Insomniac support group

[[MT...]]

I'm sorry to hear about the lousy nights Corsair and Siggy. This fight can be so discouraging but I'm glad you folks get some sleep sometimes.

 

I had a very restless night but got some sleep. My adrenalin surges and anxiety had been better but they came back this past week. I'll see how the cocktail works.

 

I have work today. Hopefully I'll be able to think well enough

[[sn...]]

Hey all- last night was my third night med-free, and despite my son waking up couple times from teething I felt like I got some sleep.  I still woke up about 4 times but each time I fell back asleep quickly.  I drank the cocktail last night, and maybe that was why I was able to go back to sleep so quickly? The quality of sleep was the best it's been in months.  Dare I say- I feel rested today?? 

 

I'm still drinking bone broth (for amino acids), holy basil tea (for anxiety during the day), and using magnesium lotion.  All seem to be helping me.  I'm still not going to get too hopeful until I see a consistent pattern of quality sleep.  I'm thankful some of you recommended going med-free because the sleep quality is a night and day difference.

 

I'm still dealing with day time anxiety in waves as well as burning skin.  They are much more manageable with sleep.  I decided that I needed to eliminate all stress from my life.  I'm letting a lot of things go.  I'm mentally trying to clear space in my head and fill it with only positive.  Things that would normally stress me out are so trivial in comparison to what we are dealing with.

 

Back at work today too- good luck MTfan.  Hope some of you got some rest

[[Al...]]

SNIORGA Wonderful news!! I bought some magnesium lotion yesterday what brand do you use? I bought the ingredients for the adrenal cocktail but noticed on line it said not to try it if you are feeling anxious. I'm glad it's working for you. I am a very positive person always was. I swear that being positive and working out daily has helped me in recovery. I woke up feeling blah this AM pushed myself on the treadmill and I'm still on it 70 minutes later. I've also noticed I am starting to find some people on BB who are not being so nice to me. You know the expression it's not me it's you?....lol Who wants negativity in your life I don't...

Fran

[[ar...]]

I give you guys and gals a lot of credit for still working after a c/t.  Don't quote me on this but do most people stop work during taper?  I can't imagied trying to work after a c/t.  You're a bunch of troopers.

[[ar...]]

SNIORGA Wonderful news!! I bought some magnesium lotion yesterday what brand do you use? I bought the ingredients for the adrenal cocktail but noticed on line it said not to try it if you are feeling anxious. I'm glad it's working for you. I am a very positive person always was. I swear that being positive and working out daily has helped me in recovery. I woke up feeling blah this AM pushed myself on the treadmill and I'm still on it 70 minutes later. I've also noticed I am starting to find some people on BB who are not being so nice to me. You know the expression it's not me it's you?....lol Who wants negativity in your life I don't...

Fran

 

Why are they not being nice to you?

[[Al...]]

Arcade79-I do not work and there is probably no way I could have gone off C/T if I had to work. I have one year if not longer to devote to my recovery. I had no idea that I had to be weaned off 5 mg of Valium and had I had known I would have been weaned off. It wasn't until day 24 that I realized I should never have c/t. I called some pdoc's and they told me not to reinstate to ride out the storm. Probably kindling would have done more damage and I was on a low dose of valium.

 

Everyone on BB has a different story and no two people are a like. Considering I went off C/T I have not had a horrible recovery. YES I get waves but they never last too long. I have a nice window every day and when I do get a wave it usually passes within 20 minutes to one hour. My symptoms have all been manageable. I had terrible sleep the entire month of Jan and Feb I would wake up 3 times a night however now I am sleeping 10:45 PM-3:30 AM then back to sleep until 7:00 AM. I'm drinking the adrenal cocktail as I type. I'll have to report back to everyone tomorrow...lol

Fran

[[Sh...]]

So I tried the adrenal cocktail last night. I also ended up taking some trazodone. So it's hard to say what helped and what didn't. And while it seemed like I only got light broken sleep, I was able to get into a much calmer state than the past few nights, and eventually the spasms stopped. So I do feel quite a lot better today. Tonight I'm going to put the cocktail in my blender instead of just mixing though, to avoid drinking residue of salt/tartar at the bottom (nasty-tasting stuff!). Thanks again for the recipe, Arcade. See you all at cocktail hour!

 

Corsair - I know exactly what you mean regarding the correlation between no sleep and worse symptoms. Whenever I have one or more nights of no sleep, especially when they're agitated tossing & turning nights, the muscle pain and nausea are so intense. And when I have a night where I get at least a few hours of real sleep, symptoms miraculously disappear.

[[sn...]]

Thank you AlwaysFrantastic!  I use the Epsom Salt brand lotion.  I feel like it helps.  My anxiety is bad today and I don't know why.  I was feeling really good this morning.  My heart is pounding hard and I have NO STRESS right now.  I don't get it.  Having a cup of tea soon.

 

Good to hear you got some rest Shirah- just having one night of calmness helps set up for the next night for sure.  The cocktail was very salty but going to try again tonight. 

 

For me exercising has been to stressful on my body, so I've just been doing some light walking and stretching.  Even an hour of yoga raises my cortisol too much.  I can't wait to be active again.  Because I started off on this road with extreme chronic fatigue I really have to take care of my adrenals until I recover.  Those of you who have had insomnia/sleep issues for a long time are probably suffering from CFS as well.

[[Al...]]

Sniogra-One day at a time with exercise. There is nothing wrong with starting slow and increasing when you feel that you are ready. Most important is to listen to your body. We all get there in the end!!

 

My shrink told me about mediation oasis. I think you should try it now for stress. It's free just google meditation oasis (go to the podcast section on your computer). I had a wave of anxiety yesterday and I did the MO exercise and poof my stress and anxiety passed.

 

Thank you for the magnesium info. Where did you get it on line?

 

I had my first cocktail at 11:00 AM. I suggest if anyone tries it to use a spoon to blend the tarter and the salt, but not until you get to the end of the drink. Boy it tastes gross but if I can sleep all night, it's worth it. I want everyone to stay positive and remember that sleep is SO powerful it will return.

 

Sending positive vibes to everyone...HAPPY MONDAY!

Fran:)

 

[[Co...]]

Arcade79-I do not work and there is probably no way I could have gone off C/T if I had to work. I have one year if not longer to devote to my recovery. I had no idea that I had to be weaned off 5 mg of Valium and had I had known I would have been weaned off. It wasn't until day 24 that I realized I should never have c/t. I called some pdoc's and they told me not to reinstate to ride out the storm. Probably kindling would have done more damage and I was on a low dose of valium.

 

Everyone on BB has a different story and no two people are a like. Considering I went off C/T I have not had a horrible recovery. YES I get waves but they never last too long. I have a nice window every day and when I do get a wave it usually passes within 20 minutes to one hour. My symptoms have all been manageable. I had terrible sleep the entire month of Jan and Feb I would wake up 3 times a night however now I am sleeping 10:45 PM-3:30 AM then back to sleep until 7:00 AM. I'm drinking the adrenal cocktail as I type. I'll have to report back to everyone tomorrow...lol

Fran

 

You think it would not have been as bad without the c/t ? I did not know either, and had c/t a lot before. I'm just hoping i will be healing and it will get better with time. I'm not sure if a slow taper would have prevented what i'm going through.

[[Al...]]

Corsair12

You think it would not have been as bad without the c/t ? I did not know either, and had c/t a lot before. I'm just hoping i will be healing and it will get better with time. I'm not sure if a slow taper would have prevented what i'm going through.

 

Everyone is different and no two people are alike. It seems people who tapered were still having w/d symptoms. I also think being on different benzo's can make it harder but what do I know...I'm not a doctor. Sending you good vibes.

 

[[ar...]]

Fran,

 

You're right.  I am tapering and get waves on cuts.  They suck.  I am going to slow down for sure.

[[MT...]]

Snigora and Shirah, I'm thrilled for you that you got some sleep last night. I hope this is the beginning of a trend.

 

Work actually went better today and my spirits have been better. I feel like I have my fight and good attitude back. Not so freaked out.

 

I've just chugged the cocktail. Is "nasty" a strong enough word for how it tastes? Are we supposed to drink it more than at night? Excited that my Epson Salt lotion came today and I put some on. Will apply more in a little bit. I'd love for there to be some magic tonight and for any sleep to happen since it's a non drug night.

 

Here's hoping we all end up happily in the Land of Nod tonight and tomorrow is full of windows.

[[sn...]]

Really needing some words of encouragement...

 

My insomnia is back.

 

I slept two hours, woke up at midnight with night sweats and could not go back to sleep.  At first I was really anxious because I kept thinking about work.  Then I decided if I didn't go back to sleep I would just call in. Alas, I never went back to sleep.  When I woke up initially I was sweating and wide awake, not anything like the last three nights. 

 

The only thing I did different was kind of overdo it yesterday...I also took a long because the weather was nice.  Could this have been too much??? Trying not to stress about this setback.  So discouraged.

[[Al...]]

Sniogra

Really needing some words of encouragement...

 

My insomnia is back.

 

I slept two hours, woke up at midnight with night sweats and could not go back to sleep.  At first I was really anxious because I kept thinking about work.  Then I decided if I didn't go back to sleep I would just call in. Alas, I never went back to sleep.  When I woke up initially I was sweating and wide awake, not anything like the last three nights. 

 

The only thing I did different was kind of overdo it yesterday...I also took a long because the weather was nice.  Could this have been too much??? Trying not to stress about this setback.  So discouraged.

 

Sniogra-I am here for you. I too had a difficult night sleep after weeks of sleeping better. I'm getting my period on Monday and I never sleep great before I get it. Last night when I was just about to fall a sleep I felt the biggest jerk of my body. It woke me up and then I could not go back to sleep until midnight. All of the sudden I felt scared and then I heard my pdoc tell me not to be scared it's the benzo that is adding the anxiety, panic if you can't sleep. I stayed in bed and I listened to my meditation oasis exercise "sleep and relax" on my iphone. You can download it on line or on your iphone under podcast it's free. I did a 12 minute exercise and the next thing I knew it was 4:00 AM. I swear by that meditation oasis exercise. You MUST try it for it's a life saver!! I was able to fall back to sleep at 4:30 AM and I slept till 7:30 AM.

 

What my pdoc told me is that it's going to take months for sleep to come back but it will because sleep so powerful. Also when you are in recovery it's always 2 steps forward one step back. The worse thing you could do when you wake up scared and panicking is to look at the clock, put on the TV or go onto your computer. Try the meditation oasis what do you have to lose it's free? I had to pay $250 per hour to find out about it...hahahaha

 

I tried the adrenal cocktail yesterday and I did wake up at 4:00 AM and not 3:00 AM!!

Fran

[[Sh...]]

MTfan - Glad you're feeling better. I hope you're able to get at least some light sleep tonight while going med-free.

 

Sniogra & Fran - In addition to the havoc caused by benzos, it does seem like regular hormonal fluctuations add to sleep problems. So hopefully yours will pass soon...I have also noticed when I overdo it with exercise/activities when not feeling well, it does tend to backfire on me.

 

I've been following yoga nidra clips on YouTube, which have taught me to enter a meditative state where the body goes into a sleep state, while the mind stays alert. And it seems the last two nights, I've entered and maintained that state for long stretches of time throughout the night. So while I may not have gotten any "real" sleep, I feel much better than I do on a morning after a restless night. I do long for some real sleep though. One of these nights, it has to happen again!

[[sn...]]

Thanks Fran- I downloaded the meditation oasis and will try listening to it when I wake up.  Otherwise I start obsessive thoughts about not sleeping. The weird thing was my body was not tired. I was wired. I'm struggling with the idea of accepting the insomnia and realizing I have to just ride it out. 

 

I'll have to check out this yoga nidra clips as well. I need to learn to rest my body in order to function the next day.  Still want to keep going med free if I can. 

 

I took the day off from work and going to go back to my acupuncturist today.  I was going to him twice a week as I tapered and a couple weeks post taper. At the time I was sleeping a little better.  I figure I have nothing left to lose. 

 

Thanks all for the support.  It helps knowing others understand the torment we are going through. 

[[ga...]]

sniogra....I feel for you as I have dealt with this for so long.  Lately, I wake up much too early and start ruminating and obsessing about all kinds of negative stuff.  Nothing good and of course that leads to you laying awake.  A vicious cycle and one that DOES eventually break.  It is just so hard going through it.  I have been off all meds for quite some time.  On rare occasions I may take a unisom.  Acceptance is the key...you just can't keep battling it.  It is a losing proposiition.  Easier said than done...I know.  I occasionally win the battle when I shut my mind off.  I just have to keep working on quieting the mind.  We all hate how bad we feel the next day...but remember....we do get through it.

[[Al...]]

Sniogra & Shirah-

Glad you downloaded MO. The woman's voice is so soothing. The other exercise I use if I have a wave is called "Simply Being" it's on their web site. I'm going to try acupuncture why not? You have to relax at night and realize that insomnia is normal during recovery. The worse thing you can do is to stress or panic about not sleeping and looking at the clock is the kiss of death. I commend you for being able to go to work.

 

Shirah-I agree with you that the hormones definitely make the s/x worse. I do feel better when I exercise and I was even dancing on my treadmill this AM. It took my endorphins about 30 minutes to wake up but when they do I always feels better. I just found out my brothers also wake up during the night to go to the bathroom and I'm wondering if it's genetic. I just don't think people in their 50's sleep all night.

 

Having my adrenal cocktail now:) CHEERS!

Fran

 

[[ga...]]

Well, I am 59 and agree with you.  I know I don't and many I talk to wake for various reasons other than having to go to the bathroom.  With me I usually am up 2 to 4 times a night to go to the bathroom.  Always a light sleeper even when I slept 7 hours a night in my younger years.  I do the best not to go into a panic mode when going back to bad and not falling asleep.  Very hard to do after laying there an hour or so.  Some nights I can muddle through others just laying there ruminating driving myself crazy.  I think I have been told resting quietly is certainly better than panic and you will feel a bit better the following day...even sleep deprived.  Just a matter of not making a huge deal over not sleeping.

[[Al...]]

My Pdoc told me about a new sleeping pill that does not effect GABA. I decided not to use it but here is the link.

 

http://www.fda.gov/NewsEvents/Newsroom/PressAnnouncements/ucm409950.htm

[[MT...]]

Hi All. I tried the adrenal cocktail and epson lotion last night. I was awake all night again but I didn't have an adrenal surge until around 6 or 7 am and that's later.

 

I think you're right that acceptance and not panicking about the sleep loss is crucial. It perplexes me that my mind isn't busy usually at night. It's just like there's a switch that won't go off. I've tried the meditation thing but it seems like just reading is the best thing for me.

 

I'm in my early 50s. Maybe that does complicate this.

 

That insomnia med still scares me. It may not affect GABA but wouldn't we end up in the same mess with a different receptor thing getting downregulated? It seems like everything causes wd but that they don't find out about that until way after a drug is on the market. I've read posts on BB saying the same things about Lunesta years ago and look what happened with it.

[[sn...]]

Thank you garton- your words mean a lot.  Half of the battle is in our minds I know. 

 

I just got back from my acupuncturist.  He wants me to come for an intensive 3 day-a-week treatment for the next few weeks to treat insomnia.  He told me he is trying to shut down my adrenals so they stop producing fight or flight hormones and increase circulation to my brain.  He says it's our adrenals waking us up constantly throughout the night.

 

He also told me I needed to quit blaming myself and the drug....that I needed to move forward.  He wants my diet to include foods that promote neurotransmitter production... Sulfur rich foods, bone broth, leafy green veggies, fatty meat, etc.  Also said to not take ANY medications at all.  If it helps in any way I'm all for it.

 

I hope you all get some rest tonight. 

 

 

[[Al...]]

Sniogra-I never tried acupuncture. Does it hurt? What about Vitamins can you take that? I only take Vitamin D.

[[sn...]]

Hey Fran- no it doesn't hurt.  Feels like a pin prick. I did acupuncture while I was tapering and a couple weeks post taper and I did feel like it alleviated some of the w/d symptoms.  Of course I thought I was in the clear so I stopped doing the acupuncture.  I'll be interested to see if it has any effect again. Really trying to focus on my diet right now as that is one thing I at least have control of.