An Unmeasured Success – Badsocref’s New & Improved Cold Turkey Success Story

[[13...]]

what do you mean Euphoria?

So that feeling when one comes off benzos is fake?

I had that as well. I foolishly thought things were going to be better...It lasted for about a week...and then I've been in hell for 14 months from c/t.

I get mad because I trusted this euphoria. I thought it meant something more than a symptom.

Can you just tell me a little more about it?

Thanks!

 

Also, how long did your intense dp/dr last?

 

[[La...]]

what do you mean Euphoria?

So that feeling when one comes off benzos is fake?

I had that as well. I foolishly thought things were going to be better...It lasted for about a week...and then I've been in hell for 14 months from c/t.

I get mad because I trusted this euphoria. I thought it meant something more than a symptom.

Can you just tell me a little more about it?

Thanks!

 

Also, how long did your intense dp/dr last?

 

I cant speak for badsocref, but in regard to his adjoining comment:

 

"On another day I recall posting that I felt like I was on shrooms.  That might be terrifying to some people, but I had eaten a few shrooms back in my 20’s, and had usually enjoyed the experience.  So the intense DP/DR feeling didn’t scare me.  I was actually able to kind of enjoy the feeling (a little)."

 

I had exactly this same experience. The dp/dr sx was by no means something I looked forward to, but it had many qualities reminiscent of psychedelic agents, of which I am very familiar with. Consequently, the DP/DR didnt scare me, and by way of association (to previous dp/dr experiences way back in my past), I was able to "adjust" or get used to it without it being such a bad thing.

[[Wo...]]

Congrats bad. You're story is inspirational. Your attitude about palps has really helped me change my own outlook. I'm very grateful for that.

[[13...]]

Laserjet3051

 

How long did your dp/dr last?

I have it 24/7 and is very bad at 14 months out. Some days are worse than others, like today. I had a difficult time on the highway because of it.

It is still incredible.

I slip into the darkest depression because it sucks the life out of my soul. There are NO signs of it letting up anytime soon...I don't know where to dig for hope?!

[[Cl...]]

Congratulations Badsocref! Very nice success story! It gives us lots of hope!, please keep on posting and helping us all!

[[Mo...]]

Congrats badsocref!!! So happy for you! Please keep coming back cause you are such an inspiration! One of my favorite buddies ever!

[Guest [ba...]]

How long did my DP/DR last??  It was pretty strong for the first month, then gradually got better.  By the end of the third month, my 'clarity' baseline was around 6-7 our of 10.  'Clarity' was a aggregate of DP/DR as well as other cog fog related stuff, but as one mental issue went, the others tended to go.

 

fwiw - I wouldn't say that I had a 'lot' of experience with psychedelics, but I had enough that I could recognize and deal with the feeling and not be scared about it.  The (learned) ability to 'maintain' when I was young served me when I needed to deal with people during those first few months.  It was especially useful when I had to teach.  I co-instruct an astronomy course at a couple of local community colleges, and there were more than a few times that I felt like I was living in some distant galaxy while lecturing.  That disorientation can be really scary for some people, but I knew it was the drug and that normalcy would return in time.

 

1314 - I'm not sure what you mean about the euphoric feeling being fake???  The feeling was as real as any feeling.  I don't want to give the impression that I spent the first 3 months feeling like I was at a Grateful Dead concert.  It was nothing like that.  The euphoric feeling was usually very subtle.  The bad stuff was very much stronger.  To try to find an analogy - imagine eating liver (I don't like liver at all - it's one of only 2-3 foods that I will not eat).  To this liver is added a hint of sage (which I like a lot).  It would be pretty torturous for me to eat liver, but if I was forced to do eat it, day after day - with the added rosemary - I'd definitely notice that hint of rosemary, and it would probably help the temper the bad experience just a bit.  Does that make sense??

[[Li...]]

What was your experience with paresthesia.....severity, time frame, etc.  It's been my worst symptom and so many have long-term problems with it.....looking for some encouragement regarding this.

 

 

[Guest [ba...]]

There was a thread on this very recently that I posted to.  I had occasional searing pain on the periphery of my feet.  It most often occurred in bed.  My sheets brushing gently on my feet made it feel like my feet were literally ablaze.  And yet, I could handle the same areas (with my hands) and feel no pain.  It was weird.  For me, it was pretty much over within a month or two after jumping.

[[13...]]

Badsocref,

Thanks for the reply!

I understand about the euphoria now.

 

Wow, I was so jealous when I read that you had the dp/dr for a month. I'm on my 14th month of it and it actually has been the strongest since 6 months until now.

It is super super intense day in an day out. I don't get "windows" only a few hours in the evening that are less intense.  I'm amazed I've endured it as long as I have -mostly due from encouragment through other posts that it will go away....that somehow all this "goes away" and we heal. I have to borrow other peoples' faith, because I have very little...I run on fumes at this point as the 1 1/2 year mark encroaches upon me and I'm still suffering immensely. 

Thanks again.

[[Ca...]]

Wow....what a fantastic story Badsocref! Thank you. I am so hungry for accounts of healing. It amazes me how similar many of the success stories are....helps me believe this really is withdrawal and I will one day be free.

Wishing you joy.

Warmly,

Carita

[Guest [ba...]]

Wow....what a fantastic story Badsocref! Thank you. I am so hungry for accounts of healing. It amazes me how similar many of the success stories are....helps me believe this really is withdrawal and I will one day be free.

Wishing you joy.

Warmly,

Carita

 

Yeah, it seems like many people have somewhat similar paths.  The time frames may vary, but the general symptoms we 'enjoy' are often pretty similar.

[[Co...]]

Excellent success badsocref! Thanks for being so candid with your experience!

[[ar...]]

Bad,

 

You're as tough as nails.  Thanks for the inspiring story!

 

Best Wishes

[[do...]]

Thanks for sharing.    I am a couple months behind you and remember many of your posts.  Amazing that we can make it out the other side.  A year ago this seemed impossible.

 

Cheers!

 

Domestic Advisor

[[Je...]]

Congratulations, badsocref!

[[co...]]

Great post, thank you for writing it. I strongly relate to this statement (and it even made me giggle a little because I know the feeling): "I was only semi-aware of what I did at work each day – I was in such a daze.  Fortunately, I’ve been doing my job for a long time, and can do much of it robotically – a good thing since my brain was running at about 50% capacity."

[[Al...]]

Badsocref-what a GREAT story a true inspiration. I too c/t off of valium 5 mg which I used for a sleep aide. So far it has not been too terrible and I am getting better. I have been working out for the past 23 years and I continued/continue to work out every day for 2 hours. I have windows every day and when I get a wave it usually passes within one hour. I am a cancer survivor and I am a very positive person. I know that I will heal in time.

 

Again thank you for sharing your story.

Best,

Fran

[Guest [ba...]]

Fran - I'm glad you liked it, and I'm happy that you're getting through your withdrawal reasonably well.  I'm also a cancer survivor.  It was caught very early, so not a biggie for me.  A nice scar to show for the experience, but no chemo.  6+ years now.

[[Al...]]

Badsocref-Good morning and thank you for getting back to me. I was diagnosed with first stage melanoma on my foot when I was 33 years old. I am currently 51 years old. I've recently had two skin cancers basal cell on my face. One on my forehead and I needed 30 stitches plus a flap to close it up and in Jan I had another one on my temple, however I caught the sucker very early only needed 11 stitches. If I can survive skin cancer I know that I will heal from a benzo.

 

I have a question for you and perhaps you will know the answer. Last night I had a dream (not a nightmare). I can only vaguely remember it. Someone said once you start having dreams that means your brain is healing is that true? I have noticed that my short term memory is so much better than it was when I was on valium in December. I am eating tons of healthy brain foods and I just started playing word search games and Lumosity daily.

 

I look forward to hearing back from you.

Fran:)

[[We...]]

👏 bravo! Well said/written! This story sounds almost identical to mine! I am 1 month 2 weeks CT from Benzos! This post gives me hope and inspiration! You are proof it can be done! Thank you so much for sharing your story!

 

[Guest [ba...]]

Badsocref-Good morning and thank you for getting back to me. I was diagnosed with first stage melanoma on my foot when I Last night I had a dream (not a nightmare). I can only vaguely remember it. Someone said once you start having dreams that means your brain is healing is that true? I have noticed that my short term memory is so much better than it was when I was on valium in December. I am eating tons of healthy brain foods and I just started playing word search games and Lumosity daily.

 

Fran - I also started having dreams when I stopped using benzos.  They were weird dreams at first.  I did not recall dreaming when I took benzos.  I also felt it was a positive sign.

[[Mo...]]

Fran - I'm glad you liked it, and I'm happy that you're getting through your withdrawal reasonably well. I'm also a cancer survivor.  It was caught very early, so not a biggie for me.  A nice scar to show for the experience, but no chemo.  6+ years now.

 

So happy for you b.

[[...]]

Hey Bad

 

Just re-read your story again.

 

I needed it!

 

I'm 5 months off now ( from a 9 month taper0 and still feel 'blah'. Was never a daily user until my Taper. I wish I would have just CT. Maybe I'd be done by now...

 

Oh well. I hope I turn a corner soon, like you did. At least a bit.

[Guest [ba...]]

I still had a ways to go at 5 months.  You'll get there!