6-12 month thread....

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Just get through it the best you can everyone. I was doing REALLY badly at 1 year off. I'm only a few months from hitting 2 years and doing pretty well now. Very minor symptoms, which pale in comparison to the total hell I was in every day. Trust me, I know what all of you are going through and I know how much it sucks. I never thought I'd ever get better, but I am. Don't loose hope. I literally wasn't sleeping for days and days. Now I'm falling asleep within 20 minutes usually. Before when I did get some sleep I'd wake up with screaming tinnitus. The head pressure was TERRIBLE and the depression was just relentless. Most of it just rapidly fell off around month 19. Sleep better, depression just evaporated overnight and didn't come back, head pressure and tinnitus dropped a lot. I know it sounds like it will be forever to get to that point, but you will get there. Just take it second by second, minute by minute, day by day, month by month.

 

 

siggy:

thank you so much for this ♥️♥️

[[Fl...]]

I'm in the same boat.  Just hanging on minute by minute.  Love all you guys. :smitten:

[[ne...]]

Siggy - thanks we all needed to hear this.  So pleased you`re doing well now.

 

I`m much the same as everyone else here, almost 10 months and hanging on by a thread.  I try to look at what`s improved, and yes the muscle pains have just a bit- but now getting headaches and sore eyes.

 

 

[[Co...]]

Am I the only one who feels like I am worse now at 11 months out than I was at 3-9 months? Feeling so discouraged and confused. It seems now on top of my anxiety and other symptoms my depression is much worse than it was in the beginning...

 

I planned on making an 11 month video, but I wonder if that would be a good idea. I don't know if I should make a video when I'm doing bad like this, because I don't want to scare others.

 

I thought I would be strides ahead of this at 11 months...

Anyone else feeling like this time was harder than before?

 

Feel this way too. I would make the video, because it's the truth. And maybe the 12month will be better, but people can then see setbacks are normal.

[[Ni...]]

Siggy,

Insomnia is my worst symptom and I've read what you went through.  It gives me hope but honestly I don't think I can handle another 12 months of this.  Thanks for sharing and I'm confident we all do heal but the slow crawling process really is torturous at times.

 

BB,

I do think you should do an update if you're feeling up to it.  This is the reality of benzo withdrawal and you can't sugar coat it.  Hope you feel better soon!

[Guest [Ty...]]

All in all a decent day, got a lot of stuff done around the house, had some company over and it went well.  Sometimes I wonder if when I have a better day, am i actually getting better or am I getting better at dealing with my "new normal"?? I hope the former!

Probably both...  I've gotten so much better through all of this at dealing with negative stuff, whether it be emotional, physical, or social.  That's the little gift in our hell.  Take those decent days and run with them -- some buddies get far too few during the first year, which made me treasure them (the good days) all the more! 

 

Siggy -- thanks for your good update!  I'm at 13 months and still cycle in and out of my greatest remaining symptom, which is intermittent nighttime anxiety/panic.  It's MUCH better than it had been--no comparison really, but still draining when it hits.  I recently had a few days of it and realized that the only thing that I'd changed prior to it happening was drinking almond milk, which has added calcium carbonate and vitamins E, A, and D.  All multi-vitamins and minerals trigger strong withdrawal symptoms, and clearly foods with added vitamins/minerals do the same.  Duh on me for taking so long to get that!  I quit the milk 3 days ago and slept well and without panic the last two nights...  Progress!!! 

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Am I ever going to get strong again. Next week will be a year this is my cold turkey after. only 7 months used of diazepam. Husband took me to the store today could barely walk pain bad in my back down in my legs I used to walk so fast. Left side still very weak head still feels shaky. Balanced WAY off walk forward. I'm praying and hoping that things drastically start to get better cuz it feels so hopeless at this point.

[[Fl...]]

I don't know if any of you have listened to binaural beat sleep videos.  I tried one the last two nights.  They should be listened to with earphones because there are sounds that need to go into each ear separately, so they say.  I had been listening to them on my iPad without earbuds while reading in bed.  The last two nights, I listened to it with earbuds for about an hour before turning off the light.  I didn't feel particularly sleepy and didn't go to sleep much quicker than usual but I slept really hard and didn't wake up for 7 or 8 hours the first night and 7 hours last night except for my one bathroom break around 2 or 3 am.  I felt very groggy and depressed yesterday morning after sleeping until 9:40.  I was shocked when I woke up and looked at the clock.  I don't think my mood is any better but maybe more sleep is good for healing.  We'll see what happens tonight.  If you are desperate for sleep, maybe give it a try.  It may have just been a coincidence but it happened two nights in a row.  I usually only sleep 5 or 6 hours at the most.  I am also tapering off Seroquel and expected to be sleeping less as a result.  Who knows?  Brains are funny things, especially mine.  Never know what to expect from one day to the next.  The one I listened to is called THE CORE - Deep Sleep Healing Music - with binaural beats.

[[Va...]]

 

 

 

Hi 6-12 monthers!

I finally made it to 6 months.  I am getting better.  Had all the symptoms in the book month 1-5. Had windows with morning wave daily that went away last week.  It just faded away gradually.  I would walk during the wave and I think that helped it to go away. 

 

Symptoms I have left are: Left side abdominal discomfort.  Was a burning pain but is fading away.  I'm taking carafate for that. Seems to be getting better.  Was on Protonix for that but didn't help it just hid it. My stomach issue is my biggest concern.  Have had x-rays, endoscopy, colonoscopy, neg h-pylori tests, every test possible so it must be W/D symptom. Tinnitus in right ear and it comes and goes.  It is also fading.Back discomfort occasionally. 

 

I walk for an hour daily; eat healthy no dairy no sugar no gluten no alcohol; take Multi Vit, D, E, garlic, Zinc, Mag, Calcium, Omega 3, and Probiotics.  Try to stay busy and engaged with friends although they aren't aware of my situation. 

 

I keep telling myself time will heal me!  Stay positive! Relax and do my diaphragmic breathing!Can't wait for this to be over!

[[Ja...]]

Dang it tybee, way to rain on my first time purchase of almond milk parade today. Lol 😜  "Amazon now" services just went live today in my city.  Needless to say but for someone with w/d panic attacks, this is a big deal.  Groceries delivered to your door for free, within an hour!!  What??!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉😄. So I went kinda healthy and decided to incorperate almond milk into the mix.  I didn't think through the whole vitiman thing, I really do appreciate the heads up 👍.  Some things I did find neat on there was a variety of sugar free candies that i didn't  know existed.  Sugar free Reese's cups, worthers originals, chocolate almond clusters... Yumm!!! 

 

I hope you are all having a better day today than you were yesterday!

    Jay-

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Okay I've been 16 days pretty bad off but the last two days have been really bad. Nerve pain is through the roof from the back down to my feet no balance lean forward struggle to walk will be one year in another 5 days after my cold turkey. Hoping this is normal and stop soon seems like I'm worse and not better. I want to be able to walk without pain and stand up straight without bending forward in my balance off legs feel so weak where I was stronger last week. Feeling very discouraged.

[[Co...]]

I'm getting new sx at 11 months off. This is super scary. Had dp/dr for the first time today, plus extreme vibrations, shaking, fasciculations.

Is this normal?

[[...]]

I'm getting new sx at 11 months off. This is super scary. Had dp/dr for the first time today, plus extreme vibrations, shaking, fasciculations.

Is this normal?

 

Around my 10th month I started to get new symptoms with the current symptoms I have also shaking inter vibrations had some brain fog heavy headedness this is normal. Ashton often speaks about getting new symptoms with the old symptoms I also had some old symptoms that dropped off come back. Don't be scared this is part of the process of the brain healing.

[Guest [Ty...]]

Ddd--I do agree with you...  It's rare to see someone who doesn't weave in and out of symptoms for a year or two.  I sure have.  The overall trend is strongly toward healing, but night anxiety doesn't want to stay gone and neither does morning cog-fog.  That aside, days are good and the night stuff has changed from panic to anxiety, which is much more tolerable.  At around 12 months I had several weeks of really frustrating muscle spasms in my right leg that I hadn't had before.  It lasted for about 2 weeks, stopped for 10 days, started again for 2 days and is now gone again.  Crazy!

 

Jay--you may not be sensitive to vitamin and mineral supplements like I've been.  How did you do with the almond milk?  I didn't mean to burst your cool shopping bubble!  Your grocery list made me crave a bag of Werther's Originals!  I've had the worst sweet tooth for the past year--would live on sugar if I could get away with it... 

 

Hi Flicka--how's your sleep?  Did the headphones help again?  I've listened to those youtube videos, but never with headphones.  Need to try it. 

[[Fl...]]

I had two nights of sleeping harder and longer but waking up more depressed.  Now it's my usual up and down again.  Some nights only four hours and some six or more.  So I'm not really sure...I'm also tapering off Seroquel so that can cause trouble sleeping, I guess.  Still feel awful almost all day every day.  Glad to hear your are getting some improvement.  I'm also going to try some vibrational remedies.  I'm desperate to just feel like living.

[[He...]]

I so appreciate the recent posts about new symptoms popping up/leaving but that the trend is toward healing.  I've had some nasty new ones lately at 7.5 months out.  The latest and not-so-greatest is insomnia, left leg twitching/jumping (only at night) and major cortisol rushes that start at 12:30 p.m.  I'm only getting 3-4 hours of sleep a night lately and was freaking out today that it will never end.  But all I ever need to do is to log on to BB and read some comforting messages.  Yes, I still believe we heal, that this is temporary and that others have survived this and gone on to re-gain their lives.  But in a wave, it is so incredibly easy to doubt it.  Hope everyone is doing well, or at least better.  And I'm sorry for those who are getting new symptoms.  Yup, it sucks big time.  Thank goodness for BB or I would be locked up somewhere.  Oh, how I long to just feel normal again.  The head stuff sucks too.

[[Co...]]

I had two nights of sleeping harder and longer but waking up more depressed.  Now it's my usual up and down again.  Some nights only four hours and some six or more.  So I'm not really sure...I'm also tapering off Seroquel so that can cause trouble sleeping, I guess.  Still feel awful almost all day every day.  Glad to hear your are getting some improvement.  I'm also going to try some vibrational remedies.  I'm desperate to just feel like living.

 

At what dosage are you with your seroquel? (I cannot see it in your signature)  How slow are you going?

[[Fl...]]

I started at 25 mgs and am in my fourth week.  I was just filing the pill but the last couple of days I have been dissolving it in 25 Mls of water, taking 5 mls out and drinking the rest.  I'm not sure how accurate it is but probably fairly close.  So, I guess I'm down 20 percent or so.  Feel horrible but I usually do anyway.  How are you doing your taper?

[[sl...]]

I hope I can jump in here.  New to benzobuddies.  I am 5.5 months off Clonazepam.  Hypnic jerks are my main symptom.  I also suffer from burning skin, rapid pulse, muscle spasms and depression.  I'm in agony from sleep deprivation.  Once I figure out how to add a signature, I will.

[[Co...]]

I started at 25 mgs and am in my fourth week.  I was just filing the pill but the last couple of days I have been dissolving it in 25 Mls of water, taking 5 mls out and drinking the rest.  I'm not sure how accurate it is but probably fairly close.  So, I guess I'm down 20 percent or so.  Feel horrible but I usually do anyway.  How are you doing your taper?

 

The first cut I went from 25  to 20 too. But now I taper 1 mg every few months. Because it's very hard on me this taper. I've been on antipsychotics for almost 12 years so it's probably normal that it's so rough.

[[Ni...]]

Herckie,

I so get where you are at!  Had a horrible wave at 9 months and still struggling.  We will get through this one day at a time!

[[Wo...]]

It can be really frustrating when we're not better by a year off, but it does take some of us longer. It definitely happens though. We do heal. I'm seeing a lot of us getting huge windows between  1 1/2 yrs and 2 yrs and some folks fully healing between that time. Hang in there folks.

 

Niners, have you tried apple cider vinegar for the reflux? I've had success with that. (I just saw it on your signature).

[[He...]]

Niners, thanks so much for the encouraging post and I hope that you are out of your wave soon.  I am actually doing better.  The wave has lifted!  Mornings are still tough, but not as tough as they have been.  Things are improving!  We will all get there!!!!!!  I know I'm not out of the woods yet, but am hopeful now!

[[ri...]]

Hi 6-12 monthers!

This is my first visit here. I am about seven months off. I am getting better but the last week have been very dizzy with cog fog and confusion. Anyone having this at seven months or went through it at seven months?!

I feel confused and the world seems sort of an unfamiliar place right now, like I don't recognize old familiar things mor places...there is not that connection to them emotionally...weird huh?

[[ro...]]

Hello all,

 

I am 7 months off after a 1-week quick taper of alprazolam 1 mg (9 yrs for insomnia)... Was in a really bad shape until the end of 5th month, but started improving over the last two months.. I am feeling much better at this point.. I wonder if it is just a long window or or I am really healing ... There was a point when I thought I was permanently damaged, but the last two months have been kind enough and showing me it can be accomplished with lot of patience and awareness.  I feel knowledge is the key at this point.