Insomniac support group

[[Al...]]

Shirah Visit their web site.

http://www.meditationoasis.com/

 

[[ar...]]

Shirah-Thanks for getting back to me. I hired a benzo coach and here are my thoughts why. Doctors know NOTHING about the w/d s.x after being on a Benzo. TRUST ME!! The only people who know about it are the people who were on a benzo and they came off of it. My husband is a surgeon, he is very smart and he went to Princeton. He knows nothing about Benzo's. They don't teach it in medical school and the drug reps do NOT tell the Pdoc's the side effects of coming off of a benzo because the Pdoc's would never prescribe it. It's a domino effect.

 

Honestly, I'm avoiding all doctors until I am 100% healed. My gyn is test crazy and if I told her I was getting my period every two weeks she would send me for 20 different tests. I know there is nothing wrong with me except it's the benzo w/d. It's normal. I might be married to a doctor but I am staying far away from them now...hahahaha

 

I'm sticking to Dr. Fran's RX which is to continue to eat very healthy. I'm eating tons of brain foods. I'm working out for two hours a day, I'm lifting weights (good for the back of the brain) and I go to sleep every night the same time. I'm even playing word search games and Lumosity (cognitive games). I'm not taking any drugs (only advil if I have a headache) and I am not drinking any alcohol, only water. What more can I do? Time is what is going to heal you, me and everyone on this site. I know that what I am doing is helping me get better. I can feel it in my body and my brain that I am healing.I might not be healed in two or three months however I do know that I will heal in time.

 

I'm seriously thinking of writing a book and becoming a benzo coach when I am completely healed. I've become a walking source of information about this Benzo journey.

Fran:)

 

Fran,

 

I want to pay back and help people going through this also when I am healed.  I just don't know where to start.  If you start a business I'll apply.

[[ar...]]

Well, my reprieve from insomnia was short-lived. After getting some sleep with no meds Wednesday night, last night was a total bust: a return of muscle spasms (myoconic jerks?) with a vengeance that prevented any sleep at all. It is so frustrating: just when I think maybe I've turned a corner, BAM!, I go right into another wall. In so much pain now; it's going to be one of those days to just get through somehow. And I'd been hoping to be able to go tango dancing tonight (my main passion). So disappointed.

 

I hope you all did lots better.

 

Shira, I get muscle spasms all the time.  Just the benzo beast screwing around and it will eventually go away.  I had my magnesium checked and it was normal so basically it's the w/d doing it so I don't let it bother me.

[[sn...]]

Hey everyone-  in New Orleans so I kind of threw my diet out the window for a few days. Good to see some of you getting off and on sleep.  I've been super busy but my sleep is slowly getting better.  Quality of sleep is better but I'm still waking up at night.  I go back to sleep each time but it varies on how long it takes.  I feel like my muscle spasms vary too. Sometimes I have a lot and last night I had barely any.  I've been eating a lot of oysters and seafood

 

Shirah- let me know how the CBT goes...I've been thinking of trying that to help w/ the night wakings.  Happy Friday

[[ar...]]

Hey Fellow Sleepers,

 

This what Ashton had to say about sleeping while in withdrawal.  This should give you some reassurance and hope.  Shira, she mentions myoclonus.  I get this to when w/d are bad but rest assured it goes away as she says.

 

Quote

 

 

Insomnia, nightmares, sleep disturbance. The sleep engendered by benzodiazepines, though it may seem refreshing at first, is not a normal sleep. Benzodiazepines inhibit both dreaming sleep (rapid eye movement sleep, REMS) and deep sleep (slow wave sleep, SWS). The extra sleep time that benzodiazepines provide is spent mainly in light sleep, termed Stage 2 sleep. REM and SWS are the two most important stages of sleep and are essential to health. Sleep deprivation studies show that any deficit is quickly made up by a rebound to above normal levels as soon as circumstances permit.

 

In regular benzodiazepine users REMS and SWS tend to return to pre-drug levels (because of tolerance) but the initial deficit remains. On withdrawal, even after years of benzodiazepine use, there is a marked rebound increase in REMS which also becomes more intense. As a result, dreams become more vivid, nightmares may occur and cause frequent awakenings during the night. This is a normal reaction to benzodiazepine withdrawal and, though unpleasant, it is a sign that recovery is beginning to take place. When the deficit of REMS is made up, usually after about 4-6 weeks, the nightmares become less frequent and gradually fade away.

 

Return of SWS seems to take longer after withdrawal, probably because anxiety levels are high, the brain is overactive and it is hard to relax completely. Subjects may have difficulty in getting off to sleep and may experience "restless legs syndrome", sudden muscle jerks (myoclonus) just as they are dropping off or be jolted suddenly by a hallucination of a loud bang (hypnagogic hallucination) which wakes them up again. These disturbances may also last for several weeks, sometimes months.

 

However, all these symptoms do settle in time. The need for sleep is so powerful that normal sleep will eventually reassert itself. Meanwhile, attention to sleep hygiene measures including avoiding tea, coffee, other stimulants or alcohol near bedtime, relaxation tapes, anxiety management techniques and physical exercise may be helpful. Taking all or most of the dose of benzodiazepine at night during the reduction period may also help. Occasionally another drug might be indicated (see section on adjuvant drugs, below).

 

I hope this helps,

Arcade

[[Al...]]

Arcade79

I want to pay back and help people going through this also when I am healed.  I just don't know where to start.  If you start a business I'll apply.

 

You're hired!! We can take our business global.

Fran:)

[[Sh...]]

Fran - After I've healed, please hire me, also! Re: Meditation Oasis, I'm just incompetent when it comes to any tech stuff; that's why I just go to YouTube for my meditation clips (don't have to download anything)...So keep in mind when you hire me, to keep me away from anything IT-related!

 

Arcade - Coincidentally, I just reread that part of the Ashton Manual this morning, looking for any clue on what to do about the myoclonic jerks. She mentions beta-blockers, so I may look into that, although they may not be a good option for me, since my blood pressure is generally on the low side. I did just buy and take some inositol, which someone on the "twitchers" support board recommended...How do you manage to sleep through the jerks? I really try, but fail miserably, especially when they keep coming fast and furious, like last night.

 

Sniogra - Lucky you, in New Orleans! That might be my favorite city. Have been there many times. But with my nauseous stomach right now, just the thought of oysters makes my stomach turn (and I normally love them). Once this is all over, I'll have to go back there and pig out, try to gain some of the 20 lbs. or so I've lost recently...Re: CBT - So far, I found it a bit overwhelming; so much info thrown at me in one sitting. Plus it's frustrating that she, like the rest of the world, doesn't believe that what I have is like a brain injury. She seems to think my insomnia is all due to bad habits and/or menopausal issues. Anyway, she has me wearing a watchlike device on my wrist for two weeks to collect baseline data. I guess I'll at least see it through till I get those results and her opinion on how to proceed. Not sure if I'll stick with it though. She advises stuff like sleep deprivation, which I know is legitimate method to deal with insomnia, but don't think it would be good for me now.

[[ar...]]

Shira,

 

My jerks happen when I am at the peak of a wave after a cut.  They go away when the wave dies down.  It seems to happen when it feels like my brain is on over drive from the wave.  I think when my brain finally settles down it goes away.  When it does happen to me I just usually accept it and try not get stressed out about it.  I accept that I will not get any sleep that night but the pattern is usually the next day I am so tired my brain decides to give up and let me sleep.  Ashton kind of explains this at the end of the article.  Easier for me to say but I guess try not to fight it too much?  Hopefully the solution that person gave you in the jerking forum helps.  Let me know.

[[MT...]]

I've been having that feeling today that the insomnia will never get better. Even though I took meds the past two nights all I got is very short microsleeps. It shocks me to discover that my sleep can actually get worse. I have to get through this conference and have a roommate so dealing with the insomnia is tricky.

 

Shirah, I think CBT-insomnia is amazing stuff but parts of it don't work during wd. When I did it earlier in my recovery, when I had more capacity to sleep, it really helped and I got more sleep. Now that my body doesn't know how to sleep at all on it's own I can do "sleep restriction" til the cows come home but it won't force sleep like it would for a normal person. It just forces psychosis. So if going without sleep for a couple of days makes you more drowsy and you sleep, try it. If not, I recommend you wait until that happens for you.

 

Good luck!

 

Katie

[[Al...]]

Here is the link that I use to fall asleep or fall back to sleep. I swear by it.

 

Wishing everyone great sleep this weekend.

Fran

 

http://hwcdn.libsyn.com/p/c/9/7/c979a6e9f4a99092/pod50.mp3?c_id=7776875&expiration=1427501083&hwt=cb42ff2f7af8cfd68c7e02f8728e39da

[[ga...]]

Interesting reading all the posts in this thread.  Well, here I am after 20 months and still suffering horrific bouts of insomnia.  This was my problem going into using these drugs years ago.  Makes me wonder if what I am experiencing is just the real me and not w/d.  I would have thought by now this would be behind me.  The good news is I do have nights where I get 5 to 6 hours of sleep.  As of the last few nights, I have laid awake tossing, turning, fretting and become extremely anxious and agitated.  Certain will not fall asleep feeling that way.  Those of you who have been through these bouts know how hard it is to endure.  I feel so desperate and wonder how I can go on living when feeling this way.  Horrific thoughts that I so much want to end.  Even though I am exhausted during the day my state of mind is much better.  It seems eventually I get a good nights rest and that really helps reduce the other symptoms. 

 

By the way I don't use otc sleep aids all that often.  Very much trying to rely on nothing at all.

[[Al...]]

Garton-I'm sorry to hear about your insomnia. Have you tried to listen to Meditation Oasis?

 

 

[[Sh...]]

Garton - I'm with you on feeling most desperate at night, especially towards morning on nights of no sleep. I'm often successful in achieving a calm, meditative sleep, just short of sleep, but other times I cannot help being agitated. And all other symptoms flare up out of control on the tossing & turning nights. Like last night, with non-stop twitches. Uggh! It's going to be a challenge staying calm tonight, since I'm feeling so symptomatic, but I will try my best. Good luck to you, also.

[[ga...]]

Thanks for your replies.  I will try the meditation oasis.  It seems I've tried so much over the year and NOTHING works on a regular basis.  I do not want to use the benzos eever again.

[[Sh...]]

I did better last night. In fact, it felt like the first time in weeks that I got some solid sleep where I was fully unconscious. I did take a small dose of Remeron though. The muscle spasms were lighter and less frequent. Maybe the inosotol helped. I just hope this continues for awhile, as I am getting worn out.

 

Garton - Did you do OK last night?

[[Al...]]

Shirah-glad you were able to sleep last night. I had a dream last night...I guess that's a good thing?

 

I just read an article that listening to meditation helps your brain make Serotonin. We need Serotonin before our Gaba can heal. The brain is truly so fascinating.

Fran:)

[[Sh...]]

Thanks, Fran. I'll certainly give the Meditation Oasis more of a chance. Obviously, it works for you, and you're very enthusiastic about sharing that. And I'm open to trying just about anything that might help, even just a little.

[[Al...]]

Shirah-I promise you that sleep will return but in time. About 3 weeks ago I slept all night, this has not happened in years. The next night I did not sleep nearly as good. I called my Pdoc so excited to tell her about the great news. I asked her how come I didn't sleep great the next night after sleeping all night. She reassured me in time that I will sleep all night, however it's a two step forward one step process. While the brain in in over excite-ability I am happy to be able to sleep 4 hours straight. I promise you in time you will be able too!!!!...

 

Please be patient it will return. I now look as sleep as a beautiful thing and I look forward to going to sleep each night.

Fran:)

[[Sh...]]

Fran - I know deep down that you're right: This is a temporary situation that will get better over time. At times like these, when I've gotten a night of sleep, I see that clearly. But when getting no sleep, it becomes harder to believe.

[[Al...]]

Shirah-You need to associate sleep with only good thoughts. Since c/t I always washed my pillow cases daily and I wash my sheets twice a week. There is something very soothing and relaxing about being in clean sheets with your favorite smelling detergent. I told my friend that I used to stay in five star hotels but now I am staying in the benzo hell hotel...hahahahahahahahaha!

 

I also learned these sleep tips:

1. Go to sleep every night the same time.

2. Get off your computer, iphone etc 90 minutes before bed time.

3. Sleep with ear plugs if you hear outside noise (Flint makes the best ones)

4. If you wake up during the night do NOT look at the clock or go on any computers.

5. Get black out shades.

6. No exercise, coffee or chocolate. Nothing to drink after 9:00 PM.

 

I hope this helps you.

Fran:)

 

[[ga...]]

Always and Shirah....yes I did sleep better last night.  Got close to 5 hours...finally.  Still woke up with some anxiety and depressed thoughts.  I did download the meditation app and will give it a try tonight.  I'll let you know how it works out.  Last night I did take a couple of unisom PM....feel a bit guilty in doing that though.  Holding on to hope for better in days ahead...just lots of stress in my life at the moment which I'm sure is not helping matters.

 

 

[[Al...]]

Good morning everyone!! I hope that everyone slept last night. A miracle happened again.....I SLEPT ALL NIGHT!

 

If I can sleep all night everyone will be able to sleep. Sending good vibes to all.

Fran

[[Sh...]]

Fran - I'm happy for you -- admittedly, envious as well. I couldn't sleep at all again last night. I really thought I would sleep. Was feeling pretty good. Even did one of your meditation clips before bed. And I do already follow most sleep hygiene rules...To make myself feel better, I tell myself my brain is just in overdrive trying to repair the damage the benzos caused. I don't know though.

 

Garton - Sometimes I also get down on myself for reaching for something to help with sleep. I try not to though. It does more harm than good, I think. Especially in times like these, we need to be extra-nice to ourselves, not add to the torture.

[[Al...]]

Shirah-I'm so sorry to hear this. When you can't sleep do you lay in bed, do you put on the tv or do you read?

Fran

[[Sh...]]

Typically, I read in bed about 1/2 hour or 45 minutes, until I feel a little drowsy. Then I try to be still and get into a meditative state. If sleep is going to come, it will usually be within about 1/2 an hour after that. Regardless, I do my best not to get agitated for as long as possible. But after hours of that, I'll take a break, maybe read or watch TV for an hour, and then go back to bed and try again. This time, I also took a hot bath with epsom salt around 5 AM when the muscle pain went back into high gear. There are just times like these when NOTHING seems to help. All I can do is get through the day, try not to get upset about it, and hope for a better result the next night.