12-18 month support

[[Co...]]

Hi Mrs.  CONGRATULATIONS ..♡♡...MONTH 5...♡

......No Doubting Thomas you....I don't think I have ever heard you once say that you thought your sx were anything but w/d...you are so getting through this...so glad you are here to sing the rah rah rah when we need it

....Have a great evening Mrs.. love to you....coop

[[Co...]]

Just an update....After a 30 minute bout of jitters ( with very little anxiety) my day opened up to big sunbreaks...not exactly a window....but a good baseline of 65%-70%....felt mostly normal today....no real active sx ...still shakes mentally. It takes me awhile to recover mentally from major panics... My clarity ....better....dizziness...a lot better....chemical anxiety and jitters...better....I will take it. Working on self talk and 4-7-8 breathing to counteract fear of sunbreaks closing and return of panic .....kicking back watching a little of the pilitics....love the politics...don't hold it against me I love MSNSB...love The Cycle

.......coop

[[So...]]

Whatever works to distract,  Coop!  Glad you're having a good baseline.

[[Co...]]

Thanks SoCal....I would rather be on the couch with one of my little grandsons watching a Disney movie.  So way better than politics, but they are busy with little boy lives of soccer and baseball and science fairs...hopefully my sunbreaks are going to hold and I will go to the science fair and games.  Hoping....coop

[[mr...]]

Came home early from work. On the couch watching a Disney movie about a zebra who becomes a race horse With my 10 year old daughter.

 

Just trying to distract.  😆

 

RACING STRIPES!!!

 

See?!?!?  You're not the only one!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Mrs.

[[dr...]]

Yay coop!!

[[mr...]]

Coop - thanks for the kudos   I'm happy to be where I'm at, for sure

 

The Benzo Book is by Jack Hobson-Dupont, and it is found for free here: http://www.thebenzobook.com/benzo/pdfs/the-benzo-book10.pdf  Not like it's in my arsenal or anything.

 

By the way, at the book's end, he was 9 months off and still in recovery.  He is now 100% healed and well - he's commented that it took him over five years to feel normal again, so he was a bit more "protracted" than most.  Protracted or not ~ remember, we all heal

 

Drew - heya buddy!  How goes?!  Feels like forever since we've chatted!

 

Jrod - good to see you again on here   You're a warrior for sure.  I'm super-duperly looking forward to hearing of your "corner" turned, buddy   You've done some good "time", and it's coming soon!  Hang in there.

 

Sky & Green - how's things going?  Been thinking of you both.  Getting on the bike a little bit? 

 

Nova - I LOVE walking!  Me and a buddy go 3-4 times per week, and it has become a very enjoyable routine for us   Do you go out walking often when the weather is nice?  I bet Nova Scotia is gorgeous scenery to view!

 

Jenny - hope you're fairing well   Thinking of you

 

Everyone else ~ you are in my thoughts also!!  Enjoy your evening, gang.  We are celebrating a birthday with a friend tonight!  Eatin' a lil Buffalo Wild Wings and enjoying some friendship   Happy Monday to you all!

 

Mrs.

[[mr...]]

One last thing...an update from Conzumed!

 

Mrs.

 

Hi everyone,

 

It's been a looong time since I was on the forum. Recently I received a couple of messages so I decided to drop by.

I'm very glad to see that this site is still here and that is still giving out all the life saving support to its members... and I will always be thankful for it.

 

It is this very support that will get everybody through this hell...

 

So, this time I will be quick: As of now, it has been more than 2 years since I stopped taking benzos and.... all the symptoms are long gone. I am completely back to normal, if not even better. Putting it all in perspective, now I realize that at the moment when I published my success story I was still not fully recovered: even though I was doing ok, there were still some minor issues, a couple of smaller waves that happened afterwards and mainly my sleeping was still not that great. However, after reaching the 2 year mark, all the "finishing touches" of my recovery were finally done and I have been great ever since...

 

I have no reason to believe that any of the symptoms will ever come back... I do what I want, when I want, without any limitations or fear. Recently I got a promotion at my company and since then I have to travel frequently but even though it can be tough and stressful at times I never had any problems...  Also I got back into sports, and for the last 4-5 months I started to push myself more and more, going to the gym, swimming or running and it feels great! I slowly managed to regain my fitness levels and my muscles are all working again as they should... no twitching, burning or any of the klonopin's "fun stuff"...

 

However, the best part is that I had practically forgotten how I felt when I was sick: as if my brain just erased all the feelings attached to it. Of course, I still remember everything that has happened to me during my withdrawal but I just can't remember the sensations and feelings I had associated to it... and while I read my old posts it feels almost as if it happened to another person.

 

So, take good care of yourselves, be patient and eventually you will all recover from this nightmare... that is a fact!

 

All the best,

 

C.

[[Co...]]

Thank you Mrs for this post...His was one of the first success stories I read....wow...what he went through...So happy for him...love every thing he says about year 2....enjoy your party....coop

[[mr...]]

Thank you Mrs for this post...His was one of the first success stories I read....wow...what he went through...So happy for him...love every thing he says about year 2....enjoy your party....coop

 

 

Mrs.

[[Co...]]

As Sky would say,"...GAAAWW"....Just sitting here enjoying feeling half way normal and got hit...ZAP...out of the blue a sudden sensation of not being able to get a breath all the way to the bottom of my chest...(a new one for me)...immediate panic that horrible feeling of panic just spreading throughout my body.. stunned...it only lasted a few seconds...but now the jitters, shakes and buzzing anxiety and nausea.  red hot face.  So much for no anxiety....For everyone who posted today about thier anxiety attacks.  Thank you so much ...those,posts are,keeping me put together right now.  Drew got hit last night, Nova and SoCal got hit today.. .they did not die and neither will I.  Time for 4-7-8 breathing ...Anyone else get that panic " I can't catch a breath " panic?....I have had a panic of some level of intensity or another almost every day last week.  I have always returned to 'ok' ...I will return to 'ok' every time.......thank god for this thread...coop

[[...]]

Hi friends,

 

I haven't been on the boards the last couple of weeks at the advice of my counselor and my wife.  Things have not been going well at all lately.  Little to no sleep and doing everything in my power to get through the day.  The reason I was told to stay off the boards was because I am placing to much hope on the fact this is all do to using the benzos.  I can't keep using this as an excuse according to them as it does me no good.  Well,  here I am in month 21 suffering worse than I can remember since using these darn things.  Again,  many of us ask the question is this the new us or still the affects of the drugs.  I certainly have done this the last couple of years and still don't know the answer to that one.  It drives me crazy and makes me feel like this is just who I am at this point.  I do not have many of the physical symptoms that others here experience.  Just the sleep and associated "blues" that come when it gets bad like it is now.

 

Sorry for being a downer but I am really having a difficult times at this point and can't relax my mind enough to allow sleep to come.  If I could do that I am certain I would be in a far better place.

 

Hey Garton

 

Sorry you continue to suffer from sleep issues. Your 4-5 months ahead of me and although I am getting an average of 4-6 hrs of sleep I certainly knw how devastating just occasional sleepless night in our cond  can be yet alone dealing with it consecutively.

 

As most of us knw after researching the crap out of our plight, sleep suffers for many of us and can be a problem for quite some time. I recall you were doing better in that dept few months ago. I think it will eventually resolve but we have to cont to be patient. I know how difficult that it is.

 

I'm just completing 16 months out and starting month 17 I've had so few short windows. Mainly still  mood , anx then depression fear, all that continuously  cycling . Then theres constant thought when in the soup of "this will never end".

 

I took these sleep aids for a long time as well as drink and enjoy wine which was my passion  and I have to constantly remind myself it's going to take me most likely two years to be at a much better place than I am today. We are all different and we knw of those who break free sooner and those that take longer. You've been through the ringer but you will prevail.

 

Hang tight friend

 

Jrod, short windows here too. I know how frustrating it can be. My windows are nothing compared to what I hear from other buddies. Someone told me it's connected to the fact that I took Xanax. Only the worst for me !

I started taking them, for sleep issues . Luckily, sleep seems to be the one issue I have solved. I could not imagine facing wd without a lot of sleep.

 

I went on my walk with Jaime, my mom's dog. I took her to the beach, it was really nice. Unfortunately, on the way back, I had tons of memory flashes, they were very    violent.

 

I am going to eat dinner now, speak later. 

 

Hey sky

Yep I'm always stressing about why I'm not seeing the the breaks that others get. I sometimes think maybe the small dose of remeron I was on for 5 months a year ago for sleep could have screwed things up. Then again maybe the .25 Xanax I was put on to get off the lunesta. I used to worry about it but the truth is there's nothing different I could or would do. So as far as breaks the last 16 months have been few. Just the constant yo yoing never knowing what the next few hours yet alone tomorrow will bring.

 

I'm fortunate that I still can push myself to work and distraction is what keeps me going.

 

Good luck

[[dr...]]

Okay buddies...my first real bad headache in 18 days. I didn't get the aura this time but it feels the same. Yesterday I had a bad tummy and appetite issues, revving and poor sleep(I usually fall asleep in five minutes), and a few other tells for a headache such as crazy ass thirst( crazy ass used for nova)

I'm relaxing on my couch and trying not to add anxious thoughts to this. I am reminding myself these types of headaches are more common during withdrawal.  It's not going to kill me and it will probably pass sooner than later.

 

Hi mrs...I gave you a shout out on your thread.

 

On another note....I think I'm going to propose to my gf in the next few weeks. I have a ring arriving that has been in my family since the 1920's.  I refuse to put my whole life on hold since I know I will be better.

[[...]]

Hey Drew good for u congrats !

[[Co...]]

Drew.. first....congratulations on the proposal....how happy is that...blessings blessings to you. ...

......So sorry the headache is landing...glad you didn't get the aura...goid self talk and relaxation strategy...wish it wasn't happening to you...

.......I am on the couch with ya friend...also self talking...4-7-8 breathing...waiting out the anxiety......this will end for both of us....thinking of you Drew....coop

[[So...]]

Drew, big congrats on your upcoming proposal!  That is awesome! 

 

I'm laying on my daughter's bed watching the Angels-Rangers baseball game.  Getting hot burning feelings in my face and legs.  Never really had that before.  Gotta ignore those negative thoughts.

[[Co...]]

SoCal...the hot face and hot body sensations are normal for anxiety rushes...what the heck is going on this thread tonight...A collective anxiety attack....at least we know it's w/d ...and we are not alone.  Carry on...all is well...and we are safe....and someday this will not be a part of our lives.  coop

[[So...]]

Thanks Coop.  The hardest thing to do is to offer encouragement when we ourselves are struggling.  You're a huge blessing.

[[Co...]]

SoCal....so are you...Are you beginning to settle? ...Are the hot flashes leaving....Like Conzumed said in his post....when we are completely healed this will seem like it happened to someone else....that we will cognitively remember the process but the puck that it packs emotionally will have disa]eared...I am going for that....hold on SoCal......coop

[[be...]]

Coop, just read your previous post and was going to do a happy dance for you....so sorry you got zapped.

I'm in the thick of it to. The antibiotics, albuterol, and many Tylenol are not setting well with me.

 

Oh yes, I always get flushed and hot when I go into a panic, after I calm down I start freezing and shaking. It's hard going into the attacks but it's also

equally as hard coming out....leaves you so drained.

 

Ok guys, I'll put on a pot of decaf for us and break out the cinnamon rolls the husband bought earlier.

We can play cards till the wee hours of morning.

Husband is in the recliner snoring...it must be nice. I'm glad he got out a while today..he has been feeling so cooped up...sorry coop..no pun intended.

[[Gr...]]

One last thing...an update from Conzumed!

 

Mrs.

 

Hi everyone,

 

It's been a looong time since I was on the forum. Recently I received a couple of messages so I decided to drop by.

I'm very glad to see that this site is still here and that is still giving out all the life saving support to its members... and I will always be thankful for it.

 

It is this very support that will get everybody through this hell...

 

So, this time I will be quick: As of now, it has been more than 2 years since I stopped taking benzos and.... all the symptoms are long gone. I am completely back to normal, if not even better. Putting it all in perspective, now I realize that at the moment when I published my success story I was still not fully recovered: even though I was doing ok, there were still some minor issues, a couple of smaller waves that happened afterwards and mainly my sleeping was still not that great. However, after reaching the 2 year mark, all the "finishing touches" of my recovery were finally done and I have been great ever since...

 

I have no reason to believe that any of the symptoms will ever come back... I do what I want, when I want, without any limitations or fear. Recently I got a promotion at my company and since then I have to travel frequently but even though it can be tough and stressful at times I never had any problems...  Also I got back into sports, and for the last 4-5 months I started to push myself more and more, going to the gym, swimming or running and it feels great! I slowly managed to regain my fitness levels and my muscles are all working again as they should... no twitching, burning or any of the klonopin's "fun stuff"...

 

However, the best part is that I had practically forgotten how I felt when I was sick: as if my brain just erased all the feelings attached to it. Of course, I still remember everything that has happened to me during my withdrawal but I just can't remember the sensations and feelings I had associated to it... and while I read my old posts it feels almost as if it happened to another person.

 

So, take good care of yourselves, be patient and eventually you will all recover from this nightmare... that is a fact!

 

All the best,

 

C.

 

Mrs., that post was a gift, a wonderful gift.  Thank you!  And congrats on five months.  You sound good.

[[mr...]]

Coop, last week I got spanked with some horrible-feeling fear & panic ~ that stupid LIE that says "Can't!" "Don't!" Grr. It was relatively intense ~ haven't had that for a while. But alas, it is just a wave...and I know I'm healing. That night, I spent the night on the couch (like I often do if/when I need a lil space), and Mr kissed me on the forehead sayin good night, and I turned to him and said, "The days of benzo-beast and sleep on the couch is numbered, babes. This is the beginning of the end." They've often said that you'll just "know", and I had a moment where I felt like I "knew" It felt great Hang in there, Coop. This "return" of stuff is more meaningless than the dried dirt on the bottom of my shoe. Reread what Nova said about it...I reposted it in bold earlier today ~ it is golden nuggets, IMO You are HEALING, girl!! Waa-hoo!!

 

Drew - holy buckets!!!!! Congrats!!!! May your heartrate pick up for a good reason in that moment! You will make an awesome husband Keep us posted, please please!! I LOVE love stories!! Any ideas on how you'll do it?! What about doing it while doing one of your improv performances or something? That might be cool... Dude, its your proposal though...do it however is right for you & her But keep us posted!!

 

Okie dokes, gotta jet...

 

Mrs.

[[Co...]]

Beulah.....bless your heart...very reassuring to know the shakes and exhaustion are common and that others exerience them . A month ago I thought I was getting over those ' I am dying' panics...they had been nearly non- existent for several months.....So sorry to hear that you are in the anxiety attack soup too. ...There is a collective anxiety wave going through the thread tonight. Yes. I would love to play cards ( although I am no good at them)...and have decaf and cinnamon rolls...We all need a big commune until we are done with this yuk.

....It's hilarious that you were getting ready to write me a ' happy for your good day' post and my day turned on a dime. Happens every time..the minute I post improvement...it falls apart.....

.....Yes, the albuterol , antibiotics and tylenol...especially the albuterol , they will work you over. So sorry Beulah that you are enduring a serious illness on top of w/d...How long do you have to stay on the albuterol?....

....thinking of you ....coop

[[Co...]]

Mrs...thank you for sharing your fear/panic moments...So glad you are on this thread with us..

...Drew....yes...details please...we all need a different focus. What's better than a real life romance..We want to know all the best parts...lol ..and yes, you will be a sweet husband...we know that....besides you cook extrordinary dinners...big points there friend...

.....here's to shaking off the collective anxiety attack...Mrs hope you are not on the couch tonight...that's a lonely place...coop

[[be...]]

Mrs., Thank you so much for the success story from consumed. I need to read these over and over sometimes.

 

Doing a happy dance for you...five months