Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group

[[cu...]]

Someone mentioned earlier that anxiety can set off w/d, and I notice when I'm out and about I have withdrawal symptoms more than I'm at home...seems like I'm anxious without realizing it until I start having inner shaking and d/p's. The longer I go the fewer and further between these episodes come but I'm usually fine until I have a spell.

[[ho...]]

Hey cupcake...

 

actually........for me no anxiety hun...  

 

i dont know im thinkn maybe, maybe coulda been some chocolate easter eggs i had last night, and some today, plus skipped breakfast, which i never doo............ and i had some lipton ice flavored packet,thats sweetened w sucralose.. last night and today....you never know.. Some say sugar intake should be minimal....maybe revved up my symptoms im thinking. Eating well is important i know.. ahhhhhhhhhhh..

 

symptoms for now have settled.... was a weird day for me...

[[ve...]]

Just over four months post taper.  Had a couple glasses of wine on St. Pat's Day without increasing withdrawal symptoms.  Only thing is that I did not really feel "buzzed" in any way, just seemed to calm or numb things a bit, it was not that great a feeling but it wasn't "bad" per se either.   Last night, had some friends over and had 3/4 glass of red wine before and during dinner.  No issues so far, slept well.  I'm not a heavy drinker and do not advocate drinking.  That being said, having a choice to have a social drink on occasion (without wondering if its going to somehow start some sort of downturn or benzo regression) represents (for me anyway) a step towards healing in a sense.   By the way Hope, the chocolate Easter eggs would probably do me in, have had issues with chocolate especially at night.

 

Vertigo (no more)

[[pa...]]

I have to admit that I enjoy about 3/4 glass of a dark red wine in the evening. I had always heard that there were "health benefits" to these kinds of wines. I certainly don't advocate anyone start drinking (if they don't drink already), especially if they are having severe Benzo issuse. I usually pore a glass aronud 6:00pm and slowly drink it till about 9:00pm. I've never had any issues drinking wine this way. I rarely ever drink anything else besides this unless there's a special occasion. I then just use common sense. Whatever I drink, I just make sure to drink it slowly, and if I feel uncomfortable, I stop.

This Tues will be 5 weeks for me past Benzos. Overall, I feel pretty good although I tend to get exhausted, irritated, and don't always sleep well. The nerve tingling in my head and legs can sometimes bother me. I think I said it best on another post that "I have learned to respect (not fear) what my body is trying to tell me even if it feels like 'shouting'."

 

Hope everyone has a great day today!

[[cu...]]

So I'm looking at at least another week of these feelings? Exactly how long will it take for my GABA receptors to recover? Do all of them recover? If not, can I grow more? Sorry for the dumb questions, google doesn't pull up the answers to my questions LOL.

 

I hope I didn't taper too quick..I mean I felt absolutely great during my taper after I recovered from my CT, so is that a sign I done it right? Being as I let how I felt dictate how often I cut (usually 5 days at .25 mg cuts each) and how long I stayed before I cut. Took me about 2 weeks to come off of 1 mg per day for that I took for 3 weeks, before that I was taking only as needed for about 4-5 months and I was pregnant at the time, would that have an effect on how long it took for me to get addicted? I would go for days and days without my ativan then. When my baby was born, he didn't have any withdrawal symptoms, I was really worried about that.

 

I decided to stop working out until next month because I'm noticing as time wears on that I'm feeling soooo exhausted and the good days I have usually follow a one day break in the exercise. I've been dragging all day today from yesterdays workout.

[[pa...]]

Hi cupcake

I was looking at your history on your signature line. You had been taking Ativan for about 5 months. Sometimes daily, sometimes intermittently. You started a dry-taper in Feb and finished it up a few days ago. It appears to me that you had a rather quick taper. I do not imply that you should go back on the Ativan. If you have finished with this, all power to you!!!

I'm sorry if your w/d seems troublesome. I wish I could answer your questions more directly. I tried to councel another member through questions like these, and I'm affraid they became quite irrate. I will give you what info I have. I used the "Ashton method" for substitution/tapering. This is what Heather Ashton has to say about recovery: "The precise rate of w/d is an individual matter. It depends on many factors including the dose and type of benzo used, duration of use, personality, lifestyle, previous experience, specific vulnerabilities, and the (perhaps genetically determined) speed of your recovery systems. Usually the best judge is you, yourself; you must be in control and must proceed at the pace that is comfortable for you."

I hope this helps you. I can give you more info about the Ashton method, but it sounds like you are past this now.

I'm sorry I can't give you a time frame. I wish I had one for myself. I will tell you that the "windows" of feeling "normal" for me have been getting bigger and bigger over the last few weeks. Any discomfort that I feel at this point is usually pretty manageable.

Let me know if you have any more concerns. Take care, and please, be kind to yourself.

pangelingua

[[cu...]]

I suppose even if it were calculable, mine would be hard to calculate as I was so sporadic in taking it...sometimes I even took 1 mg while I was starting out on .5 if I was having bad anxiety.

 

I was actually just reading through the Ashton Manual but haven't gotten to that part yet. I see that it's quite common to fear that normalcy will never return.

[[...]]

Just wanted to let my BB friends know that I survived the weekend including a burial serice and a memorial service for my

mother-in-law, who passed away last Wednesday.

I did not reinstate, but believe me, I considered it due to severe anixety. 

We have all become pretty good actors, and I played my part.

Thank you all who came to my support.  You are truly appreciated.

-David

[[le...]]

Hello David,

 

Thank you so much for coming on and letting us know that you did, indeed, make it through that terribly difficult time.  I know that it is not over, but hopefully the worst of it is.  I have been praying for you and will continue to do so.  I am glad that you were able to make it through without reinstating, especially because of how hard you have worked to get to where you are.  That being said, if you had ended up reinstating...I don't think that any here would have responded in judgment towards you.  I think you have a real "family" here who cares about you as a "person" and not just as someone who has been able to "beat the benzo".

 

Please keep posting so that we can continue to encourage you however we can...even if from afar.

 

~Leena

[[mi...]]

Coming up to four months off and still going through the ringer ... there's been improvement, but no real windows yet ...

[[pe...]]

This Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group is EXACTLY, PRECISELY WHAT I NEEDED TODAY!!!

 

Thank you for your fabulous idea!!

 

I have been Klonopin free since 12/9/09 after a rather short taper.

The first days were pure hell, then things got better.  But lately, some of the old

symptoms of w/d have come back.  Not as bad, but they are back.  I was so discouraged

today - feeling dizzy again with the depersonalization, and that over all "out of it" feeling.

Even a little nausea.  Then I found you all, and I feel so much better just knowing that

this is just part of the process.  And it will get better.

 

To all who are still battling the taper process, please hang in there because it does get better.

We all have some setbacks, but with patience and determination, we get over them a move on!

 

Again, THANK YOU ALL.  You have given me the encouragement to keep going with hopes that

the best is yet to come!!!

 

We all must hang in there!!!

 

Tish

[[...]]

David, I have been thinking of you over the past few days.  I know it would have been so hard for you to get through probably your first "test" since being benzo free.  In many ways, the ultimate test - the passing of someone very close to you and your family.  You came through without leaning back on the benzo crutch - for that you deserve a medal (or is that an Oscar for the acting performance).  I can only imagine how tough it has been for you.  Take care.

 

Believe me I can understand the acting, I have become a truly great actor as well.  I had to put up a front yesterday when I was out all day and felt truly disgusting - lightheaded, nauseous and totally unwell.  I was truly drained last night, yet my system was so revved up I didn't get to sleep until 3am.  Have just had an afternoon nap, something I don't usually do, and I feel much better now.

 

Percussion, this thread is so designed for us.  I too have been slammed by the "out of it" feeling lately, five months off benzos, and was again beginning to doubt that I will ever be free from this nightmare.  This thread came at just the right time for me too.  Hang in there.

[[ho...]]

Hi all BB friends.......

 

So many of us posting in this great post benzo freedom w/d area..........

 

I wish we all didnt have to go thru this crazzy journey, thats sooo tough! w crazzy w/d symptoms..

 

Well ive been doing pretty decent , being off one month friday.... continued fatigue, sleep is no real pattern, i seem to be going bout 4 days of good sleep,then i will have few days of crappy sleep and revved up symptoms..yesterday was a weird day, of feeln "out of it" , bit of depersonlization, burning up, and temporarily faint.. my light sensitivity seemed to be getn better, but now its crazzy BAD again. in the stores!!! to the point it feels like im under a shining beaming light!!!!!!!!!!!! and makes me feel like im swayn, horrible.

 

i just wish also this buzzing under the skin, inner vibrations would stop, driving me bonkers.. anyone know why this lasts for some months after becoming benzo free????????!! could it be maybe my paxil at my lose dose causing me this problem as well, makes me wonder? tolerance w/d w this too, cuz have held at this silly low dose since sept, as per docs instructions to hold til i got off the benzos...I was tapering paxil before the benzos.. which took me 4 months to get to the 5mg.. been on paxil was a year feb.. Startn my paxil taper yesterday, liquid suspenion..

 

hugs

hope

[[...]]

Hi David and all - happy Monday!

 

David - thank you for dropping in and giving us an update when you have so much else to cope with, I have been thinking of you and your family and praying for you. What a thing you have achieved, to get through all of that without a benzo prop, I think you are truly amazing, be proud of yourself!

 

Wishing all my ptbb's a day full of wide open windows, I am now on day 5 of complete normality, I know the pit will return soon so I am enjoying the break whilst I can.

 

Take care all. Keep pushing forward.

 

Mxxxxx

 

 

[[ve...]]

Just to reiterate David that although you would have been supported had you reinstated, very happy to hear that you did not and that you survived the weekend . 

 

Glad you found this thread Tish at a time when you needed support.  It seems to have resonated with many folks who are off benzos but still feeling some withdrawal symptoms.  It's been helpful to me as well to know that others seem to have had similar experiences and that it is not a linear destination where one suddenly feels "all better" after the last dose.

 

Good on you MAA for the five day window .  May it continue forever.  Of course, it may not as you said, but its nice to have some good news for a change.

 

Good luck Hope with the next taper. Hope you get some relief from the fatigue soon.

 

I've had a pretty good weekend actually.  REM sleep was very active this weekend, vivid dreams and feeling pretty well rested this morning.  Several social engagements over the weekend and anxiety was there but tolerable  .  Even had a glass of wine and no negative impact.  Have a challenging series of engagements next month, will keep my fingers crossed.

 

Best all you non taperers ,

 

V (no more)

[[pa...]]

Hi David

So glad you got through this especially without the Benzos. Just knowing that you can experience hardship without these is a great confidence booster!!

I still recall my Dad's passing in Dec 2007. I had only been taking Clonazepam twice a week at .25mg. After his death, I was faced with numerous legal and personal issues so I began taking it daily to cope with the stress (with doctor approval). It took about 11 months of taking Clonazepam this way before the tolerance kicked in. I then found that I had new issues to deal with. Looking back, I realize that this was a tough situation. I strongly feel, however, that had I not gone to taking the Benzo daily, I got have gotten through these problems more easily. Anyway, David, I wish you the best and I hope you are finding times to enjoy yourself.

I am mostly doing well right now. This Tues will be 5 weeks for me. Mostly, I find myself feeling rather vulnerable to stress. I have a difficult daughter to deal with (she's a pre-teen now and also can be volatile at times); an unemployment situation (I quit a good paying government job last Jan because of stress issues at work plus w/d); and the daily stresses of trying to raise a family, pay bills, etc. I still get nerve tingling, tremors in the hands, bad headaches, muscle soreness and especially, irritability. None of these last to long, and so far, I can deal with this pretty well.

Here's to our group!! I hope you are all doing well!

Bye, for now, pangelingua

[[ho...]]

Hey V

 

thanks! day 3 paxil taper, of 4ml..from 5ml..............

 

very interested in anyones thoughts on my previous message, re the inner vibrations, tremors and re paxil??

 

appreciate it

thanks hope, waiting for anyones input, replies...

[[...]]

Hope, my understanding is that the receptors in the brain that the benzo has worked on are now without the benzo but still haven't returned to their pre benzo state yet, so all sorts of sensory phenomena occurs - depersonalization, vibrations and the like. That's why a cold turkey is so hard on the body; a slow taper allows the brain to slowly adjust to the deprivation of the benzo.

 

I was taking 25 mg of paxil 5 years ago, for 6 months. i didn't like it and stopped it. I took 6 days to taper, and never noticed any side effects - but then i was taking clonazepam. ( i don't think the almost ct was smart, in retrospect and don't advocate it).

[[ve...]]

Congrats on five weeks off Pan.  You and Hope are around the same time off it seems.  Tapering off the Paxil seems like worth a try now that you've been off a month Hope.  Continued healing to you both and to all of us.  I agree Bill about the slow taper.  Just a little disappointed (though not depressed) that even with a slow taper of ten months last year that things are not further along and for others, but windows are opening here at four months off so no complaints.  As Pan says, here's to our group !

 

V (no more)

[[pe...]]

Hope, I agree with Bill about the receptors and how they have to adjust to not having the benzos.  He explained it just right.

Any way you look at it, recovery from these benzos is a long process.  It is frustrating and discouraging at times, but at least

we know from others who have made it to the mountain-top that it will happen!!!  The inner vibrations and tremors are really

awful and I believe mostly benzo-withdrawal related.  Luckily for me, they were gone in about 2 months after my last

Klonopin.  Other s/x have stayed - mostly the derealization and cog fog.  But I'm hopeful that they will be leaving soon.

 

We all have much to look forward to.  And, we have come a very long way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And we sure don't want to go back!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Tish

[[pa...]]

Hi everyone!

Bill, you expain this well. Our brain receptors just need time to adjust. I don't have any experience with Paxil. I do take small amounts of Remeron and I've always wondered whether this drug has ever had any benifits for me, and, or, if it may complicate my w/d now that I'm off the Benzos. There is another member of our board who has a long history with this med, so I may ask them for advise.

Hope, I know what you mean about trembling. Usually, when I stick my arm out and watch my hands they tend to shake a bit. I look forward to the day when this doesn't happen. Bright lights are a problem for me also and there seems to be an inner soarness around my eyes.

Thanks Trish for the encouragement, and to Vertigo for the congrats. Five weeks, yeah!!!

I hope everyone is having a great day! I'll check back again tomorrow.

pangelingua

[[ho...]]

Hey percussion, Vertigo and bill

 

I sure hope these inner vibrations stop for me soon, cuz it really does affect how much sleep i get in a night!! depending how bad they are, last night they calmed down, so i was able to get some sleep, but was up 4 times...

 

Thanks V ya im on day 4 of paxil taper... so i will not know with the w/d symptoms whats what really now... but again, ive been at 5mg of paxil since sept.. and i know my body def wants more, holding at this silly low dose for 7 months... oh well.... onward!

 

Hey Bill for paxil for some this really is another nasty nasty med!! for me i tapered 40 mg to 5mg in may 09, took me 4 months. .and i was on clonaz too...it was super duper tough for me.. just as bad pretty much as my clonazpam taper, which was 3 and half months.. paxil mirrors alot of the benzos w/d symptoms!!! thanks for the great explanation w the inner vibrations and receptors..! it drives me bonkers thats for sure.

 

appreciate everyones input, and encouragement...

hope

[[...]]

 

I always like popping in and reading this thread...I rarely post..because I am not a official member of the club...but I can't wait to join you guys in the near future....something tells me this will continue to be one of the most popular threads on the forum....

 

TC

[[ve...]]

TC.  Post any time.  Heard you had a rough day yesterday.  Hope you feel better today.  My view is if you took or still tapering a benzo, you're in the club!  We're all in this together.   Congrats to Rumi.  He has taken his last dose and is like so many of us, transitioning towards physical, emotional, cognitive and perhaps includes spiritual healing as well.

 

 

V (no more)

[[...]]

I need some info. 

I have had increasingly severe leg fatigue since my benzo w/d in late Feb. 

 

My mobility has become so affected, that I am beginning to question my ability to continue to work.

My job typically requires a good deal of walking, and I am coming to the point where I can't handle it anymore.

 

In the past, some decent sleep seemed to renew my legs, but in the past few days it is only getting worse.

I am using hot baths and heating pads, and although it helps briefly, I can't get any lasting relief.

 

I am to the point of going to the doctor, but I am afraid he might suggest fibromyalgia as the potential problem, and start

pushing some more scary drugs as a fix.  He has been frustrated in the past by my refusal to take A/D's.

 

Has anyone had similar problems and found any relief...even if from the doctors?

At least I would know what I might suggest to him.

-Thanks, David