6-12 month thread....

[[ri...]]

I hope I can jump in here.  New to benzobuddies.  I am 5.5 months off Clonazepam.  Hypnic jerks are my main symptom.  I also suffer from burning skin, rapid pulse, muscle spasms and depression.  I'm in agony from sleep deprivation.  Once I figure out how to add a signature, I will.

Welcome SleeplessMT! Glad you found BenzoBuddies

[[sl...]]

Rovers,

 

Its good to hear about people like you who are feeling better soon after the 6 month mark.  I am very close to being 6 mints off, and like you, I think I'm starting to see some good change.  I pray this isn't a temporary window like I had in October.  I've reduced my mirtazipine med to such a tiny dose (.75mg) that I wonder if I even need it anymore.  I've been sleeping up to 6 broken hours in the last week!  I still have a lot of hypnic jerks, especially after 4am, but they are not as jolting as they once were.  You told me in another thread that yo had jerks early in acute.  Did you also have muscle spasms/ twitches during the day?  I'm still getting them and wonder if they will be around for a long time as it seems muscle spasms are a tough one to drop. 

 

Take care,

 

Sleeplessmt

[[bl...]]

Hello BB'S! 

I'm 7 months out as of the 21st.

Still have lots of symptoms:

Morning anxiety/panic attacks

Throat/chest squeezing/pressure

Breathing stuff

Mild cog fog

Nerve pain in neck upper back/neck and lower back and back of arms

Sinus stuff

 

Anyone else still plagued with sxs at 7 months out?

 

 

[[He...]]

Blessed41, I am 8 months out and unfortunately, yes, still have symptoms.  Today has been especially hard -- I'm in a very bad wave.  So bad that it is hard to remember that this is temporary.  I was doing pretty good in my 7th month, so am hoping that I will be doing good again after this wave.  I'm so sorry you are still struggling.  I too suffer from morning anxiety, along with dread, and just this morning, had a really bad panic attack.  This has just got to get better.  I really thought I was seeing the light -- I really did, but now am having a setback.  Actually cannot even eat today, my stomach is so messed up.  I hope you feel better soon.  These next months should bring lots of healing and improvements for us all.

[[Co...]]

I'll be moving soon to the other group, wow, can't believe it has been this long and i'm still suffering so much. Having a lot of eye twitches today

[[bl...]]

Blessed41, I am 8 months out and unfortunately, yes, still have symptoms.  Today has been especially hard -- I'm in a very bad wave.  So bad that it is hard to remember that this is temporary.  I was doing pretty good in my 7th month, so am hoping that I will be doing good again after this wave.  I'm so sorry you are still struggling.  I too suffer from morning anxiety, along with dread, and just this morning, had a really bad panic attack.  This has just got to get better.  I really thought I was seeing the light -- I really did, but now am having a setback.  Actually cannot even eat today, my stomach is so messed up.  I hope you feel better soon.  These next months should bring lots of healing and improvements for us all.

 

Thank you Herckie!

I hope you get relief soon!

 

I too am so ready for this to be done. So tired and exhausted as I know that everyone else is as well.

 

Stay strong BB'S!!

[[sl...]]

6 months off and started an acute-like wave 2 nights ago. I'm miserable!!  No sleep from non-stop jerks all night.  How many here had a wave this bad at 6 months?  I really thought things were starting to get better.

[[He...]]

Sleepless, it is not unusual at all to have an acute-like wave at 6 months.  I seem to be having them randomnly at 6 months, 7 months, 8 months.  Until we heal, they will most likely occasionally happen.  The trick is to remember when you are in the midst of one that they are temporary.  Usually when I come out of a really bad wave, my baseline improves.  Hang in there and I hope you come out of your wave soon.

[[br...]]

I just started having bad nausea and I'm in 5th month. I had some great windows now depressed. It's an awful symptom. I have pre-existing digestive issues but don't think this is from that. I feel so hopeless.

[[sl...]]

Thanks herkie . I hate these waves!  Wish this was a linear process so I wouldn't worry for worse days to come. Slept a little better last night (1+2+1 hours, ugh!) but I'm having tons of spasms in my legs this morning.  How many here are having a lot of daytime spasms?  They are just a nuisance as they remind me of the wd 24/7

[[He...]]

Hello 6-12 monthers.  I haven't been on BB in about 2 weeks.  I was doing so very good.  Actually thought I was healed, but I knew I wasn't because the insomnia had not improved.  Anyway, I am unfortunately having another major setback though and feel like I've gone backwards.  I have to keep telling myself this is temporary and once I'm out of this wave, things will improve again.  Obviously, I have a lot more healing to do and just need to learn patience.  Man, I'm sounding like a broken record!  I know many people on BB have some very nasty waves before they heal, so I need to keep telling myself that this is all this is .... it is not permanent.  I hope everyone is doing well and hope to hear from others as to their progress.

[[Ki...]]

Hello everyone,

 

I'm just about to start my 8th month in recovery and somehow I'm only finding this group now 

 

Months 1-3 for me were "okay" after a slow 22 month taper from Ativan.

Months 4-6 were up and down but doable.

Month 7-8 has been a seemingly never ending wave.

 

I'm frustrated, sad and feeling a little defeated. I know I'm healing and I know this wave will end but it hurts right now. I've had new symptoms pop up and old ones reappear and I'm discouraged. Nothing to do but keeping marching forward.

 

I took some time to read back in this thread and I see that some others experienced a big wave at 7-7.5 months off as well. That gives me comfort, although saddened they experienced it too.

 

Looking forward to getting to know everyone.

[[Le...]]

Good evening everyone-

 

I stopped counting months for what it worth but I beleive this is coming up on my 9th? Ups and downs but more ups than downs. During my downs my benzo brain is trying to convince me that I have a broken mind and that surely anyone who has had intrusives like me will never be the same. Then again, the windows have gotten longer, where it all just makes sense.

 

I can still remember when this all started. How scared I was..big jump from today, for sure. I am not out of the woods. Buy boy does the sun feel good poking through the leaves.

 

I can almosg grasp myslef coming back...pray for me my friends.

 

Leo

 

Leo

[[Be...]]

Leo,

 

I am glad there are more windows for you! You bring hope for me and others.

 

Bennie

[[He...]]

Wow Leo!  So wonderful to read your post!  Thank you so much for sharing your amazing progress.  I am so very happy for you!!!

[[Le...]]

Wow Leo!  So wonderful to read your post!  Thank you so much for sharing your amazing progress.  I am so very happy for you!!!

 

Bennie and Herckie

 

You and eveyone like you give me strength. I dont post as much due to the fact there are times I would like to forget about this whole deal but I always lurk like a little gremlin. Hoping to read good news about you all.

 

Stay strong and KNOW that everything that is said about this ordeal is true. It does start to get better. Its like a fog that lifts at times, then comes back a bit for short bursts.

 

Still not 100% healed but WE WILL HEAL.

 

God Bless you all!

 

Leo

[[He...]]

Thank you Leo for your very kind message.  I'm in a really crappy wave right now and it is a bad one.  I have somehow made myself get through my day, but not without some crying and feeling hopeless.  I really needed to read your message.  Thank you again.

[[sl...]]

Hi buddies,

 

Just over 6.5 months off and still struggling but trying to remain hopeful that I'll get another window soon like I had earlier this month.  I was able to quit mirtazipine 3 weeks ago and was actually getting up to 6 broken hours sleep each night!  I have not had a break from the hypnic jerks, but overall, they are better than they were in acute (that was a living nightmare!).  I am now only sleeping 4 broken hours the last several days.  Awake around 3am after a few "naps" and I'll lay there with very bad anxiety and depression once the jerks kick in again.  Had my first panic attack since November and struggling to keep the dark depression controlled. 

 

Not sure how a person survives on 4 hours broken sleep with none of it being deep sleep (all dreams as I feel half awake for most of it).  Hanging in there though.  My little girls are just too precious and I can't give up for their sake. 

 

Herckie, how is sleep going?

[[He...]]

Hi Sleepless -

 

Unfortunately, sleep is still not good for me at all.  I too quit Mirtazipine and since then, I have been living on 3-4 hours of sleep a night.  It's been a good two months of this!!!  I know it will improve some day.  I also cannot seem to relax at all, so I know I'm no where close to being healed.  This will one day be over, it is how we live through it now that counts.  Please hang in there. 

[[Le...]]

Plugging some life in the thread

 

So...First of all, I hope you are all doing well. For me this battle has its ebbs and flows. Frankly its been this way for a few months but at least the other physical symptoms have evaporated into nothingness. The zaps, the toxic sleep, the insomnia, the dizziness, etc. Vanished...

 

My remaining symptom is like a light bulb losing its juice. It will be on, then flicker, flake out to almost nothing, come back on and sometimes not. Its probably the most apporpriate metaphor I can use at this time. But my, its persistence is....enfuriating.

 

I lurk around success stories constantly and frankly it does me good. It always has given me much solace to know this ends. I highly recommend PJ's thread. Truly inspring!

 

I wish you all wonderful human beings the very very best. It goes without saying that the best people I have ever known are on this site.

 

Leo

 

 

[[sl...]]

Leo, good to hear!! Could you elaborate on the toxic sleep you had?  Are u sleeping normally now?

[[Le...]]

Leo, good to hear!! Could you elaborate on the toxic sleep you had?  Are u sleeping normally now?

 

Sleepless, to put it honestly, I sleep like a log. I sleep so nicely I dont want to get up and go to work! I truly spent days without sleeping during the bad waves and it would ruin my days. I take naps in the afternoon and its great. As for toxic sleep, when I did manage to sleep I would wake up confused, sweating and trembling. I would have both of my arms numb and be extemely scared. That, thank God is history. Good riddance!

[[Su...]]

Took last Clonazepam on Oct 4/15 so just over 6th months.  Have really not improved.  Insomnia terrible (2-4 hrs broken sleep), burning nerve pain, anxiety has become intense and lasting throughout day, blood pressure has gone from being high to low, exhaustion, depression off and on.

 

Seems like most of you have had windows, maybe because I had too rapid a taper and the loss of my husband a year ago now.

 

Any words of encouragement, by people in a similar situation?  So hard to do this everyday.

 

Sunny

 

 

[[bl...]]

Hello BB'S!

 

I hope everyone is getting some relief!

 

Please stay strong!!

 

We're gonna get thru this!! BIG

[[ji...]]

This is for cooperton .Im just curious how you ended your taper .Did you feel good with few symptoms or were you suffering quite a bit when you jumped ?