An Unmeasured Success – Badsocref’s New & Improved Cold Turkey Success Story

[[...]]

I still had a ways to go at 5 months.  You'll get there!

 

Hey Bad!

 

Thanks. Did you go through a period of just feeling 'blah'?

 

I'm at month 5 and 6 days now, but the past 3 weeks have been , what I call, 50/50 days. Not really bad, but not good either.

I used to have a weekly pattern of 2 bad days, 2 good, 3 semi bad/semi good. But lately, past 3 weeks EVERYDAY is 'semi-bad' with no 'good' days like I used to have. But the 'bad' days are not as 'bad' as they used to be months ago, still I don't get a break from them.

 

It's wall to wall, back to back days of 'blah'.

 

I'd almost rather be slammed hard one day and then get a break the next, like I used to have. Now it's just one long running 'blah' day after day.

 

Did this happen to you?

 

Thanks

 

 

[Guest [ba...]]

What you call blah, I think is what I called zombie.  I was like that for a few months (months 4-6).  It got better only very slowly until month 7.  Then I improved a lot. 

[[Sa...]]

Bad, you were my inspiration during all of the w/d that I went through. ope you're well. Glad all seems like they're going well with you.

[Guest [ba...]]

Bad, you were my inspiration during all of the w/d that I went through. ope you're well. Glad all seems like they're going well with you.

 

Wow!  Thanks!  I'm really glad that you're doing well. 

[[Sl...]]

What you call blah, I think is what I called zombie.  I was like that for a few months (months 4-6).  It got better only very slowly until month 7.  Then I improved a lot.

 

Thanks for the clarification on the dullnes (zombir-blah) walked thru it all of month-4 in month five

now and still in it. Similar to JACD except for occasional brief intense wave-window interruptions.

Mostly just zombie mode with the dullness slowly lifting. Just keep walking thru it...

[[...]]

What you call blah, I think is what I called zombie.  I was like that for a few months (months 4-6).  It got better only very slowly until month 7.  Then I improved a lot.

 

Thanks Bad!

 

Yeah, the "Zombie Blahs" we could say!

 

Yes,  I'm 5 months and 3 weeks. I had been feeling really bad the beginning of this month. A 8/9 day long wave. Sucked. Worst since my acute started in Feb. Feb was worse, but it was still bad. But then about 10 days ago. It stopped. And I felt pretty good.

 

The one big issue I've had since 'feeling good' was that my sleep pattern is WAY off. Like everyday. Started sleeping at 12pm! Then 2pm. Then 4pm, and then 6pm! Crasy. So, I'd sleep at like, 4pm and wake up at 11pm?? Then be up all night . It was so weird.

 

So sick of being sick, depressed, and I walked outside but my nerves flaired up bad and had to cut it short.

 

I just feel like I'm on 10 cups of coffee all day. Sucks. That AND I feel tired and spacey.

 

 

I hope month 6 is better.

[Guest [ba...]]

Yeah, my sleep isn't quite right, but it's OK.  I currently get 5-6 (sometimes 7) hours of sleep per day, but 1-2 hours of it is often now an afternoon or evening nap.  I never used to take naps.  But I'll take what I can get.

[[Al...]]

Badsocref-I took Valium at 3:00 AM only if I could not fall back to sleep. I'm almost 17 weeks off and despite still waking up once or twice during the night I can now fall back to sleep ASAP and without any Valium. My PDOC recommended Meditation Oasis "Relax Into Guided Meditation". You can download it for free on your iphone under Podcast. This meditation has saved me at 3:00 AM. Instead of popping a Valium I now listen to my mediation and I am out cold. If I only knew about it years ago........

Fran

[Guest [ba...]]

I popped 'k' or 'a' instead of valium, but my experience was much the same.  If I'd known about other options (and what benzos were doing to me), I'd have never started them.  Oh well - I'm glad that part of my life is over..

[[Al...]]

I read all of your threads backwards over the weekend. We have a lot of similarities and not to jinx myself (knock on wood) but I am healing very nicely. I'm sleeping 5 solid hours straight without taking V (what a big accomplishment). I always wake up once to go to the bathroom but now I can fall back to sleep ASAP, and if I can't I use my Mediation Oasis. I'm getting 7-8 hours of sleep a night and I'm dreaming again:) There is no point looking back for we can only look forward.

[Guest [ba...]]

I read all of your threads backwards over the weekend. We have a lot of similarities and not to jinx myself (knock on wood) but I am healing very nicely. I'm sleeping 5 solid hours straight without taking V (what a big accomplishment). I always wake up once to go to the bathroom but now I can fall back to sleep ASAP, and if I can't I use my Mediation Oasis. I'm getting 7-8 hours of sleep a night and I'm dreaming again:) There is no point looking back for we can only look forward.

 

I'm really glad that you're healing is going well.  I think that there are many of us here who used benzos as a sleeping aid (for relatively minor late-night anxiety), and will have roughly similar healing prognoses and time lines.  Remember to continue to use those relaxation techniques after you heal.  I strayed away from doing relaxation stuff for a while, then realized (last week), that I was carrying around some tension.  I did some relaxation 'exercises' and it really helped.  Need to stay vigilant with this.

[[Al...]]

Thank you for the meditation info. Currently I sleep with my Iphone under my pillow so it's there if I need it during the night. When I was having anxiety in the beginning of my recovery I used to listen to 3-4 meditations per day and I could not believe how much it helped with my anxiety. I was just looking back at my journal. I stopped Valium 12-31-14. I went into acute w/d on 1-14 which lasted for 6 days but not all day just a couple of hours each day. Then I had a two week window and I remember thinking I was cured haha. I concur with you that if you take a benzo just for sleep perhaps you do have an easier recovery. All of my s/x's were manageable and I never stayed in bed one day. I just kept exercising and moving.

[[mi...]]

What's this talk about if you took benzos specify for sleep you might have an easier time getting off. I never had anxiety or any other issues. This just gives me some hope that my taper, ( or cold turkey, as I might lose my doctor, my fourth because they are impatient with my taper attempts and afraid of all the new laws here in New York) might go better. I don't need them for sleep, I stopped drinking beer and only get up a few times in the night. I want off so bad.

[[...]]

Congrats.  I am half way through my taper.  I was wondering if your tinnitus decreased?

[Guest [ba...]]

It's not an issue.  There's still some tinnitus there, but I don't usually notice it unless I think about it.

[[Di...]]

Hi badsocref, I just read your success story. 

 

So happy that you are off the crazy benzos.

 

I also wanted to say that I find your posts to be helpful, as I'm sure others do.

 

[Guest [ba...]]

Thanks! 

[[an...]]

Your story helped me as I'm at month 1 off a similar dose of Ativan. Thank you so much for being brave and getting through it so you could show others, like me, there is a light at the end of this tunnel.

 

I appreciate you and am so happy you feel good!

 

 

[Guest [LA...]]

I'm a few days away from one month off lorazepam and am perusing success stories...thank you for sharing your story! 

[[Cl...]]

Hi Badsocref, Thank you for your posts to me, they were all very helpful! Your success story still inspires me. As you, I also started to feel 90% healed at 9 months out.

[[Vm...]]

Congratulations badsocref!

 

You truly are an inspiration for all of us and I really appreciate all of the help you have given me as well as advice, confidence and hope. You are truly one of the most valued members (to me) on benzobuddies!

 

Thank you for sharing your story with us and thank you for all of your help. I wish nothing but the best to you! You are an awesome person!!!

 

Thanks again

[[Tr...]]

Great story. Congratulations.

[Guest [...]]

How is your tinnitus now...I have it bad, and am in fear coming off Ativan and gabapentin. Neither seem to"help" it, sometimes just make it worse after I dose. I go to my doctor on Jan. 12 for a course of action.

[Guest [ba...]]

It's been the same for quite some time.  It's there, but I don't usually notice it unless it's called to my attention.

[[Ar...]]

Your success gave me hope for today.  Thanks for sharing.  Wishing you joy, peace and love for your life.