! I can't believe it! I didn't think I would survive this months ago. Our bodies are truly amazing and really fight to be right again, IF we participate and engage in the process.

 

My baseline continues to improve and the W/W are shorter and less intense. I push thru the yucky now and am able to ignore it for the most part.

 

God bless your holiday season Fran and GO live your life friend! 

Lysa

[[Co...]]

Keep rereading your succes story. I hope this will be true for me one day.

[[ba...]]

Really a cool story...gives me hope as I try to make my decision...stay on C/T day 8 or go back and taper....

 

Thanks,

Mark

[[Al...]]

Hi everyone!!

 

One year ago tonight I took my last Valium. I want everyone who reads my success story to believe that healing REALLY does happen. I just returned from vacation and there was no way last winter that I could have ever flown. Just the thought of seeing an airplane or an airport gave me chemical fear (all benzo related). I remember questioning if I could ever fly again, and as I healed that horrible chemical fear abated. I remember last February walking into a supermarket wearing sunglasses, feeling anxiety, having jelly legs, experiencing fear of the cashier and feeling that my CNS could not handle being in a large bright supermarket. Almost one year later I was walking around a very busy airport, standing in long lines patiently, going through security, pushing my suitcase while people were banging into me, and I had absolutely NO fear of flying. It felt wonderful being in a busy airport and so MUCH healing has taken place in one year. It's truly amazing how our brains DO return to homeostasis and our GabaA receptors do grow back. Healing is truly amazing!!

 

When I used to travel to visit my mom who is sick with Dementia and PD I used to wake up in the mornings always feeling a little blue. I just assumed it was due to seeing my mom being sick. Last week I noticed that despite my mom still being sick I was waking up every morning VERY happy. It was the Valium that was making me feeling blue, the infamous poison that I was taking.

 

I am still sleeping 8 hours a night and when I went to visit my mom it was the first time I slept out of my bed since going off a Benzo. My sleep was not effected by this in any way. I have now become a great sleeper and I can sleep anywhere without having to take a Valium or anything at 3:00 AM.

 

Life continues to be wonderful. I feel FRANTASTIC, I am VERY happy and I am living my life just like I always did. I just had my one year physical and all of my blood work was normal. I kept thinking that perhaps something odd would show up since I c/t'd off a benzo but I was wrong. In fact my blood work results happened to be the best in 5 years because I have been eating so healthy.

 

While reflecting over the last year I am forever grateful that I am healed. All of the horrible s/x's are beginning to be a distant memory. I recently found my Benzo journal where I recorded all of my s/x's daily. I could not bring myself to read it. Once you are healed it seems Benzo hell is in the past and the future is all about living your life to the fullest and enjoying it. I realized that I have a different perspective and outlook upon life. Little things that I once thought that seemed important to me no longer are. Once you are healed you feel reborn again and your life has a different meaning.

 

I often think of everyone on this site. I want everyone who is suffering or just starting out on a taper to never doubt for one moment that you won't heal. My advice is to eat healthy, distract yourself, accept benzo healing and exercise if you can. I still believe that it was all of the exercise that I was able to do that helped expedite my healing.

 

I am wishing everyone on BB a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR and only good health in 2016!!

Fran 

 

 

[[dr...]]

Great update Fran!

[[Ar...]]

What a New Year's gift to read your post.  Thank you and bless you. Wishing you peace and joy for the new year. 

[[ma...]]

Thank you for the update Fran, I am so pleased everything is going well for you.

 

Magrita 

[[Al...]]

Thank you Magrita-Thank you for always promptly answering my questions.

 

Happy New Year!

[[Ca...]]

So pleased for you Fran! Your success has been helpful to many of us here. I am heading toward six months free with short glimpses of wellness. I'm walking as much as I can and eating well...thanks you for the advice and support. Inspirational!

 

Much joy to you as you move on.

 

Warmly,

 

Carita

[[an...]]

Congrats!  What a happy ending.  Enjoy and thanks for giving those still struggling hope. 

[[ml...]]

Thank you friend for the PM. I am so elated to hear all this goodness in your life...man, 2015 was one wild year indeed! Congrats on 12 months! You are an overcomer and victorious indeed! Isn't it amazing to see what 12 months can bring. It's like there was 2 different people that went thru this as I look back. 11 months today for me...I feel great and know it will be even better in 2016. We made it, we did it, we are free.

 

Much love and wish you a beautiful happy life Fran. Thank you for ALL your help this last year and for just being there ❤️

[[Cl...]]

Fran, Congratulations! I am very happy to read You are doing Frantastic! Thank You! Many of us do like good and positive posts! Happy 2016!!!

[[Al...]]

Yesterday I experienced a milestone and I thought it would be prudent to share my story with everyone on BB.

 

My entire life I never liked going to the dentist (seriously who does?) I've had 7 root canals, lots of crowns and I even lost a molar three years after having a root canal. I always go to the dentist for my 6 month cleanings however, the infamous drill is what always made me fearful of the dentist. For the past 10 years I always took 5 mg of valium whenever I was having dental work performed. One of my crowns was loose and there was decay underneath my crown. My dentist told me if he could not save my tooth I would need to have the tooth pulled and then I would need an implant. OUCH! I started to feel concerned about my dental appointment which was scheduled for next Monday. I am currently 53 weeks of a benzo, healed and I knew that I could NOT take even a sliver of Valium to get through my dental appt, it was simply NOT an option.

 

I repeatedly told myself that if I could heal from a benzo c/t I could survive my dental appointment w/o taking a Valium. I decided to take my nano with me which was my security blanket. I also decided it would be best to rip off the bandaid and face my dental fear now instead of waiting till this coming Monday. I called my dentist and I bravely moved my appt up.

 

Once I arrived at my dentist's office I felt serenity and calmness come over me. My dentist is very nice and he was most compassionate about coming off a benzo. I requested a non-epinephrine novocaine (this was the first drug I took in 53 weeks) and of course I had no idea how I would respond to it. I am happy to report that I had no reaction to it and the entire procedure despite being 2 1/2 hours long was SMOOTH SAILING! I had no anxiety while lying in the chair, I felt so calm and I never even listened to my music.

 

If anyone would have told me that I could sit through a lengthly dental procedure calmly and not have to rely upon taking a Valium I would never have believed them. When we are healing from a benzo we are dealing with chemical fear due to our brains not being balanced. I recently read that benzo fear is "false evidence appearing real".  Next time you are experiencing benzo fear keep telling yourself this, and this too shall pass. 

 

After coming off a benzo we realize that we can do anything in life. One year ago I was fearful of the cashier at the supermarket and yesterday I was able to have a dental procedure without taking a Valium. The brain is truly amazing and healing is a beautiful thing. The greatest challenge that I have ever faced was coming off a benzo and now I can successfully face any challenge or obstacle in my life, and SO WILL YOU!!

 

Always Frantastic:)

[[ml...]]

Fran, this is just amazing and really does prove, we really do move past this horrible, life altering experience and become stronger from it.  :thumbs:

 

I remember a couple months back, sharing with a fellow BB about F E A R...false evidence appearing real. It is so very true.

Thanks for sharing and I too believe, those of us that have chosen to get thru this and get to the other side and especially a CT, we can handle anything! This makes a soldier out of you for sure!

 

Blessings,

Lysa

[[Ar...]]

Wonderful reading your post.  You give me so much hope.  Thank you.  Best wishes to you. 

[[68...]]

I don't visit the forum often, even though I am so glad I found it.... Even when I visit I only read success stories... I am so appreciative I found your post Fran!!! I read it over and over again and I cannot tell you how much it encourages me. I am trying to work exercise in regularly (I worked out regularly before the benzo drama)... And I am currently reading Spark. I just had to say thank you thank you