6-12 month thread....

[[Sa...]]

Hello BB'S!

Please count me in, I'm 6 months out today. I hope everyone is getting some relief.

 

 

I wish us all comfort and complete healing very soon!

 

Stay strong BB'S!!

 

Blessed,

 

Welcome! 

 

[[bl...]]

Hello Blessed,

Welcome!  Looking forward to more healing for all us!

Hello BB'S!

Please count me in, I'm 6 months out today. I hope everyone is getting some relief.

 

 

I wish us all comfort and complete healing very soon!

 

Stay strong BB'S!!

 

Blessed,

 

Welcome! 

 

Hello Blessed,

Welcome!  Looking forward to more healing for all us!

 

Thanks!

[[ne...]]

Hi All, I`m 9 months now from a CT and for the last 2 days I could see some slight improvement and some healing happening.

 

All through this my worst sx has been muscle and nerve pain in my back, some anxiety, dizziness and just lately headaches.  I`ve had other stuff going on like nausea and tinnitus but have tried not to pay them too much attention.

 

Those 2 easier days weren`t exactly windows as I still had pain and headaches but on waking they were an improvement to how my usual waking has been. Then through the day they got even slightly better still. 

 

Then during last night I was woken in pain a few times, it felt like I`d been hit by a bus.  Woke this morning to the worst wave with every sx kicking in, muscle and nerve pain, headache, anxiety, nausea, dizzy ....the works!

 

Anyone else had a big wave hit after some small respite at 9 months out?

Thanks

[[Ni...]]

Yes, hit with a wave at 8 months out.  See my signature below.

[[...]]

I had my worst wave so far at 10 months out. it was pure hell, but I'm slowly coming out of it. It's definitely discouraging feeling this way so far out, especially after doing okay before then. I've had a lot of reassurance here that this is normal though ♥️

[[ne...]]

BB89 and Niners  Thanks!

 

  Any of you had headaches start about now?  So far mine has been mostly muscle and nerve pain just about everywhere, but thankfully thats lessened just a bit and now getting these headaches.

 

Holding in here and hoping these waves get less wave-y.

 

Wishing you all windows

[[Sa...]]

I had my worst wave so far at 10 months out. it was pure hell, but I'm slowly coming out of it. It's definitely discouraging feeling this way so far out, especially after doing okay before then. I've had a lot of reassurance here that this is normal though ♥️

 

 

So happy to hear your're coming out of that horrid wave

[[ml...]]

Hi guys, Just wanted to pop over and encourage you from the 12 monther's...Keep going everything gets better with each passing month. We are all so different, but its pretty remarkable how much changed for me in the last 3 months of this year I have been in.

 

Things were so bad for so long. I thought there was just no way it could ever possibly improve, let alone heal, but it did and so will YOU!

 

This is your year! 2016, freedom and healing for you all!

 

Peace and hang tough 

magic

[[Ni...]]

Nevercantell,

I just recently started getting migraines which seem to come upon awakening.  They stick with me throughout most of the day.  This is unusual for me as I'm not one to get headaches/migraines.  I was thinking it had to do with lack of sleep but I had worse insomnia at 9 months and didn't have this issue. Lots of nerve and muscle pain mainly in neck and shoulder area.  Hope this passes soon!

[[Si...]]

Nevercantell,

I just recently started getting migraines which seem to come upon awakening.  They stick with me throughout most of the day.  This is unusual for me as I'm not one to get headaches/migraines.  I was thinking it had to do with lack of sleep but I had worse insomnia at 9 months and didn't have this issue. Lots of nerve and muscle pain mainly in neck and shoulder area.  Hope this passes soon!

 

I never had headaches nor migraines before this either. I had terrible headaches and head pressure for a long time. They got a lot better for me recently. I still have some minor flair ups, but not nearly as bad as they had been for minths and months. I'd occasionally take an ibuprofen, but not too often. It can cause rebound headaches if taken to long.

[[...]]

11 and a Half Months spacey feeling in my head is really driving me crazy with the other symptoms of pain I have muscle pain in my back and nerve pain down the left of my leg other nerve pain someone in the left buttocks left side is really weak struggle to use it limp when I walk but it seems like the sentence that makes everything so much worse is the spacing is brain fog can anyone else relate

[[Le...]]

Hello everyone-

 

I hope you are all in a bettet place with this voyage. I truly hope that each day brings more and more peace of mind and happiness in your lives.

 

As for myself, I am still having my good and bad days. Good days being relaxed and the bad days consist of me being frustrated with the whole process of WD. Broken brain, never will heal, etc etc.

 

This ordeal sucks but there will be a day that the original me re connects

 

God Bless you all

[[Ja...]]

Hello all, I really don't know where to start (again).  Im feeling pretty discouraged. I am one week from my 8 month mark.  I truly thought by this time, I would be getting on here and offering great advice to people who just jumped.  Sharing stories of how i overcame all the psychical and mental pain, enjoying my new found life..... Silly me. Lol.  Im am still very much in the throws of this battle.  Things are not like they were in the acute, but still pretty bad.  I still have not left the house other than little quarter mile walks at night. Just far enough to not see my house then I turn back.  This anxiety really has a hold on me!  Asides from that my major symptoms are, relentless neck pain, chest pressure/ pain, dp/dr, and pretty much constant dizziness.  Home life is begining to get difficult for a number of reasons. Not being able to be the "man" of the house has taken its toll on my self worth and esteem. In regard to the children, I feel like there is a general lack of respect of for my athority.  I hate not being able to do the things I should be doing at this stage of my life (mid 30's).  My wife is a very compassionate person, but she's human and has her limits of understanding what I am going through.  As you all know it's pretty  Indescribable.  I don't mean to sound like a complainer, just needed a place to vent a bit. 

 

Sending positiveness out to you all. 👍👍

    Jay-

[Guest [Ty...]]

Hello all, I really don't know where to start (again).  Im feeling pretty discouraged. I am one week from my 8 month mark.  I truly thought by this time, I would be getting on here and offering great advice to people who just jumped.  Sharing stories of how i overcame all the psychical and mental pain, enjoying my new found life..... Silly me. Lol.  Im am still very much in the throws of this battle.  Things are not like they were in the acute, but still pretty bad.  I still have not left the house other than little quarter mile walks at night. Just far enough to not see my house then I turn back.  This anxiety really has a hold on me!  Asides from that my major symptoms are, relentless neck pain, chest pressure/ pain, dp/dr, and pretty much constant dizziness.  Home life is begining to get difficult for a number of reasons. Not being able to be the "man" of the house has taken its toll on my self worth and esteem. In regard to the children, I feel like there is a general lack of respect of for my athority.  I hate not being able to do the things I should be doing at this stage of my life (mid 30's).  My wife is a very compassionate person, but she's human and has her limits of understanding what I am going through.  As you all know it's pretty  Indescribable.  I don't mean to sound like a complainer, just needed a place to vent a bit. 

 

Sending positiveness out to you all.

    Jay-

Jay, I haven't been on BB much at all for a while, but decided to check in and your post was the first thing I read.  Technically, I don't even belong on this thread anymore, as I'm 13 months out, but I wanted to offer you a bit of support on my way through.   

 

First of all, you don't sound like a complainer.  This is the most difficult thing I've encountered in my life, and we desperately need support and to not feel alone during it.  Like you, I have periods of feeling discouraged, but then the good stretches come and hope returns.  I too stayed close to home early on, but despite some anxiety, ventured further out as time went on.  My biggest test to date was a recent trip from Tennessee to Washington -- to ski and snowshoe.  I'm not going to say that the whole thing was easy, but it was SO worth the effort, and it let me know that despite ongoing body pain and intermittent nocturnal panic attacks, life as I once knew it still exists out there.  I was very much afraid to make this trip, but as it approached and fear tried to take hold, I reminded myself over and over that the fear was about something that hadn't yet and probably never would happen.  In the current moment, I was fine.  Scared, yes, but in no real danger, so I could keep on planning and moving toward what I wanted to do.  I did an an 8 week MBSR course a couple of months ago and practicing living in the moment (rather than the past or future) was one of the most valuable things I gained from it.  Anxiety is so much about the "what ifs" rather than what really is...   

 

I was on benzos for 30 years and experienced a terrible post taper acute withdrawal, but I'm making it!  I really am...  I eat well, exercise, don't drink alcohol (it still triggers panic), and can't yet take any vitamin or mineral supplements without them upsetting my brain chemistry, but again -- I'm getting there. 

 

Little story: I missed my connecting flight in Denver (airline's fault) and had to spend the night in the airport.  On top of that, they lost one of my bags (found it the next day), but I kept regrouping and minute by  minute, I got through it all -- without any drugs, alcohol, or emotional meltdowns -- although I did cry once about the lost bag...  Nothing seriously bad happened, despite my fears.  It might not feel safe out there, but for the most part, it really is!!! 

 

Good story:  As I sat in the airport having the above mentioned cry, a middle aged woman traveling with a cute little dog walked by.  She stopped, watched me for a minute, opened her dog carrier, thrust her little guy into my arms, and said "here, fix yourself!" It's about impossible to focus strongly on a lost bag while being kissed by an adorable dog!  Moral of the story -- despite our fears, there are lots of good people and experiences out there!!!  I wish you many of both! 

 

 

[[A ...]]

Absolutely fantastic!! Tybee...thanks for sharing!!

[Guest [Ty...]]

Absolutely fantastic!! Tybee...thanks for sharing!!

 

Aww -- thanks ALT! 

[[Ja...]]

Thanks for the encouragement tybee, I really appreciate it. Airplanes, ski lifts, wheww!  Well done! I can't wait to get that confidence back.  Hearing about others doing well makes a world of difference to me. Thank you.

    Jay-

[Guest [Ty...]]

Jay -- I remember well how hard it was to see beyond the pain I was in earlier on, but time has proven that we do heal.  My brain is still remodeling along with yours, but is so much better than it was.  Really, no comparison.  How are you doing today?   

[[Ja...]]

All in all a decent day, got a lot of stuff done around the house, had some company over and it went well.  Sometimes I wonder if when I have a better day, am i actually getting better or am I getting better at dealing with my "new normal"?? I hope the former! 

[[...]]

Seems I've been in a bad way for the last 13 days nerve pain is through the roof again back pain hurts so bad shuffling to walk days were facing this is so hard one week away from 12 months I pray that this starts to really is up and I can rest from all this pain and suffering

[[Ja...]]

Sorry to hear your wave has not let up Ddd,  i pray today you turn the corner! 🙏🙏

[[...]]

Sorry to hear your wave has not let up Ddd,  i pray today you turn the corner! 🙏🙏

 

Thank you I'm praying so too on the 12th I'll be one year I'm hoping this is the best her and that I start getting better really fast to where I can function and distract without being in so much pain. I hope things are better for you too thanks for responding

[[...]]

Am I the only one who feels like I am worse now at 11 months out than I was at 3-9 months? Feeling so discouraged and confused. It seems now on top of my anxiety and other symptoms my depression is much worse than it was in the beginning...

 

I planned on making an 11 month video, but I wonder if that would be a good idea. I don't know if I should make a video when I'm doing bad like this, because I don't want to scare others.

 

I thought I would be strides ahead of this at 11 months...

Anyone else feeling like this time was harder than before?

[[Ja...]]

Im a little behind you bb but I get what you are saying about the depression.  Seems like when the pain lets up a bit it somehow makes room for the depression, almost like when u are not completely focused on your symtoms That energy is redirected into negitive thoughts about the whole situation.  Just a nasty vicious cycle. I pray for you, for all of us! 🙏🙏

[[Si...]]

Just get through it the best you can everyone. I was doing REALLY badly at 1 year off. I'm only a few months from hitting 2 years and doing pretty well now. Very minor symptoms, which pale in comparison to the total hell I was in every day. Trust me, I know what all of you are going through and I know how much it sucks. I never thought I'd ever get better, but I am. Don't loose hope. I literally wasn't sleeping for days and days. Now I'm falling asleep within 20 minutes usually. Before when I did get some sleep I'd wake up with screaming tinnitus. The head pressure was TERRIBLE and the depression was just relentless. Most of it just rapidly fell off around month 19. Sleep better, depression just evaporated overnight and didn't come back, head pressure and tinnitus dropped a lot. I know it sounds like it will be forever to get to that point, but you will get there. Just take it second by second, minute by minute, day by day, month by month.