You will succeed too!

[[Ak...]]

Thank you so much.  You've given me hope when I was floundering 

[[An...]]

So wonderful! My hope for the day - I truly needed it, thank you so much for sharing your story 

[[li...]]

Thank you all for your feedback. It is so nice to see that the path I have forged will serve as a light for those starting or just behind me. That is a wonderful feeling!  God bless!

 

Life

[[Re...]]

Hi thank you for this !!!

 

I have just recently joined BB and reading your success ( by the way congrats !!)

The symptoms and thoughts is something very similar to mine. My thinking has changed since I've been on these Benzo meds. Negative!! Don't won't to get into detail.

 

I just would like to say thank you.

[[Wo...]]

Hi life4me. Glad to hear you made it. Its so encouraging to read a new success story from someone I can remember reading there post not that long ago. I'm 16 months out and its gives me hope, because I can sort of relate to what your saying. Good luck and keep moving forward.

[[Lo...]]

coop, free,peace, nova, jenny, drew .... the light at the end of the cave is very bright... it could blind you.. After a small adjustment period life will be so awesome for you! You all are almost there!

 

love to all,

 

Life

 

This was enlightening! Having a hard times and just needed reassurance that it will get better 

[[li...]]

Some people have asked me what the difference is between having "bad days" now and a "wave". Having hard times and being "stressed" is different because even though you are under pressure  and may not be having a good day ( ie high anxiety)your perspective on life does not change. With a wave when you are in it you feel that a window never happened and that your reality is permeant in a wave. As you heal when you are stressed or feeling bad one day you get a sense that it is only temporary and hence you come out faster.

 

Hope this helps.

 

Life

[[li...]]

Hi All,

 

I wanted to report that the major stressors that were in my life no longer are around anymore. For the past 4 years I have been in a very contentious lawsuit that has at times brought me to very dark places. Yesterday, I went to court on a routine motion and the Judge did the right thing although unexpected -- he threw out the whole case 100%. Finished!

 

Here is the reason why I am writing about it --

 

First, I can now go on to heal 100% and that is so great.

 

Second,  I must confess that I have lost faith in the past years because of the torture of benzo w/d and this unjust lawsuit. Sunday I was watching Joel Olsteen and he was talking about the "Valley of Blessings". That we are to praise God even in the valleys as we all will gain great blessing from every valley. I decided to do just that and when I arrived in court on Monday I held my hands clamped together and silently said " I praise you God and I am believing in a miracle." I kept saying that over and over again in my mind. HE delivered more that I thought -- he got rid of the whole case!  :angel: :angel:Wow, todays possibilities are so different than yesterdays. Now I can heal 100%.

 

Just wanted to share this as we must always keep the faith even when it looks darkest. This time two nights ago -- I was in my darkest hours. Today the sun is shining, the sky is blue, the heavens opened and the God and His Holy Angles have blessed me. Hang in there - no matter what your challenges. We may not understand why all this misery -- but the sweatiness of victory is so much more with the knowledge of where you came from versus wher you have arrived! You will succeed but believe in him and keep the faith!

 

Love,

 

Life

[[Ma...]]

Life - Awesome!! - Marc

[[An...]]

Beautiful!!! Thank you Life!! Soooo happy for you!! I pray all the time - I will keep trying to believe in miracles. 

[[Te...]]

Life, thank you so much for such an inspirational story!!! Your positive outlook speaks volumes through your written words. What you said about having bad days now and a wave - it makes a tremendous amount of sense to me, and I hope to be where you are within a year.

 

Enjoy your life, Life, and congratulations not only on complete healing but in the courtroom victory!!!

 

 

[[Sl...]]

Some people have asked me what the difference is between having "bad days" now and a "wave". Having hard times and being "stressed" is different because even though you are under pressure  and may not be having a good day ( ie high anxiety)your perspective on life does not change. With a wave when you are in it you feel that a window never happened and that your reality is permeant in a wave. As you heal when you are stressed or feeling bad one day you get a sense that it is only temporary and hence you come out faster.

 

Hope this helps.

 

Life

 

That helps a lot.

All the best to you.

Thanks for writing up your success story.

[[li...]]

Thank you all for your words of encouragement. I used to think, "Why aren't there more people that write their success story?" I almost did not write mine either. When you get off of BB you are not wanting to look back -- especially early on when you feel still vulnerable and starting to learn to fly again. Then, while you are no longer on for month, it is easy to just never look back on this experience. It is no doubt painful -- although for me a great growth experience. Believe it or not, I came back out of a sense of obligation to help those that are in the shoes I used to be. I feel I owed something to give back to this priceless web source BB.

 

You all are in the right place for growth. Just look forward and don't go on the protracted sites and all that stuff. Remember other peoples problems are not going to be yours -- this is a very individualistic healing process. Some may heal in day, weeks, month or up to 18 months! In the end it will all be great. I promise you will all heal!!!!

 

 

Life

[[63...]]

Thank you all for your words of encouragement. I used to think, "Why aren't there more people that write their success story?" I almost did not write mine either. When you get off of BB you are not wanting to look back -- especially early on when you feel still vulnerable and starting to learn to fly again. Then, while you are no longer on for month, it is easy to just never look back on this experience. It is no doubt painful -- although for me a great growth experience. Believe it or not, I came back out of a sense of obligation to help those that are in the shoes I used to be. I feel I owed something to give back to this priceless web source BB.

 

You all are in the right place for growth. Just look forward and don't go on the protracted sites and all that stuff. Remember other peoples problems are not going to be yours -- this is a very individualistic healing process. Some may heal in day, weeks, month or up to 18 months! In the end it will all be great. I promise you will all heal!!!!

 

 

Life

 

Thanks for coming back and posting Life!

 

I remember you when you were on the 12-18mo thread, as I was on the 6-12mo group and would "jump ahead" to see what your bunch was going through. I have printed your sucess story (actually on a doc in the cloud) and refer to it all the time for encouragement. These stories are life savers! -R.

[[li...]]

63-Robert, I am thankful for the feedback. It is so wonderful to be able to help others and send love to those that need it so. Things get so much better! I no longer have waves at all -- you know those debilitating feelings and thoughts that things will never get better - for me a weird depression that made me forget that I ever felt good. I only get normal stress now -- sometimes I feel very stressed out but I know it wont last. It is a pleasure to help others. I remember when I was early on - I just had no idea that this happened to others. BB is literally a life saver.

 

Life

[[pe...]]

Hi Life,

I'm 15.5 months out and I see improvements. Yet still there is a sense of doom.  And while not on the surface, it is just under my skin. It feels like there is a sleeping giant trembling inside of me that I have to tiptoe around. Honestly I am scared of feeling suicidal. It is the worst sensation I've ever felt and I've been awhile without it. But it seems like it could come back, like this isn't all said and done yet.

 

Did you have the sleeping giant sensation, tiptoeing around? When did you feel like you could stop looking over your shoulder?

 

Love,

Peace2

[[li...]]

Hey, Peace, how are you!!!! Great to hear from you!

 

Oh yes I did not trust my recovery and healing until I went without a wave for at least three months. That is why I did not write my success story until just recently. I like you had depression as my worst side effect. It was so scary and I to this day wonder if it will ever come back. I have not had an episode of depression ( just mild blues) in months! I know that it wont come back but I am on the lookout. I think people wait to write their success stories for this same reason. They want to make sure.Then by the time they are out of the woods they forget to come back and write the success story they were afraid to prematurely declare -- weird huh?

 

Peace I know what you mean... You are going through the "delicate state" and at some point you may want to take a brake from BB to sprout your wings but you will feel guilty to leave others behind. I did. I needed to get away because I was only starting to learn to fly again and was delicate. I also had to get off of my gabapentin which proved to be "benzo like" but only for a week and then no other side effects. That was a scare though because I was in day five and feeling w/d from gabapentin and wondering -- then it just stopped. Not like this benzo beast.

 

It is so good to hear from you! YOU sound so much better than before. Oh peace keep the faith. After 14 months major major healing happened to me. As a matter of fact when I look back I see that month 14 was my healed month. You are awesome!

 

Life

[[63...]]

Hey, Peace, how are you!!!! Great to hear from you!

 

Oh yes I did not trust my recovery and healing until I went without a wave for at least three months. That is why I did not write my success story until just recently. I like you had depression as my worst side effect. It was so scary and I to this day wonder if it will ever come back. I have not had an episode of depression ( just mild blues) in months! I know that it wont come back but I am on the lookout. I think people wait to write their success stories for this same reason. They want to make sure.Then by the time they are out of the woods they forget to come back and write the success story they were afraid to prematurely declare -- weird huh?

 

Peace I know what you mean... You are going through the "delicate state" and at some point you may want to take a brake from BB to sprout your wings but you will feel guilty to leave others behind. I did. I needed to get away because I was only starting to learn to fly again and was delicate. I also had to get off of my gabapentin which proved to be "benzo like" but only for a week and then no other side effects. That was a scare though because I was in day five and feeling w/d from gabapentin and wondering -- then it just stopped. Not like this benzo beast.

 

It is so good to hear from you! YOU sound so much better than before. Oh peace keep the faith. After 14 months major major healing happened to me. As a matter of fact when I look back I see that month 14 was my healed month. You are awesome!

 

Life

 

Life,-

 

Again,  thank you so much for coming back and posting, especially the above response to Peace's question. I'm 13 months off and am not ready to learn how to fly quite yet, although its very close. Your description of how the post-wave transition goes is perfect, and is very reassuring. I'm almost there, having had experienced some major healing just these last two weeks (may it continue!). Posts like this are lights on the path for us still walking our way out of this nightmare.  -R.

[[pe...]]

Thank you, Life.

I'll be keeping the faith and walking on until I join you in the light.

 

Peace

[[Be...]]

This was exactly what I needed today. I am a week and 1/2 short of a year off K. You sounded almost like you were writing this to me. I am that person who is so nervous and anxious, saying that my sxs are too severe to heal by month 14. I do feel so much better, for the most part, but I do still have really bad days here and there. Nothing at all like the months prior. However, I am still always anxious, and waiting to get hit with a terrible wave. One that may not come, or may not be that bad. I always read these stories about people going through this for years, and wonder if I am one of them. I DO believe you. I know in my heart that I AM healing, and that I am so close. Thank you a million times for the encouragement. I need to stop allowing this evil drug to live rent free in my head, always making me fear the worst. I need for my mind to catch up to my body, and allow itself to feel better, and then maybe in 2 months I will feel like you do. God Bless You!!! I wish you the very best in all that you do. Xo

 

Teresa

 

[[li...]]

Hi all,

 

I had a small milestone today -- or I might say a big one. I moved since I have been healed  and I decided to go to the park where I once lived. I went to the old park  by the bay and I remembered how I would just walk around aimlessly while I awaited all the S/A of Benzo w/d to heal.  Remembered the chemical anxiety, the depression and the paranoia.  I would spend an hour or so daily there and an hour to get there. As I stood at the entrance of the park I had a mixed feeling. I was saddened by all the pain this process inflicted on me BUT I also was thankful that I went through it and that now I no longer have that in my life. Like I no longer have to PTSD about the whole situation. That past experience is no longer my current situation. I am a new and improved version of everything good that I ever was -- plus all that good that I will become.I like my new reality. It is hopeful and executing. YOU will be there soon. Don't be like me who thought I would never heal and here I am healed 95% and heading toward 100% days! Say to yourself that God will heal me. Guess what He really will!

 

Love,

 

Life

[[Fi...]]

Hey Life--so very happy for you.  Thanks for coming back with the inspiration, much needed here, particularly today apparently!!!

[[dr...]]

Yay life!!!!

[[li...]]

Hi all,

 

I decided to write today about a really bad day. There were some intense situations that just beat the crap out of me today. Although I am healed I had a real bad day and I am just not feeling right as I write this.  For a moment or two, I thought "oh what if I get depressed or something"?

 

 

Here is the difference between "life stress" and "anxiety" and "sadness" and a wave… I know that tomorrow I will feel find and all I need is some rest. Overcoming benzo withdrawal does not mean that you will never have a bad day; it just means that you have the choice as to whether you will feel better.

 

Felt it was necessary to write this.

 

Love to all.

 

Life

[[Sa...]]

Thank you Life4me

Thank you for coming back and sharing your success story here. 

As for having a bad day, i think its so hard for us to remember we used to have bad days before benzos but i think its because of the horrific trauma we go through on our journey to heal that bad days or stress has a new smell and warning sound that evokes fear of relapse.  It is not the case as you stated and it takes time for our minds to believe that. 

I am into my 5th months C/T klonopin and you were so right on the dot about how we feel and think.  Like we are special and won't ever heal from all these symptoms and being bed ridden on bad days.  But like you say it gets better and hopefully we all heal 100%. 

Please come back and share with your great writing.

Thank you

I pray and wish your current stress away

Saraa