Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group

[[ve...]]

Vertigo,

And a happy Sunday to you, as well.  I'll be gone for most of the day so I want to say best wishes as you fully re-enter the real world.  Your contribution here has been priceless.  Time is priceless...

Challis 

 

Many thanks Challis.  Sorry I've only just gotten to connect with you recently, but good luck with the heart healthy lifestyle!

 

 

Vertigo

[[ve...]]

Take care Verti! We'll do our best to keep this thread alive without you. Best wishes in your real life!

 

 

Libby

 

Hope you find every happiness online and offline too, Libby.  If the thread remains useful to others, I hope it will be available to them and those of you who have frequented it .

 

All my best,

 

Vertigo

[[ve...]]

Just checking in so say a "final" farewell to my ole buddy Vertigo.  Thanks for the memories.  Never could have made it without you.  Here's a little song for you that sums it up.

 

 

Travel safe cowboy!

Mimi

 

Very sweet, Mimi. Thanks for the link.  I hope you will have a great summer and happy trails wherever they may take you too.

 

 

Vertigo

[[ve...]]

So long everybody.

 

 

Vertigo

[Guest [...]]

hang on Verti

 

I hope I havent missed you want to say goodbye again and good luck and thanks for all the help and support you have given to the forum over the years Im sure you have helped so many.  thanks for paying it forward.

 

take care and enjoy yourself.

 

Lizzyxx

[[ve...]]

hang on Verti

 

I hope I havent missed you want to say goodbye again and good luck and thanks for all the help and support you have given to the forum over the years Im sure you have helped so many.  thanks for paying it forward.

take care and enjoy yourself.

Lizzyxx

 

Thanks Lizzy.  I appreciate the well wishes.  I'm on the phone but will try to be back in a bit before the final farewell...

 

V

[[st...]]

Have a wonderful life, Vertigo.  I wish you and your family all the best.

 

Patty  xo

[[ve...]]

Have a wonderful life, Vertigo.  I wish you and your family all the best.

Patty  xo

 

Thanks Patty.  I hope you will continue to heal and I wish you health,  joy and peace in life moving forward.

 

 

Vertigo

[[ve...]]

Well, it's about 9:30PM Eastern standard time on Sunday, June 3rd, 2012.  3 years ago, I came to this forum after having tapered down from 6 to 2mg, perhaps a little bit on the rapid side.  I discovered that I needed to hold for a few weeks to stabilize before continuing onward.  If you've read any of my story on this thread, you know that it was rough going at the end of my taper (family and health problems) which complicated my recovery.

 

My healing was not linear but rather involved several setbacks in the first year or so off. Yet gradually, things have improved and gotten to a point where I can say that I am ready to move on.  Honestly, I could have left forum a year ago but many buddies encouraged me to stay on and continue to help some others along the way, which I have done. 

 

The time has come to get back more fully into my life offline.  I will try to return in six months to post a final 3 year summary of how things are going.  I hope that anyone who might come across this post or thread, will realize that we do heal from benzo dependency.  It may take a while for GABA to rejuvenate or for the nervous system to settle down, but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

 

God Bless,

 

Vertigo

[[ro...]]

Thanks V -- we will miss you but understand your need to move forward with family and life. 

 

Pange; thanks for taking over at the helm.  You have helped me through this journey and while I don't feel very far along sometimes, I know I am much better than this time last year.   

 

Best regards,

Rocko

[[pa...]]

hi Rocko

Thanks for the vote of confidence! I'm not nearly as frequent a poster as Vertigo, but I'll try just the same to help any buddy who may need help or advise. Congratulations Rocko on remaining benzo free!

Many of the supplements and  treatments I've seen discussed here I'm simply not familiar with. Besides small amounts of remeron (an A/D), I've also used melatonin at night to help with sleep. As for treatment, a good old stationary bike helps me work off tension and extra pounds.

 

Right now, I'm in the midst of getting through the end of school with my kids. My daughter is graduation from middle school. She has been chosen salutatorian and will be making a speech. I will be singing at the event.

 

Yes, there have been recent hard challenges to my post benzo recovery. Vertigo knows about this. Let's just say that life keeps going... Life involvement can sometimes backfire even when it's intention is good.

 

To all recovering post benzo buddies out there, I wish the greatest of weeks! I'll pop by this thread throughout the week and check for replies and questions.

My best to all!

 

 

[[mt...]]

Wow sure feels kinda lonely around here without Vertigo!  Feels like an end to an era for me.  He was my tapering buddy from almost day 1.  I remember when he stepped off and it took me many many more months and now here we are both done and moving onward.  I feel like we are ALL like "old soldiers" who have had each others "backs" in some of the darkest nights of our lives.  Hard to say goodbye.  Whats the saying..."gone but not forgotten".

 

It has really been a gift having so many "buddies" that have made this journey less frightening and inspirational at times.

 

May we all continue to support each other as we heal and others that are still on the path to benzo freedom!

 

All my best

Mimi

 

[[mp...]]

Here I am, a c/t, and he was so gracious to me too. Everyone who had a rapport with this true gentleman is very lucky indeed to have had such a partner in this wild experience.

 

M.

[[An...]]

Wow sure feels kinda lonely around here without Vertigo!  Feels like an end to an era for me.  He was my tapering buddy from almost day 1.  I remember when he stepped off and it took me many many more months and now here we are both done and moving onward.  I feel like we are ALL like "old soldiers" who have had each others "backs" in some of the darkest nights of our lives.  Hard to say goodbye.  Whats the saying..."gone but not forgotten".

 

It has really been a gift having so many "buddies" that have made this journey less frightening and inspirational at times.

 

May we all continue to support each other as we heal and others that are still on the path to benzo freedom!

 

All my best

Mimi

 

I agree Mimi - it was kind of comforting having him around but I bet he will sneak in and check the thread from time to time - it does become a kind of addiction in itself!

 

How are you doing?  I am almost 14 months off, don't know what is the matter with me, whether it is w/ds or not as am still not right.  I still get this morning cortisol rush, some depression, almost constant GI problems, very fatigued, quite yukky - can't explain it.  It seems to wear off in the evening, it's weird.  Was wondering whether it could be the antidepressants although I am still on a low dose 75mg - I am thinking of decreasing it to 37.5mg - am a bit worried to come off it altogether to be honest in case I get another panic attack which is what happened last time.

 

I don't feel that bad, but I don't feel that good either if you know what I mean and don't know whether it still can be w/ds.

 

Hope everyone else doing well.

 

Luv

Angel

[[pa...]]

Hi Angel

I don't recall which A/D you take? The one I use is Remeron  and I take these in small doses.

I too have had some bad nerves lately due to an ongoing situation at my kids school. There has been some hard bullying directed at my son by some kids in his class and my wife and I have been in the midst of trying to get the problem rectified.

My CNS really did not need this kind of an issue especially when those kids who are involved should have been dismissed long ago. Makes me feel rather betrayed by the school.

Anyway, the resulting stress has been rather hard on me and I've had some old benzo symptoms pop up once again. School is just about out now (next week) so at least I can count on that.

 

 

[[An...]]

Sorry to hear about the bullying issues Pange - that is a tough one because some parents are unresponsive to people telling them about their own kids' behaviour (ie parents of the kids bullying yours)  We also went through it with our boys (being bullied) - but it all sorts itself out in the end as we will hopefully!

 

Take care

 

Angel

[[mt...]]

HI Angel

I am doing pretty well.  I think I mentioned that I am working with a new Dr and just had my blood work done.  I was amazed to learn my B12 was SO LOW.  Most Dr's do not consider this and sure enough all of my previous work done with GP over the past few years did not look at B12.  I guess in this country the low normal levels are considered very deficient in other countries.  I think this expalins some of my fatigue and other annoying symptoms. 

 

From reading I have learned that B12 can become an issue as we age as we have less digestive enzymes which help with "absorption".  I am taking a sublingual supplement and will recheck at the end of the month.  Other than that I am struggling to exercise a bit each day.  I tend to overdo it and that makes me feel worse.  If I hit just the right amount I feel better.  So gently working my way back....but it is slow.  I have also recently cut all gluten from diet and that has helped immensely with intestinal issues and over all sense of well being.  I am eating brown rice bread (called slice of life) and using brown rice tortillas.  So far I am not missing regualr bread at all.  I actually LOVE the brown rice tortillas.

 

Pange-I hate the bullying at schools.  One of my kids was having an issue and I went to the school and cornered the kid myself and said "one more word form you and you will be dealing with me-BIG TIME." I actually followed him home in my car so he knew I meant business and let his parent know what was going on.  That seemed to scare them enough to stay away from my kid.  Unfortunately I am sure they just moved on to some other unfortunate soul.  Most bullies fold pretty fast when confronted but when in a pack it can be a real issue.  I hope you stay on the school and get things resolved. 

 

Off to get some work done!

Mimi

[[An...]]

Mimi. That's very interesting. I think the US is quite big on what you call bloodwork. In the UK and,as far as I know, here in Spain I don't think doctors consider it. I guess it is something you need to arrange privately.

 

I am fatigued and I have GI issues. Are you saying that a B12 supplement may help?  If so I shall go and get one straight away.

 

Thanks

 

Angel

[[mt...]]

Hi Annie

I would ask a Dr for a simple B12 blood test to see what your levels are at currently.  If you are low you can either get shots or take supplements.  My Dr recommended the Jarrow brand Methyl B12.  You want the Methyl as it is the "active" form. 

 

I am reading the book "Could it be B12?" and am amazed at how many of the symptoms of a B12 deficiency resemble benzo w/d symptoms.  You can check it out on Amazon.  I wonder if I have been deficient for a while and perhaps that is why I had to taper SO SLOW. 

 

Who knows at this point.  I am very happy that I am on getting my levels up as long term B12 deficiency can cause permanent damage.  Always amazed at how much there is to learn to stay healthy. 

 

Hope you feel better soon!

Mimi 

[[pa...]]

A big hi to angel and mtmimi!

 

Thanks for your support and concerns. This issue has been going on with these kids and my son for at least half this school year. It actually grew to be quite serious. We had a  field trip a few weeks ago and when I had to discipline one of the two (they are brothers) they went to my son and threatened that their parents might sue me for something I didn't do. A few days later, we had a local policeman at our house who told us that these two boys have a history here in town and that in his professional opinion, we should completely stay away from the family as they love to retaliate. Also, the father has a  history of violence and is on probation.

 

It seems that my son has been ostricized by his classmates because of these two boys (they are great at manipulation). We already had a meeting with the school principal. The bottom line is that our son will not go back to that school if these two boys come back. I have already heard that they will be going to a different school next year. So, I think this issue is going to resolve soon.

 

In the meantime, my nerves have been quite shot although I can still enjoy the distraction of all the other things that are going on right now: a visit from my Mom and her husband; an awards ceremony at the school (my daughter had several) and a big graduation tomorrow. We will be having company over (my in-laws, my Mom and husband and other friends). I will be singing at the service. The next day, I plan to visit and spend time with my Mom before they fly back.

 

It's been quite a mix and I'll be glad when school is over! Hope all the post benzo buddies are doing well. Thanks again for the support.

 

 

[[ib...]]

The time has come to get back more fully into my life offline.  I will try to return in six months to post a final 3 year summary of how things are going.  I hope that anyone who might come across this post or thread, will realize that we do heal from benzo dependency.  It may take a while for GABA to rejuvenate or for the nervous system to settle down, but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

 

God Bless,

 

Vertigo

 

Hi V,

 

I hope by some chance you pop in and  read this post.... I am going to miss reading all of your posts. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all that you have done for me,  I know I would never have been able to make it without your support.  Take care and enjoy your new life.

 

PS: My cruise was amazing.... I am looking forward to your 3 year summary

 

God Bless

Ibmom

[[An...]]

Mimi - thanks for the advice on B12 - I am going to get a test done and take it from there.

 

Pange - thanks for taking over the helm of this thread. Love hearing your news! I can understand your stress issues.  I think that many of us caught in the benzo trap were sensitive peeps beforehand anyway and that is part of our make-up.  Sounds like the bullying issue will resolve itself but when your child hurts, you hurt.  Not good.

 

Ibmom - glad you enjoyed your cruise, where did you go?  Also how did you cope?  Are you fully recovered now?  I am off on a cruise in a couple of weeks to the Norwegian Fjords (we planned it ages ago when I was sure I would be feeling A1 - I am not but hope I get through it anyway - I wish I had more motivation!!  We also have a second cruise coming up next February in the Caribbean - we have been a couple of times before but really looking forward to doing it again.  We fly London to Fort Lauderdale and go from there.

 

Have a good week everyone.

 

Angel

[[pa...]]

Hi all post benzo members!

 

Today is a big day for our family my daughter graduates and we have visitors from out of town.

 

I'm honored to sing at this event and I will say that singing has always been part of my therapy from life's ills.

Just a quick note on vitamin supplementation. I do include B-12 daily with a B complex. Also, Fish Oil, Calcium-Magnesium, C, and D. Vitamin D seems to be one that people in this part of the country (PacNW) tend to be low in due to lack of sunlight. Last I had blood work done, it showed I was low in D.

I still take melatonin at night before bedtime. Usually 1.5mg. I sometimes have alternating bedtimes due to irregular work schedule.

 

Angel and Ibmom, a cruise sounds wonderful! Someday, when it's just my wife and I, I'd love to take one. I've heard they even have 'poor man's' cruises to from Seattle to Alaska. These are ferries where people bring tents and sleep on deck. If one has the money, however, full accommodations are preferable.

 

I'll check back later through the week and see how things are going. Vertigo is gone for now, but the thread is still going strong!

[[no...]]

Hi everyone-

I am in need of a bit of perspective today. I am a bit over 9 months off k, and although most of my physical issues are now over, I am dealing with a huge amount of fear...almost a constant level of panicky semi-hysteria feeling inside. On the outside- I am working as have all through this, going to summer grad classes, exercising, yoga, therapy...all the stuff, but this dread/fear is 24/7 and hard to struggle with.

Any opinions on whether this is probably my old anxiety pre benzo- which could be pretty invasive at times, or could still be some w/d. Reason being- for me if it is mayber still w/d, then at some point it would lessen in intensity, but if its just"me", then I am not sure I could keep up the level of pushing it is taking to get through and act "ok".

I just feel so blanketed in terror, its extremely weird when I am sittting at work or interacting with people and all this awfulness is raging inside.

[[An...]]

Hi everyone-

I am in need of a bit of perspective today. I am a bit over 9 months off k, and although most of my physical issues are now over, I am dealing with a huge amount of fear...almost a constant level of panicky semi-hysteria feeling inside. On the outside- I am working as have all through this, going to summer grad classes, exercising, yoga, therapy...all the stuff, but this dread/fear is 24/7 and hard to struggle with.

Any opinions on whether this is probably my old anxiety pre benzo- which could be pretty invasive at times, or could still be some w/d. Reason being- for me if it is mayber still w/d, then at some point it would lessen in intensity, but if its just"me", then I am not sure I could keep up the level of pushing it is taking to get through and act "ok".

I just feel so blanketed in terror, its extremely weird when I am sittting at work or interacting with people and all this awfulness is raging inside.

 

I know I didn't take benzos as long as you did but I still went through the w/d process and I totally relate to the panicky fear feeling.  I really sympathise as it is simply awful especially when you are trying to work.  I found what really helped me was a betablocker which I am no longer on - it just took the edge of the panicy feeling.  I am not promoting them, just saying what helped me.

 

Apart from that, that awful feeling has waned substantially now (I am almost 14 months off)  I did have a reoccurence of it at 12 months for a couple of weeks during a really stressful family situation but it did subside.

 

So I personally think it is w/ds as the anxiety you have before doesn't really resemble the intensity of benzo w/d in my opinion.  I'm sure others will chip in.

 

Time is the essence.  Hope you feel better soon.

 

Angel