Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group

[[ro...]]

Hi All:

 

Amy:  I tried to go on two short overnite trips in July and Aug.  The plan blew up on me.  Had WD sxs at nite and into the next day.  It seems the stress of going away implodes the WD process again.  I am shooting for a small trip in April when I hit my one year anniversary.  Hopefully, that will be enough time for more healing. 

 

Sorry to hear you, Marry, and Pan are getting slammed.  When one is in a good window, it so stinks when the wave hits.  It is still difficult to accept but that's what will help us get through. 

 

Mimi:  Thanks for the info from Perse's site.  I needed to read that today.  In the last week or so, I made (4) to the rec center to work out and each and every nite after the workouts, I had WD sxs come on in the nite and get a crummy nite's sleep.  I can walk and hike ouside with no problems though -- go figure.  I guess my road needs less traffic (maybe a detour even) and more workers still.  (I love that analogy).  And I agree with you on "can't bully our bodies."  SOOOO true!

 

Angel:  Thank you for sharing your experience with no benzo before the colonoscopy and the propanafol for the procedure.  I will remember to go that route instead of ever getting another benzo for any reason (unless I'm comatose LOL).  Hope you continue to heal -- it would be a very nice gift.

 

I'm still plugging away at 8+ months off.  Dec. started off like Sept for me.  I think I am in a two month cycle -- better windows for two months and then WHAM again.  That seems to be the pattern for me. 

 

Onward and upward -- marching towards our one year anniversaries.  Only time will tell - and we know that's what we need now. 

 

Cheers,

Rocko

[[ro...]]

Jittery:

 

I'm so happy to hear you are sleeping better!  And you sound much more optimistic and positive.  YEAH!!

 

All good!

Rocko

[[ve...]]

Hi all recovering post benzo pepes.  Glad to read that many of you are starting to turn the corner on some symptoms.  When you're out a couple years like me, you start to not even think about the month anniversaries . This last one on December 12th just passed me by and I only just realized it's 25 months post benzo a few days later, woot woot! 

 

At this time a year ago, I was just over a year off and had some pretty high anxiety still.  I think the holidays stress me out as I've been having two issues resurface this week.  First, the tingling in my forehead where I had Shingles has been bothering me a bit. It's not painful, just a mild itching/tingling sensation and is not really benzo caused though I consider it benzo related in the sense that I think I first got the Shingles due to the vulnerability to stress after the taper ended.  Sleep has been a little worse this week too.  A couple 3AM wake ups and also still sleep til only around 5:30AM even if I don't have to be up before 6:30 or 7AM .

 

Maybe this time of year is just a little stressful in general, with all the shopping, the holiday parties and get togethers, travel, family meetings...  I know the holidays tend to stress me out on a number of levels and would advise that one take deep breaths and try to go easy if you're recently (up to six months) off the benzo.  At this time of year, family gatherings  can really push buttons as some family seem to know us the best and know our vulnerabilities.  One would hope there are at least some who can be and are supportive.

 

Well, hope you all have a wonderful holiday season, Merry Christmas and Happy healthy new year to all .

 

 

Vertigo

[[km...]]

Happy Holidays Veritgo!!!

Hugs

Kristin

[[mt...]]

Good to hear from you Verti and thanks for the reminder on Holidays and stress! Last week I spent 4 hours shopping at Macys.  I guess that is the good and bad news!  No way I could have done this last year or even a few months ago.  But really who needs to spend 4 hours shopping!  I did have a fun day out with Daughter in law.  After shopping we went stopped at a wonderful restaurant for dinner.  It was so encouraging to have a sliver of my old life back.  I spent the next day in bed wrapping presents...sipping tea and watching old movies.  Now thats the part of Christmas I like...

 

I am struggling to get the tree completed.  It used to be a work of art that took days to complete.  Now I am content to just have a tree up!  So much that I used to focus on I now say uh not something I want to get stressed over.... which I think is a good thing.  I want a stress free life moving forward...it just isn't worth the price we pay.

 

Hope everyone here is finding some peace and love to celebrate...which is what the Holidays are for!

 

Blesssing for love and peace to all

Mimi

 

 

[[le...]]

HI Verti, http://i1187.photobucket.com/albums/z393/leslie0616/smiley_emoticons_xmas_kilroy_kamin.gif

 

Thanks for stopping by my blog to congratulate me on my benzo freedom. As you can see from my ticker today is day 12 since I stepped off. I can tell my cns is extremely sensitive right now but I'm feeling better than I thought I would be. Anyway I just wanted to stop by and thank you for all of your support and to wish you a Happy Holiday.

 

Love,

Leslie

[[le...]]

Hi Post Benzos Withdrawal folks,

 

I don't want to get myself into a panic but I guess I need to hear from others. I took some magnesium yesterday hoping it would help with constipation. Anyway I've been wired ever since. Too wired to nap or sleep. A day later it doesn't seem to have worked it's way out of my system. Do you think I set myself back by taking this supplement? It's been only a day but I'm feeling just as wired or more so than yesterday.

 

Thanks,

Leslie

[[li...]]

It just takes a couple of days to settle down.  We are better off not taking anything Legos.  Linder

[[...]]

Hey Buddios- great posts and insights. i think the holiday spirit is knocking me around for sure.  i am so darn amped that i just feel sick

jittery - i have the dry eyes too!

i have to get up in the middle of the night and splash them with water

 

this is truly an unbelievable process.  so good to not feel alone in it.

 

[[gi...]]

Hi Post Benzos Withdrawal folks,

 

I don't want to get myself into a panic but I guess I need to hear from others. I took some magnesium yesterday hoping it would help with constipation. Anyway I've been wired ever since. Too wired to nap or sleep. A day later it doesn't seem to have worked it's way out of my system. Do you think I set myself back by taking this supplement? It's been only a day but I'm feeling just as wired or more so than yesterday.

 

Thanks,

Leslie

 

Leslie,

 

You're probably constipated as a result of w/d. Supplements in general are often not tolerated for quite some time after completing w/d. For me it was about 6 months; everyone is different.  Try taking fiber instead. Metamucil or a generic could help, but if you can eat high fiber bread, oats or apples, that would give you better nutrition.

 

You have not suffered a setback. I firmly believe there is no such thing, not in post-benzo world. Unless you take another benzo, it's not possible to have a setback.

 

You are very, very early in your process. You will have many ups and downs emotionally and physically, symptoms coming and going, maybe some rough, maybe some mere blips on the radar. YOu could be "done" with the whole thing in a  month; you could be still in the process in 6 months or longer.  Anything can happen in the coming months. Nothing is absolute; healing is not linear.  Please try not to question every physical problem, or second-guess every OTC, food, supplement or vitamin you take.

 

Hang in there, and keep the faith: it will get better. It does get better.

 

I'm 3 weeks shy of being 3 years out. Trust me, I know what I'm saying!

 

Happy Holidays -

 

ginger

 

 

[[Ch...]]

Ginger,

 

Not to highjack this thread, but your post was very helpful and made me feel better in the depth of a very bad withdrawal cycle.  Thank you.

[[ve...]]

HI Verti, http://i1187.photobucket.com/albums/z393/leslie0616/smiley_emoticons_xmas_kilroy_kamin.gif

 

Thanks for stopping by my blog to congratulate me on my benzo freedom. As you can see from my ticker today is day 12 since I stepped off. I can tell my cns is extremely sensitive right now but I'm feeling better than I thought I would be. Anyway I just wanted to stop by and thank you for all of your support and to wish you a Happy Holiday.

Love,

Leslie

 

Hi Leslie.  Welcome to the Post Benzo Freedom thread.  At 12 days off, it's not surprising that your CNS is sensitive.  Important thing is you've made it off and each day ahead will put distance between you and that benzo poison. Yes, each day may not be great, setbacks and waves might occur as you move forward.  you might feel wired for a while regardless of vitamins you take.  I agree with others that it's best to stay away from too many supplements for a few months.  I had a reaction to B complex.  Some don't do well with magnesium or other things.  Try to eat healthy foods, get rest when you need it and your health will gradually improve. 

 

Continued healing into the new year,

 

,

 

Vertigo

 

 

[[le...]]

Linder, Ginger, & Verti,

 

Great posts, thanks. Ginger I especially needed to be told not to second guess everything I eat. I've been second guessing myself through life and look at where it got me.

 

The constipation has plagued me throughout my taper and now that I'm off my colon has come to a screeching halt. I've tried everything to get things moving including  fiber, water, probiotics, prune juice and aloe vera just to name a few. I tried the magnesium because I know it's helped a lot of folks on the forum.

 

Thanks again for the encouraging posts.

 

Leslie 

[[Wi...]]

Legos

 

I have two IB diseases in addition to w/d and have all kinds of gut issues.  One thing you didn't mention was canteloup.  I know that sounds simple, or perhaps you've already tried it and perhaps it won't help, but I've found it effective for that purpose, plus there areso many reasons it's a good food.  I consider it a power food in my tool arsenal.

 

Luck...

 

WWWI

[[mt...]]

HI Leslie,

Hope your "wiredness" is passing.  I know the fear of watching each and every ache, pain, change in  our body and worrying.  You will have ebbs and flows but it all gets better and better.  It could be a response to the magnesium or just the planning of traveling and seeing your sister.  We are just so sensitive.  But with time we can add more and more and feel less and less as a result.  I was able to shop for 4 hours at Macys when 5 months ago I could not talk on the phone for very long.  Main thing is as Vertigo said, "You are done"!  Isn't it wonderful to just not have to dose each day.  That felt like a miracle to me!  I am sending prayers to you and your sister.

 

WWWI -thanks for the reminder.  I craved cantelope for MONTHS last year.  I could not eat enough...and then the scare with bacteria and I took a break and forgot about how great I felt when eating this each morning.  I would grind whole flax seed and sprinkle on top of cantaloupe...it was wonderful!  I think I will head out and get some if I can find it.  I try and eat all organic and that is limited this time of year.

 

Hope everyone is remembering to take it easy and enjoy the simpler aspects of the season. 

 

Happy Holidays to all

Mimi

[[Li...]]

Hey everyone. I'm in the process of studying like mad for a huge exam (expensive, extensive, and 4 hours long) next week, and I'm kind of freaking out!! The only good news is that the fatigue that has been one of my worst withdrawal symptoms is pretty much gone, since I am amped up like crazy right now. Fortunately I've been able to study and retain most of what I'm needing to, but there's still room for improvement! I've been MAJORLY procrastinating studying for this bad boy, and I'm paying for it now. I can only hope I'll continue to be able to sleep okay and make the most of the study time I've got in the next few days. I'm not at all ready for the holidays, and working lots of overtime (need that money), so I guess I should just be glad that I'm in as good of shape as I am...I am honestly PRAYING for things not to go downhill between now and then though. This level of stress, for this length of time, could be bad, so I'm really trying to breathe and slow down and realize that it's actually NOT life and death even though it kinda feels like it.

 

Thanks so much for listening and sharing and being out there! Wishing everyone a fantastic holiday season filled with healing and love.

 

Libby

[[gi...]]

Ginger,

 

Not to highjack this thread, but your post was very helpful and made me feel better in the depth of a very bad withdrawal cycle.  Thank you.

 

I'm glad I could help. God knows something good needs to come out of my Time in Hell!

 

[[ve...]]

Hey everyone. I'm in the process of studying like mad for a huge exam (expensive, extensive, and 4 hours long) next week, and I'm kind of freaking out!! The only good news is that the fatigue that has been one of my worst withdrawal symptoms is pretty much gone, since I am amped up like crazy right now. Fortunately I've been able to study and retain most of what I'm needing to, but there's still room for improvement! I've been MAJORLY procrastinating studying for this bad boy, and I'm paying for it now. I can only hope I'll continue to be able to sleep okay and make the most of the study time I've got in the next few days. I'm not at all ready for the holidays, and working lots of overtime (need that money), so I guess I should just be glad that I'm in as good of shape as I am...I am honestly PRAYING for things not to go downhill between now and then though. This level of stress, for this length of time, could be bad, so I'm really trying to breathe and slow down and realize that it's actually NOT life and death even though it kinda feels like it.

Thanks so much for listening and sharing and being out there! Wishing everyone a fantastic holiday season filled with healing and love.

Libby

 

Hi Libby.  That's impressive that you've been able to study for a test, despite some procrastination .  Awesome to be able to retain so much.  Those benzos sure did a number on us. I have found some improvements in memory by going over some books on the subject of learning to associate and visualize better than before benzos.  Also very smart to take a broader perspective that the test, the holiday stress... is not "life or death".  The benzos had a tendency to get me thinking "fight or flight" and I realized that it's really not all that critical to make a mistake or forget something once in a while. I was somewhat of a perfectionist before I got into the benzo ride.  I've learned through the last couple years that acceptance is a far greater asset to have than a "perfect performance" or memory for that matter.  The OCD in me can't help but notice that this thread has reached it's 200th page.  It only goes to show that benzo recovery is a gradual process, not a destination.

 

Good luck and Happy Holidays!

 

Vertigo

[[Fl...]]

Hi Ginger,

 

I just read your post and I want to say thank you. I am 14 months out and still having a lot of w/s. I thought by this year things would be better. Yes there have been small improvements over the last year but they are so little and it is taking so long. I feel like this is never going to get any better and I will be left behind. I am still not totally convinced that I will heal in time but your post does help. It is reassuring to hear that you are healing more and more with time. Thanks again.

 

Rain

[[km...]]

Libby,

Very impressive and good luck on the test!!!

 

Hugs

Kristin

[[gi...]]

Hi Ginger,

 

I just read your post and I want to say thank you. I am 14 months out and still having a lot of w/s. I thought by this year things would be better. Yes there have been small improvements over the last year but they are so little and it is taking so long. I feel like this is never going to get any better and I will be left behind. I am still not totally convinced that I will heal in time but your post does help. It is reassuring to hear that you are healing more and more with time. Thanks again.

 

Rain

 

 

I got discouraged many times over many months, wondering "when" and "what if -?" Then I stopped wondering, accepted, and moved on.  That was when I really started feeling "better." 

 

Hang in there - just keep living your life as best you can!

 

ginger

[[...]]

hi buds - i get a great deal of hope from this thread; thank you

 

have u tried prunes?  or smooth move tea; 

 

thanks for being there

[[Li...]]

Thank you Kristin and Vertigo! I have no idea what I was thinking scheduling my exam between CHRISTMAS and NEW YEARS, but, here we are...you guys will definitely be one of the first groups of people to know if I pass. Happy holidays to all!

 

Love,

 

Libby

[[ro...]]

Hi Libby:

 

Hope you do great on your upcoming test.  I know that's bearing down on you but I hope you ace it completely. 

 

I had a zero sleep nite last nite and this a.m., into full blown achy, benzorhhea, down in the dumps mode.  I had the racing thoughts last nite which is the most difficult sxs for me.  I know the stress of Christmas has brought me down.  I found out a week ago, I was to host the Christmas Eve family gathering and that just put me into spin mode.  Too much to do and too little time to get it all done. 

 

I'll let family members know tomorrow a.m. if I have to cancel the dinner or not.  Hopefully, I can spring back into action with a good nite's sleep tonight and the WD sxs gone by tomorrow a.m.  ...hoping for this but too sure that will happen. 

 

I have not taken mimi's good advice to "not bully" our healing process.  I will take extra time to commit to near future stuff. 

 

I hadn't had a zero nite since Oct. 12th so well over two months ago. :'(  Benzo stuff does not respect time intervals. 

 

Rocko

[[mt...]]

Hi Rocko,

I am also "feeling" the stress from all the Christmas activity.  It has been great to be able to engage in so many things that were impossible over the past 2 years.  I have shopped cooked cleaned and decorated but definately feel the effects of so much stimulation.  I am sleeping well but I wake with tinnitus and some feelings of blah..extreme lack of energy during the day. I also have sme heart palps which I have not had for months and months.  Its all bearable but a bit discouraging.  I am planning on taking it easy for the next 2 days so I can be at my best for Christmas.

 

I hope you can get some help with the dinner.  Can you order in food?  Pay a teenager to come over and help out to clean things up and set table?

Or maybe just tell family this year you are still just to sensitive but you can take it on NEXT year.  No way I could host a party this year.  NO WAY.  But I am baking and will be able to bring dessert to dinner at my son's in laws.  I could not have baked a thing last year so that is a big change this year!

 

I feel for you.  I know how much we all want to get back to our old selves and life pre benzos.  Hang in there and take good care of yourself!

Bless you

Mimi